I don't know if I'm being a bitch, or if im being in the least bit rational about this. I dunno.

I've been with said girlfriend for about 4 months now, but we were seeing each other for a while before that. She is pretty much the longest relationship I've had, which is really sad.The thing is, she was with a lot of guys before me. I lost my virginity to her.

Frequently she makes references to "guys she's hooked up with" and shit like that, and it fucking kills me. Obviously, I know that I can't expect her to not have been with any guys ever, but it just kills me to think about her with other guys.

Imagine someone you really care about- someone you really love. Imagine them with someone else, kissing someone else, moaning on top of someone else. Imagine them looking up into someone else's eyes, and falling asleep on someone else's chest, and biting someone elses neck. Imagine that feeling EVERY FUCVKING TIME THEY BRING THAT SHIT UP, and imagine that disgusting feeling in your chest- like someone working a screwdriver deep inside your gut.

I haven't told her explicitly how much I hate this, only because I thought it would be kind of self-explanitory. Every time I even mention another girl (even one that I haven't been the least bit romantically involved with) she gets all pissy and says that I should go do something with HER.

It just fucking hurts. That's all I can say. I'm wondering how everyone else deals with that. Like, if you like someone that much, how can you stand the fact that you might just be a number? That someone will get fucking bored of you one day, and then you'll the the next one they're talking ahit about.

I really miss being a loveless, sadistic bastard. I was for such a long time, and it was so much less frustrating than this. I think I'm meant to be a hermit.

It would be so much easier for me if I could think of her as just another girl. SOme bitch that I could just hook up with and then leave. But I can't, and it just fucks with my head. To tell you the truth it makes me want to fucking sceam at her every time she does. But I can't.

I'm not sure if there are really any questions to answer here, this was just mostly for venting, becasue im feeling pretty shitty right now. Comments/replies not necessary, but if anyone has advice/ encouragement, that'd sure be cool.

CaspeR

Tell her that she's messing with your head, and that if she doesn't stop it you'll walk. It's completely not fair on you with her bringing up other people she's had sex with.

I'm too drunk to read the whole thing...

But I think I get the jist of it...

She should not be mentioning past affairs in your presence.

That shit ain't right.

I have a rule, a "don't ask, don't tell" rule.

I never once mentioned any past sexual experiences with my ex, and she never did with me (thankfully).

Except when STD's got involved... that's an exception...

Still, no need to go into detail.

Tell her that it hurts when she does it and that you love her and don't want to be reminded of her past but that you love her for your present and future.

Then hold her in your arms and wait for her to start crying. Incidentally 'once a slut always a slut' is not true for women.

quote:Originally posted by spinnersean:

'once a slut always a slut' is not true for women.

Negatory!

She's testing you. Stop being so weak. Show indifference, non-neediness, etc.

I had the same exact problem man.

You eventually have to learn to deal with it.

Built a bridge and get over it.

quote:Originally posted by Shayde:

She's testing you. Stop being so weak. Show indifference, non-neediness, etc.

This much is obvious. It clearly is working with fucking with your head, and she clearly realizes that she 100% controls the relationship. At this rate she'll be cheating on you very shortly and will soon leave you for some total douchebag that ends up beating her.

quote:Originally posted by Rizzo in a box:

I had the same exact problem man.

You eventually have to learn to deal with it.

Why not just tell the woman to shutup and stop mentioning it?

EDIT: you're all making a big deal out of it. One guys getting himself all upset and worked up over it. Other guys are suggesting you play mind games back, TAKE THAT FEMINAZIS! Why not just tell her to stop mentioning it? Easy. Direct. Manly

[This message has been edited by rabbitweed (edited 09-27-2006).]

quote:Originally posted by Rizzo in a box:

I had the same exact problem man.

yeah. rabbitweed had it.

tell her not to do it. the end.

My ex bf used to do that all the time. For a year and 4 months, he'd bring it up once-5 times a week. Every single time I told him to stop, then he'd guilt trip me.

Not sure about your gf, but my bf was just doing it to hurt me, because he knew :-P (and based on other events in the relationship)

Self control, there is no concievable reason that she cannot stop

Dude, I don't know if you read my thread but, yeah I know exactly what you mean.

At the oddest moments, whenever her ex pops into my head, and what they've done together... I wanna break something. And yeah I wanna scream at her like... "Argh, why couldn't you wait for me you dumbass bitch? You're perfect, you're the girl meant for me, how could you be with HIM? He hasn't appreciated you nearly as much as I do..."

It's how much I like her that kills it. Thinge feels so right with her, but there's that one thing that just destroys things and pull some trigger in my head. I'm trying to get over it, before I'll give my virginity to her. I haven't told her how it makes me feel but... Wrah, I don't know if I should show that I have the balls to express myself like that, or if I should play as if I don't care.

Check my thread out for further details should you be interested, the virginity one...

how many guys she had? did they buttsecks? did they creampie her or cum on her face? did she do things with them that she wont let you do?

just go and fuck lots of other people

it's a bitchy, attention-whoring, stupid thing to do to you. i know the feeling you're talking about, it fucking sucks. and so what, she can give it out but not take it? yeah, you need to tell her that it bothers the hell out of you and makes you feel physically sick and it's not ok. you have no interest in her past relationships/fuck buddies and you don't need to hear about it. it's not fair to you.

My (now ex) gf did this randomly, except she went into in-depth stories of their relationship, and other's reactions/etc. That really, really sucked. Besides cheating/etc. few other things make you feel as low and worthless as that, really.

So I brought it up with her and how Ifelt about it, she said she had no idea it made me feel like that and didn't really realize when she was going on about that. :\

Meh...I need to deal with it. If she keeps it up, I'll break up with her or something, but basically I think I just need to man up.

I came all over her face today, so I feel a lot better now. Cool.

CaspeR

Just bring it up, goddamn. Easiest way. If she's a bitch and can't understand how it makes you feel and/or refuses to stop, break up with her. Somehow I can't see anyone just breaking up with someone over something like this without bringing it up first, at least, this is annoying but nothing that can't be brought up easily enough, IMO.