Begging a girl to hang out with you will not make her like you. Neither will offering food, presents, money, anything. It's just annoying. Especially when you ask her about other guys, and she clearly states that she's interested in somebody.

Maybe, if she's interested in somebody else, take a look at what they're doing. They're not calling her or texting her every five mintues, or begging her to hang out. They aren't available all the time... maybe they're doing something right. Just some words of advice for the guys out there.

If anybody has any insight on why some guys feel the need to act so desperate... please, share.

they probably think they cant do any better or get another girl

some guys just don't hear no

Maybe inexperienced young men read on MSN or hear from other sources about the importance of "showering women with attention in every form". Thus, the phone calls, gifts and flowers follow. This works for the most part, but some tough cookies need an alternative approach. My advice to guys out there is to never fret over any one given woman. If she is elusive, hang in there and you'll find another lady who is just as great.

Also you have to make it clear to the damsel, that she is not the ONLY pebble on the beach. This way the relationship stays balanced and your significant other does not turn air-heady over her unrelenting charm.

quote:Originally posted by firekitty751:

Begging a girl to hang out with you will not make her like you. Neither will offering food, presents, money, anything. It's just annoying. Especially when you ask her about other guys, and she clearly states that she's interested in somebody.

Maybe, if she's interested in somebody else, take a look at what they're doing. They're not calling her or texting her every five mintues, or begging her to hang out. They aren't available all the time... maybe they're doing something right. Just some words of advice for the guys out there.

If anybody has any insight on why some guys feel the need to act so desperate... please, share.

Come hang out with me PLEASE. I've got food, presents, money, anything you want. PLEASE.

On topic, those men are wusses. It's all about playing mind games with the opposite sex to establish dominance. Women want to be dominated, that's why they like the stereotypical asshole.

Rykoshet: Shouldn't you be studying for your Calculus test? There is still time to gear up for that.

What this is called is the SUPERfriendship idea.

In the normal world..when you have a friend, you guys hang out, go out to eat, and sometimes give gifts and do nice things for each other.

What guys that don't get IT do is supersize the friendship idea. Call you more than they would a normal friend, want to hang out more, want to take you to eat.. and then pay for it, and give lots of gifts.

If a guy is acting like that.. not only will he not attract women.. he will scorn them for going for someone that "doesn't treat her as well as I would" and never see the fault in his ways. These are normally men that were raised by their mothers.. because there is only one woman in the world that you treat like that, your mom.

What most of these guys really need is a good male rolemodel. Normally these guys either don't have a dad so to speak, never knew him, or whatever. Or they scorn the idea of him because he heard from the tv that a guy that is somewhat asshole-ish isn't liked by women. and he goes and does the TOTALLY wrong thing by being TO nice.

Mind games are good, but only to a point. But here, there's no attempt at mind games, which isn't good.

And it's not just one guy. There are two. And I really don't want to be a bitch, but I firmly say no every single time they want to buy me things, and it just gets worse. I feel really bad, but I dunno what to do.

And I hate to complain about this, because I've never gotten this much attention from guys before... but I'm just not attracted to them, and I don't want to blatently say "hey I don't like you like that" unless they bring it up. One of them sort of got the hint and backed off, but the other just latches on and god, it's annoying.

quote:Originally posted by Zodiac228:

Rykoshet: Shouldn't you be studying for your Calculus test? There is still time to gear up for that.

Good to know you care =)

The way I see it, when I go into class tomorrow, one of two things can happen.

1) I miraculously figure out how to solve every problem and get perfect.

2) I miraculously find an empty seat next to an asian kid and copy off him and get perfect.

It's like 3am and I'm giving it my best shot, bear with me.

Can you really fucking help it? I like novelty in a mate. In 19 years, I have only known two people I would seriously consider being a soulmate.

That "lots of fish in the sea" is true. The are lots of fish, but the ones you want are never in abundance, are they?

quote:Originally posted by firekitty751:

Mind games are good, but only to a point. But here, there's no attempt at mind games, which isn't good.

And it's not just one guy. There are two. And I really don't want to be a bitch, but I firmly say no every single time they want to buy me things, and it just gets worse. I feel really bad, but I dunno what to do.

And I hate to complain about this, because I've never gotten this much attention from guys before... but I'm just not attracted to them, and I don't want to blatently say "hey I don't like you like that" unless they bring it up. One of them sort of got the hint and backed off, but the other just latches on and god, it's annoying.

No good. Guys are stupid creatures. He will not back off until you tell him firmly "no". He's dilusional, so don't lead him on (not that you are). Right now he's thinking that since you didn't explicitly say NO, you secretly want him. Just tell him no. Fuck his feelings. Look out for #1, that's what he's doing.

quote:Originally posted by ArgonPlasma2000:

Can you really fucking help it? I like novelty in a mate. In 19 years, I have only known two people I would seriously consider being a soulmate.

That "lots of fish in the sea" is true. The are lots of fish, but the ones you want are never in abundance, are they?

In your 19 years, how far from your town have you gone? Something like 10,000 girls turn 18 everyday in the San Francisco Area. That means that if you fuck a different chick each day, just the 18 year olds with birthdays on oct 5, 1988 would last you about 30 years.

Not saying you should, but giving you an idea of just how vast this ocean is.

quote:Originally posted by Rykoshet:

No good. Guys are stupid creatures. He will not back off until you tell him firmly "no". He's dilusional, so don't lead him on (not that you are). Right now he's thinking that since you didn't explicitly say NO, you secretly want him. Just tell him no. Fuck his feelings. Look out for #1, that's what he's doing.

I've said no to him buying me stuff, to hanging out, and other things... but in the off chance he's just a REALLY nice guy, I don't want to say "no I don't like you like that" because then I'll look presumptuous and dumb. He did ask me on a "real date" and I told him I wasn't comfortable with that because he's a friend, but he didn't say anything and hasn't backed down.

If he refuses to take no as an answer, I can't be blamed for leading him on, can I? This is just stupid... and between him and another friend, my phone bill is very high. I don't get free texts.

quote:Originally posted by Rykoshet:

In your 19 years, how far from your town have you gone? Something like 10,000 girls turn 18 everyday in the San Francisco Area. That means that if you fuck a different chick each day, just the 18 year olds with birthdays on oct 5, 1988 would last you about 30 years.

Not saying you should, but giving you an idea of just how vast this ocean is.

I've been to Canada.... Regardless, of my relatively small social exposure, probability is still very much not in my favor.

I still dont have to meet a million people to sample them. For instance, I see Paris Hilton on TV and I would never consider dating that. One's physical appearance is one facet of compatibility, thus I can exclude undesirables using only the eyes. And baby these eyes get around....

quote:Originally posted by ArgonPlasma2000:

I've been to Canada.... Regardless, of my relatively small social exposure, probability is still very much not in my favor.

I still dont have to meet a million people to sample them. For instance, I see Paris Hilton on TV and I would never consider dating that. One's physical appearance is one facet of compatibility, thus I can exclude undesirables using only the eyes. And baby these eyes get around....

Then you're making assumptions. I thought this blond was the biggest slut whore bitch ever in high school. Turns out her mom was a doctor and everyone in her family was very learned. I went out with her a bit afterwards, but I was 100% certan she was a slut whore bitch before that.

My point is, don't judge a woman by her fleshy outer part.

quote:Originally posted by firekitty751:

I've said no to him buying me stuff, to hanging out, and other things... but in the off chance he's just a REALLY nice guy, I don't want to say "no I don't like you like that" because then I'll look presumptuous and dumb. He did ask me on a "real date" and I told him I wasn't comfortable with that because he's a friend, but he didn't say anything and hasn't backed down.

If he refuses to take no as an answer, I can't be blamed for leading him on, can I? This is just stupid... and between him and another friend, my phone bill is very high. I don't get free texts.

Why keep him around as a friend then? Tell him it aint going to work out between the two of you, and that he's making you uncomfortable with his suggestions, and you'd rather not be friends at all if he can't control his urges.

Or something to that extent, just more articulate, but equally stingy.

Girl, males don't do hints and don't usually understand girly polite chat.

Sometimes you've gotta be cuel to be kind...to him and yourself.

A slap across the face and a vicious 'fuck off' will work wonders.

Give up all idea of having him just as a friend, it won't work in this case.

quote:Originally posted by jackketch:

Girl, males don't do hints and don't usually understand girly polite chat.

Sometimes you've gotta be cuel to be kind...to him and yourself.

A slap across the face and a vicious 'fuck off' will work wonders.

Give up all idea of having him just as a friend, it won't work in this case.

quote:Originally posted by Rykoshet:

Then you're making assumptions. I thought this blond was the biggest slut whore bitch ever in high school. Turns out her mom was a doctor and everyone in her family was very learned. I went out with her a bit afterwards, but I was 100% certan she was a slut whore bitch before that.

My point is, don't judge a woman by her fleshy outer part.

If her "fleshy outer part" exudes the aura of a whore, I dont want that.

quote:Originally posted by ArgonPlasma2000:

If her "fleshy outer part" exudes the aura of a whore, I dont want that.

I know, but assumptions are never good. That's why I'm not too fond of picking up chicks in bars and stuff. No idea if we even have one thing in common. I'd rather approach a girl at a concert or something, so atleast we could talk about music if all else failed.

We dont have a vagina of our own, so we are forced to use yours. :*(

quote:Originally posted by XHippie HunterX:

We dont have a vagina of our own, so we are forced to use yours. :*(

Thank you.

So fucking true, it will also prepare him somewhat for when you start dating his best friend a week later.

I send no more than two texts a day to a girlfriend, IF THAT, and I like seeing them once a week. Maybe 2-3 phone calls.

The day a girl calls me 'clingy' is the day I kick a girl in the ovaries.

Yeah, plus I can feel the neediness aswell, i'm a guy. It's like my gut is saying DO NOT DO THAT! For example I have a girl cancel our date, so I was a bit pissed, but still I hung out with my friends and went for a pizza instead. Hmm.. Nice. Extra cheese... Yeah and I text her back saying so how are you going to make it up to me. o_O''

Showering me with gifts and attention makes me really happy

I guess guys don't realize that being nice to a girl is actually annoying them. It's kind of like if a girl likes a guy, then she should just shut up every once in a while if you want him to like you. Seriously though, silence is not a bad thing.

lol fire, that reminded me.

Some guy kept trying to get me to call him so we could hang out and what not.

And he CONSTANTLY used crap like (Exact quotes)

"oh, well if you're too busy.."

"u seem like a very busy girl"

"well whenever ur free this year i guess"

And then finally:

"i hope u would like to get to know me as a freind..but if ur too busy for that i understand"

Trying to guilt trip me and make me pity him. I finally snapped (I fucking hate head games). "YES I am too busy for you. Guilt trip someone else. I'm not going to plan my evenings around phone calls with a stranger. I have a social life. Deal with it." /blocks him

I'm the exact opposite of these guys you are talking about. Deep down, I would be clingy, but I just ignore girls when they call me because I'm antisocial. It seems like they mistake this for confidence, which is sad.

If a girl I liked thought I was a creep, I would be especially bummed about it.

quote:Originally posted by smallpox champion:

If a girl I liked thought I was a creep, I would be especially bummed about it.

I feel bad, I don't want to be mean.

And even if I tell him I don't want to hang out with him, it's sort of unavoidable. We hang out in the same places.

Recently I've taken to being more sarcastic and telling him frequently I'm not interested in boys right now. Next time he says something I guess I'll just have to tell him... *sigh*

quote:Originally posted by firekitty751:

I feel bad, I don't want to be mean.

And even if I tell him I don't want to hang out with him, it's sort of unavoidable. We hang out in the same places.

Recently I've taken to being more sarcastic and telling him frequently I'm not interested in boys right now. Next time he says something I guess I'll just have to tell him... *sigh*

You gotta do what you gotta do. Nobody likes sketchy, unwanted advances.

quote:Originally posted by firekitty751:

Begging a girl to hang out with you will not make her like you. Neither will offering food, presents, money, anything. It's just annoying. Especially when you ask her about other guys, and she clearly states that she's interested in somebody.

Maybe, if she's interested in somebody else, take a look at what they're doing. They're not calling her or texting her every five mintues, or begging her to hang out. They aren't available all the time... maybe they're doing something right. Just some words of advice for the guys out there.

If anybody has any insight on why some guys feel the need to act so desperate... please, share.

So to get on a girl's good side I need to ignore her and treat her like shit?

Yes! Thanks for the advice, now I see why all the assholes gets tons of pussy!

Damn, i have to get a friend of mine to read this. Thanks firek.

Seriously, just like band-aids, anything that is clingy is best to remove quickly. Be harsh to him, but not soul-crushing harsh. Tell him that his attempts to woo you are annoying the fuck out of you and running up your phone bill...and also, PLEASE, for his sake, explain that you can't make someone like you with phone calls and gifts...those are supposed to be given to people that WANT to get to know you 'like that', and are already liking you enough to want something special from you - respectively.

hahah thats stupid...those guys are little kids with no brain... but its simple..girls like to chase not to be chased...

I just treat women like any situtation on a night operation-- 1. Stop, Take a Step back, and observe the situtaion. once I have observed the person i am interested in i figure out her likes. I will participate in these without letting anyone know i like her. it is like camoflague and concealment. eventually she will become interested. Let her approach you. never aproach her. Women need time also. They tend to like the obnoxious guys. if a girl can explain this please do. If you just keep your wits and become a friend. Eventually your relationship will grow deeper. kind of like infiltrating an objective zone. Then just be cool from there. only initiate contact when it is neccessary. Overdoing it will ruin your chances.

quote:Originally posted by Rykoshet:

Why keep him around as a friend then? Tell him it aint going to work out between the two of you, and that he's making you uncomfortable with his suggestions, and you'd rather not be friends at all if he can't control his urges.

Or something to that extent, just more articulate, but equally stingy.



Rykoshet, are all Calculus people this smart? All I can say is QFT

quote:Originally posted by arquin:

The day a girl calls me 'clingy' is the day I kick a girl in the ovaries.

And the day you risk losing a shoe...

quote:Originally posted by Trousersnake:

And the day you risk losing a shoe...

Oh SNAP.

quote:Originally posted by firekitty751:

If anybody has any insight on why some guys feel the need to act so desperate... please, share.

Some guys ARE desperate, and they think women want them to be honest about it.

quote:Originally posted by Basik:

Some guys ARE desperate, and they think women want them to be honest about it.

No, they want the guy to be honest so that they can avoid his ass.

quote:Originally posted by firekitty751:

If he refuses to take no as an answer, I can't be blamed for leading him on, can I?

In my opinion, yes, you can.

You simply aren't saying "no" firmly enough for his liking. Next time he brings up anything just tell him "Fuck no, I am not remotely attracted to you in any god damn way so why don't you stop bothering me you creepy asshole!?!?"

That ought to do the trick.

that friend idea really wont work. this man is right. i know because a lot of females have done that to me, and it will only cause more problems.

quote:Originally posted by ArgonPlasma2000:

Can you really fucking help it? I like novelty in a mate. In 19 years, I have only known two people I would seriously consider being a soulmate.

That "lots of fish in the sea" is true. The are lots of fish, but the ones you want are never in abundance, are they?

That's why you throw back the ones you don't want, or use them as bait for the ones you want.. I hang out with lots of chicks I don't like, mainly to meet their hot friends.

When that other guy unexpectedly showed up, I sort of freaked and I think the other boy got the hint that I'm not interested, because he saw how I acted around a boy I do like. He's been acting weird since then... although that was only last night. Whatever.

does he have really curly hair?

Personally i resent the fact that you just by claiming to be female can talk down to every male and use grammar and turns of phrase that imply that Men are completely incompetant and are like lemmings led by the next pair of big breasts or nice ass .

Jesus just be happy for having people pester you .Some people just dont get it ...

*sigh*

quote:Originally posted by firekitty751:



Thanks for that, hopefully some people (man) will listen. I think it's more convincing coming from a girl.

quote:Originally posted by firekitty751:

Begging a girl to hang out with you will not make her like you. Neither will offering food, presents, money, anything. It's just annoying. Especially when you ask her about other guys, and she clearly states that she's interested in somebody.

Maybe, if she's interested in somebody else, take a look at what they're doing. They're not calling her or texting her every five mintues, or begging her to hang out. They aren't available all the time... maybe they're doing something right. Just some words of advice for the guys out there.



QFT

quote:Originally posted by stab:

Oh SNAP.

Heh I got quoted...I'm happy

quote:Originally posted by inverted:

Personally i resent the fact that you just by claiming to be female can talk down to every male and use grammar and turns of phrase that imply that Men are completely incompetant and are like lemmings led by the next pair of big breasts or nice ass .

Jesus just be happy for having people pester you .Some people just dont get it ...

*sigh*

Shut up. Not all men are like that. It's the ones who complain that "nobody else will treat her better" when they're really just being annoying. If she's not interested, she's not interested. Nothing you can do will make her like you.

My point exactly ...

quote:Originally posted by inverted:

My point exactly ...

So I'm not talking down to men, it's just really irritating. I just don't get why somebody would ask again if I say no.

A crazy person is one who keeps doing the same thing and expects different results. You're hanging out with the wrong crowd.