Ohh, today.

Started out decent. Got worse. Got much better, stayed the same, got horrible.

I hate that I have this terrible habit of wanting things I can't have. I'm not even sure if I want them because I can't have them, but honestly it's starting to look this way.

This is the same boy I said I was attracted to, but I might have given off an "I'm not interested" vibe. He came into town again this weekend, unexpectedly. He came to sit where he knew I'd be, and it's not like there wasn't room upstairs. Then he hardly spoke to me, although I was in excited conversation with my other friends, so that might be why. And he looked super tired.

He acts all excited and somewhat interested, then just backs off. I'm pretty sure he's gay but he doesn't know it yet... but somehow, that's not stopping me. He invited me to hang out a couple times last weekend but I couldn't, so I said something about hanging out this weekend but I don't see that happening. I dunno, this is stupid.

And on the car ride home, I was thinking. Why am I attracted to him? I still like that other guy, but that's clearly not going anywhere.

I don't need anything from guys. It's fun. But I have just as much, if not more fun with my friends, and at work, and just... I dunno. I don't want a relationship, and I don't just want sex. I want something but I'm not sure what...

Why do I want something from this boy if I don't need it? I think it's lingering attracted from this summer. How come when I was taken, he was all about me? I was good, I stayed away. Even now, I'll probably stay away, but still. I can't figure out why I want something I don't want to want. O_o

attention seeker?

Cause you're a female, no one, not even themselves know how they function....

You don't want to want it, but you want it. Accept it. Then take it.

You want him because he gave you attention, and now you want more attention, and you know you can get it from him.

Step one:

Find out what you want.

-1 for heartbreak, poor bugger.

maybe you just want attention. no offence but all women need men to appreciate them, its a daily ego boost they always need. they always want someone to stare at them or lust for them. makes them feel really good. Soryr if this seems to generalise but it seems to be often true.

quote:Originally posted by firekitty751:

I can't figure out why I want something I don't want to want.

I suggest working on your self-control before you hurt anyone.

quote:Originally posted by firekitty751:

How come when I was taken, he was all about me?

It sounds like you're both just as lost. Either that, or he's deliberately fucking with you.

It's not only girls that do that. Some guys do it too.

He just wants you to like him, but he isn't sure if it's worth the effort so make it easy for him - tell him.

Failing that come onto him anyway - prehapse you just want to know what it would have been like?

I think part of the reason I was so attracted to my lawyer was because I knew I couldn't have him. It's the same with my shrink...I know I'll never take the plunge and just jump his bones and that makes our relationship have that much more sexual tension.:P

Men who you know you can't be with are 100X hotter than men who are easy to get.

it's a silly little dance we do in the courtship game, and it's annoying for everyone. you don't want him, you want to prove to yourself you can get him. it's more egocentric than we'd like to believe.

quote:Originally posted by Xiao Mei:

Men who you know you can't be with are 100X hotter than men who are easy to get.

Oh man this reminds me of my master plan that I orchestrated years ago involving a fake girlfriend and all that.

I got so much action and attention during that time...

The only down side is that some people thought I was cheating, when really I wasn't. So I might have a bit of a tarnished reputation, even though I told them all afterward that it was an open relationship

Nah, I figured it out, I think.

My part, at least. I'm attracted to him, but I don't want to be because I don't want to be distracted. So I still don't know what I want, or what I want to do, but I know how I feel so I feel a little better.

I think I'm just going to drop this whole thing, and just see how it goes on it's own. It's not really worth any of the time I've spent thinking about it... which isn't that much... I just really wasn't expecting to see him so soon.

Edit: Ohh, maybe I should clarify: This wasn't the reason I had a bad day yesterday, there were other things that sort of killed it. And of course I want him to be interested in me, whether he gives me attention or not... What girl wouldn't want a gorgeous guy to like her?

[This message has been edited by firekitty751 (edited 10-07-2006).]

^You're calling the guy a homosexual, but you want to be wanted by him?

Sounds like you are turning into an attention whore. You say you don't want what guys got, and you don't want sex.

Yet you love the attention a supposed "attractive" guy gives you. So which is it? You don't want what they got, or are you just trying to make up some lame excuse to play "hard to get" and just piss everyone off?

quote:Originally posted by CarbonB:

^You're calling the guy a homosexual, but you want to be wanted by him?

Sounds like you are turning into an attention whore. You say you don't want what guys got, and you don't want sex.

Yet you love the attention a supposed "attractive" guy gives you. So which is it? You don't want what they got, or are you just trying to make up some lame excuse to play "hard to get" and just piss everyone off?



Well arn't you a barrel of laughs?

Sod off prick face.

Firekitty, do you think he's homosexual only because he doesn't try really hard to fuck you? Well, little secret, not all guys will fuck anything they can get. I sure as fuck won't. Even if I'm physically attracted to a girl, it doesn't mean that I'm going to pursue her. I've been called gay for that, which is totally stupid. What is it that makes you think he's gay?

My take on this is that you're just riled up because you want his attention and you want him to be all into you, but he's not, and you can't figure it out so your ego is being bruised a little bit. That's how it sounds to me. From acting "super tired" and acting interested and then backing off, it sounds to me like something was annoying him. Maybe he wants to get to know you and he's annoyed you're with your friends when he goes to see you. I get annoyed when I want to be alone with someone so I can actually talk with them, but they bring tons of friends along. Maybe he wants to get with you and the opportunity isn't coming along, so he acts tired to cover up his disappointment?

There's a myriad of possibilities here. Most likely you just want his attention. I think that maybe he wants something and he's not getting it so he's acting more reserved. Don't assume he's gay. That's a cop out to protect your ego. I think the best thing to do would be to talk to him, get to know him better, and go out alone with him, if you aren't doing that already. See what's on his mind.

quote:Originally posted by Strakynyar Krongoth:

Sod off prick face.

This is my new favourite phrase!

Jx

HE IS GAY!

Oh wow, now that we got that out of the way.

Move on.

quote:Originally posted by CarbonB:

^You're calling the guy a homosexual, but you want to be wanted by him?

Sounds like you are turning into an attention whore. You say you don't want what guys got, and you don't want sex.

Yet you love the attention a supposed "attractive" guy gives you. So which is it? You don't want what they got, or are you just trying to make up some lame excuse to play "hard to get" and just piss everyone off?

I think it's more that she doesn't realize she wants what 'could be' without wanting what is. Overall, a fruitless deal, being as what she's looking for is already there, she just hasn't seen it yet.

I know the guy in question, and I will just state for the record so you overanalyzers will shut up, that I think he could be gay too. I actually did think he was gay for some time when I first met him until he started talking about girls.

Courting is never a simple thing.

I thought he was gay, then straight, now I think he's gay and just doesn't know it.

He said "Oh pa-sha!" like ten times once during a three hour phone conversation. He's a theatre major. Yes, I think he's gay.

I want him to like me because I like him, simple as that. By saying I don't want anything from him, I'm protecting myself from rejection. I dunno. He invited me to a movie tonight with his friends, and I didn't go. He said he'd call me after, but he didn't. I dunno. And now I'm having issues with another boy, and I'm reverting back to my find a guy, like a guy, get the guy, like a new guy thing. UGH I hate that, I want to not be attracted to anybody.

sorry forgot to add, one toher reason why mena nd women go for each other

men go for women because they generally like pussy

women go for men because generally they want the mans shaft in them....

well thousands of philosophers have thought about love and it comes down to those two statements....

Is curly guys friend gay? the black one? I say YES!

quote:Originally posted by bushy:

Is curly guys friend gay? the black one? I say YES!

He said no. I think so.

But I'm almost sure the other guy in question is gay, most of my friends say so... girls or guys. Not just cause he's not all over me, even if he was I'd think he just doesn't know it yet.