Or do they just delay the inevitable? Has anyone ever taken a "break" in a relationship only to have it work out in the end? Or is it just a half-assed way of saying "I wanna break up with you, but keep you around just in case I just my mind in a few days?"

I have a dilemna. See here http://www.totse.com/bbs/Forum4/HTML/024171.html for the details. Thank ya!

Well, my girlfriend and i did take a short break once... After the second of the three major arguments we had. Basically, she said she needed some space, and time to think about things. So, i had no choice, it wasn't like i could hold her in the relationship.

It turned out that she was even unhappier while we were "taking a break" then as a result of our argument. So we got back together, made up, and we're even stronger for it now.

Now, the way i see it, there's one major thing that is needed in order for "taking a break" to actually work. One of the two people needs to play the faithful puppy dog, and do nothing else but sit there and wait for your partner to come back to you. Sure, it hurts like hell, and no, it's not fair. but if you both go off with other people, i guarantee that 99% of the time you won't end up getting back together. I'm not saying that my way will work, either. A few things to remember, if you do want to try waiting for him to come back to you - Cut all contact with him, and make yourself unavailable. people want what they can't have, and if you still talk to him/hang out with him while you're taking a break, he won't even feel the need to be with you. you need to make him want you back, and to do that you have to barely even talk to him, and appear disinterested. At the same time, you need to make sure he knows that you're hurt by him going around with other women, and that you would get back together with him. it's best if you let him know this as soon as possible, so you can begin ignoring him until he comes back to you.

I hope that helped, in my situation it was my girlfriend who wanted a break, not me, so that might change things a bit. either way, i really do hope you work things out, it hurts like hell when your s/o acts like they don't want you.

Ugh. That made it sound so bad. "Faithful puppy dog" and "ignoring him until he comes back to you..." Grrrrrrrreat. Now I really don't know what to do.

If he wants to take a break to "explore his options" then you're fucked.

If he has no intentions of hooking up with other girls, you should be fine. If you don't want to endanger the relationship... play the faithful puppy dog part. It sucks, but if you think he's worth it that's just what you'll have to do.

quote:Originally posted by firekitty751:

If he wants to take a break to "explore his options" then you're fucked.

If he has no intentions of hooking up with other girls, you should be fine. If you don't want to endanger the relationship... play the faithful puppy dog part. It sucks, but if you think he's worth it that's just what you'll have to do.

I'm the one that wants to take a break. He'd be the "faithful puppy," I've no doubt about that. However, I don't want to "explore my options" I just need some time alone.

You might not like what I have to say, but I feel it's needed here.

Your current boyfriend unfortunately has the right to be angry. You really shouldn't be hanging out with your ex's.



Perhaps you are not quite over your ex(s). But you really shouldn't be hanging out with your ex(s), they are EX's for a reason.

I have been on a break...it was a month 1/2 long one. When we got back together things were perfect for the next year...then he went to college and did a 360.

when i went off to college (which is 6 hours from where i live), i took a break with my gf. we still talked and planned on hooking up again. then we don't talk for a week, and i find out she's dating a friend of mine. bitch move on her part, dick move on his. personally. i wouldn't reccomend it, but if you can see each otehr every once in a while or you really want the relationship to work, then try it. good luck.

Eh, it can go either way. Remember how many bitch and moan threads I'd make about Amanda? Well yeah, we broke up. But got back together 3-4 weeks later (technically, it was just a break then, right?).

Any way, in the break, we both saw other people. We both got unusually fucked up. Other people didn't do it for us, we felt empty. It made us realise how much we wanted each other. Then, when we saw each other after the break, it was fucking amazing. Total admiration of each other. We just...adored each other. It was awesome. We found our sparks again, and more so than ever before.

Now things are perfect, no more bitching.

Buuuut....it can go the EXACT opposite way as well: he could realise how much he likes being away from you/being with other people.

But in response to your question: yes, breaks can work.

[This message has been edited by arquin (edited 10-13-2006).]

quote:Originally posted by Demoiselle:

I'm the one that wants to take a break. He'd be the "faithful puppy," I've no doubt about that. However, I don't want to "explore my options" I just need some time alone.

Well, if you really need some time alone, then take it. just know that it's going to make him feel like complete shit.