Anyone else find them giving advice anywhere on totse, whether it be here, BLTC, etc., and realising in the same situation, they'd be taking the cowards way out themselves and that the advice you give is good but you'd be too much of a pansy to follow it yourself?

All the time, my friend. I'm finally on the ass end of it, as you have seen.

quote:Originally posted by Garfunkel:

Anyone else find them giving advice anywhere on totse, whether it be here, BLTC, etc., and realising in the same situation, they'd be taking the cowards way out themselves and that the advice you give is good but you'd be too much of a pansy to follow it yourself?

For about 2 years, yes. That changed a few months ago though when I took the full cowards way out and failed. Since then, I've been trying to share experience rather than give advice. I still find myself 'preaching' a little bit though...which doesn't help me or the person I'm trying to reach.

All the time! It's a feeling all parents know...the dread 'do as i say, don't do as i do' syndrome.

quote:Originally posted by jackketch:

All the time! It's a feeling all parents know...the dread 'do as i say, don't do as i do' syndrome.

My dad's an awesome parent...he never gave speeches, never gave advice...he just went about living and has only given advice when I've asked for it, and he has ALWAYS been spot on.

My mom is the 'Do as I say, not as I do' type though...she can be a real cunt, but she's still generally pretty cool.

quote:Originally posted by Hexadecimal:

My dad's an awesome parent...he never gave speeches, never gave advice...he just went about living and has only given advice when I've asked for it, and he has ALWAYS been spot on.

.

One of my greatest regrets is knowing i have never been or could ever have a been a good a dad as my dad was

However i must add a caveat..i was once informed by a 'counsellor' that i had been abused as a child because my dad was too perfect a dad!

LMFAO...I still stand steadfast in my opinion that counselors, as you brits call them, are useless.

Edit: And don't worry too much about being a 'good dad'...your kids are going to love you from 1-12, then hate you from 13-Whatever age they are when they grow up. When they've grown up, they're going to love ya again.

[This message has been edited by Hexadecimal (edited 09-29-2006).]

quote:Originally posted by jackketch:

One of my greatest regrets is knowing i have never been or could ever have a been a good a dad as my dad was

However i must add a caveat..i was once informed by a 'counsellor' that i had been abused as a child because my dad was too perfect a dad!



So does this mean that me not having a father will make me a kick-ass dad? *anticipatory grin*...

CaspeR

Hmm...I'm going to stop advising people in areas of life where I've fucked up. I don't want to end up like my dad who does that to an extremely annoying degree. Good thread.

Lol... I think everyone does that.

Nobody's perfect afterall...

quote:Originally posted by gadzooks:

Lol... I think everyone does that.

Nobody's perfect afterall...

QFT

And it's so much easier to give advice than take it.

I give advice along the same lines as I live myself. I don't tell people what I think they should do, but what I'd do in that situation. I've made some mistakes in life, but I learned from them and overall I'm doing very well. I've helped my fiance through a lot of shit since we've met, and she told me that she has become the person she's always wanted to be because of my advice. I've been told to become a psychologist because of my natural ability to analyze and root out other people's problems, and offer ideas of how to go about dealing with those problems. Not a lot of people like hearing the truth though.

I tell people what I know I should do if I were in that situation, but I probably wouldn't do.

Although lately, I've been taking my own advice, as I've realized how stupid it is to do things you know won't help.

I've found I'm better at picking apart situations for people, then letting them realize what they need to do. At least, one friend told me that everything I said was pretty much dead on. Maybe that was a one time thing though, I dunno.

i think when i started using totse (about 2 1/2 years ago), i began to realize how much better a lot of people could do if they took some of the wiser advice given here. i often had things to say that i knew i wouldn't follow if it were my turn to make decisions. from an outsider's perspective, however, i could see the value in treating some situations with a bit of emotional detachment in order to be practical, and get closer to what you want. so, in a nutshell, i now mostly give advice that i would actually take if i were in the situation.

I won't preach it if I won't practice it. I don't advise others to do things that I wouldn't do myself, or that I haven't done in the past.

Word. I find my life works rather well when I follow my own advice.