My friend james is 23 years old, will be 24 in june and is beating himself up cause he is still a virgin. I have told him its not that big of a deal and when it happens is when its meant to happen, but still he feels like shit and thinks people are judging him. He is also quite shy with women because an abuse childhood left him very guarded. What advice can I give him so he feels better about this?

Well, considering you're his friend, I'm sure he's successful socially. If it's an anxiety issue, I guess all I have is the time honored, generic advice : relax, be yourself.

It's nice to see that you're supportive of your friend, instead of making fun of him about it. Your advice is probably the best you can give him right now. It will happen when it happens.

He feels like theres some social stigma attatched to being a virgin, i personally think hes beating himself up too much and worrying too much and because of this he is unconfident

If you're really his freind, you'd take his virginity.

take a female friend you really really trust.

have her be somebody who is known as a "really nice person" but not so much outgoing.it'll also help if she is calm, understanding, and isn't a wild tiger.

best thing you can do for your friend is to find someone like that, and is also a virgin.

so both of them could be virgins together.

note: make sure she has simular interests as your friend.if he's a shy guy he'd need lots to talk about.

hang out "together" and see if theres an attraction.

if there isn't....well, try to make it happen.

if people start spending enough time with each other it is bound to happen.

and if they start dating, well....goodbye virginity.

quote:Originally posted by SilentMind:

If you're really his freind, you'd take his virginity.

quote:Originally posted by lightsxandxsirens:

best thing you can do for your friend is to find someone like that, and is also a virgin.

LOL... Where the hell do you live!?

Female virgins above the age of 16? lol... now I've heard everything.

quote:Originally posted by gadzooks:

LOL... Where the hell do you live!?

Female virgins above the age of 16? lol... now I've heard everything.

well, hypothetically speaking you get "ugly ducklings".

they look like crap in high school, but once they graduate they bloom into really really hot chicks, no one knows why, but it does happen. i think they do it through self motivation. they are virgins, and even if they do turn hot, inside they're still them geekies.

they are timid, and underestimate themselves, are shy, and wouldn't get any action.

but these cases are rare...good luck finding one, thread starter.

Just because he's a virgin doesn't mean she has to be one.

quote:Originally posted by Aseren:

Just because he's a virgin doesn't mean she has to be one.



No, but it tends to make things more comfortable. It was a really big point with me. I wanted my first time to be her first time too. I valued my virginity somewhat, and I didnt want my first time to be just another fuck for her. Thats probably why I didnt lose my virginity until I was 21, but when I did, she was a virgin too. So no regrets.

I suppose, I could see why you think like that, guess it depends on the person.

quote:Originally posted by gadzooks:

LOL... Where the hell do you live!?

Female virgins above the age of 16? lol... now I've heard everything.

My friend Liza didn't have sex until she was 22 and she is a BEAUTIFUL woman. She had just never found the right guy before then. *shrugs*

Escort/hooker.

quote:Originally posted by SilentMind:

If you're really his freind, you'd take his virginity.

I think you're totally refferring to yourself, but that's just me.

quote:Originally posted by AeroDynamic:

Escort/hooker.

Yeah but don't give him a choice. For his birthday invite a hooker without STD's over and pay her in advance. Then tell your friend you got him a hooker, make them go in the bedroom and say "I'll leave you guys alone" then go.

Your friend will thank you the next day.

quote:Originally posted by reggie_love:

I think you're totally refferring to yourself, but that's just me.

quote:Originally posted by SilentMind:



I wanted my first time to be her first time too. I valued my virginity somewhat, and I didnt want my first time to be just another

"you are putting the pussy up on a pedestal"

+1



/Thread.

you have the same name as your friend

quote:Originally posted by JamesK:

My friend james is 23 years old

You slipped up there.

quote:Originally posted by JamesK:

I am 23 years old, will be 24 in june and im beating myself up cause im still a virgin. My friends tell me its not that big of a deal and when it happens is when its meant to happen, but still I feel like shit and think people are judging me. Im also quite shy with women because an abuse childhood left me very guarded. How can I feel better about this?





[This message has been edited by Rem (edited 10-08-2006).]

quote:Originally posted by JamesK:

I like theres some social stigma attatched to being a virgin, Im beating myself up too much and worrying too much and because of this I am unconfident

quote:Originally posted by JamesK:

My friend james is 23 years old, will be 24 in june and is beating himself up cause he is still a virgin. I have told him its not that big of a deal and when it happens is when its meant to happen, but still he feels like shit and thinks people are judging him. He is also quite shy with women because an abuse childhood left him very guarded. What advice can I give him so he feels better about this?

That's really sad.

It's like there's so much pressure to be shexxing from like the age of 12, anyone older than that who hasnt yet fucked feels like a reject.

There's nothing really wrong with being a virgin at 23. Goddamnit, it's better than just jumping into bed with the first wench that comes along.

Out of interest, whereabouts in england is this guy, and does he play MTG?

Wait, yoyobek, if I claimed to be a virgin and could somehow get down to where you live would you thexxth me?

I like Magic and D.J. Tiesto!

go gay wit him.

Thank you all for the advice, and just to clear things up, this james is not me, his name is james smith and we have been friends since primary school, oh and as im a bloke I certainly wont be taking his virginity. He lives in cambridge now cause he moved there for work but still comes to birmingham for free houses etc. I have forwarded this page to him so hopefully any advice give here will help him.

I like the idea of the hooker tho, and him still being a virgin does have a plus side, at least he doesnt have to worry about STD's

[This message has been edited by JamesK (edited 10-08-2006).]

quote:Originally posted by JamesK:



I like the idea of the hooker tho, and on a plus side, at least he doesnt have to worry about STD's

Ya lost me there.

quote:Originally posted by SilentMind:

If you're really his freind, you'd take his virginity.





hahahaahaha that was funny shit.

Your friends name is james and your username is james

huh???

quote:Originally posted by AeroDynamic:

Escort/hooker.

Rather take a classy escort for his birthday, average hookers are cheaper but they are ok only if you're already used to take it easy with them, otherwise it's not a good idea.

let me clear this up, my username is james k because my first name is james. My friends name is also james but he doesnt have the same surname or parents etc etc etc can i be any clearer? we are two seperate people, why do people think it wierd to have a friend with the same name as you?

quote:Originally posted by JamesK:

let me clear this up, my username is james k because my first name is james. My friends name is also james but he doesnt have the same surname or parents etc etc etc can i be any clearer? we are two seperate people, why do people think it wierd to have a friend with the same name as you?

If its any concelation, i believe ya mate. APPARANTLY all names can only be used once in the same group of people is what i can gather from this lot. Seriously, you just being there for him is the best thing you can do. Find out exactly why he hasnt lost it, and respect him from that. If from that you figure out a hooker is a good idea go for it. Mind you if someone did that to me, theyed be in A+E with most interesting injuies, i assure you.

Dont get me wrong I like the idea, just dont think he'd go for it, but its funny all the same

Well generally what happens is one person gets another version of the same name within a group. e.g. one of you should be refered to as Jamie, or by surnames. That's what we do.

Yeah i dont like being called jamie tho

You could alway go with jimany. Unless, ofcourse, if I were to meet you. Then I would have to kill you.

You could both shut up and just get your friend a fat drunk chick.

get one for your self while your there.

Heh, that's not so bad. I'm not going to lose mine until i'm 24, seeing as my girlfriend has decided that she wants to wait until we're married.

But i'm guessing that he doesn't have obligations that are preventing him from going out and getting laid... so i suggest you take him to a party/bar, meet some women, and get him shitfaced.