In this thread, we talk about Social Anxiety. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Social_Anxiety

Do you have it? What are you doing to help cope with it? Do you have any advice for people with this? Are you concerned for a friend or a family member that has it? (etc..)

I have social anxiety. I have trouble going to school, going in the bus, taking the metro, walking into a store, going anywhere public. Sometimes I vomit in my morning before going to school because I just can't take it anymore. I get palpitations in the bus every day. I have the feeling people are looking at me, though they are not. I'm pretty much low on friends..I only have 2 that I see about 5 times a year, and 2 that I can really trust but that I don't see much. Sure I have friends in my class but that doesn't go very far. I can go on and on..but I'll limit it to this.

Totseans with Social Anxiety, it's time we do something about it. We'll start by having a thread dedicated to it.

My msn: markogojgic@hotmail.com if you want to talk.

Oh man. I know exactly what you mean, and it fucking sucks. I used to really not be able to do anything. School was horrible, every time I walked down the hall I could feel people staring at me and laughing even though I knew no one gave a shit. When I'd have to give presentations in front of the class I'd feel like I was going to pass out from just sheer fear. My palms would get sweaty and my heart would beat a mile a minute. Combine this with bipolar disorder and you have an awesome time.

But really, I guess I just learned that people are way too absorbed in their own lives and petty problems to pay attention to anything you might be worried about. When you think they're staring at you, they're spacing out thinking about some stupid shit that happened during their day. The thing with social anxiety is that you build everything up so much in your head that even walking past someone in the hall makes you feel like you're being analyzed and picked apart, and it's very hard to realize that you're not. I also went on medication, and that really did help a lot.

yes, I believe all totseans suffer from social anxiety. That's why we're on totse so often, because we know nobody is watching us type. But hey, maybe I'm wrong. *looks over shoulder to make sure nobody is watching* Yep, everyone except me... *looks over shoulder again, and throws shoe at a spotted movement* OH SHIT! that was my dog!

quote:Originally posted by Exploration Of ZodSpace:

Do you have it?

Yes.

quote:Originally posted by Exploration Of ZodSpace:

What are you doing to help cope with it?

Nothing.

quote:Originally posted by Exploration Of ZodSpace:

Do you have any advice for people with this?

Not really. Everyone's different. No single solution is applicable to all.

quote:Originally posted by Exploration Of ZodSpace:

Are you concerned for a friend or a family member that has it?

Save myself nobody in my family is afflicted by it.

To elaborate-

I've spiralled into full-blown avoidant personality. I've built my life around being cut off from the world. As I live with a parent I've succeeded in this to a high degree (no interaction with people by necessity etc).

Since this situation can't last sustainably forever, I fully expect to end up on the streets and have been planning my life toward this eventuality.

I know nobody intimately outside my family, and most of them I avoid.

I don't often get the shakes/palpitations, but I used to get it badly. Nowadays I keep such a tight control over my movements and interactions I don't often get into those kinds of situations.

My existence is peaceful at times, tortuous at others. I did come very close to schizophrenia at one point.

I wouldn't say I had no self-respect, but I do frequently refuse to acknowledge my own existence (if that makes any sense).

I'm 20 years old, if that's of any interest.

I'm probably a textbook example of what happens to the socially anxious if they're left at the mercy of their demons. I've given up trying to beat it and instead built my life around it.

i have it, not as bad as the above guys but still, as i posted in your thread in SG.

quote:Originally posted by Indulgence:

Oh man. I know exactly what you mean, and it fucking sucks. I used to really not be able to do anything. School was horrible, every time I walked down the hall I could feel people staring at me and laughing even though I knew no one gave a shit. When I'd have to give presentations in front of the class I'd feel like I was going to pass out from just sheer fear. My palms would get sweaty and my heart would beat a mile a minute. Combine this with bipolar disorder and you have an awesome time.

But really, I guess I just learned that people are way too absorbed in their own lives and petty problems to pay attention to anything you might be worried about. When you think they're staring at you, they're spacing out thinking about some stupid shit that happened during their day. The thing with social anxiety is that you build everything up so much in your head that even walking past someone in the hall makes you feel like you're being analyzed and picked apart, and it's very hard to realize that you're not. I also went on medication, and that really did help a lot.

I have that, exactly. Very well detailed. Do you have msn?

quote:Originally posted by RevolutionNov7th:

To elaborate-

I've spiralled into full-blown avoidant personality. I've built my life around being cut off from the world. As I live with a parent I've succeeded in this to a high degree (no interaction with people by necessity etc).

I have that, too. I pretty much have no social life, I intimidate others with my silence (this may sound funny but it's true), I have nothing to say...I'm dull.

My shrink thinks I display antisocial behavior...But I think I'm relatively social. I just hate talking to most people becdause I find them to be frighteningly boring. It's like most people I meet have no facial expression or inflection in their voice. It makes me wonder if I took out a bat and started beating them about the head and shoulders while singing, "If I was a rich man," would they pause in their monologue even for a moment? Or would they just go on and on, never ceasing, never batting an eye.

Gah.

This thread is me, and I hate it.

quote:Originally posted by Exploration Of ZodSpace:

I have that, too. I pretty much have no social life, I intimidate others with my silence (this may sound funny but it's true), I have nothing to say...I'm dull.

I don't have msn, but I have aim. I want to talk to you about this now. Pretty much the only time I act like myself is when I'm online.

[This message has been edited by Indulgence (edited 09-25-2006).]

Yeah, I get it.

It keeps me up at night, like now. It's 0227, and I'm supposed to be awake at 0600.

I don't normally get it too bad, it's usually just a bit of twitching, sweating, mental anguish. Comes and goes, you know?

Though I think it manifests itself in panic attacks. I suffer from panic disorder, it's a big problem.

It's (thankfully) not a day-to-day issue, but it's more of an occasional week or two where I'm too frightened to do anything at all.

MSN: cosmonaut.3030@gmail.com

meh' I was under the impression only moderators could post official threads..guess its just in BLTC.

on topic, i dont have social anxiety, I just hate people.well jsut the stupid ones really.

Went throught 16 years of it. It sucks, but I pretty much have it under control now...

quote:Originally posted by Exploration Of ZodSpace:

Do you have it?

Pretty badly.

quote:What are you doing to help cope with it?

Drugs. And also hiding in my room.

quote:Do you have any advice for people with this?

Remember that it really doesn't matter what others think. Eliminate all emotion when in public, if you have. Iron within, Iron without!

quote:I have social anxiety. I have trouble going to school, going in the bus, taking the metro, walking into a store, going anywhere public. Sometimes I vomit in my morning before going to school because I just can't take it anymore. I get palpitations in the bus every day. I have the feeling people are looking at me, though they are not.

Yeah, sounds just like me. I've gotten used to school, so no vomiting; but I still dread it. I've never taken the bus because the sheer thought just makes me too nervous.

quote:My msn: markogojgic@hotmail.com if you want to talk.

I would, but you're a douchebag because you insulted my naked pictures .

quote:Originally posted by RevolutionNov7th:

I've spiralled into full-blown avoidant personality. I've built my life around being cut off from the world. As I live with a parent I've succeeded in this to a high degree (no interaction with people by necessity etc).

Since this situation can't last sustainably forever, I fully expect to end up on the streets and have been planning my life toward this eventuality.

Jesus Christ, man, you sound exactly like me! I've isolated myself with my family, only going out of my room to eat (and even then I bring the food back here) or get drugs. I still go to school, but I hate it and am not doing very well. I'm not only extremely fearful and inept, but lazy as well... I can't see myself succeeding at life, really.

quote:My existence is peaceful at times, tortuous at others.

Yeah. On one hand, everything is calm and controlled. I'm never hot or over-exerted or forced to think quickly; I just sit, quietly, reading or using the computer. On the other hand, I'm basically ruining my life.

quote:I wouldn't say I had no self-respect, but I do frequently refuse to acknowledge my own existence (if that makes any sense).

It doesn't, to me. Can you elaborate?

quote:Originally posted by Indulgence:

Pretty much the only time I act like myself is when I'm online.

Exactly the same here. What's your AIM?

quote:Originally posted by Twisted_Ferret:

Originally posted by Indulgence:

Pretty much the only time I act like myself is when I'm online.

Exactly the same here. What's your AIM?

It's i knat speel. Hit me up, you seem interesting.

quote:Originally posted by Twisted_Ferret:



It doesn't, to me. Can you elaborate?

Well, I guess it means that I'm beyond having any emotion or viewpoint toward myself whatsoever. Whenever I've had self-respect, I've been fatally overconfident and fucked up at things. Whenever I've had no self-respect, I've gone into the pits of depression/psychosis. After a few years of see-sawing between these, I now generally avoid a perception of myself at all to maintain some stability.

But that branches out into all kinds of off-topic, non social-avoidance issues I'm locked in eternal battle with

I always think people are staring at me in an unfriendly manner.

I'm okay going places if my husband is with me, because I feel...Safe with him.

Just like your last thread.

Yes to all.

Alcohol seems to work but thats rather limited.



And damn, Ferret.. you are me!

A metal body would pwn faces too.

Edit2: perhaps we should create metal children in our image?



[This message has been edited by Jewbacca (edited 09-25-2006).]

quote:Originally posted by Jewbacca:

And damn, Ferret.. you are me!

Great minds think alike! Got AIM or MSN?

quote:A metal body would pwn faces too.



Okay, just to make sure... you mention this because you've seen me post about wanting a metal body before, right?

@Indulgence: You don't seem to be online.

Edit:

quote:perhaps we should create metal children in our image?

Hell yes! Let us rule the galaxy together - masters of the universe through our metal legions!

[This message has been edited by Twisted_Ferret (edited 09-25-2006).]

quote:Originally posted by Twisted_Ferret:

Originally posted by Jewbacca:

And damn, Ferret.. you are me!

Great minds think alike! Got AIM or MSN?

quote:A metal body would pwn faces too.



Okay, just to make sure... you mention this because you've seen me post about wanting a metal body before, right?

@Indulgence: You don't seem to be online.

No, I was watching you post it, through a window, through my telescope.

wait on the aim/msn thing

quote:Originally posted by Jewbacca:

No, I was watching you post it, through a window, through my telescope.

I just thought it'd be pretty cool if you had come up with it independantly.

quote:Originally posted by Twisted_Ferret:

Originally posted by Jewbacca:

And damn, Ferret.. you are me!

Great minds think alike! Got AIM or MSN?

quote:A metal body would pwn faces too.



Okay, just to make sure... you mention this because you've seen me post about wanting a metal body before, right?

@Indulgence: You don't seem to be online.

Edit:

quote:perhaps we should create metal children in our image?

Hell yes! Let us rule the galaxy together - masters of the universe through our metal legions!



Yeah, sorry about that, I was taking a shower. I'm online now though.

Its "lolaimsuckslol", how creative. I don't use aim but wont put my msn out here *shifty eyes*

Going to sleep now, school tomorrow

[This message has been edited by Jewbacca (edited 09-25-2006).]

I have it, very mild compared to a lot of you. Getting it more and more under control, I used to get nervous just taking the bus or going... well, pretty much anywhere. Except school, I was always comfortable with that. Xiao, I know exactly what you mean when you say that you find most people so horribly boring

I have had it before, the same time I had depression, and anger problems. Somehow, I got sane though (I'm still not really sure how...I think I just sorted it all out in my head).

quote:Originally posted by Indulgence:

I have aim.

I have msn :P The whole world uses msn!

As for today, my anxiety was under control...The trick is not to think about it. Too much thinking leads to thinking about problems and what not. From now on, I'm going to try and keep my mind clear of all thoughts. Any advice on that, guys?

quote:Originally posted by Exploration Of ZodSpace:

I have msn :P The whole world uses msn!

As for today, my anxiety was under control...The trick is not to think about it. Too much thinking leads to thinking about problems and what not. From now on, I'm going to try and keep my mind clear of all thoughts. Any advice on that, guys?

Doesn't work that well for me.

I was once agoraphobic, and didn't leave my room for about 7 months.

I got over it, working a little bit at a time, going out a little bit more and more.

Now I am compleatly fine, and you never would know.

I can't be bothered to get into it all, but all I'm saying is, you can beat it, and you cna get rid of it and return to normality.

I'm much more social than ever now. I'll talk to random people I meet and everything, more friendly than your average asshole on the street, by far. It's much better.

Alot more good things happen to you if you just talk to people.

I think the slightest thing can set me off and bring me to another social anxiety/depression phase. It happens every couple of months.

Maybe it's just mood swings or the awkwardness of growing up. I'm pretty damn awkward, that's fo sho.

I think I'm going to call a social worker to schedule an appointment. That's a start. If she gives me any good advice, I'll post it here.

quote:Originally posted by Xiao Mei:

My shrink thinks I display antisocial behavior...But I think I'm relatively social.

It makes me wonder if I took out a bat and started beating them about the head and shoulders while singing, "If I was a rich man," would they pause in their monologue even for a moment?

Sure sounds like antisocial behavior to me..

I have social anxiety (as well as anxiety in general). I've found that prescription Lexapro helps me a lot. Just don't take Paxil. It will destroy your life.

Today I kept my mind clear of most thoughts that lead to anxiety and what not. I just put some Black Sabbath on my ipod, put the volume to maximum and kind of meditated (obviously without moving). It felt really really good to be able to be in a bus full of people and not feel the anxiety.

Also, my friend introduced me to this lovely girl my age and we're going to meetup and chill/watch a movie on friday night. I'm extremely nervous just thinking about it but I hope I'm trying to be confident.

Have you guys made any progress lately?

i have social anxiety, but its getting better. i have no problems with doing presentations and stuff like that anymore. i just feel like everyone is always juding me and how quiet i am. im fucked when it comes to girls though. theres this one girls who is perfect, and i think she likes me cause we always flash these smiles at eachother,but we hardley see eachother since we have no clases together.but i alway freak and have nothing to say when im around people i dont know, especially girls and i just fucking cant stand it anymore. feels good to get this off my chest

quote:Originally posted by nexota:

i have social anxiety, but its getting better. i have no problems with doing presentations and stuff like that anymore. i just feel like everyone is always juding me and how quiet i am. im fucked when it comes to girls though. theres this one girls who is perfect, and i think she likes me cause we always flash these smiles at eachother,but we hardley see eachother since we have no clases together.but i alway freak and have nothing to say when im around people i dont know, especially girls and i just fucking cant stand it anymore. feels good to get this off my chest

I know exactly how you feel.

I have clinical anxiety which is refered to as APD now

what do I do about it?

blow and tequila

It's not so much the fear of rejection with girls, it's the fear of running out of things to say, or the fear of not knowing what to do after you get their number.

When speaking out loud to more than a few people I don't know, once in a while I completely lose my train of thought thinking about what to say.

I avoid college simply because of some of the presentations we would have to do in front of the class.

And stuff like when the teacher goes around the room asking us random questions about ourselves or our opinions, I can get real nervous, even if it's something simple.

Here are some tips I know

When calling a girl, just call, don't think.

Walk into places like you own the place.

This is going to sound stupid, but when you are places with some people nearby, stretch your arms or something or cough loud, attract subtle attention somehow, force people to know your presence. This is because you caused the attention yourself, you control it, it's no mystery

In class ask questions, give your opinion once in a while. My problem started when I was spacing out in class and the teacher would just call on me and I would be clueless. Show them you are aware once in a while and they will stop picking you out.

Give random girls a wave, nod or stare, while driving, walking, wherever.

Everybody doesn't have to be your friend, blow people off, make enemies

Lose weight, work out, don't be scared to try new hairstyles, don't be scared to wear different clothes, learn how to lose yourself with loud music, play it loud in your car, make people look at you, walk up to random people and ask them directions or the time, try your best to spin off a conversations.

Clear your fucking mind

Clear mind is the way to go. I haven't had any serious issues for a while now.

Thanks for the great hints Minority Deport, I suffer from Social Anxiety too.

I can relate with so much of what you guys say, ive suffered social anxiety and depression from about age 14, im 18 now.

I went through years of mental anguish, i avoided using the bus to go to school, hated being in class and was always scared of talking to people and being asked questions.I was a nervous wreck but i some how managed to get through the days by putting on this pissed off grumpy front. I dont really know where it came from cos i was always quiet sociable and happy when i was younger. Started smoking pot and drinking heavily around the same age the anxiety began and it kinda helped at first, also using meth and x quiet frequently up untill recently where i brokedown and went nuts for about a month. I just could'nt see any future for myself so i tried to top myself by cutting my wrists, i seriously thought i was fucked and never could get better. My parents could see something was seriosuly wrong so they got me to the docs, ive been put on an ssri for about a month so far called cipralex, which is used for the treatment of of depression and anxiety, also some diazepam for panic attacks. Ive cut out drink and drugs completely, which has been incredibly difficult (execpt a little toke here n there) and i can honestly say i feel alot better now. Ive taken up some old hobbies and find it much easier to funciton in social situations, my mood had definetly lifted alot.I plan to start working in a month or so. Even when it feels like you'll never get better, there is hope, and you can get help.

If your suffering go see your doc, with the right meds and councelling things can get better

quote:Originally posted by Noino:

I can relate with so much of what you guys say, ive suffered social anxiety and depression from about age 14, im 18 now.

I went through years of mental anguish, i avoided using the bus to go to school, hated being in class and was always scared of talking to people and being asked questions.I was a nervous wreck but i some how managed to get through the days by putting on this pissed off grumpy front. I dont really know where it came from cos i was always quiet sociable and happy when i was younger. Started smoking pot and drinking heavily around the same age the anxiety began and it kinda helped at first, also using meth and x quiet frequently up untill recently where i brokedown and went nuts for about a month. I just could'nt see any future for myself so i tried to top myself by cutting my wrists, i seriously thought i was fucked and never could get better. My parents could see something was seriosuly wrong so they got me to the docs, ive been put on an ssri for about a month so far called cipralex, which is used for the treatment of of depression and anxiety, also some diazepam for panic attacks. Ive cut out drink and drugs completely, which has been incredibly difficult (execpt a little toke here n there) and i can honestly say i feel alot better now. Ive taken up some old hobbies and find it much easier to funciton in social situations, my mood has definetly lifted alot.I plan to start working in a month or so. Even when it feels like you'll never get better, there is hope, and you can get help.

If your suffering go see your doc, with the right meds and councelling things can get better

quote:Originally posted by Minority Deport:

Clear your fucking mind

QFT.

solid post.

I can't eat in front of people

Very good.