Okay, I dont know where to start the word love is a very controversial subject when it comes to me and my girlfriend. We dont say that we love eachother etc because well, we dont know if we do or not. So, we've decided to do the mature like thing and wait until we realise that we actually love eachother, because otherwise they'll just be pretty much empty words.

I've searched through-out the current pages of Sex and Affection and also checked out the archives regarding this thread, but come across nothing in direct relation. So i've finally decided to post. I dont know what to expect as replies, but hopefully some input so I can pin-point the words for the way I feel about her.

Okay, so... Post your age and your opinion regarding love.

I'm 16 in a few days or weeks or whatever and to me love is something really deep, perhaps something that no teenager my age can possibly feel. Sure, you see people going around the school/college whatever saying "I love you, I love you too", but it all just seems to empty to me. I also feel that people are blinded by a certain feeling (relative to lust) about eachother.

For the older people of Sex and Affection, how long does it generally take before you realise that you are in love with your partner? And how do you know that you are? I don't want answers like "You can just tell", becaause apparantly I can't...

I guess a brief explaination would be good.

Oh man this is so complicated.

I'll let a female answer it for you.

peace,

Haha, I was hoping it wouldn't be that brief but thanks anyway, but you can see why it's such a complex issues amongst me and my girl.

I'm 16, and I feel that I am in love with my boyfriend who is 20 and he says he truly loves me too.

I cannot describe how it feels, but you most likely know it when you love someone.. when you want to be with them, when you stand up for them.

I think that because of today's society always telling kids that they're too young, they force themselves to fall out of love because they are told it was not real. When teenagers start to date, from the very beginning they expect that they will break up because they're only teenages, and that makes them take the relationship less seriously.

You should tell your girlfriend you love her, because chances are you do, and those words make the relationship more meaningful. You won't really know if it was real love or not, untill your next girlfriend, but don't plan on having a "next" girlfriend and "love" this one for now.

I've had several hook ups, and I've dated several guy who I said "I love you" to, and now since I'm so happy with my current boyfriend, I do regret it, but with my boyfriend I know that he treats me better than any guy probably could. And when you look back, if the relationship was real and serious while it lasted, there's nothing to regret in telling that person you loved them.

I know me and my girlfriend probably wont last for ever, but I really like to think that we will and I really think that something big will come out of this relationship.

You said that these words will make it more meaningful, anything we do together makes it more meaningful for me whenever we open up to eachother too.

I actually dont have any plans for 'another girlfriend' or anything because, I just feel so strongly for her.

Well, here we have it, Three ordinarycomplex words put together and when combined is just confusing as.

Me and my boyfriend are able to talk about the future and stuff because he's 20 so he's pretty much an adult, and at that age you often already start dating to look for marriage. But you should talk to your girlfriend about it anyway, but actually from what I've heard (read) it seems like she's pretty serious too.

Yeah you're right, stuff you do together does make the relationship more meaningful so there's no reason to really hurry to say "I love you". Because if you break up and you find someone else, it wouldn't have mattered, and if you don't break up, you'll say it eventually. I guess it's just one of those things that we enjoy hearing, and it is probably awkward to ask your girlfriend how she feels about saying those words, because traditionally guys are the ones to say them first, so you can't really be like, "are you ready to say you love me" because she's probably waiting for you to say it first; and you can't ask her if it's ok for you to say you love her because it's your choice only, and she shouldn't feel like she's making you say it.

Well, we often talk about 'love', I dont know if I've mentioned it, but you'd have to be pretty stupid to ask something like that . But thanks olivia much appreciated.

i am 18 and i believe love aint that sacred of a word or feelin but in my opinon love is just a strong feelin for someone and youd do almost anything for them, i dont know im only 18 and ive had a few girlfriends only one that was not my girlfriend i felt i was in love with and i still have feelings for her, it kidna sucks actually cause i know ill probably never see her again, i think if you care enough for your girlfriend, you will know what yo uare feeling sooner or later

love: when youre girlfreind wouldnt leave you for johnny depp

Until very recently, I thought that you could only feel real, proper love for a girlfriend. Y'know, that the sexual aspect of it was an integral part and couldn't be separated. It's what all my experiences had taught me; I've had some amazing friends, truly amazing, but none had made me feel the same way as the only girlfriend I was in love with. That rush every time you see them, having them pop into your head at random times and having that make you smile and feel happy, that painful feeling in the heart when you have to walk away from them. But it turns out you can feel just like that for a best friend. This all came out last night, so I'm on a bit of a high right now. Love is more complicated than I thought. And it's great.

<3

EDIT: You do know when you're in love, you just know. The words have been cheapened so much in our society now--I really hate how overused it is--but when it really hits you, you'll know. It can't be explained; I know it's a frustrating answer, sorry.

Oh, and I'm 17. With my first serious girlfriend, we'd known each other for maybe two years before we figured out how we felt, it just sort of happened. With the friend mentioned above, it took maybe three or four months, I'm not sure exactly. Again, just happened.

[This message has been edited by Mr.Happy (edited 10-15-2006).]

quote:Originally posted by Mr.Happy:

But it turns out you can feel just like that for a best friend. <3

So true, so very very true!!!

quote:Originally posted by Mindless Xyzzyean:

perhaps something that no teenager my age can possibly feel.

Asif.

I hate saying it to loads of people, mainly people older than me, but I really do love someone. My most recent boyfriend. I've known him years and he really amazes me and I can't bear the thought of never talking to him again.

Either way, I love him and I can't see why just because you're young you can't feel love.

That's ridiculous.

I really hate when people say teenagers aren't capable of love. Granted, most of them can't. Most teenagers have the emotional intelligence of rocks. But it is possible to be in love at any age, so don't buy into that garbage.

And the closest I could get to describing love...it's like this attachment where you feel like they are a part of you that you couldn't live without. When you realize you're in love it makes you feel like your life up until that point has all just been practice. Life begins when you fall in love.

quote:Originally posted by Silverfuck:

Life begins when you fall in love.

very true, and to the OP i know it's not the answer you wanted but you'll just know when you're in love, the feeling can't really be explained that well even after you've felt it....you'll know when the time comes, if it hasn't already.

The way most of you have described it, sounds a lot like how I feel. Probably sounds pathetic i'm seeking guidance from the internet. But, the emotions that I have seem indescribable and she definately feels like a part of me and something that I couldn't live without.

I have to go three days without seeing her and I swear its going to be the hardest thing i've ever done, i'm going to be a wreck tommorrow night, I can just tell.

Anyway, thanks again people of S&A.

quote:Originally posted by Mindless Xyzzyean:

The way most of you have described it, sounds a lot like how I feel. Probably sounds pathetic i'm seeking guidance from the internet. But, the emotions that I have seem indescribable and she definately feels like a part of me and something that I couldn't live without.

I have to go three days without seeing her and I swear its going to be the hardest thing i've ever done, i'm going to be a wreck tommorrow night, I can just tell.

Anyway, thanks again people of S&A.

^be careful not to confuse love with desperation.

I'm in a bit of confusing about this as well. Let me explain.

WARNING: CHEESINESS AHEAD

Men, the broken hearted and particularly butch women are not advised to read

With my current gf...we connected so well, she reacted to things just so perfectly, made me feel so special. She just done all the right little things as if she were made for me to make me feel great. And...I was like breathing heaps, it made me dizzy, and I was speechless and I couldn't comprehend it, I didn't know what to say...

that's what I call love. But then...there's so many different definitions for it...is that what other people call love?

[This message has been edited by rabbitweed (edited 10-16-2006).]

You see why i'm hesitant to call it love though?

I don't love. I can't. There is not a person on the face of the Earth who I can say with all honesty that I "love". I don't really see a problem. "Love" is chemical. "Love" is sensory perception. It comes, it goes. Love is not constant. Love is a crock.



CaspeR

quote:Originally posted by rabbitweed:

that's what I call love. But then...there's so many different definitions for it...is that what other people call love?

That is a part of love, but it is not (of course) the whole of it.

It's not that love is defined differently, it's the division and defining of certain aspects of love as one begins to discover it in oneself. The further you travel into it, the more broad the understanding of it is. (and what it isn't)

well im 16 and been in a relationship with my coyfriend who is 18 for almost 8 months. and we truely love eachother. im sure my boyfriend can relate to you when you said that you want to wait to say "i love you" and thats what he did.. but for me i knew that i loved him just by the way he makes me feel. he makes me feel all warm and fuzzy and like there is no other place in this world i would rather be. which is true. know when he was ready to say i love you it was two months into the relationship and we were out side when he pulled me aside and asked me what i love you meant. the question took me by suprise and i didnt know what to say... then he explain his meaning to me and its like we both knew how the feeling was.

this is what his said:

"i love you is a feeling of eternal happiness that no one can make you change your mind about, its about being with one person forever. knowing that you changed my life around and made it the best it could be. it makes me realize that there is nothing for me if your not there with me. thats what i love you means to me. and i do love you"

there is no words big enough to discribe how i felt when he said that, and how i still feel to this day about what he said. if there was a word out there bigger or more powerful then love that would be the word i would use.

so love can be what ever you want it to mean to you.. you have to as a person have a understanding of what you are looking for and what kind of person you looking for to love. because yes there are lots of those relationships that are just lust and ive been in a relatioship like that and eventually when your not blind anymore you realize what a helpful mistake you made.

I disagree that there aren't many definitions of love.

I think there are many definitions of love. And some pertain to some relationships in a person's life and others pertain to other relationships.

Like, I don't even think you have to be that serious with a person in order to 'love' them. I think you can see someone on the subway and know that you love them and that you've always loved them and that you will always love them even if you're never going to see them again. I guess, for some people it's a connection that's grown up after many times of contact and I think that, too, can be a form of love. But for me, it's just a strong connection. Almost like if we all had little life strings that had branches that connect at different times with other people's life strings. The connections that are strong are the ones where there's love. I think you can love friends; I think you can love family (although for some cases, I think that's a different form of love, where you love someone because they give you the physical commodities that you need and keep your body alive and sheltered); I think you can love inanimate objects; I think you can love ideas.

The phrase that I hate the most is 'love lasts forever'. Love lasts just as long as everything else does. You die; some people think everything that your life held is over (besides whatever connections you've made and actions you've done that have changed the world); some people think that everything, past, present, and future are all still alive. As one. In that case, love is forever, just as that burp you just made is forever.

This is a silly thread.

^ You're just bitter and twisted, it's a lovely thread.

right now i'm thinking love is crap. Me and my girlfriend are so deeply in love yet she was going to break up with me because of her religion....now she's back with the backup plan of if we ever break up again, we'll become friends with benefits...that's love for ya.

girls in their teens with much older boyfriends: your boyfriend only wants sex

quote:Originally posted by jvm222:

girls in their teens with much older boyfriends: your boyfriend only wants sex



I was/am the older boyfriend in one of those relationships. It didnt start out as just sex, but I quickly came to realize that she was just too young for a serious relationship, and it eventually dwindled down to a more physical connection.

Case in point. You're right.