Outcast sent me an article on 'hand holding'. Every girl i have ever been with has liked that shit. Personally it leaves me cold but hell, if it makes them happy...

Anyway reading the article reminded me of a mildly amusing 'jack shoots self in foot' incident:

Walking through some 'rough' area with then g/f holding my right hand/hanging off my right arm (i'm right handed btw).

Her: "I feel so safe and protected when i hold your hand"

Me: "That's nice but you aren't"

Her:"?"

Me: "You aren't safer that way"

Her: "Why?"

Me: "If something happens and you're blocking my right hand..."

Her: "Oh"

Me: " That's why , in the old days, women always walked on a man's left...incase he had to draw his sword"

Her: *Gives me that despairing 'Jack's lecturing' again look*

Me: *blindly walking in where angels fear to tread* "Actually though, when you hold my hand, it's safer for ME"

Her: "?"

Me: *forgets to engage brain before opening mouth* "If there is trouble , then i can 'dolly' you."

Her: "Dolly??"

Me: *doesn't notice the temperature drop* " Sorry , body guard jargon, means i can pull you across my body and use you as a shield"

*ambient temperature suddenly hits -20 and Jack's goose is cooked*





[This message has been edited by jackketch (edited 10-07-2006).]

Did you play it off as a joke? Did she leave you? Did you end up drawing your sword?

So many unanswered questions I need to know!

Holding hands is awesome..in the righ time and place. But when I was walking with my /now/ ex, even we had the sense not to hold hands whilst walking past groups of aggressive drunkards/chavs/ect..

I dont know why, but such people really..really seem to like picking on couples.



Do you get this?

quote:Originally posted by yoyobek:

Holding hands is awesome..in the righ time and place. But when I was walking with my /now/ ex, even we had the sense not to hold hands whilst walking past groups of aggressive drunkards/chavs/ect..

I dont know why, but such people really..really seem to like picking on couples.



Do you get this?





Strangely enough no. I have heard that it is often the case but i guess i just look so fluffy and harmless...

YOu Goddamn English and your rotten fuckin teeth.

I get it!

Stupid town where I live, people are always pointing and calling out etc, I was walking with my girl around the place and suddenly these blokes jumped out of a tree and asked if I wanted to climb with them... keeping in mind i'm only young and they were mid twenties, than after refuting and stuff I was walking away, they started calling out "Oi, is that your girlfriend etc", its annoying.

Another instance, stupid people calling out "Get a room" etc, which is really quite rude! This was coming from a really fat guy with a van full o' kids and a crackwhore looking wife, *shakes fist*, People these days should just adopt an ettiquete (sp?) of not talking to anyone else and merely looking.

quote:Originally posted by SlapinFoFun:

YOu Goddamn English and your rotten fuckin teeth.



Non sequiturs are such fun aren't they, penguin.

It made me laugh, but then it made me jealous because I'm a cowardly and fluffy-looking weakling. I wish I had an intimidating bald head and stuff.

Go on jack... post your pirate pic for a right' ole' laugh.

quote:Originally posted by Twisted_Ferret:

It made me laugh, but then it made me jealous because I'm a cowardly and fluffy-looking weakling. I wish I had an intimidating bald head and stuff.

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!

Thats so cute!

*ruffles Twisted_Ferrets hair, puts in feathers and brightly colored ribbons, grabs his hand and runs off giggling*

i was playing that album at work today =]

quote:Originally posted by Mindless Xyzzyean:

Go on jack... post your pirate pic for a right' ole' laugh.

Your wish is fulfilled (http://tinyurl.com/qropn).

i can't remember who made this...among-the-living or arquin i think.

Hahah, cheers... You've made my day.

I ALWAYS say things without thinking first! And then it always gets me into trouble.

My husband always holds my hand (On topic) and I think it's sweet. I read in a ladies magazine that you can tell a lot about a guy by his hand holding style. According to that, my husband is right on the edge of tearing my clothes off and making "sweaty love with his hot bod.":P

I was never much of a "hand-holder" or even much into public displays of affection. But currently I find myself subconsiously reaching for my girls hand nearly all the time when we are out.

And I dont give two shits who sees. I am even into hugging or putting an arm around her waist and giving her a kiss in public if I want to.

I notice some other younger (and older) couples also holding hands in public and I thinkits great to see.

Wha'? Use her as a shield & shout, 'Sod off, you lot or the girl gets it!'?

For some reason, this thread made me think of that Beatles song.

Then I laughed reading the first post. Jack, you remind me of Bruce Willis in that pic.

Surprising how Jack took Beatles lyrics for a thread of his...His love for scousers is growing!

Anyway, it made me laugh and I'll keep that story in mind.

- Rabb

That made my day. I'm so glad that I'm not the only one to stumble blindly into saying something stupid.

LOL... thanks for the laugh, Jack. That's comedy gold.

quote:Originally posted by moonmeister:

Wha'? Use her as a shield & shout, 'Sod off, you lot or the girl gets it!'?

It's off topic but that reminds me of a joke:

A missionary visits a small Asian island for the first time. Upon landing on the beach he sees a local man leading a donkey,and a woman walking behind them both. The missionary stops the man and enquires why the woman, who was obviously the man's wife always walked several paces behind her husband.

The local replied 'Women are less than men and must always let their husband, their master walk before them!"

The good missionary was incensed and preached many sermons from that day on upon the rights of woman and how all were equal in the eyes of God.

Unfortunately then civil war broke out on the island and the missionary was forced to flee.

The war raged a long time, and devastated the land. It was several years before the missionary could return. But one day, finally, he once again stood on the same beach where he had stood so many years before. To his amazement he saw the same couple walking up the beach. Only this time the wife did not walk behind her man but in front!

Overjoyed the missionary ran to the couple and said 'Oh my children, what a welcome. To see my admonishments have taken seed and now you treat your wives as more than equals! Bless you!"

The man looked at the missionary, slowly shook his head and said "Land mines!

roflsauce

Those wacky asians...

quote:Originally posted by yoyobek:

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!

Thats so cute!

*ruffles Twisted_Ferrets hair, puts in feathers and brightly colored ribbons, grabs his hand and runs off giggling*

That always happens. I'm always cute. I tell them, I says to those wimmenz, "cute is what you call a puppy dog!" But they just giggle some more and say how silly I am.

quote:Originally posted by Twisted_Ferret:

Originally posted by yoyobek:

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!

Thats so cute!

*ruffles Twisted_Ferrets hair, puts in feathers and brightly colored ribbons, grabs his hand and runs off giggling*

That always happens. I'm always cute. I tell them, I says to those wimmenz, "cute is what you call a puppy dog!" But they just giggle some more and say how silly I am.

Tell them you want to be suckled like a li'l baby boy...

quote:Originally posted by yoyobek:

Holding hands is awesome..in the righ time and place. But when I was walking with my /now/ ex, even we had the sense not to hold hands whilst walking past groups of aggressive drunkards/chavs/ect..

I dont know why, but such people really..really seem to like picking on couples.



Do you get this?



They're sad, lonely, and miserable and want you to feel the same way so that their own existence doesn't seem so terrible.

Jakketech thats the most fucked up yet still hilarious shit ive heard in a long itme. OMg thats so fucking bad ass yet so fucked up And i LOVE the joke you todl that shits funny as a mother fucker.

I personally love holding my girls hand ahd she says it make sher feel special when i kiss her hand and all that jazz. Wow IM TORE UP But yea thats pimping at its most "yea if some shit happens i coudl easily use you as a bullet stopper' omg thats great. SOrry im drunk as fuck oh yea biatchs.

quote:Originally posted by yoyobek:

Do you get this?

Where I live you are allowed to keep pistols on yourself without a permit so long as it isn't hidden, so no, I don't know get it.

quote:Originally posted by jackketch:

I wanna hold your haaaand...

I was expecting more appreciation of The Beetles, and I was sorely disappointed

[This message has been edited by Byss (edited 10-08-2006).]

quote:Originally posted by jackketch:

(snip)

AHAHAHAHAHAH that was awesome.