(quite long, so leave if you have A.D.D)

I am a senior in highschool at the moment, and my girlfriend and I really want to stay together throughout college (we get along extremely well). We are both near the top 10 students in our highschool, and as a result we are looking at pretty high end schools.

My girlfriend is intellectually my equal, yet she has been doing shit tons of extracurricular stuff and has a school-oriented mind, while I am quite intelligent, yet I smoke pot and take school as it comes or not at all. She is applying to our local state university (Which is a very good school btw) and a few other near-ivy league schools as well. I am basically going to apply everywhere she does, because I don't give a flying fuck where I go to college, and am undecided on my major.

I don't think I have the potential to get accepted (or scrounge enough money) to attend these higher end schools, yet I believe that she has this potential. I am really bummed out because of this, and find myself secretly wishing that she won't be accepted. No matter what I do, I get saddened whenever we talk about college, because I see this as a relationship-breaker.

Make me feel better or something... I need you totse....

[This message has been edited by Ackronymph (edited 10-05-2006).]

It's not so much that its long...it's that it probably could have used a page break or two. Seriously. Paragraphs are your friends.

Okay, well the obvious answer is WORK HARDER IF YOU WANT TO GO TO THE SAME COLLEGE AS HER. A yes or no answer? I don't know.

Or maybe you could.. ahem, TELL HER HOW YOU FEEL next time you two start talking about colleges. If she cares enough she will start aiming towards one that you both can get into.

I just left my boyfriend for university and we're still together. It sucks to be apart, but we love each other so we're making it work. If you guys care about each other enough it'll be okay. And you said you're applying to all the same schools as her, you'll probably both get into atleast one in common.

Are you guys thinking about marriage? Maybe to satiate your insecurity, you two could get engaged and then even if the Universities are different, there will be a special bond. Also, her being accepted into a top Univ will actually be beneficial for your future. I find it totally oxymoronic that you don't want her to progress in life, but at the same time you care for her....

I know what you meant in your post, but it seems absurd that you are willing to sacrifice the rest of her life, for staying together in the next 3/4 years of Univ. Anyways, there are only two choices: Either you gear up to her level or stay apart for a while. There is no point in pulling her down to where you are.

Hate to break it to ya bud, but girls in college with boyfriends who are away = not good for the boyfriend, unless the guy is constantly at the school spending time with his girl and stuff - but that rarely happens.

It's funny, so many guys I know will talk to a girl and as soon as the girl mentions a boyfriend they think they're down and out, when it's almost the complete opposite. They're drunk/horny/missing someone and sex is pretty easy to attain if you play your cards right and invest 20 minutes of time.

This is like 3 times worse for guys in college with girlfriends who are away, so it could be worse.

College took my girl away from me and we went to the same college.

quote:Originally posted by Stephanie:

Or maybe you could.. ahem, TELL HER HOW YOU FEEL next time you two start talking about colleges. If she cares enough she will start aiming towards one that you both can get into.

I think it's a really bad idea to make serious life decisions based on a high school relationship. If you're married or engaged, yea ok. But to ask her to potentially give up an ivy league education and the perks that come with it for a high school boyfriend isn't really fair or a good idea.

College is the end of many relationships, but also the start of many more new ones.

Only if you let it.

quote:Originally posted by Stephanie:

Or maybe you could.. ahem, TELL HER HOW YOU FEEL next time you two start talking about colleges. If she cares enough she will start aiming towards one that you both can get into.

Don't talk to her about limiting herself. That's foolish.

You're worrying over nothing. There's nothing here but fear for the future, and you have no reason to be afraid from what I read.

You said that you're both doing well. Apply for scholarships and aid if you have your heart set on things. I can't see anything in here that would prevent you and her from attending the same school.

[This message has been edited by Euda (edited 10-05-2006).]

Well, I know that there is a very good chance of us having to end it... I know that. The simple truth is that my family doesn't HAVE enough money to send me to the schools that she is looking at. I only got a 29 on my ACT and she got a 31 and is going to raise it by the end of the year. I don't have much potential to raise it (I suck at standardized tests) and because of this, there is simply no way that I can receive enough financial aid to attend these schools.

It isn't that she doesn't want to attend our state university. It is one of the top ten in the nation and very good for what she wants to accomplish in college. She is just waiting till she figures out how much financial aid she can get and where she was accepted. She may decide to stay in state even if she gets accepted everywhere.

I just don't think that a long distance relationship will work. We both know of all the dangers to that and would rather not be hurt by it. As a previous poster said, there are too many opportunies and parties. It isn't like one is staying at home and the other going a hundred miles or so. We are talking other sides of the country here.

I know asking her to stay behind because of me is a terrible thing to do and I won't have her going to a school just for me or limiting herself in any way. I would honestly rather lose her than that. I know all this... I just wanted someone to offer a small nugget of wisdom to keep me from getting depressed in the months to come. I have now come to find that such a thing doesn't appear to exist.



[This message has been edited by Ackronymph (edited 10-05-2006).]

quote:Originally posted by Ackronymph:

(quite long, so leave if you have A.D.D)





Screw you dickweed:

1. I read your entire post

2. It's ADHA, ADD is just a shortened version

3. Cut the pot for a bit, ask your girlfriend for help and do well in your exams - once your in college you can smoke as much as you want.

quote:Originally posted by Strakynyar Krongoth:



Screw you dickweed:

1. I read your entire post

2. It's ADHA, ADD is just a shortened version

3. Cut the pot for a bit, ask your girlfriend for help and do well in your exams - once your in college you can smoke as much as you want.

I read it all aswell.

ADHD*

And godamn YOU act like you can't se each other out side of education. Man of little FAITH.

If you want to get into the psychological side. Not that I read any post but the last one.

But ADD and ADHD are diffrent.

ADHD just has the hyper thing added to it.

Godamn wikipedia. I thought it was right.

Haha, you guys are getting so uppity about the ADD. I have ADD. Yes.

Prehapse we should start a club..........

Does it have hugging involved?

my boyfriend and i are going to the same college. its been just over a month and things are already changing between us, and not really for the better.

listen, i did not believe everyone when they say that college changes you. when i heard people say 'ill give it till the end of the first semester' i thought they were silly and he and i were strong enough to overcome it.

now i realize they were right. unless you really do have a great bond, which i doubt since you can't even talk to her about this issue (and my boyfriend and i had the discussion right when the thought of college popped into our heads) then i really dont think you should make her go to any school other than one you get accepted to/can afford. and you shouldn't go into debt to go to the same school she is going to. i am sure you love her now but you are what 17? 18?...like i said to my friend the other day, at 18 you don't need love. you need good sex and a lot of it from at least a few people (not at once of course).

ah whatever, do what you please. but you should really heed the warning of someone that was in your shoes just one year ago.

quote:Originally posted by BluryVision:

Does it have hugging involved?



Your dam right it does!

I didn't mean to make it seem like I can't talk to her about this. We talk about this problem all the time and each time, we come to the conclusion that "what will happen, will". That solution works for a week or so, but then something comes up that makes it seem like looming disaster yet again. We do talk about this problem, but we seem to be stuck in the discussion. All these separate viewpoints have helped though, and I really appreciate everyone who has given me their earnest opinion. Thanks