My current girlfriend cheated on her ex with my roommate. No intercouse, but close enough. My roommate got hurt in this, as he was unaware. I am now dating her (hur I'm dumb ok so what). Her and I are both excellent friends with my roommate and I do not worry about him in that way. But, she still has contact with her ex. which is normal I suppose... EXCEPT, she has not yet told him about me, or that she is not available.

This of couse leads him to nag her to get back with him, etc. Things I don't need to hear about. Basically she has a fall back plan in him, something I told her from the start she could not have.

Should I be firm and tell her to either let him know she's seeing someone or say goodbye to me? Should I take her not having told him as a sign or her not being fully committed to me, or simply as a sign she is weak and unable to bring herself to do this.

What would you do in my shoes? It's been nearly two months without him having the slightest clue she's involved with another guy. Should I press the issue, or rely on to do this. Either way, considering the circumstance, he needs to know.

as a side note, anyone care to share some signs that a sig other is being unfaithful. I don't believe she is, but at times I notice things that seem... off.

Thanks.

Go with your gut feeling.

If you can put up with it, keep her around. But if it's bothering you, have a serious talk about it with her. If you don't think she'll change, leave her... although, that's much easier said than done.

I say tell her to tell him or its over. Don't say it in a controlling way. Say something more along the lines of

'I like you but I feel that by you not telling your ex, you are being unfaithful to me. I want to stay with you but if you don't think this is going to work or aren't commited this relationship should end before either one of us gets hurt.'

[This message has been edited by MajorBlueBalls (edited 09-29-2006).]

Do you KNOW this dude is a fallback guy, or are you assuming that? The situation sounds familiar, actually. When me and my last girlfriend hooked up, we both agreed not to tell her ex for a while, as he completely hates me and we didn't want the drama. Don't be seeing stuff where there isn't anything to worry about.

I suppose they say "once a cheater, always a cheater," but I dunno. People are complicated - don't apply general rules to individual cases, unless the facts fit it.