When I was 12 years old, I moved from my mom's house to my dad's because I wanted to spend more time with him. We always used to have a lot of fun together. Shortly after I moved in, though, our relationship started going downhill due to his irresponsibility and the woman he started dating. Recently, our relationship has become much worse.

In the past six months, my dad has bought a $145,000 condo, a $30,000 car, and a $10,000 motorcycle, and yet, six weeks ago when I asked him to help me buy a computer for college, he said he "didn't have the money". This alone wouldn't really bother me, it's a typical example of my dad's selfishness but I've gotten used to that. However, the computer was just the start.

Because I had moved in with my dad and my sister stayed with my mom, neither of my parents paid child support. They each had one kid; it was a fair deal. Up until then, my dad had been paying child support to my mom for both of us. Now that I have graduated and started college, my mother is again legally entitled to child support. Let me explain about my mom, she is an amazing woman who is battling cancer as well as having an alcoholic husband who is newly unemployed, yet she was able to buy my sister a car and help with my college tuition. I didn't see a single cent for college from my dad, however.

So, a couple of weeks ago, my mom saw her lawyer to initiate the process of getting the child support reinstated. On Friday, my sister got a call from my very pissed off dad who asked to talk to my mom. She refused, so he asked to talk to me, and when I got on the phone he asked me to come to his house on Sunday (today) because we "had some things to discuss". When I got to his condo this morning, he spent a good 45 minutes bitching at me about how my mom is such a fucking bitch, and how he "pays enough money because he pays for my car insurance and my cell phone bill", not seeming to realize that my mom does all that for my sister in addition to feeding and clothing her and paying for my college.

My dad proceeded to call me an ungrateful little prick because I told him that a.) He has to pay child support because it's the law, b.) My mom is not trying to screw him over, she has my sister in mind, and c.) Just because he didn't go to college doesn't mean my sister and I shouldn't, and he shouldn't screw us over just to spite his ex-wife. Then he told me that if my mom goes through with making him pay child support, he will sell my car and turn off my cell phone, and I "can forget ever getting anything from him again".

So tell me, Totse, am I justified in wanting to fucking kill him?

Yep, but it's probably a bad move, you know. Seems like he's got his blinkers on. What to do about it? ...Hopefully someone else knows :\

Well... you could stand up to him. Tell him that he's such a big man, fucking over other people, and that he's a great role model. Then suggest, because of what you've learnt from him, you might claim sexual assault caused by him.

Or you could try something a bit weaker. However, I've always found it's much more effective to come out all guns blazing.

No, you sound like a whiny little faggot. You aren't entitled to anything from your parents once you're past 18. Wouldn't buy you a computer? Guess what, he went out and earned his money in exchange for invaluable time, so go out and get a job you spoiled little dick.

Yeah you're justified in wanting to, but it might be a bad move, what with the illegality of it. I say since you've already taken your mom's side on this, I would continue to support her (and for the reasons you listed earlier which make me think you like your mom better, because I would certainly like my mom better in this situation). Your dad can technically stop paying for your car insurance and phone, but I'm pretty sure he can't take the car itself from you (it's in your name, right?) and as much as it sucks having to pay for your own car insurance and phone (trust me, I know), you might be able to ask your mom for some help since she'll be getting child support money (might even out, I dunno). Talk to your mom about your worries with how you'll pay your car insurance and phone bill if your dad doesn't, and she might offer to help. If it comes down to it, you might need another job up at school during the week, I dunno if they have stuff like my school where if you're employed through the school (campus food services and book stores and stuff) they're more lenient on stuff like letting you schedule around classes and study time, only working as many hours a week as you can handle/want, etc. Try not to get in arguments with your dad over this, because if you don't upset him he might retract his previous statement to essentially cut you off from his money. Don't tell him he's a cool guy for all of this, but just avoid the subject if possible until it's all straightened out.

quote:Originally posted by SlapinFoFun:

No, you sound like a whiny little faggot. You aren't entitled to anything from your parents once you're past 18. Wouldn't buy you a computer? Guess what, he went out and earned his money in exchange for invaluable time, so go out and get a job you spoiled little dick.

First off, it wasn't so much about buying me a computer as it was about the fact that he had promised that he would split the cost with my mom and then reneged on his promise. Secondly, my sister is 16 and legally he should be supporting her, which is mainly what I'm pissed off about. And third, I have a job, so fuck off.

Go out one night and get piss drunk and let the emotions out (on someone else, not him). Then, calmly tell him to stop being a selfish prick and tell him if he doesn't pay child support you'll rape him with a lawyer that will make him pay child support for you and your sister retroactively, which he should have no problem doing, seeing as he's got a 30k car and a 10k bike.

Be reasonable, but tell him it's in his best interest to comply.

Don't live with him though. If you fuck someone over like that, living with them will be total hell. Move out after you get what you want.

quote:Originally posted by Rykoshet:

Go out one night and get piss drunk and let the emotions out (on someone else, not him). Then, calmly tell him to stop being a selfish prick and tell him if he doesn't pay child support you'll rape him with a lawyer that will make him pay child support for you and your sister retroactively, which he should have no problem doing, seeing as he's got a 30k car and a 10k bike.

Be reasonable, but tell him it's in his best interest to comply.

Don't live with him though. If you fuck someone over like that, living with them will be total hell. Move out after you get what you want.

Not a bad idea. And I don't live with him anymore, I live at college and when I come home I stay with my mother. There's no space for me in his place anymore because he moved his white trash girlfriend and her daughter in a couple weeks ago.

I kinda grew up in a situation like that myself...except my dad was waaaaay worse...but anyways.what id recommend is that you try and work things out with your father...even though you want to crack his skull in two right now,family is all you've got in the end.he really is acting a prick right now,but try and make him see these points that you described to totse.and if he doesnt understand...fuck him.its time for you to man up.

You grow some balls.You go over and see him again. When he answers the door you hit him in the face as hard as you can, if you're real small or weak then use weapon. Then you drop your cellphone and car papers on to him and walk away.Break all contact.

Update: I talked to my mom and told her what my dad had said, and she said "If that's all he has to threaten me with then he can fucking bring it on." You gotta love this woman.

Sounds like whats happening now with my dad..he jsut stopped paying my school fees and my mums taken over..he also has a trialer trash girlfriend half his age...shit me..i feel bad for you..if you ahev any advice to sahre please do...

Goddamnit, why the fuck are you bitching? A $145,000 condo, $30,000 car, and a fucking $10,000 motorcycle, wtf? My parents got divorced when I was 3, so I went to live with my dad and stepmom. My mother (a huge drug addict) never payed child support ONE fucking time. My father and stepmother were incredibly abusive up until I was 16, when I was kicked out of their house. I received no money, no car, and was homeless for 6 months. To this day, I don't speak to either of my parents, and have yet to receive any support from anybody. So goddamnit, stop fucking bitching b/c your life is "so shitty". You fucking disgust me.

quote:Originally posted by MourningGlry:

So goddamnit, stop fucking bitching b/c your life is "so shitty". You fucking disgust me.

How does yours having been worse make his any better? Stop whining bitch, my aunt died in horrible pains to breastcancer, you're still alive, quit whining. Get the idea?

I never once said my life was shitty. My life is pretty good compared to other people's, I agree. Hell, my life is even pretty good compared to my life several years ago when my mom and I were in fact homeless. That doesn't mean my problems aren't valid. I'm sorry you have a shitty relationship with your parents, but taking it out on a random person on the internet who you know nothing about doesn't fix jack shit and just makes you look bitter and small.