** Update allll the way at the bottom

**oops, it's intRAracial isn't it. *edit*

I'm sure it's been done, but I didn't see the thread :-P

In the attempt to get over the psycho I posted about a week 1/2 ago, I've been going on a few dates.

So on thursday I went out to dinner/bowling with a really nice guy.

I'm white, he's asian (chinese)

personally, with the way I was raised, race makes no diffrence to me.

Past the first "you do know I'm asian right?" "yup"

I didn't think there was any need for further discussion on it. Cause honestly, I don't care. I think asian guys are hot, that's the end of it for me with the racial prefence.

But he's like "what do white girls usually talk about?" "white this and that" "asian blah blah"

So I asked him if he'd ever gone out with a white chick before, he said no, so maybe that's a bit of it.



I dunno, is it really that big of a deal? Honestly? We're going out again tonight, to his friend's party, (supposedly 95% "asian")

I wouldn't feel awkward, but the more he talks about it, the more aware I am.

Should I sit him down and tell him, that it's not that big of a deal? that I don't mind? ask him if HE minds?

/end ramble



[This message has been edited by ShouldTrip (edited 09-24-2006).]

quote:Originally posted by ShouldTrip:

Should I sit him down and tell him, that it's not that big of a deal? that I don't mind? ask him if HE minds?

/end ramble



That sounds like a good idea to me. He probably thinks that it's going to be awkward for you, and he's trying to make sure you know it. just sit down with him and let him know that it's no big deal to you at all, and it has never/will never bother you.

Shit, you're a girl? Fuck, I always thought you were a bloke.

Anyway. Tell him to chill out about it all. Ask him if he has a problem with the fact that you aren't asian. By the sounds of it, he might, or he thinks you're 'different' to him.

And I'm going to ask the expected totse question of penis size. There. It's done. Now no one alse can do it. I'm aware that I didn't even ask a question, but you get the point.

quote:Originally posted by another pint:



And I'm going to ask the expected totse question of penis size. There. It's done. Now no one alse can do it. I'm aware that I didn't even ask a question, but you get the point.

hahaha Well, if things go well for the next few weeks, I'll see if the rumors are true :-P

And Psion: See that's my worry, that HE has a problem with it, just cause I'm so against it haha. I dunno, he keeps telling me he's not the "typical" asian, whatever that means.

The guy is a racist. I really don't see the relationship going anywhere. Good luck!

quote:Originally posted by H4T3:

The guy is a racist.

Strangely, that appears to be trye.

quote:Originally posted by ShouldTrip:

he keeps telling me he's not the "typical" asian

And what, pray tell, is a typical asian?

[This message has been edited by another pint (edited 09-23-2006).]

quote:Originally posted by H4T3:

The guy is a racist. I really don't see the relationship going anywhere. Good luck!

haha, that is one idea I was slightly feeling, but then again, before the evening was even over he asked when he could see me again.



The biggest thing for me though was his text of "What hot clothes are you wearing tomorrow?"

Which is like a wtf you don't even know me, nor did I dress skanky around you. Which I may mention when he picks me up tonight too.

My worry is the "she's white so she's blah blah"

Like, does he maybe look down on white chicks? I'll have to find out I suppose. He'll be here in 5 hours o.O

I don't know what it is with asian people, but they always have to talk about the fact that they're asian. My dormmate last year was chinese, and he ALWAYS fucking talked about it. I told him repeatedly that I don't give a fuck, taht people are people, but sitll he constantly makes jokes about how he's "the token chinese guy" and other pointless comments regarding race.

OP, I'm glad you don't have a problem with it, but sadly you're running into the problem that I've had before. I've dated a lot of different types of girls, different races, all that. I just don't see what the big deal is or why people need to constantly bring up race. However, some people are uncomfortable with it, like this guy seems to be. Sit him down, talk to him, and tell him to stop obsessing over it. It's unhealthy how people do that.

quote:Originally posted by ShouldTrip:

I dunno, he keeps telling me he's not the "typical" asian, whatever that means.

That means that he thinks that you believe the stereotype about penis size, and he clearly doesn't want you to think of him like that.

quote:Originally posted by Psionicist:

That means that he thinks that you believe the stereotype about penis size, and he clearly doesn't want you to think of him like that.



hahahaha oh god, ok that was really funny.

But who knows, that would make sense.

You males and your obsession with the size of your peice /sexism.

Sitting down and talking about it sounds good. Another thing I noticed, which slightly lead me to believe he cares what other people think, is he kept looking at the people next to us when we were bowling, after anything happened i.e. either of us got a strike, said something funny w/e. As though he wanted the approval of the white college kids next to us. (I hardly noticed them)

Oh yeah, more details I guess

I'm 19, in college, live at home yet work and pay my own bills

he's 21, works on advertising for pfizer, drives a very nice car, and has lived alone since his senior year.

we've both had much expirience traveling all over the world.

Well, tonight will be a party (assuming the talk goes well) with a bunch of his "asian" friends. I guess I'll have to watch how he acts around me when they're near.

heh, I wonder if I'm part of a bet /imagination

He's going to have a small penis. It's going to be hillarious. Just remember I posted this. Remember me when he drops his pants, and laugh for me.

He seems to obcess over race too much. If it continues to go on like this way, he won't want a white chick. People who constantly bring up their race are usually only interested in "whitey" for sex. Except for black people, black people fuck anybody.

quote:Originally posted by ShouldTrip:

Well, tonight will be a party (assuming the talk goes well) with a bunch of his "asian" friends. I guess I'll have to watch how he acts around me when they're near.

heh, I wonder if I'm part of a bet /imagination

To me, it sounds like he's not only self conscious about his size, but also just self conscious in general, and feels the need to prove himself to everyone lest they judge him. It's a confidence thing... but who knows, i guess you'll have to see how things go tonight, eh?

Eh is right.

And along with what you said, it's having me wonder if he's trying to prove something, or get some haha.

What's the best way for a girl to get across the "You're not getting laid unless we've been together atleast blah blah" Without sounding like a prude bitch, or making it seem he has no chance?

Just fuck the poor guy. Sex is fun, ain't it?

quote:Originally posted by H4T3:

Just fuck the poor guy. Sex is fun, ain't it?

Sure, but it'd be more fun if I didn't think it'd be spotted with "Do white girls like this?" hahaha

quote:Originally posted by ShouldTrip:



What's the best way for a girl to get across the "You're not getting laid unless we've been together atleast blah blah" Without sounding like a prude bitch, or making it seem he has no chance?

I wouldn't know, my girlfriend has me whipped so this was never an issue. =P

quote:Originally posted by Psionicist:

I wouldn't know, my girlfriend has me whipped so this was never an issue. =P

Ok, then, How did she break it to you, that once you asked her out, she would be in full control of your balls? :-P

If he tries to fuck you just say "not yet." That doesn't mean no, and it implies "yes, but later on." A girl told me that once, and I kept interest in her. It worked out favorably for us both

quote:Originally posted by Fanglekai:

If he tries to fuck you just say "not yet." That doesn't mean no, and it implies "yes, but later on." A girl told me that once, and I kept interest in her. It worked out favorably for us both

oh, SURE I could take the easy logical way out. Pif!

haha, you win, I feel stupid for not just assuming that. *steps off the over analyzing for a bit*

He's got a tiny chiny chubby just for you.

Asians living in a dominantly Caucausian society are more self-conscious because they're expected to intergrate more fully than blacks and latinos, but they don't feel as cool and smoothly representedly/educated in popular culture. He's just a nervous dumbass, pull him aside and tell him not to give a shit about it all, it's detracting from the real relationship. He's probably thinking, "White girl = She's probably thinking weird asian this and that, I'm afraid of being rejected."

hmm that makes a lot of sense angry. I also spoke to a few friends whom know how I am, and they helped ground me a bit, coupled with other actions I observed him doing/ways he acted. (Psycho-majors ftw)

I think I'll reassure him that I don't care about race.

I saw a fat korean kid today on the bus.

Proper bowl hair cut, and he was eating from a crisp packet the same way a dog would.

I'm probably going to go into a relationship with this Indian girl I know (I'm white). I don't really see what difference it makes.

I'd never date a black girl. Never. There's something that's just a HUGE turn OFF about them.

White, "latin" or asian are fine.

You'll make all of his friends so damn jealous, and him proud too :P

this whole thread has me stumped. first, I think it's time to talk about race, and culture.

race: physical attributes a group shares that make them distinct

culture: a persons beliefs, language, etc

so, we've established he's racially asian, and you're fine with that as you think they're hot, but is he culturally asian? you're not telling us. he could be fresh off the boat or he could be 5th generation and not know any language but english (I'm assuming you live in an anglo country).

If he is "culturally asian", and you're not, I would recommend avoiding it unless he's so amazing you can't say no. Cultural differences ran far deeper than people realise...

Listen to 'Got Rice Bitch' by 'Asian Pride'

quote:Originally posted by rabbitweed:

this whole thread has me stumped. first, I think it's time to talk about race, and culture.

race: physical attributes a group shares that make them distinct

culture: a persons beliefs, language, etc

so, we've established he's racially asian, and you're fine with that as you think they're hot, but is he culturally asian? you're not telling us. he could be fresh off the boat or he could be 5th generation and not know any language but english (I'm assuming you live in an anglo country).

If he is "culturally asian", and you're not, I would recommend avoiding it unless he's so amazing you can't say no. Cultural differences ran far deeper than people realise...



He was born in Shanghai, Moved to america till about middleschool is. Moved to Hong Kong until his senior year where he moved back to the US (alone)

He went to the university of Maryland from there, interned with Pfizer in jersey, post graduating with a bachelors in economics he was offered a fulltime job there. So he lived up in jersey now.

Last night showed me he seems more like a typical guy, like you know.. normal.

Not that I know how traditional chinese guys act, but he just acted american I guess. The only thing (so far) that wasn't "typical 21 yr old american male" Is that he's very focused on being professional, career oriented.

uhm, well anyways.. we went to his friend's party. His friends were cool, all asian haha, but fun and friendly none-the-less.

Afterwards we headed to chili's to hang out, for a bit longer.

The race thing: I joked that I was counting how many times he said asian, and he didn't mention it much after. the hot thing, eh, I took my friend's advice and shut up about it.

When he dropped me of, though I wanted to, I didn't kiss him. Nerves/not having been home to brush my teeth for 15 hours haha.



Well, AIM this morning: (cliffed)

Him: so where do you see this going/what do you want out of it?

Me: you're a nice guy, I like your morals/friends etc, we get along well dunno see where it goes.

Him: well why it's wierd on my end is, I might be moving back to maryland* And if we got into a relationship I don't think that'd be fair to you.

Me: then why ask me on a second date?

Him: because I like you.

Me: Well, I guess we'll see how it goes.

him: yeah



Well, either way, he's going to maryland for a week on business. So I wouldn't see him, at earliest until next tuesday.

ehhh, He made a reall good impression last night. Like, really good. And then he said the moving stuff.

what the fucks.

Well, it looks to me like his career is very, very important to be him, and at least he's being honest about it with you. that's a good sign that you're also important, if this was just a fling he probably wouldn't have bothered to tell you that.

Still, he doesn't know you well enough to change his life's plans just to be with you, after all you haven't even known eachother very long. so, just hang out with him/keep going out with him, and play things by ear. do you know when he's planning on moving?

quote:Originally posted by Psionicist:

Well, it looks to me like his career is very, very important to be him, and at least he's being honest about it with you. that's a good sign that you're also important, if this was just a fling he probably wouldn't have bothered to tell you that.

Still, he doesn't know you well enough to change his life's plans just to be with you, after all you haven't even known eachother very long. so, just hang out with him/keep going out with him, and play things by ear. do you know when he's planning on moving?

Yeah, I by no means expect him to change his plans, but to stop seeing me because he "might" at some point move back seems lame.

He doesn't have a date that he told me. I'd like to keep seeing him to see where it goes. But we shall see.

quote:Originally posted by RogueWarheart:

I'd never date a black girl. Never. There's something that's just a HUGE turn OFF about them.

White, "latin" or asian are fine.

I completely agree. I don't look down upon blacks (well, anymore than I do upon everyone else) but I just couldn't see myself with a black girl.

On another note, I have only officially been with one girl in a relationship, and that was technically interracial, me being Native American and her being white. We never once even mentioned race, not even in passing or anything like that, no racial remarks or even light-hearted joking. That's the way I like to keep it though.

Interracial relationships should be avoided at all costs.

quote:Originally posted by VladimirIllyichLenin:

Interracial relationships should be avoided at all costs.

Interracial sex is hawt. Although, wouldn't it be tough on the kid? E.g. OneMullatto.

I think having teased him about saying 'asian' all the time and got him to knock it off the thing to do is forget the racial aspect yourself.

If he might have to move, he might have to move; tell him you'll take it as it comes.

He may be disgruntled about the lack of a kiss, guys are funny like that- he might think you're playing games- guys never ever remember that girls are made of 'sugar and spice' and don't like to kiss with bad breath or whatever.

I don't think the 'typical asian' remark is about his mickey; that would be highly disrespectful.

quote:Originally posted by spinnersean:



Shut up Kalmyck

quote:Originally posted by spinnersean:



He may be disgruntled about the lack of a kiss, guys are funny like that- he might think you're playing games- guys never ever remember that girls are made of 'sugar and spice' and don't like to kiss with bad breath or whatever.



True true, and I feel bad not doing it.

haha we'll see if I get another date to change that :-P

quote:Originally posted by ShouldTrip:

Ok, then, How did she break it to you, that once you asked her out, she would be in full control of your balls? :-P

Heh, I completely missed this... anyway, i never asked her out. We were very close friends who liked/flirted with eachother for quite a while, and after i was dumped by the girl i had been going out with at the time, she was the one who was always there for me, and helped me to get over it. after that, we just kept getting closer and closer until she was calling me her boyfriend, and i was calling her my girlfriend. it was kinda cool, the way it turned out. It was soon after that when she made things clear that i officially belonged to her. =P

quote:Originally posted by ShouldTrip:

Yeah, I by no means expect him to change his plans, but to stop seeing me because he "might" at some point move back seems lame.

He doesn't have a date that he told me. I'd like to keep seeing him to see where it goes. But we shall see.

You're right, that would be quite lame. but i have a strong feeling that he just wanted to let you in on what he was doing, not prepare you for getting dumped or anything like that. but like you said, i guess you'll just have to wait and see how things turn out.

[This message has been edited by Psionicist (edited 09-25-2006).]

well, ding ding ding. I know have the end to my current chapter of intraracial expirience.

He wants to keep it "platonic" because he doesn't know if it'll be "weeks or months" before he moves back to maryland, because that's where he wants to be.

I replied something like "It'd be better to say 'I'm not interested' than to make a decision for me lol"

he said he was interested, and it was hard for him. blah blah, let's still be friends.

I told him to give me a while. I went on the dates with the impression something could come of it. You know, cuase THAT is what dates ARE for!

2 amazing dates, nice conversations, hitting it off well, and then this.

-that seems more like leading me on, I'd rather not have been asked on a second date and "QQ"d about that.

Eh, I'm disappointed, frustrated. O-well. I still have that guy in my Astronomy class in a few hours to hit on

Wonder if he has a gf.. le'sigh

Thanks for the advice everyone-Psionicist

-Pint-hate-fan-etc I'll carry it into my next hot asian/etc expirience..

Too rational.

Damn. That bothers me, i thought he was going to turn around and do something sweet like say that he found a job in maryland, or manage to stay somehow. What a cock.

At least you'll get the satisfaction of turning him down when he comes back to maryland and has "rethought how he feels" about you.

Edit: grammar.

[This message has been edited by Psionicist (edited 09-25-2006).]

quote:Originally posted by Psionicist:

Heh, I completely missed this... anyway, i never asked her out. We were very close friends who liked/flirted with eachother for quite a while, and after i was dumped by the girl i had been going out with at the time, she was the one who was always there for me, and helped me to get over it. after that, we just kept getting closer and closer until she was calling me her boyfriend, and i was calling her my girlfriend. it was kinda cool, the way it turned out. It was soon after that when she made things clear that i officially belonged to her. =P

Awesome. Almost the exact same thing happened to me. And she's Asian! (Well, half.)

quote:Originally posted by Psionicist:



At least you'll get the satisfaction of turning him down when he comes back to maryland and has "rethought how he feels" about you.

Edit: grammar.



Well, being female, (aka shifty ) I did actually contemplate the possibility of taking up the offer he gave me of "just friends" To try and seem like the most appealing person possible, and tell him to go to hell. aka play get backs.

Maybe it's a power thing? Maybe he's afraid of something actually developing? Maybe he met another chick? O-well

Maybe I'll take the advice of a friend of mine "stay single as long as possible ..... spread thine wild seed young one! ok well maybe not so much, but for your own good .... stay single. "

am i the only one that doesn't see a white/asian relationship as an interracial relationship?

Fucking gooks.

Ask him if you can smear shit all over his chest.

Come back and post pics.

quote:Originally posted by xilikeeggs0:

am i the only one that doesn't see a white/asian relationship as an interracial relationship?

I kind of feel that way as long as it is a north Asian, like Japanese or Han or Korean. If they are Cambodian or Phillippino and are with a white person they probably have different complexions so it seems more interracial if you ask me. I know that really didn't make sense

race2

–noun 1. a group of persons related by common descent or heredity.

2. a population so related.

3. Anthropology. a. any of the traditional divisions of humankind, the commonest being the Caucasian, Mongoloid, and Negro, characterized by supposedly distinctive and universal physical characteristics: no longer in technical use.

b. an arbitrary classification of modern humans, sometimes, esp. formerly, based on any or a combination of various physical characteristics, as skin color, facial form, or eye shape, and now frequently based on such genetic markers as blood groups.

c. a human population partially isolated reproductively from other populations, whose members share a greater degree of physical and genetic similarity with one another than with other humans.



4. a group of tribes or peoples forming an ethnic stock: the Slavic race.

5. any people united by common history, language, cultural traits, etc.: the Dutch race.

>> not to mention I just recently read a book "The Geography of Thought" Which goes into detail on how people from diffrent parts of the world think diffrently thought being raised/genetics.

Races are diffrent, mentally and physically sometimes.

Doesn't mean it should matter too much ^_^