Well I have never been good with girls and have never been on a date or had a girlfriend (im 18..) Now there is this one girl I really like and I can make her laugh easy and I catch her looking at me every once and a while in class so I figure that I have atleast a little shot, so I asked one of her friends today if she has a boyfriend and she said no. I really dont know how to go about asking her if she wants to be my girlfriend, I cant just walk up and straight out ask her out I dunno why but I cant, we both have 5th period spares so I was thinking maybe I could see if she wants to hang out then and see how it goes from there, but I am so totaly lost I dont know what to say to her, and I cant just let this chance go to waste, I need some serious advice here..

Just have her friends give her a note along the lines of 'How about a round of the old in an out in the gym after class?'

if you both have 5th period spares then just meet her up... talk to her, get her conforatable, and like, kinda bring it up...

try to ease your self and your feelings about her into the conversation...

[This message has been edited by ruckus (edited 10-02-2006).]

The longer you build up to it, the poorer your chances are of her accepting. If you ask a girl in the first 10 minutes of meeting her, she's gotta decide then and there. And you get points for being casual/impulsive. If you have to spend a month getting comfortable just talking to her...they pick up on that. God only knows how, but they do.

quote:Originally posted by SilentMind:

The longer you build up to it, the poorer your chances are of her accepting. If you ask a girl in the first 10 minutes of meeting her, she's gotta decide then and there. And you get points for being casual/impulsive. If you have to spend a month getting comfortable just talking to her...they pick up on that. God only knows how, but they do.

well I have known her for a year but never really hung out with her but I was always able to make her laugh and shit, in the last couple weeks I have been talking to her more and she seems like she might like me, but since I waited so long does that mean I have no chance now?

quote:Originally posted by roll2daspot:

well I have known her for a year but never really hung out with her but I was always able to make her laugh and shit, in the last couple weeks I have been talking to her more and she seems like she might like me, but since I waited so long does that mean I have no chance now?

No. That just seems to be my personal experience. The biggest thing is to just suck it up and do it. If you get rejected, It. Does. Not. Matter. Seriously. The most common problem with asking girls out during the high school years is that you get too emotionally involved before theres even a relationship. You'll save yourself a lot of heartache if you just take a look at some of the older guys around you and do what they do.

At 15, a boy will crush over a girl at school, think about her day and night and scheme for three weeks about how to win her. Then when he finally asks her out, she turns him down, (usually for being too nice, because the boy is already mildly obsessed at this point).

at 21, a guy goes into a bar, sees a woman that he finds reasonably attractive, chats her up and eventually asks her out. Chances are, she'll still say no...because I think only like 15% of women are actively looking for someone(I'm not sure about the statistic there, but it seems pretty close.) She says no, he goes back to his buddies and by the next drink he feels up to asking another girl out. By the end of the night, he's usually got a lady friend.

But the bottom line. Just ask her. Stop dragging your feet. The more you think about it. The more you plan it. The worse your chances are going to be. Keep it casual and simple. And try not to care too much.

Im definitly gonna try to ask her out within the next few days, im thinking I should just say something like what are you doing this weekend, we should hang out. This shouldnt be so hard, everyone else seems to be able to do it like nothing but I gotta sit around thinking about it forever I wish I had more experience with girls..

at 21, a guy goes into a bar, sees a woman that he finds reasonably attractive, chats her up and eventually asks her out. Chances are, she'll still say no...because I think only like 15% of women are actively looking for someone(I'm not sure about the statistic there, but it seems pretty close.) She says no, he goes back to his buddies and by the next drink he feels up to asking another girl out. By the end of the night, he's usually got a lady friend.

That's so Tacky.

quote:Originally posted by RichieBats:



at 21, a guy goes into a bar, sees a woman that he finds reasonably attractive, chats her up and eventually asks her out. Chances are, she'll still say no...because I think only like 15% of women are actively looking for someone(I'm not sure about the statistic there, but it seems pretty close.) She says no, he goes back to his buddies and by the next drink he feels up to asking another girl out. By the end of the night, he's usually got a lady friend.

That's so Tacky.



True, but the point is valid. If you get rejected 8 times out of 10, you're still ahead of the game. And as long as you dont have any emotional attachment before theres a relationship, then rejection doesnt mean anything.

Man I fucking suck... She sits right behind me in 3rd period and it was slack as hell today everyone was just talking, I kinda talked to her but not really, my mind just goes blank and I dont know what to say to her.

quote:Originally posted by roll2daspot:

Man I fucking suck... She sits right behind me in 3rd period and it was slack as hell today everyone was just talking, I kinda talked to her but not really, my mind just goes blank and I dont know what to say to her.



Then dont talk to her. Really. Theres no point. Once you get that worked up about a girl, it gets hard to make the transition to the kind of comfort level you'd need for any sort of healthy relationship. Go find another girl to talk to. One that you havent built up so much. It's a lot easier to go up to a random girl and be like 'hey, whats up?' then to confront the object of your obsession.

If nothing more, go to the mall and start talking to the cashier girls. Make a game of it. See how long you can keep her talking to you. Once you've gotten comfortable with girls, and you've had a bit of practice, then you may have better luck talking to your girl.