Why do so many young couples like to talk about the future like it will involve their partner? Sure, having a little faith helps, but a little faith should mean thinking you're still together at the end of the month.

You're just setting your self up for failure.

Take things a day at a time. For the first time ever, I've made 'plans'. And they're for mid November, and possibly January. And it's making me feel like I'm taking this waaay to seriously.

Or maybe it's because you're all so stable. But if a girl ever included me in an idea that was say...a year in the future, I'd freak out, and back away.

So, do you talk to your partner like you'll be together in years to come?

I often say things like "After Christmans, if we still talk to each other, we'll do *inesrt something*", and that's a big thing for me.

[This message has been edited by arquin (edited 10-11-2006).]

Every girl I've been with got real pissy if i didnt talk about the future with them in like a couple of years. They said it was like I didnt have any faith in the relationship. Damn nazis :P

I like talking about the future, only if i have a stable and positive relationship though, i like the stability of it really

Heh, we talk about stuff we'll do like 15 years from now!

me and ol' girl always discuss what we're doing with our lives down the road. we both are getting tired and restless of living here so in a couple of years we're going to go for a road trip and move to a random city.

i've known her for 3 years as a CLOSE friend prior to dating, so we're extremely comfortable with one another. i can honestly say that there isn't a soul out there can understands me like she does (and vice versa), so maybe that's why we've got no problem with commitment.

My boy and I are talking about spending the rest of our lives together, and we're both 17 and been together for 4 months now. Sure, it's unlikely we'll ACTUALLY spend the rest of our lives together, but I think it's a comforting thought for now, since at the moment we get along so well, and neither of us want this to end.

It's not always like this though. One of my ex's spoke of marriage and it scared the hell out of me.

quote:Originally posted by 556:

me and ol' girl always discuss what we're doing with our lives down the road. we both are getting tired and restless of living here so in a couple of years we're going to go for a road trip and move to a random city.

i've known her for 3 years as a CLOSE friend prior to dating, so we're extremely comfortable with one another. i can honestly say that there isn't a soul out there can understands me like she does (and vice versa), so maybe that's why we've got no problem with commitment.

But why does the future need to be spoken about, or thought about? Aren't you both happy enough in the now?

quote:Originally posted by arquin:

I often say things like "After Christmans, if we still talk to each other, we'll do *inesrt something*", and that's a big thing for me.



Personally I enjoy making plans that include the phrase "insert something".

And I like it even better when she says "it's a big thing for me".

[This message has been edited by fullcircle (edited 10-11-2006).]

quote:Originally posted by fullcircle:



Personally I enjoy making plans that involve the term "insert something".

And I like it even better when she says "it's a big thing for me".

Haha, I lol'd .

^^lol

Me and my boyfriend talk about the future, simply because it feels natural. We're going to Hawaii together in February. We also talk about how he's going to move to the same city as me (a place he fucking hates, lol), which I assume he wouldn't do unless he thought this relationship was serious.

Do you not plan for anything in the future? If you do then why would that be any different than planning something with someone else be it a business venture with a friend or a relationship with a partner?

People live in the now, but are capable of making plans for the future. I think they go hand in hand.

Well, we've made plans, but they aren't set in stone. We discuss things we'd really LIKE to do in the future, but we're not writing it down in ink, or carving it into stone.

Heh, i got a kick out of this. Just a couple days ago, i felt my cellphone vibrate, opened it, and read the following message from my girlfriend -

"We are getting married august 5th, 2013"

I have a strong feeling that this would scare the living shit out of most people, but it made my day like nothing else. We have known for roughly half a year now that we would like to get married, but wanted to wait until we're through with college and better able to support ourselves.

I'm not quite sure what it is, but neither her or myself really wanted anything to do with all of the drama and bullshit involved with regular high school relationships, we'd both had our fair share. So i guess it was only natural that our relationship would be much more serious. Meh, i kind of like the idea of it, too. *Sighs in a way that only a hopeless romantic is capable of*

quote:Originally posted by fullcircle:



Personally I enjoy making plans that include the phrase "insert something".

And I like it even better when she says "it's a big thing for me".





congratulations, you got modded. Couldn't have happened to anyone more deserving.

taking each day as it comes sounds like the best option. i like arquin's way of thinking.

quote:Originally posted by oc6:

Do you not plan for anything in the future? If you do then why would that be any different than planning something with someone else be it a business venture with a friend or a relationship with a partner?

People live in the now, but are capable of making plans for the future. I think they go hand in hand.

Eh...I suppose you're right. This is the first time I've had set plans for the future. It's pretty cool. But spontinuity is cooler.

Always in the past, I've had basic ideas of what I want to do. Then I'll save up for those ideas. Then BAM! Out of nowhere I'll have one big crazy week end and spend like $500 in the period of 48 hours. Then my ideas fall to shit.

But even with relationships, I like this girl as much as I could like any girl. But I still don't see her in my future. See, most people are blinded by naivety. I can realistically assume things wont work out. So why get my hopes up? If they work out, awesome, if not, meh. We still have some wicked experiences together in the meantime.

Also, how could you ever marry some one until you've dated ATLEAST 100 people? How can you know it's 'just right'? You're full of shit, that's what. You've just settled for the first thing that involves clear sailing and loyalty. I hate clear sailing. When things go too well, something's wrong.

100 people?? Are you crazy???

My husband and I had only dated one other person each before we got together...And we're made for each other. I didn't need to date as bunch of guys to know that he is the right one for me. In fact, I count myself lucky that I met him early so I didn't have to have the hassle of dating a bunch of people before I found him.

Me and my boyfriend have been together for 11 months tomorrow

(Friday the 13th )

But we've been talking about the future for a while

even though I'm only 15

:/ it is actually just comforting

there's a huge chance it won't happen even though I really like him

quote:Originally posted by arquin:

Why do so many young couples like to talk about the future like it will involve their partner? Sure, having a little faith helps, but a little faith should mean thinking you're still together at the end of the month.

You're just setting your self up for failure.

Take things a day at a time. For the first time ever, I've made 'plans'. And they're for mid November, and possibly January. And it's making me feel like I'm taking this waaay to seriously.

Or maybe it's because you're all so stable. But if a girl ever included me in an idea that was say...a year in the future, I'd freak out, and back away.

So, do you talk to your partner like you'll be together in years to come?

I often say things like "After Christmans, if we still talk to each other, we'll do *inesrt something*", and that's a big thing for me.





My relationship is so far, one year and a bit.

We some times talk about the future. Mostly we don't really look at it. Don't care as long as the other one is in it.

quote:Originally posted by Sick_Boy:

Me and my boyfriend talk about the future, simply because it feels natural. We're going to Hawaii together in February. We also talk about how he's going to move to the same city as me (a place he fucking hates, lol), which I assume he wouldn't do unless he thought this relationship was serious.

Tell him to find a new job when he gets there. Painting gives people brain damage.

quote:Originally posted by arquin:

Also, how could you ever marry some one until you've dated ATLEAST 100 people? How can you know it's 'just right'? You're full of shit, that's what. You've just settled for the first thing that involves clear sailing and loyalty. I hate clear sailing. When things go too well, something's wrong.

There is nothing wrong with dating a lot of people before finding someone to settle down with.

You might also think of it as "You've just settled for the last thing that involves clear sailing and loyalty" after dating a lot of people.

The thing is, some people think they are ready for that sort of thing earlier in their lives than other people, for whatever reason. It sounds like it's just not the thing for you right now.

Making plans kind of bit me in the ass.

My relationship was good, We got plane tickets to spain in the summer(after dating a year), by the time 3 months more had passed, and we ended up going on the trip, we were fighting daily(multiple times). I faught to keep the relationship going for a thousand dollar plane ticket. In my gut I knew it wouldn't last before I even made the plans.. but you can always hope.

quote:Originally posted by Xiao Mei:

100 people?? Are you crazy???

My husband and I had only dated one other person each before we got together...And we're made for each other. I didn't need to date as bunch of guys to know that he is the right one for me. In fact, I count myself lucky that I met him early so I didn't have to have the hassle of dating a bunch of people before I found him.

If you're happy with someone, you're happy with something. I don't believe in "true love", but I believe you can get close enough not to make a difference.

My gf and i talk about the future all the time, but i'm more realistic i understand that its unlikely that we'll actually be together forever, especially since we'll both probably end up marrying men, but we still do it, it makes you feel nice that you can both lie about somethign together i guess. I think we'll be friends forever though, which is what we talk about alot, that could happen, Dont be so pessimistic.

A few days ago we were talking about all the weekend snowboarding trips we were going to go on over the winter. And now, I don't even know if we'll be together tomorrow. Bah.

hmm...I try not to talk about anything stupidly far into the future. Just what both of us can reasonably imagine. Unless we're just being stupid...

My gf talks about 'when were married' and 'when we have kids'..

I dont give a fuck when she does, I think its cute. Anybody who gets scared off is a dickhead, its a compliment so treat it like one it doesnt mean your gonna end up like your parents or something.

If it doesnt happen it wasn't meant to, if it does, it was. I won't make the wrong decision when it comes time.

Oh yeah and Arquin you usually have some pearls of wisdom but you are so fucking wrong.

Talking about the future is setting yourself up for failure? What the fuck is that all about?? That is pessimism in its most desperate, sad, lonely and pathetic state. Talk about lack of control.. Usually that is actually planned will happen. Your talking about the difference between planning things like a person worth respecting and hoping for things like a born loser.

quote:Originally posted by Garfunkel:



congratulations, you got modded. Couldn't have happened to anyone more deserving.

taking each day as it comes sounds like the best option. i like arquin's way of thinking.



Remove your tongue from da asshole bitch boy!

Arquin's idea is nothing new, couples dicussing what they could of been, not what they are, and that is broken up.

Good example of this is my friend's girl used to talk about them moving in, how they are going to get married, how she loves him, they'll be together forever.

BAM! Bitch cheats and they break up. Bitches man...

Don't you wish you could just insert balls on them so you could kick em'?

I dont think its so ridiculous to talk about the future

Been goin out for a year now, so I do go... if we're still going out, but like we make significant plans sorta, or come up with the ideas

Like where we're gonna go in the summer and shit like that

Hell at like 4 months we made plans in like jan or feb to go to france in the summer and then we did

I think you just know eh