Alright, just bear with me S&A, I need some help and/or advice.

So over the summer, I was dating this girl, and pretty much, I fell in love. She was really nice, fun to be with, cute, all that shit. But, I was in Houston and Dallas, Texas the whole time. Come nearing the end of summer, we part our ways, sadly. So basically, she lives about 500 miles away from me. Now I still love her, and I have no way whatsoever of getting together with her. I was wondering if mabye we could work anything long distance out.By now, shes probably dating someone else, but I don't care. I don't know what I should do next, so being the idiot that I am, I come to Totse for help.

How about it guys? Feel like helpin poor lil-ole me out?

[This message has been edited by Bates23 (edited 09-23-2006).]

Long distance relationships can work, but they rarely do. If you're both really willing to try, then go for it. It takes a lot of dedication on both your parts though, just talk to her about it.

Haha, this is too funny. I actually thought it was a joke at first(is it?). Anyway, I posted a thread pretty recently with almost the exact situation and title. I never had a specific question for the thread, it was mostly venting bullshit over the Internet cause I'm such a geek. No not really, but my thoughts were so scattered that I couldn't come up with just what exactly I wanted to ask. Anyway.

quote:Originally posted by chubbyman25:

Long distance relationships can work, but they rarely do. If you're both really willing to try, then go for it. It takes a lot of dedication on both your parts though, just talk to her about it.

It's pretty much like that.

My situation I mentioned is pretty damn close. We met this summer at work, I trained her, went out on a date, fell in love, blah, blah, blah. Virginities taken. We were together for the whole summer, every day, all day. Yeah it was pretty great. I have no doubt that she loves me. But she's off to college in Wisconsin while I'm in California. She's going to a four year, I'm going to a two year.

I know that if she was still here then we would still be together and we would probably be together for a real long time. After she left, I changed my mind and tried to convince her to do the long distance thing, but I never had any luck. I know it's better this way, but I just cant stand the thought of her being with someone else. But if I kept on trying to persuade her otherwise, I would start to push her away. (Which I actually did this past week)

Anyway, what I'm saying is if you both have the love for each other, but you also have to have the same mindset. I have no doubt that in my situation she loved me, and still does. Heck, we talk on the phone everyday, and still continuously say I love you. But she had her idea of what she wanted college to be long before she met me. In our situation, it would hold both of us back.

So if the passion is there for each other, and the same mindset, then it can work I think. But if there are any differences, then I think it's best to stay single until the next time you see each other. If your chemistry is that great, then it could easily happen again. That's what I hope anyway.

BTW, our standing agreement is that we will both be single, free to date any one, fuck anyone, kiss anyone, w/e. But until someone proves to make either of us happier, then we're still kind of waiting until the next time we see each other. But trust me, that's a lot easier said than done!

Don't know if any of that bullshit helped! Keep in mind that's why I started my own thread too! Good luck, bro.

http://www.totse.com/bbs/Forum4/HTML/023295.html

Long distance relationships can work, but like previously mentioned only if you put the effort in.

I did one for 3 years, from age 14-17. It all went to shit because of my stupidity, but thats another story.

Basically, they can work.

Unless one of you (whoever is older usually works best) plans on moving to where their partner lives, then don't even bother. It takes so much dedication, willingness to miss out on things other couples take for granted, and commitment that i wouldn't reccoment it unless you really do love this girl.

Where does she live, if you don't mind me asking? I'm in NY, and my girlfriend lives in Idaho, so i can probably sympathize.

Long distance relationships can be great. I continued to talk to a girl after she left. We had mutual masturbation. She'd fuck other guys, I'd fuck other girls. We still loved eachother. We'll love eachother years from now. But for now, we're fucking other people and loving eachother.

Dont tie yourself down with a woman you cant be with. You can continue to be friends, but what sort of a 'relationship' can you have? If you really love each other, then you can agree to be with each other as soon as its possible, but that could take years in some cases. In the meantime...you're only denying yourself experiences. Explore other women. You may find that the 'love' you had for this girl wasnt as strong as you thought, or you may discover that there really isnt quite anyone like her.

quote:Originally posted by SilentMind:

Dont tie yourself down with a woman you cant be with. You can continue to be friends, but what sort of a 'relationship' can you have? If you really love each other, then you can agree to be with each other as soon as its possible, but that could take years in some cases. In the meantime...you're only denying yourself experiences. Explore other women. You may find that the 'love' you had for this girl wasnt as strong as you thought, or you may discover that there really isnt quite anyone like her.





Good stuff.

quote:Originally posted by SilentMind:

Dont tie yourself down with a woman you cant be with. You can continue to be friends, but what sort of a 'relationship' can you have? If you really love each other, then you can agree to be with each other as soon as its possible, but that could take years in some cases. In the meantime...you're only denying yourself experiences. Explore other women. You may find that the 'love' you had for this girl wasnt as strong as you thought, or you may discover that there really isnt quite anyone like her.



That really depends on how comfortable they are with eachother. I know for a fact that my girlfriend would hate the thought of me being with other women, and likewise i'd hate the idea of her with other guys, even though we can't be together. So if it's something that will bother you, then be committed to eachother.

But, like SilentMind is saying - if seeing other people is okay with the both of you, then go for it! just pick something that will make the both of you happy, until you can be together physically.

Thanks guys. I should spend way more time in here.