Well anyway, I don't know if anyone remembers my post from earlier about this, but there has been some new events.

My girlfriend of 2 years decided we need a break after she got upset over my smoking of cigarettes. I said ok and I would try to stop. And it wasn't only for her because I know I need to stop and I was thinking, "Maybe this extreme situation here is what I need to push into quitting."

So I have stopped smoking. Been smoke free for a week now and no problems actually.

So today she calls me to see if I want to go to dinner. Fuck yeah I do. So I go and meet her, feeling like a new man the whole way not needing to light up.

So I get there, and she seems a bit distant but nothing too bad. We get to the place and are sort of standing around for a bit just talking some.

I ask if she is going to come do laundry at my place tonight because she usually does on Thursday night. She says no, she is going to her brother's place to do laundry. So I say, "So I guess I don't get to see you tonight." And sort of walk away.

At this point I am near on tears because 1) I am accustomed to her coming by tonight to do laundry and we spend the whole night talking and such and having fun. 2) I have made a concious effort to clean up a bit for her and shes not respecting that [I had told her that I hadn't smoked in a week].

Alright granted I know a week isn't that long but for someone like me who smoked everyday, almost a pack and a half a day, for a year and several months, this IS a big deal.

So I talk to her later at her place a bit. I tell her I am hurting and that I miss her. That I have been in physical and mental pain for a week now, but holding out for her because I love her so much.

A little back story, when she said she wanted to take a break she told me not to call her untill I had dropped smoking. This hurt a lot but I respeced her wish.

So today, I tell her I'm ready to have her back and I want her back. She then tells me she wants me to change first. I ask (very shocked and skeptically) "How?" She tells me she wants me to stop drinking so much.

Yes I am an alcoholic, have been since 8th grade (Drank at least a 12 pack of beer or a fifth of liquor almost everyday since then). But I am a functioning alcoholic. My grades in college are good and I get everything I need to done.

This causes a problem for me though. Because one, I could actually die from the withdrawl of alcoholism (I get delirium tremen after a couple days without drinking). And two this is starting to make me feel uncomfortable in the amount she wants to change me. Granted she is trying to change my BAD habits but still, its not like they are choices I made unknowing they were bad for me.

Anyway, sometimes I feel like she is trying to change me too much. Hell, she gets mad when I curse too much sometimes. And I've had friends and even she said she had friends who were telling her she was trying to change me too much.

So I turn to the people of TOTSE for final hope. What do you guys think?

If this is another one of those "Change, and don't call me till you have" things, drop her, now.

But if this is a "I want you to stop drinking so much, and I'll be at your side, helping you through it the whole way" type of thing, then maybe you should consider it.

Yeah, it's like she wants to change you, but she doesn't want to have to deal with you during the change.

I know when I've tried to quit cigarettes in the past I've become morbidly depressed (but that's more psychological), and I'd assume that it's as bad, if not worse, for alcohol.

*sigh* I feel for you mate.

The biggest problem is that she is some what of a "good girl." Like she had never drank alcohol before she met me or had sex. But she always said she was seeing "What she was missing out on." When she was with me. The problem being, and I have told her this before is she has no idea what it is like trying to drop an addiction and she always throws back the, "Well if I'm worth it to you it shouldn't be a problem."

*sighs*

Hmmm. I could go both ways on this. Yes, your habits are a problem (delerium after a few days without drinking? you sir, need rehab, seriously) although she shouldn't be giving you ultimatums if she loves you. If she wants you to quit, she should help you, not just walk away and leave you to suffer in withdrawl on your own.

I say walk away from her, man. Get your shit straightened out, (get that drinking thing taken care of dude, really) and then one day you'll see her, and she'll come running back and you'll just laugh. Ultimatums are bullshit. Don't take that shit dude.

I just got out of a relationship where i had to change for her... Although you do need to get your drinking under control, dont do it for her.

I can tell from reading this the only reason she wants you to stop smoking, and now stop drinking is because she wants to see how much you care. Its not about your own good, but because she is an insecure bitch who needs you to change your life so she feels loved.

Drop her, then get the drinking under control... But not for her