Well for those of you who posted in my old thread you know the plot. Anyway, today was day #2 of sobriety for me in a few years. Felt ill the whole day and was very irritable, and got confused a lot.

So girlfriend gives me a call. Says she wants to talk. So I meet her. We walk and sort of talk for a bit. Then she turns suddenly, hugs me so hard, and says she misses me so much.

At that point I feel violently ill, from withdrawl and this sudden epiphany of hers. I manage to not vomit, but feel very light headed and have to sit down right then, which happened to be the middle of a yard.

She asks whats wrong as she tries to help me up. I tell her I miss her too but I don't know when believe what she says anymore. She gets really upset then. I tell her, "Yes, I am a bit of a fuck up. But I've accepted that, and try not to let it ruin my life. I embrass it instead of letting it drag me down. Its better to know who I am than to try and lie to myself."

She then says that she didn't realize how much she needed me until I was gone. She then asks why am I acting so weird. I tell her its from withdrawl. She starts crying. She tells me she didn't know it would be this bad for me.

When I woke up someone told me I was in a hospital. Apparently I passed out or blacked out or something and begain having fits/a seizure.

I'm back home now, my parents' house instead of my apartment. I'm under watch now, and my parents are checking up on me almost every 30 minutes.

My mom is a nurse and is constantly checking on me while she is home. Its a bit ridiculous, but she says it needs to be done. I feel like something has been ripped from me, like some part of me is missing or something.

Sorry for the long rant, but I'm a bit messed right now.

Its not a rant its an outlet , i wanted to reply as i know its pretty horrible thinking no-one can hear you .

I am not sure how to give you comforts through my words . I can only tell you things that other people have probably already told you ,

I really respect anybody who works hard to sober up ,

Good men survive through thier soul alone , thats the only thing that has ever helped me whenever i felt shit

Congrats on the sobriety, and keep it up.

For right now... maybe you should cut yourself of from the lady friend. It sounds unhealthy, and it's not going to make anything easier. If she cares about you as much as she says, she'll give you space.

MY HEAD IS CAVING IN!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHH!

Maybe you should lie down man. And good job with the no smoking/no drinking. Next you'll be... Not swearing! :O!

The fitting sounds pretty extreme, but I didn't read your first part. Are there any possible chances of sever SAD (Social Anxiety Disorder)? Doesn't explain the fitting but does the sickness. How open is your relationship, with one and another?

I can't lie down. Thats when it is the worst. I'm trying to keep myself distracted and so far TOTSE is the only cure. Pretty fucking lame when TOTSE is the cure for something./

Its not SAD. Its just this alcoholism thing. Thanks for the concern, but I know its this. I have no problem with being judged or such by others. Its just this current situation is fucking with me, and isn't being helped by withdrawl fuck symptoms.

Well I would read this, but you page stretched your own thread. GTFO.

Yeah ok I'll go off myself because I stretched my own thread. GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY THREAD!

^ It's a decent read ^

And Paul, what do you mean something is missing? Is it like the physical thing of addiction or an emotional connection to your GF?

I don't know what it is. If I had to say it would be addiction because it like I feel like there is no substance or being left in me. But that could also go the emotional/girlfriend way. So I don't know for sure.

[This message has been edited by Paul Kemp (edited 10-14-2006).]

Hey firekitty751 we should hang out sometime. I live in Columbus as well. Maybe we could kick it sometime.

quote:Originally posted by Paul Kemp:

I don't know what it is. If I had to say it would be addiction because it like I feel like there is no substance or being left in me. But that could also go the emotional/girlfriend way. So I don't know for sure.



K, so what is your plan in life now? Lets say by tomorrow you feel great, what will you do.