so, recently, i have stopped having desires for my boyfriend sexually. i am still horny and want sex, but whenever we are alone together i am bored and just want to go to sleep or something. we can be having a great time together, then the second sex is put into action its like BAM! boredom.

i just really hate this. things are going so great between us now, and all of a sudden my desire for him waning. he and i have been dating for a year and a half. i just need to know if this is 'normal' and just a phase, or if it is likely that things are going to get worse and no longer want him at all.

argh. and thanks.

It happens sometimes...have you just grown bored of the normal routine? Maybe get a strap-on, some toys involved, whatever...

I got bored of my ex too. I loved him so much, but he just didn't turn me on anymore. For me, it was because I found his ignorance to be extremely unattractive.

I remember you posting (more than once) that your boyfriend doesn't satisfy you at all. That would definitely be a big part of it. So I guess you should talk to him about it, and experiment together to see what is most pleasurable for you.

With my ex, we broke up (due to other circumstances) before it became a big issue, so I can't offer an advice on how to get over it...

So what do you do when he tries to have sex with you?

Apparntly its not that uncommon because its been happening with my girlfriend. At least she is just not in the mood same times as me. I mean we still fuck and there are times that we both are into it but still its a LOT less then before. It could be just bad coinensidence since we have been seeing less because of getting caught drinking together and all which is what im hoping as well as her working now. That maybe its just because before we were together a lot more so we had more chance to be horny together. It really sucks i havent gotten a blow job in weeks and in the past two months weve had sex maybe 5-8 times(we used to have sex a few times a week). She says she still likes me and is interested in me that way just she doesnt get horny around me as much.

Have you been thinking hard about something latly, some problem between you two or a big change in your life? Because i think with my girlfriend it Could also be partially due to her mind being on me leaving for military for 5 months and all? Sorry for hijacking thread.

we do have toys involved, so that idea is already being put into effect.

we have talked about him not pleasuring me, and the other night he tried for the first time in months to go down on me the other night. it was ok, but nothing mind blowing.

and xiao, when he tries to have sex there are 3 things i will do. either say no, and that be that, give him a pity blow job, or just have sex anyway. meh :/

i just don't know what to do. especially since i keep having dreams of someone else, its just really fucking with my head. i just hate that the guy i love i have no real desire for anymore, but i would kill to fuck the guy who lives 2 1/2 hours away and i only care for as a friend.

Meh, I hear marriage has the same effect. Maybe that's why Gene Simmons is still "happily unmarried".

quote:Originally posted by oral fixation:

we do have toys involved, so that idea is already being put into effect.

we have talked about him not pleasuring me, and the other night he tried for the first time in months to go down on me the other night. it was ok, but nothing mind blowing.

and xiao, when he tries to have sex there are 3 things i will do. either say no, and that be that, give him a pity blow job, or just have sex anyway. meh :/

i just don't know what to do. especially since i keep having dreams of someone else, its just really fucking with my head. i just hate that the guy i love i have no real desire for anymore, but i would kill to fuck the guy who lives 2 1/2 hours away and i only care for as a friend.

Hmmm, sounds like you might be growing apart from him emotionally, and the physical closeness is suffering first. How often do you two talk deeply about shit?

Edit: Also, if the relationship is stagnant, that's about as love-crushing as cheating.

[This message has been edited by Hexadecimal (edited 09-26-2006).]

idk, i really don't.

i know i love him, but i am starting to fear that it may only be a friendship love. he really is my best friend. i can say and do anything around him, no matter how retarded it is. i just don't know what to do. i hope this is all a phase and next week i will be ravaging him again instead of just wanting to hang out and watch tv or go for dinner.

I had the exact same thing with my ex. It set in around the same time (about 18 months) and I kept assuming it would go away, 3 months later it hadn't and I broke up with her. Apparantly she had no idea it was coming. I still love her, but sexually.

Just give it time. If it doesn't change, and you still feel the same way in a month or two, then it might be time for you to find someone else.

meh i just wish this wasn't my first relationship. it sucks being 18 and having no idea what to do when a relationship turns sour. lack of experience is really fucking me over right now.

You're only 18, girl.

Too young to be stuck down with someone. Most likely, you're emotionally done with him. It's over. Get used to it, and break it off.

Find that other guy, and rock his world. See if that's what you've been missing.

There are always men out there. But, though, your time really is running out to find the right one.

i dont know. honestly, i really don't know any guys that i would be interested in. most of the guys around here are stoners and dont shower all that often, it bothers me. i just think that if i do end things i will just end up in my room all that time and have nothing to do. don't get me wrong, that is not that reason i am with him, i am just saying that's how it is. i really suck socially, i can talk to people once we know each other, but i such at introducing myself and going to strange places alone other than the gym. urgh....this is all too confusing.

so pretty much, mixing together my love for him, whether platonic or more, and my fear of being alone for a really time i feel fucked if i do and fucked if i don't. or rather...not fucked .

edit: and you saying my time is running out is just making it worse :/

[This message has been edited by oral fixation (edited 09-26-2006).]

Stop being a stupid cunt-leech and go fuck someone else.

quote:Originally posted by oral fixation:

i feel fucked if i do and fucked if i don't. or rather...not fucked

So it would seem.

Time isn't running out. Shit, 18? What, you want to be married when you're 20 or something? Popping kids out from 21? You've got like another 10 years.

I'm going to take a hardline stance here on this, unless you want to marry this guy, move on and find someone else.

quote:Originally posted by oral fixation:

i dont know. honestly, i really don't know any guys that i would be interested in. most of the guys around here are stoners and dont shower all that often, it bothers me. i just think that if i do end things i will just end up in my room all that time and have nothing to do. don't get me wrong, that is not that reason i am with him, i am just saying that's how it is. i really suck socially, i can talk to people once we know each other, but i such at introducing myself and going to strange places alone other than the gym. urgh....this is all too confusing.

Again, you're only 18. Live a little. Really.

quote:Originally posted by oral fixation:

so pretty much, mixing together my love for him, whether platonic or more, and my fear of being alone for a really time i feel fucked if i do and fucked if i don't. or rather...not fucked .

Sucks don't it? Could be worse, though. You could have gotten married and have had kids.

quote:Originally posted by oral fixation:

edit: and you saying my time is running out is just making it worse :/

Because I'm on this forum to make YOU feel better, right?

Yeah, just tell me that you want me to lie to you next time then, ok?

^ ok Gus, make up your mind. should i live a little or find the right guy? you can't keep saying two opposite things as advice, that's just stupid.

quote:Originally posted by oral fixation:

^ ok Gus, make up your mind. should i live a little or find the right guy? you can't keep saying two opposite things as advice, that's just stupid.

I think you need to live a little to find the right guy.

Fuck someone else. Problem fucking solved. Does no one listen to me? You can still be with the dude, just... you know, with another dude, sexually.

quote:Originally posted by another pint:

I think you need to live a little to find the right guy.

I'm glad SOMEONE understood me.

You need to go out and find out, exactly, what you NEED in a guy.

And don't try and say you know. You don't. You know you don't. You might think you do, but really you don't.

No one knows for sure, but you'll know what you don't need.

And what you don't need is a lack of sexual feeling.

Our first is usually your worst to break off, but it's usually the least-ideal relationship.

Do what you will, as this is merely advice. You asked, I gave.

quote:Originally posted by H4T3:

Fuck someone else. Problem fucking solved. Does no one listen to me? You can still be with the dude, just... you know, with another dude, sexually.

Yes... but then she would be cheating. And I don't think she wants to be doing that. Actually, what am I talking about, I have no idea what she wants. I'll just assume, even if it'll make an ass out of you and me.

I don't really think she cares. Some people keep certain actions visible within social constructs, but once they're out of it, alone and by themselves, they know the truth. You can hide from everybody else in your infidelity, but not from you.

I do drugs.

i don't want to cheat on him, i know that would hurt him too much. but, i'm not going to lie, i really want to experience other people. but i don't want to lose him. and like i said, i don't think there is anyone else to experience. this all sounds so horrible of me, and it is making me feel like a bad person. i am just very confused.

I lost interest in sex when I was pregnant, so that sucked. What was even worse was that every other woman I talked to was totally horny when pregnant, but I was just...Blah. And then of course my husband was for some reason completely aroused by my fat ass pregnant shape...Which was weird.

Anyway, you're 18 years old and you've been tied with a guy who sucks in bed since you were 16! Of COURSE you're getting tired of him...Not to mention that he's a complete selfish baby. It will be hard at first to break up with him, but I guarantee that after a while it will be a RELIEF. You might be without a boyfriend for a while, but really...Just focus on your own life. College is FUN, I mean I had a great time whern I went!

i don't know. so far for me, college has been boring. the only fun thing is being on my own, but even that is getting old because taxis are expensive. i really just don't know thaat many people. and even if i wanted to go out with my friends ((roommates)) they really only ever go over to my boyfriend's place to hang out with him and all his dorm buddies.

i should have never introduced them all

Then I suggest you take a long walk.

Does the town you live in have good public transportation? Are there any places within walking distance? I used to walk everywhere when I was in college...In fact I still walk most places, except in summer because it's too damn hot.

You should find a couple of cool places to go and then just hang out there. For example: I hang out at Barnes N Nobles and read, or at the library. I also go to the pet store and to the movies(I bring my own snacks and I go to matinees so it's not AS expensive) I bet your college has an AWESOME library and there's probably at least one coffee shop nearby.

I do all of that stuff alone, now that my daughter is in school. I like being alone, though...I know some people don't.:/

i like being alone sometimes, but not others. i get lonely sometimes, and there is nothing better than when i am sad and depressed than to have someone to hold me in their arms. i was so depressed before i met vic, it was horrible. i don't want to be that way again.

[This message has been edited by oral fixation (edited 09-26-2006).]

It sounds more depressing being with him.:/

I don't know what to tell you, I mean it sounds like he and your relationship both suck, but then it's easy to see that from the outside. You gotta do what you gotta do and if it's your perogative to stay in a relationship just because you're afraid you might be sad and alone...Well have at it.

its not as much as i am scared to be alone, i am scared to be without him. i would lose my boyfriend and my best friend in the same blow. i know he and i wouldn't be able to stay friends, it would be too awkward and we wouldn't know how to act around each other. i really do love him, and i don't want him to not be in my life. he is acting so much nicer towards me now and is really making an effort. its just all horrible timing...

When I lost my first boyfriend it was awful...I really had no friends besides him and we'd been together for 3 years. But less than a year after I broke up with him, I was with my husband and so much happier than I ever thought possible.

Well first off have you told him that you dream of other guys or not? Because with my girlfriend I asked her and made her promise if she was thinking of anyone else sexually to tell me because i wont get upset. And I mean i want her to and wouldnt get upset but i cant tell her the real reason becuase she would never tell me. If you havent told him tell him he might want to know it is his life to. With me that part is really important because the ONLY reason im staying here in this state is for my girlfriend who i love so much, otherwise id be picking a differnt type of job one that i could go to say hawaii or asia, or europe or somewhere else instead of just boring ass place im in. So if shes fantasing about other guys and it probably wont work i really need to know. He might not need to know quite as bad as i do but he probably would really like to know your dreaming about other guys. I wish I got pity blow jobs or pity sex your doing a good thing for him because the fact im barly getting any from my girlfriend has ruined masterbation as well since I always used her as the basis

If I were you, I would take some times to figure things out. If you do that and decide that you really do love him that way but you want to experience new things, then ask if ya'll can take some time apart and have your experiences. Then if you still love him get back with him. This may help your relationship in the long run. But if you decide you don't love him, then you have to end it. I know it will hurt him, but leading him on is worse.

acid trip ...

let your soul figure it out

I feel like your boyfriend in the situation. Fuck.

CaspeR

I was feeling like that towards my girlfriend for a couple of weeks, but then we had a massive fight and it made me really realise how much i love her. Basically what im saying is. You kind of have to lose him to see if you appreciate him and are just a little bored, or you really want someone else.

quote:Originally posted by CaSp3R88:

I feel like your boyfriend in the situation. Fuck.

CaspeR

except i don't bring up others guys i have hooked up with in the past....because there were no other guys. he was my first kiss. and even if i had been with other guys, i would not bring them up in front of him. i am not trying to hurt him and he doesn't really know much about this. i told him am a little bored of things and that it would be great for a suprise here and there, a little romance, or just a show of raunchy lust...whatever. just something new. i told him that yesterday, but still no sign of change...idk...

He sounds like he just REALLY sucks in bed and is too selfish to do anything about it.

Also he gets ZITS on his ASS, which is just...Nasty.

My ex boyfriend sucked in bed too, so much so that I never really knew that sex could be fun until I met my husband. Now it's like I look foward to sex pretty much every day and I always feel happy afterwards. I like just making out with him...Something I detested with my ex.(He had bad breath)

i know sex can be enjoyable...but with him, especially lately, its just not. its just like something is missing, but i don't know what.

Do youse twose ever read some of the zillion thexxth/relationship columns that be all online, like? I usually get a variety through jorlingrabbe? From regualar/alt papers & colleges.

They're often funny & always interesting. JOrlin only links to the occaisional columns that catch his eye so it's best to search out your own. Dan Savage (Savage Love) is weirdly interesting... Yet, various college papers seem to always have some hoteous girl with a column on the luuuuvvv.

quote:Originally posted by oral fixation:

i know sex can be enjoyable...but with him, especially lately, its just not. its just like something is missing, but i don't know what.



You're tired of him...Understandably so. He's an asshole anyway, so why are you even still with him??