Okay, I think I'm at least a decent catch.

If's she not willing to reciprocate the effort that it takes to hold a relationship together, then simply put, she's not worth the effort.

Stop telling me about myself. It's frightening me.

quote:Originally posted by Psionicist:

Stop telling me about myself. It's frightening me.

At least I'm not alone...

Talk to her about it. If this is how you're feeling, then the relationship is going to have to change. If she cares, she won't want you to feel used.

How it will change is up to the two of you.

Do the mature thing and tell her how you feel, diplomatically. Maybe your girlfriend (Miss I-Ate-All-The-Pies) hasn't realised how bad you are feeling, she's probably too young and stupid to figure it out without your help. So... That's what couples do - they discuss things.

quote:Originally posted by Marchesa:

Do the mature thing and tell her how you feel, diplomatically. Maybe your girlfriend (Miss I-Ate-All-The-Pies) hasn't realised how bad you are feeling, she's probably too young and stupid to figure it out without your help. So... That's what couples do - they discuss things.

I have kinda told her before, and she's really nice for a little while after, but she soon forgets. There's no permanent way. I've heard a saying "You can't change someone's personality, but you can change their behavior". I wonder if it applies...

In a relationship, expect to be taken for granted and unappreciated.

Don't stay with her because you're scared you won't find someone else.

quote:Originally posted by Isobutane:

Don't stay with her because you're scared you won't find someone else.

No, I really doubt I will. I'm so quiet in school. People who know me say I'm cool, but if you don't know me, I must seem really creepy. I'm also shy. Plus, I want to stay with her.

quote:Originally posted by Hardly There:

In a relationship, expect to be taken for granted and unappreciated.

See I'm in the opposite boat as you. My husband treats me like a queen...I mean he always pays attention to me and he tries to please me, even if what I want conflicts with what HE wants. And he always calls me every day from work and he brings me gifts to cheer me up...But I worry that he'll get sick of me because of the way I am. I mean, sometimes I wonder why he even loves me and I try to get better, but it's difficult.

He probably feels taken for granted and underappreciated.

quote:Originally posted by Hardly There:

In a relationship, expect to be taken for granted and unappreciated.

I feel the exact opposite way.

Sometimes I wonder why my friends like me at all.

quote:Originally posted by Isobutane:

Don't stay with her because you're scared you won't find someone else.

amen to that. never make your choices out of fear

quote:Originally posted by Graah:

At least I'm not alone...

Heh. You're luckier then i am. I'm guessing your girlfriend doesn't live 45 hours away from you? Then again, things have been getting better between her and i. As much as it hurts, you can't always be there for her, or else she will start to take it for granted. i didn't want to believe this at first, but it's true. just take time to be with your friends, and for your life, and soon you'll see her putting in the effort, too.

That's not necissarily true...My husband and I are together all of the time and we really don't have friends besides each other and I don't think we take each other for granted.

quote:Originally posted by Xiao Mei:

That's not necissarily true...My husband and I are together all of the time and we really don't have friends besides each other and I don't think we take each other for granted.

There are exceptions to every rule. You have to admit that there aren't too many couples that would consider satis a regular thing if one died.

quote:Originally posted by Jackketchs Muse:

Is that actually a bad thing? To some degree doesn't it indicate that your partner and you mesh well, to the point where you don't feel the need to express gratitude for 'every day things' sometimes?

It can be looked at either way (positive or negative), don't you think?

However, if it is making a person sad then something should be said. But...I often wonder if those who are bothered by that simply aren't doing enough things outside the relationship that fulfill that need.

It's something I've been thinking about quite a lot lately.

That makes good sense, but ideally these things shouldn't be used simply as a distraction from unresolved problems.

quote:Originally posted by Psionicist:

Stop telling me about myself. It's frightening me.

holy fuck.

i guess lots of people feel this way?

quote:Originally posted by Xiao Mei:

That's not necissarily true...My husband and I are together all of the time and we really don't have friends besides each other and I don't think we take each other for granted.

I'm not saying that it always happens like this... i'm just saying that it happened in my case (and both my girlfriend and myself were very clingy with eachother at the beginning of our relationship) so it will probably be similar for him. If it gets to that point in a relationship when one person seems to be taking the other one for granted, well, that's where my advice was targeted.

Then again, In my situation it seems like she's been putting in more and more effort lateley, and doing all those little things that i used to take for granted. so I'm hoping that the OP will find some method, if not mine, to fix things up. I hate seeing relationships fall appart over little things.

quote:Originally posted by Graah:

in school.

you're fucking fooling yourself if you think that the girl you're with at school matters in the slightest in the long run mate.

I thought so too. Guess what? I thought totally wrong.

My sister married her high school boyfriend and she is 32 years old now.

...Then again, she's promiscuous and he's gay.

I was having the same problem as you in my last relationship, and about a week ago I broke up with my gf of 1 and a half years. Things are actually going alot better now, and I've been hanging out with a girl I met from my work.

quote:Originally posted by Xiao Mei:

My sister married her high school boyfriend and she is 32 years old now.

...Then again, she's promiscuous and he's gay.

im not saying high school romances never work out. just rarely.

I've recently come to conclusion, myself, that I'm more valuable as a good friend than worth having a relationship with. Havn't been in a relationship for over a year now, and none of the ones I've been in were "good". So, yeah. A bit.

quote:Originally posted by RedWasp:

I've recently come to conclusion, myself, that I'm more valuable as a good friend than worth having a relationship with. Havn't been in a relationship for over a year now, and none of the ones I've been in were "good". So, yeah. A bit.

"If two people love each other, there can be no good end to it."

Ernest Hemingway.

quote:Originally posted by Garfunkel:

"If two people love each other, there can be no good end to it."

Ernest Hemingway.



Love? A relationship will always end. That is the only seeming purpose to it.

The relationships I had wern't "love". I became unwittingly submissive, and wasn't myself.

Yeah, I've changed to the point where I want someone to appreciate me for who I am, and I'm not looking for some shallow fuck either.

Sadly, that's not the way the world works.

Look's like I'll be single for a while...

Hah.