Firstly, my boyfriend and I got into a pretty wicked fight on the weekend. We resolved it and everything, but I really feel like it messed up our relationship a lot and I don't know if it can go back to how it was. Problem is, we're going away this weekend, I'm almost positive that something is going to spark some sort of conflict, and then we'll be stuck with eachother for the remainder of the trip, hours away from home.

And not going just means I have no faith in the relationship. Which, right now, I have very little of. I don't really know what I'm asking here. I've already decided that if the trip goes badly I'm just going to end it, which makes it somewhat of a very complicated situation. Eeeep.

And secondly, it's his birthday tomorrow. I haven't gotten anything yet. I probably should. Any suggestions? And yes, I checked past threads, they're mostly gift suggestions for females. I don't want to get him something really... mushy or anything. If all else fails I'll take him out to fancy dinner this weekend. But I need to actually put in some effort pondering first. Hence, totse.

It's okay to have lost some faith in the relationship after a fight, but if you want it to work you're going to have to work to make things up, and likewise give him a chance to do the same. Things will probably not be the same, but you can use this to make your relationship even stronger.

As for his birthday, well, sex is always nice, i hear. :P

Yeah, you should definitely see how the trip goes before you break up with him...

As for presents, why not buy him tickets to see...The Oilers, or whatever sports team he likes. Is he into drugs? I just bought my boy a wicked stash bottle, that looks exactly like a full bottle of Sprite, but you can pull the top off and fill it with whatever you want, lol.

Well, first of all what was the fight over? another woman? Another man?

I say you should wait until the trip is over and then see where it goes from there.

Yeah, I am waiting until after the trip to make a decision. The fight was ridiculous. We both just started bringing up old stupid shit and it just got blown way outta proportion. Did make me wonder why we're still going out if so many freaking things irritate us about eachother.

Oilers tix ain't a bad idea. But it's a little late for that, and I hear they're not being sold or something retarded though. AND I'm broke.

Sometimes my husband and I will get into a dumb fight that gets out of hand and I'll lose faith in our relationship for a while... But then things just go back to normal and my fears seem stupid.

Have things been going downhill all along or is this just about the one fight?

Nothing says 'I love you' like anal sex! Why not make it a 'scene'? You know, like cook for him naked, kneel at his feet while he eats...get that whole domination thang going.

Don't loose your faith in this so much. You should definately go on that trip with him before you decide on anything. Try talking to him to try relieving some of the tension. Pehaps you could use the time on your trip to do so. Things like this happen often in serious relationships and just result to make them stronger, you can't have one without the other.

As far as his birthday goes, I think you should just take him to do something he loves doing and be nice to him without putting any stress on him.

I'm really not very good at this type of advice, I'm sure you're older and have more experiance with this type of thing. I'm just trying to be logical and help in whatever way possible. I'm sure you'll find better. Good luck, deary.

Just talk to him and tell him how you really feel and where your coming from if you guys argue. If you really dont want argue with him then just keep what you want to argue to yourself, dont know if this helps, but i hope so. good luck with your relationship

fuck double post sorry

[This message has been edited by nexota (edited 09-28-2006).]

quote:Originally posted by jackketch:

Nothing says 'I love you' like anal sex! Why not make it a 'scene'? You know, like cook for him naked, kneel at his feet while he eats...get that whole domination thang going.

I think you're way off base! Nothing says "I love you" like letting a guy get busy on a little cunnilingus! Or better yet, letting the guy clean up the after dinner dishes! *Prays that this will one day happen*

quote:Originally posted by jackketch:

Nothing says 'I love you' like anal sex! Why not make it a 'scene'? You know, like cook for him naked, kneel at his feet while he eats...get that whole domination thang going.

Qft. Best birthday present ever. Please do this for the man.

Lol, jack, it'll be damn cold day in hell before I turn into the submissive type. That post did give me a good idea though. I can make cookies! I make awesomely delicious cookies. Cookies followed with lots of sex. Yyyyeah.

I'll probably update on monday about what's happening. Either I'll be crying and rageful and stabbing things, or I'll be clam happy.

I've come to realize I really hate relationships. Make you too vulnerable and junk. I hate that. I'm supposed to be all emotionless and cold and whatnot, this is all turning me into a big mess. Not a huge mess, but still a mess. GAH.

Man you can have sex any day! I say eat those cookies while sipping delicious hot chocolate and watching a cool movie.

I recommend "Pride and Prejuduce"(Hot HOT guy in that one) or "V for Vendetta" (Mesmerising)

quote:Originally posted by Xiao Mei:

Man you can have sex any day! I say eat those cookies while sipping delicious hot chocolate and watching a cool movie.

I recommend "Pride and Prejuduce"(Hot HOT guy in that one) or "V for Vendetta" (Mesmerising)

Ugh, Jane Austen... no hot guy in the world could make Jane Austen interesting. And we already watched V. Awesome movie. We have a sickeningly romantic hotel room for this weekend though, loft bedroom, fireplace, jacuzzi in room... ugh. The hell was I thinking... but meh, that'll be good for cookie eating/hot chocolate drinking/ movie watching, with the mountains just outside the window.

I'm turning into a girl!!

YOU haven't seen the strangely hot Colin Firth, now have you? I watch british movies constantly, becauser there is inevitibly a sexy man in there somewhere and my husband never suspects.

My husband: Are you watching that boring ass british movie AGAIN?

Me: It's historically interesting!

*zones out while having a 19th century style sexual fantasy*

I just googled him. Definitely not foxy. For shame, Xiao! Heh, kidding.

I have a new conundrum. I'm sitting here at home, alone, drinking bad wine, raking my zen garden and posting on totse, after my boyfriend blatantly disregarded my desire to do something (ie I need to get laid). So I'm sad.

You women always put a funny spin on things.

"Hey you, whatcha doing?"

"Nothing"

*Thinks to self: Omg, he doesn't want me anymore!*

Seriously bugs me when women bring up dated shit in arguments. I don't care what I did 12 months ago. Ooh, ooh, while I'm on a rant. I also LOVE it when they think they know everything about you and what you're doing.

For example, I'll look at a car and rate it in my mind and she'll assume I was staring at the driver or the passengers. Wow, now I'm bringing up old shit.

See what happens? Noone brings up old shit til you do! ...!

Just one more thing - Please, don't make any decisions about your relationship without him. It's something that's going to affect the both of you, so it's only fair if you talk to him about it. I know a lot of people like to just go off and talk to all their friends about it (who, of course, only know one side of things) and then all of a sudden return to their partner with the conclusion that they should break up. That seriously bugs the fuck out of me. I mean, if you're breaking up with someone, that means you have a problem with them, not your friends. so talk to them about it instead. [/rant]

(I would kill for a weekend with my girlfriend in a hotel room like the one you two got... *glares jealously*)

But I've talked to him a LOT. I've barely talked to my friends. I told one friend that me and him are having problems, but no major details. He and I have discussed this to death, and it helped a little I guess, but not really. And I've talked to him about whether or not we should even go on this trip, and we both agreed that we might as well do it. So I'm not sitting here bottling everything. It's been talked over. And it's still not helping. Which is why I used the word conundrum.

Well what all problems are you having besides the fight?

And aren't you like 16? How the hell did you swing going away for the weekend together??

[This message has been edited by Xiao Mei (edited 09-28-2006).]

quote:Originally posted by Xiao Mei:

Well what all problems are you having besides the fight?

And aren't you like 16? How the hell did you swing going away for the weekend together??



Almost 19. And I think basically the entire problem is that it's just not working anymore, and now I have to pretend to be happy girlfriend for his birthday today, and then extra happy girlfriend for 3 more days. Ugh.

By chance is your name ashley? Because that would be awesome for me that is

If the wknd don't go well...but you still have a little hope? Tell him that next wknd you're spending with the ol' meister having a Trailer Park Boys Marathon! 'K?

See if it makes him terrible jealous or wha'?

quote:Originally posted by Demoiselle:

Lol, jack, it'll be damn cold day in hell before I turn into the submissive type.

.

Exactly! You sub'ing for once might actually help your relationship and he'd get some of what he's been pining for .

Cookies....hmmmmmm *thinks*.....yep, that works too!

I wish I had some cookies...

quote:Originally posted by Xiao Mei:

I wish I had some cookies...

Hmmm cookies and trojans...and i ain't talking Internet Explorer here, people.

as its been said, its okay to lose some faith after a "wicked" fight. It's happend to me before. Just make sure to talk to him about it, you need to get this out of the way. And if you dont, then it could "haunt" you forever. Also: dont bother to end the realationship because of a fight, its just worthless to do that.

[Kaz]

No my name isn't Ashley.

And I'm taking him out to a super fancy restaurant at the Banff Springs Hotel this weekend. I figure that'll be good enough. And if not... meh. I don't really ask for much in return.

Edit: And moonie, I am so in for a trailer park boys marathon. Bubbles is one of my top 5 heroes.

[This message has been edited by Demoiselle (edited 09-28-2006).]

Get him some coffee. 8)

...If your at the point where you have no faith in your relationship then it's time to end it. Let’s say you two have a great time together, who cares? Enough got you to the point of thinking it's going nowhere, seems that positive things would only delay the inevitable at this point. Unless there is some critical dimension to your relationship you did not mention.

quote:Originally posted by Demoiselle:

now I have to pretend to be happy girlfriend for his birthday today, and then extra happy girlfriend for 3 more days. Ugh.

Girls like you are retarded. Why can't you just be actually happy. Girls always, ALWAYS, linger on stupid trivial things. It could be a fight, or just one little thing the guy unwittingly says and you crazies dwell on it for days on end.

btw, you already know you shouldn't be with this guy. End it before this weekend if you want to save the both of you more emotional turmoil later on. Yeah, I'm serious.

Oh yeah, end it...give him a nice, real nice, Bday.

Least you could do is give him 3 > 4 goodbye Bj'szszs!