I know one of the most romantic things a person can do is change for their partner. I see it all around me, but why?

Why would you want to change into someone you're not in order to please your significant other? It pisses me right off when a woman tries to change me and tell me how to live my life.

I need comfort. Acceptance is what I yearn for, yet it feels like it'll never come.

Sorry for the rambling. When I read it to myself, I feel it makes no sense but I'm pretty angry and can't think straight.

If you truly loved someone you would overcome certain obstacles that are universally regarded as bad for you, not for yourself, but rather to please them.

For example, take alcoholism. It may be a part of who you are, but that still doesn't make it a good thing, nor does it make it something you shouldn't want to overcome for your love's sake.

quote:Originally posted by Sioux-Reborn:

I know one of the most romantic things a person can do is change for their partner. I see it all around me, but why?

Its simple. Your baic premise is completely wrong. It's not romantic in the least. And most girls wont respect you in the least if you change into someone you're not just for them. The ones that will stick around will do so becaus they enjoy being in control, and they'll dominate every aspect of your life.

quote:Originally posted by SilentMind:

The ones that will stick around will do so becaus they enjoy being in control, and they'll dominate every aspect of your life.

Exactly the kind of person I'm with now.

A few months ago I told myself I was going to live my own life, and those who'd tell me different had no place in my life.

I just broke it off with her.

Anyone else ever experience what I went through, though?

This doesn't work when they want you to change, (unless, like stated above, it's something like alcoholism). It works when you realize that the both of you would be happier if you decided to do something different, and so you do it. Then she notices, and it's a huge, romantic thing. a good thing. Otherwise, it's usually not for your own good, it's simply because your partner enjoys being in control and would change you just to suit themselves better.

If your partner wants you to change, then you need to do some serious soul-searching before you go through with it. if you honestly trust your partner, then the only reason they should want you to change is for your own good. if it seems like they want you to change for any other reason, it might be a good idea to look at your relationship - and possibly end it.

There's a diffrence between changing yourself, and improving/maintaining yourself.

Get a sex change.

ok, serious note:

Take self help courses.

Take courses to better understand the opposite sex.

Look good for them, don't get lazy and let yourself go. I.E. keep your hair nice, work out, keep a tan, etc, if your female, dress up a little extra nice every once and while.

They don't change who you are unless you're a fat alchoholic womanizer, which I'm sure you're not ^_^

quote:Originally posted by Sioux-Reborn:

Exactly the kind of person I'm with now.

A few months ago I told myself I was going to live my own life, and those who'd tell me different had no place in my life.

I just broke it off with her.

Anyone else ever experience what I went through, though?

I have.

Same fucking shit, I changed myself 99%. I will never go through that shit again. I was someone different the whole time. My problem was, I got too content with it.

Seriously, I'm 100% happier being single. There wasn't a day I regretted it or felt bad about it. I made one farewell post here saying how I MAY have regrets, and I had NONE.

I will NOT change for anyone ever again... And by change, I mean my personality and hobbies. I wouldn't really care about giving up something harmful, even though there's nothing I do that's harmful. Either someone can accept me, or not... doesn't matter.

I dont give a shit how romantic they may find my changing, and i really couldnt give a flying fuck if they want me to.

I did that shit once, and i swear to christ and all that is fucking holy that i will never do it again. It is not worth selling out who you are just to make them feel like they have accomplished some good in your/their life. All they want is a visible sign telling them that they are in control, that they have power, and that you will do anything. Its a constant verification of your feelings. And it is complete and utter BULLSHIT.

Dont ever change yourself for somebody else, if you want to change for your own reasont then great, but never let somebody push you into it. Ever.

/rant

Sorry the subject is a touchy one for me.