Okay. I'm out of ideas on this one, and so is everyone I've asked. So, I ask totse.

And if this is too long for you to read, I'm probably better off without your input.

And no, there's no sex involved. Anywhere.

It goes like this: I live with my mother. She has multiple sclerosis, has had it for a very long time. Thus, not particularly well. Can't walk very well at all, has to have regular rests, etc.

My father lives here too. He's an alcoholic. They aren't in any sort of relationship anymore (they weren't married to start with). He has never had any steady work, he works on and off as a painter/decorator. I worked it out, and he spends about £100, give or take, on drink per week. He's always sponged off my mother's benefits, and when she won't give him any money he'll steal from her/us.

And all that really isn't on.

My mother has asked him to move out several times. He's always half-arsedly agreed, but never done anything about it. The last deadline she gave him, for the end of last month, passed, and he straight out refused to leave.

What the hell do we do?

I love him, he's my Dad. How do I tell him he has to go. Neither of us want to have a huge family split. We want to stay on good terms. But I don't know if that's going to be possible.

And, unfortunately, murder/suicide is not an option.

Jx

I'd see if the Police can do anything about it.

Tell your dad to go to rehab and if he doesn't clean up his act, threaten to get the police involved.

quote:Originally posted by Sick_Boy:

Tell your dad to go to rehab and if he doesn't clean up his act, threaten to get the police involved.

Rehab is 100% useless unless the individual wants it for THEM. Cleaning up for your family, friends, or any reason other than your SELF does not work.

I would suggest seeing if the cops can move him out for ya. Keep in contact but be solid about him not being allowed back in until he HAS sobered up. Don't let him in just because he says he's GOING to...because he won't. You can trust me on that...I'm a junkie and a drunk myself.

If it becomes too much, get him forcibly evicted (unless his name is on the deeds/tenancy agreement he has no say in whether or not he can stay in the house). Obviously this is a last resort. Rehab wouldn't work unless he wanted it. As I see it there are only two viable options - either your father sort his behaviour out, or the family is split up. Tough choice.

The police won't do anything.

Fuck him in the ass when he passes out drunk.

And tell him you will do it to him awake if he doesnt GTFO.

Thanks for the suggestions.

The police wouldn't do anything.

And rehab isn't an option.

It's more a question of how to physically get him out of the flat.

I spoke to him today though, and apparently he's looking for a place. So yknow. Slowly but surely .

Jx

I was in a similar position, as a teenager.

My father was (still is) a huge alcoholic, and my mother is just quite gullible.. and has just now at ~40 years old gotten a real job to help support us and the house. (Dad used to do it, before alcohol.) She really wanted him out, and begged him for about a year.. problems were occuring for about 3-4 years. Every night was a fight; I kid you not. Every night I would watch my father pour the drinks, and every night I would watch him get violent. (I was younger; now, I just spike it with Seroquel.)

One night, he was real bad, and grabbed a gun. He gave it to me and said, "Son, Don't let me do anything stupid." I looked at him, gave the gun to my little sister, and said, "Sis, don't let ME do anything stupid."

That was it; 15 years old, and my dad realized what was going on. He moved out and ever since it's been an ok situation. We talk occasionally, see eachother once in awhile, and my mom and him are on good standings. He's still an alcoholic, but our lives aren't in danger every night due to alcohol.

Just get your point across, and get it across strongly. You don't even have to do it physically, but remember pal.. This is your MOTHER. This is your physically challenged MOTHER. Don't let her take shit.. c'mon...

U might be fucked. In the USA (i know u dont live here) im pretty sure there is a law about not being able to force someone out of their residence if they have been there acertain amount of time.

Dont know the name of the law or the specifics, but im pretty sure it exists lol. If he doesnt want to move, and he has been living at ur moms house for many years, i think ur pretty much beat.

quote:Originally posted by Jessic:

Thanks for the suggestions.

The police wouldn't do anything.

And rehab isn't an option.

It's more a question of how to physically get him out of the flat.

I spoke to him today though, and apparently he's looking for a place. So yknow. Slowly but surely .

Jx

Ask your council? It depends what borough, but some are really good at finding places for people.