Some times I feel like I'm trapped in this whole universe. It's so weird. There's nobody I can talk to, there's no where to going, there's no way to comfort myself. Everything's just so wide-open and nothing's known to me.

I can hardly make it through a school day because of how disgusted I am by the kids I go to school with and the teachers. I analyze humanity all of the time and it becomes an issue making it hard for me to socialize.

I a lot of times prevent myself from getting close to people. I'm so bad with emotions. I feel extremely uncomfortable when I just tell my parents I love them. Any time somebody gets too close I inevitably push them away.

I've got all of these ways of looking at things but then one second later I can debate with myself and make my opinion go between both sides of the argument. It's extremely annoying because a lot of times this make me feel like I'm preventing myself from making a concerte opinion on something.

I know we all have our problems but mine fuck me up in my every day life, just dealing with people has become an issue. People generally like me when they meet me and I've got a lot of "friends" at school and around the community but I can't even talk to them.

I constantly have a sick feeling in my stomach and sometimes I just cry. I don't even know what I'm crying for. I just do it.

I know this is all part of growing up and I'm really not sure where I'm trying to get when I post this thread. I suppose just comfort.

My thoughts go so much deeper than this. I hate it. Perhaps I think too much.

Yep L, you do!

Think less and do more.

*e-hug*

Thank, buddy.

I'm going to sleep, anything offered is greatly appriciated. I think it'd be interesting to hear your philosophy of humanity, it's comforting to me, so threrefore, can stay in here

Concrete opinions are for fools. Life changes all the time.

quote:Originally posted by Euda:

Concrete opinions are for fools. Life changes all the time.

That surprisingly made me feel much better.

I'd like to think what I'm doing is right. Then again I'll never know and nobody will be able to tell me. I figure I can't truly be wrong as long as I back myself up enough. After all, we're all humans, nobody truly knows anything if you think about it.

All I can do is think for myself and use my own mind to figure things and make them logical, that's the closest to "right" I will get.

Ha!

You are trapped in this Universe. There is no human to talk to of the things you wish to because no human has the patience necessary. There is no where to be going because you do not know where to go. There is no way for you to comfort yourself. You can try saying 'it's gonna be alright, this will pass', but does it, really? Has it EVER passed on its own?

There is something that can move you-something you can use to speak for as long as you wish about whatever you wish to a party that will listen-something that shines a light on your path-something that takes your discomfort away. This magnificent tool is faith - it cares not what you direct it towards, but merely that it exists. It is that which fills the void you have come to know.

quote:Originally posted by Hexadecimal:

You are trapped in this Universe. There is no human to talk to of the things you wish to because no human has the patience necessary. There is no where to be going because you do not know where to go. There is no way for you to comfort yourself. You can try saying 'it's gonna be alright, this will pass', but does it, really? Has it EVER passed on its own?

There is something that can move you-something you can use to speak for as long as you wish about whatever you wish to a party that will listen-something that shines a light on your path-something that takes your discomfort away. This magnificent tool is faith - it cares not what you direct it towards, but merely that it exists. It is that which fills the void you have come to know.

I think you're right. I just need time to figure things out. Everything around me is constantly changing. I feel so uncomfortable with the fact that I probably won't figure "it" out.

I just rrally can't see why anything matters if this is all our lifes are spent doing.

There has to be some ultimate reason for why we exist. Why? Because we want it to. Maybe there's no reason or explination. I mean it must stop somewhere. Sure it could go on and on but infinity didn't begin from nothing, then it wouldn't truly be infinity.

I mean, all of this exists because other humans say so. Perhaps we just are here and existing now.

Chirst, I do this all of the time. I'm honestly just typing what going through my head. I'm sorry if this makes no sense, there's not much time being put into these posts because this is all flowing so quickly.

quote:Originally posted by sylph:

I think you're right. I just need time to figure things out. Everything around me is constantly changing. I feel so uncomfortable with the fact that I probably won't figure "it" out.



Wow, you sound alot like me. Seriously. Been going thru the same deal my whole life. It does take a lot of time, unfortunately. I've been feeling the exact same way for the past 15 years and I don't think I will ever figure it out, but I have come pretty close. So far I know that it is something that only YOU can figure out. I experience the "constant changing" feeling all the time. But life IS a process of perpetual change. That makes me uncomfortable too.

Well, change isn't easy...and it's usually not fun either...but it's necessary to move from the storm of perpetual misery that many people find themselves in and see no way out of, failing to realize that the way out is to simply give up the running. We try our best to handle life without any form of faith...we put all of our energy into self-reliance yet we still fail to find lasting happiness. It's not until we quit running from the very truth of humanity that we are not capable on our own that we find the very strength that IS capable of moving us along. It sucks to come to the epiphany that you've wasted your whole life fighting an undefeatable enemy, but it's also very much freeing; it opens up an amazing amount of avenues which you would have never seen before. Life quits being a chain of meaningless obligations once you have the tool necessary to back up from your living it and see the bigger picture: you're choosing enslavement to self over freedom from self...an epiphany that is absolutely impossible to put into practice without faith.

I realized it before I found faith. Though I was entirely unable, as have all others I've spoken to about this issue, been able to break from the slavery until faith in SOMETHING had been arrived at. Only when the immaterial is sought does living surpass the material truth of cause and effect. Various degrees of educated people have laughed at me for this statement...professors, doctors, students, high school graduates, GEDs, even the uneducated...but I've also heard agreement from these same groups. And invariably I have found that those who agree are easy-going, straight-forward, open about nearly all issues, and happy with themselves. Some found faith in gods, some in ideals, some in fate...it doesn't seem to matter what so long as it is not material. And it also seems from my own experience, and those I've talked to about this, that meditating on the object of our faith has increased our happiness and lessened the interruptions of stress due to the changes necessary; this effect has also been independent of what the object of faith was chosen to be - so long as it was immaterial.

Sylph, love... the easiest solution, of course, would be to just not worry about it. But we all know that's easier said than done.

I was having a talk the other day with my mom. She said she never says that she has a permanent opinion on anything, because she knows things change. Most of the time, it's not things around you changing... it's you. And that's usually a good thing, because who wants boring routine throughout their lives?

But I know how you feel. Lately, I've been stressed all the time. I don't know why, but it sounds sort of like what you explained. I don't know how to fix it and feel better all the time, but when it starts to be too much I sit down and think for a few minutes, and realize that I have absolutely nothing to be that worried about, and everything is fine. It usually helps, but if it doesn't, I go home and go to bed, or read a book, or listen to music.

*SMACK*

Sounds like you're turning in on yourself. Happens a lot with intelligent teenage girls. Basically it means you're maturing mentally faster then you can handle.

Serious suggestion, dumb yourself down a bit, go be a 'girly' for a bit.

quote:Originally posted by sylph:

[B]There's nobody I can talk to, there's no where to going, there's no way to comfort myself.

I think you're feeling loneliness. Lonely people often feel "lost" and isolated. What's the point of having experiences if there is nobody to share them with?

quote:Originally posted by sylph:

I can hardly make it through a school day because of how disgusted I am by the kids I go to school with and the teachers.

You're smarter than most people your age. The drawback of wisdom is sadness. You cannot change your intelligence, you cannot become more ignorant, so you must live with this double-edged sword.

quote:Originally posted by sylph:

I a lot of times prevent myself from getting close to people. I'm so bad with emotions. I feel extremely uncomfortable when I just tell my parents I love them. Any time somebody gets too close I inevitably push them away.

Me too, I don't even know why I do it, but I can relate.

quote:Originally posted by sylph:

People generally like me when they meet me and I've got a lot of "friends" at school and around the community but I can't even talk to them.

A cause of loneliness is the lack of "primary relationships". The important ones, close friends and family etc. This is the problem I have. My family has turned its back on me and I don't feel that I have any friends I can truly trust. My standards are probably too high but I can't help it.



quote:Originally posted by sylph:

I constantly have a sick feeling in my stomach and sometimes I just cry. I don't even know what I'm crying for. I just do it.



Again, could this be loneliness?

[This message has been edited by Whore of God (edited 10-02-2006).]

Just to let you know Sylph, you're not alone. I don't have a long post in mind about the topic because....I'm working on an essay.

You sound a lot like me and I wish I could tell you that things will get better...But they won't. The best you can hope for is to find one person you can relate to and to stick with them for life. I was lucky...I found mine when I was young and maybe you will too.

Try to find happiness in being alone is all I can tell you.

Welcome to adolescence.

quote:Originally posted by Xiao Mei:

Try to find happiness in being alone is all I can tell you.

That's girl-code for "buy a vibrator", basically.

quote:Originally posted by fullcircle:

That's girl-code for "buy a vibrator", basically.

LOL

That has to be today's 'jackketch wipes snot and coffee spray off monitor' moment!

Heh, to be honest, I've never even SEEN an evil vibrator...Except in pictures.:P

And no woman needs to do without sex if she wants to have it. I'm sure there are many guys even now slobbering over the 13 year old Sylph.:P

Well, I gave this some more thought today.

I think the primary cause is perhaps lonliness, for my depression that is. I'm really sarcastic and I find humor in anything. I have a guy that I do like but he told me in class today that I was hard to take serious. I'm not sure how he meant it because he was laughing when he said it. This really brought me down though.

I can't relate to anybody and I just wish I could find someone to make me feel like I belong. I'm not just talking about a boyfriend, just a friend.

I'm fine with lonliness though. I like not being bothered but somebody to talk to from time to time would be nice.

I can't change the fact that I'm hyper and funny, that's who I am and I won't try. People just don't get to know me well enough and underestimate me. I know people think I'm "intelligent", which I have come to hate when people in my school tell me this, but I really don't say anything out of the ordinary for them to be like "Wow!". Personally, I think I present myself extremely idiotic so I'm quite shocked when I hear things like this. That wasn't meant to be cocky, that was just more explination to how people don't get to know me mess.

I really appriciate all you guys have told me. My day was really shitty today, possibly the worst of them all. This thread made me feel a lot better.

I've excepted the fact that I'm never truly going to be happy and have a firm opinion on anything. That's silly to think I would. I just think I'm searching for good philosophys for my mind, if you kind of know what I mean.

I love being open minded, despite the feeling of stress it causes me. It also brings me happiness. I suppose the old saying, "You can't have one without the other." best applies in these type of situations.

The biggest issue for me is that I have nobody. I just don't feel like anybody understands. Since I've been alone so long I've become alien to talking to people about things like this and when I try I just trip over my words and I can't make it all come out. I sound like a fool.

It's funny, I'm one of the most outgoing people you'll ever meet. Atleast, that's what everybody says. I'm also one of the least. If that makes any sense at all...

I guess it's like this, I'm not intimidated by people. I'm intimidated by myself.

This is a quote better left un-attributed:

"Purity is the opposite of integrity. The worst thing yoou can do to someone is make them ashamed of their own complexity."

Don't try and hammer yourself into other people's conceptual frameworks. Its like knocking a square peg into a circular hole. You might be able to do it if you try hard enough, but you will lose something in the process. You are a unique human being. Be complex, be contradictory, be whatever the fuck you want to be, but do not, ever be upset that you aren't what someone else says you're suppose to be.

Best wishes.

quote:Originally posted by just a name:

This is a quote better left un-attributed:

"Purity is the opposite of integrity. The worst thing yoou can do to someone is make them ashamed of their own complexity."

Don't try and hammer yourself into other people's conceptual frameworks. Its like knocking a square peg into a circular hole. You might be able to do it if you try hard enough, but you will lose something in the process. You are a unique human being. Be complex, be contradictory, be whatever the fuck you want to be, but do not, ever be upset that you aren't what someone else says you're suppose to be.

Best wishes.



yes. now i have to make a note of your username in case you post anything else intelligent.

quote:Originally posted by just a name:

This is a quote better left un-attributed:

"Purity is the opposite of integrity. The worst thing yoou can do to someone is make them ashamed of their own complexity."

Don't try and hammer yourself into other people's conceptual frameworks. Its like knocking a square peg into a circular hole. You might be able to do it if you try hard enough, but you will lose something in the process. You are a unique human being. Be complex, be contradictory, be whatever the fuck you want to be, but do not, ever be upset that you aren't what someone else says you're suppose to be.

Best wishes.



Thank you so very much.

I believe I'll do the same as Lauren, I've never seen you before.

Do you have a 'knack' for something? Something you work on obsessively?

Like Steve Vai or any musician who practices on their instrument 8hrs/day? You won't have time when your older working/dating & schoolin'. You're time is relatively free as compared to any future time... No?

They tell you you're a kid now, so you can't...soon they'll be tellin' you you're not a kid...so you must.

quote:Originally posted by sylph:



Thank you so very much.

I believe I'll do the same as Lauren, I've never seen you before.

do us a favour darling, NEVER take drugs. I'm very similar in my loneliness/depression states, but believe me, the Tuesday blues when you're already feeling like that is true and complete fucking Hell.

moonmeister: I play the guitar. I suppose I could work on that.

Garfunkel: I've already tried drugs. I don't care for them too much. I was already depressed when I took them, during my trip I felt great. Once the drugs wore off I had the worst 2 weeks of my life of depression. I had gone manic, I had no happy medium.

Drugs do interest me. Mainly because of their affects on our mind. Drug use doesn't.



You have all helped me a lot. I'm thankful for your serious replies. I've come to a compromise with myself and I'll just stay focused on other things instead of silly tid-bits like this.

Social Anxiety, perhaps?

I motion for an archive, just because every single reply in this thread was something intelligent (except maybe the vibrator comment, but that was funny).

I don't feel like I have much to say because all of it's already been said. I feel the exact same way as you, sylph. I can never really relate completely to anyone, but then again, my opinions and beliefs change on a day by day basis. I suppose it could just be a part of the hormones and the adolescence, but there's something more there; it feels like I've almost become an adult in my outlook on life. Not in my intelligence, I have a long way to go on that, but in the way I see things. The kids in my school make me want to cry. I've even made a "Kids who will soon be pushed down the stairs" list in my head for all of the annoying ones. I realize that one day their views will probably change, but it seems like every day they just get stupider and more ignorant. I can't understand why they would want to dumb themselves down unless it involved fitting in, which I believe is the worst thing you can do to yourself. Ironically, almost all of these kids are ones that consider themselves "popular". Ugh, the word disgusts me. I also feel how you do about the "debating in my head" thing. I think I finally have a stance on something, a good firm belief, but then something else comes along to challenge that belief, and I find my brain arguing with itself to the point where I lose focus and kinda go inside myself to figure it out. I think way too much, I guess.

But I digress, and there's homework to be done T_T. Hope things get better.

quote:Originally posted by jackketch:



Serious suggestion, dumb yourself down a bit, go be a 'girly' for a bit.

Do it. I've been in your boat for the past 18 months. And nothing helps as much as a food-filled sleepover, or a friend filling you in on what's happened in the last four years of some soap you don't care about.

Everybody is somewhat different in every new situation? I mean aren't people different with their various relatives young/old close/distant? Same with being with close friends vs aquaintances.

Are you the same with every teacher or every A-dullt in your life?

So, it pays to have a variety of 'social facades' to wear.

People like to 'push up' against each other to establish where they are in the pecking order. Will they lead or follow. Be the center of attention or the audience.

Also women supposedly decide which car is bought nnnnnnnn (?) 75% of the time? They actually buy 40 > 50% but influence which vehicles their men get too.

So...(waht isss my point anyways?) they are rumoured to have all sorts of faces & angles besides the curves? They have more 'faces' than men?

No doubt they really don't 'get' to use all those faces until they're older & working & having the chance to run their own lives? Where they're the 'captains' of their own lives?

Of course a lot of a-dullts are wacky...maybe because they got too stupid in school? Some folkszszs's faces do become set that way?

Just like their ma warned them it would!

Errr sumpin'?

quote:Originally posted by moonmeister:

Everybody is somewhat different in every new situation? I mean aren't people different with their various relatives young/old close/distant? Same with being with close friends vs aquaintances.

Are you the same with every teacher or every A-dullt in your life?

So, it pays to have a variety of 'social facades' to wear.

People like to 'push up' against each other to establish where they are in the pecking order. Will they lead or follow. Be the center of attention or the audience.

Also women supposedly decide which car is bought nnnnnnnn (?) 75% of the time? They actually buy 40 > 50% but influence which vehicles their men get too.

So...(waht isss my point anyways?) they are rumoured to have all sorts of faces & angles besides the curves? They have more 'faces' than men?

No doubt they really don't 'get' to use all those faces until they're older & working & having the chance to run their own lives? Where they're the 'captains' of their own lives?

Of course a lot of a-dullts are wacky...maybe because they got too stupid in school? Some folkszszs's faces do become set that way?

Just like their ma warned them it would!

Errr sumpin'?

Haha, yeah. I suppose that's a good way to look at it.

This problem isn't going to go away. I'll deal with that. I'm not sure that I need any more elaboration on that.

I'll just deal with it as it comes along. I can do that for myself. Plus, it adds some what of excitment into my life.

quote:Originally posted by just a name:

This is a quote better left un-attributed:

"Purity is the opposite of integrity. The worst thing yoou can do to someone is make them ashamed of their own complexity."

Don't try and hammer yourself into other people's conceptual frameworks. Its like knocking a square peg into a circular hole. You might be able to do it if you try hard enough, but you will lose something in the process. You are a unique human being. Be complex, be contradictory, be whatever the fuck you want to be, but do not, ever be upset that you aren't what someone else says you're suppose to be.

Best wishes.

After all, when it comes down to it, we're just all trying to fill a void. Whether your filler is complex, crazy, whatever...it doesn't really matter.

My theory on life is that you have to do things and stuff.

I'm sorry Lauren, but I've sorta gone into 'dumbass jock' mode lately. It makes me happy, and my life uncomplicated

We have gone in the opposite direktons! oh noez!

That's what you get for going back to school and leaving me all alone... in the big bad world... /cry

Get more exercise, man. It really helps. Self esteem and stress relief and whatnot.

So here's my philosophy. We hold within our hand the tools to make our own faith. Sometimes we don't really know what to do with them, but when we start workin' away and shit, something guides us. Like this instinct towards self-improvement and happiness. Try new things, let yourself actively drift until you find that golden thread that you can follow to a new self.

Remember, do things that make you happy. Analyze what makes you unhappy. Work to change that. Are you disconnected from people? Are you lonely? Does life seem to bear down upon your brow? Realize that you can resolve these issues for the most part of your own initiative. Perhaps see a therapist if that is necessary, but do not let anyone force you into it. Don't rely on drugs unless you really want to. At least not for long.

Most importantly, let go. Let go of your fears and worries. They just burden you, ya know?

I don't really practice what I preach, but i have before and that's when I've been happy.

When it comes down to it, life is all about perspective; I find that the optimum perspective for me is unreachable without faith...we all have an endless void in ourselves that this material world can't fill no matter how hard we try, but if we just let that thing called a conscience guide us and act on it, we can find happiness with or without material possessions.

I do very much like how you explained that though, GWUN.