So anyways, there was this event I went to, and I saw all my friends there that I had graduated with, like a reunion. I saw this girl that used to be in my class. I've always had a thing for her, but nothing serious. She looked a lot better than before, and it really looked like she had lost weight. She was really beautiful. Best part of all, she lives a few blocks from me. I was talking to her there, and I told her that I would take her out to Starbucks (since its close to where I live). I can't drive yet so we would have to walk, or take public transportation.

What should I do: walk or public transportation?

I some times have a little bit of trouble on starting conversations. What topics should we talk about?

Another problem is that she is one of my good friend's cousin. Would he get mad? My friends older brother is my friends too, what do you think they would do? What should I say?

Thanks.

[This message has been edited by total mayhem (edited 09-22-2006).]

Just do what comes from your heart - whether or not she returns your affection is something you can't control, but being true to yourself will influence the fostering of any affection she may have towards you. Stay true, brother.

Walking would give you more time to talk to her and just get her more comfortable around you and it also gives you a better opportunities to flirt with her. I have always found that music is a great topic to start off with since everyone listens to it and chances are there is at least some bands you both like. Also, if the person you like is cousins with a good friend of yours then if they are really a good friend they should be happy for you, not angry.

Good luck man

Irish

[This message has been edited by Veritas Aequitas (edited 09-22-2006).]

The guy above me pretty much got it. As for things to talk about, just gossip about former classmates. That should give you alot of things to talk about since you already have a bit of history together. If you're not liking that idea, then it's always good to ask people questions. Favourites are a good place to start. Favourite movie/book/colour/food/whatever.

Good luck!

You think I should take anything? Like flowers, chocolate...? Becuase this isn't really a "date", but I want it to be. I'm not sure if she wants it to be a date. This would be my first date ever.

no, dont bring her anything.If she doesnt consider it a date or have very noticeable interest in you giving her stuff would just make you seem desperate, clingy, wussy, or immature.To most girls at least...I speak from experience brotha.

^^^ What I was kinda thinking.

No flowers, no chocolates. I'd pay for her coffee, but that's just out of force of habit - it doesn't really matter, I don't think.

And walk, always walk. There's something romantic about a leisurely walk, as opposed to backing up against the side of the bus to avoid touching some random crackhead.

I guess you could say that I kinda like her, but do you think that I should touch her at all? As in hug, put my arm around her, or kiss her after I walk her home? I dont really know what to do because I've never had a girlfriend or ever been on a date.

First of all, walk. Second of all, on the first date, a kiss at the end of it is appropriate. Apart from that, keep the affection tight, but be sure to give her lots of smiles and eye contact.

quote:Originally posted by total mayhem:

I guess you could say that I kinda like her, but do you think that I should touch her at all? As in hug, put my arm around her, or kiss her after I walk her home? I dont really know what to do because I've never had a girlfriend or ever been on a date.

Going for a kiss on the lips will DEFINITELY let you know whether she has affections for ya or not...but it backfires if she doesn't. Tell her you're going to kiss her, and if she says no...well, atleast a friendship is still salvageable.

Be like, "I really like you, and I think I'm gonna kiss you." *kiss her* ... it'll let her know you're fairly knew to the shit, will explain any awkwardness there might have been in conversation, and she might even find it endearing that you're completely inexperienced but still got the balls to atleast try.

She's never had a boyfriend either, but you all know how girls go and gossip to their friends after a date or something. And iI know her friends, their gossip spreads like wildfire. What if she rejects me and never talks to me? Thats what I've always been afraid of. A girl who was your good friend, and you start to like her, you kiss her, she desnt like you, and everything backfires.

I know you guys probably think I'm rediculous and whiney, I've had a few crushes but I never have actually done anything.

[This message has been edited by total mayhem (edited 09-24-2006).]

quote:Originally posted by total mayhem:

She's never had a boyfriend either, but you all know how girls go and gossip to their friends after a date or something. And iI know her friends, their gossip spreads like wildfire. What if she rejects me and never talks to me? Thats what I've always been afraid of. A girl who was your good friend, and you start to like her, you kiss her, she desnt like you, and everything backfires.

I know you guys probably think I'm rediculous and whiney, I've had a few crushes but I never have actually done anything.



That's why you TELL her before you kiss her that you're going to; then if she says no, you don't do it, thus nothing for her to gossip about that actually does harm - you might be a fleeting bit of conversation for an hour, maybe a day or two, but it shouldn't be anything more than that (atleast if I remember schoolhouse dynamics with any accuracy).

Mate, there's nothing you can do if she decides to reject you. But if you keep your cool and play your part, she won't. You know this girl, so go with what you know and go with your instincts. Don't focus of fucking up, 'cos there's a million ways to fuck up. Instead, just focus on enjoying yourself.

You're going on a date with a beautiful girl who you really like. How much better could it get?

quote:Originally posted by stab:

Mate, there's nothing you can do if she decides to reject you. But if you keep your cool and play your part, she won't. You know this girl, so go with what you know and go with your instincts. Don't focus of fucking up, 'cos there's a million ways to fuck up. Instead, just focus on enjoying yourself.

You're going on a date with a beautiful girl who you really like. How much better could it get?

^That's a pretty healthy way to look at it: just enjoy yourself and do what feels right.

Wow, I have to say this is some bad advice.

Don't try anything on her, I would just take this as an opportunity to be with her. Don't buy her anything, don't kiss her or hug her or any of that shit. Just talk to her and enjoy yourself, and if things go realllly well you can plan to extend the time.

You have to give a bitch time. If everything is good, then ask her out to dinner... that's when you CAN plan to kiss her, or whatever. Call her and shit.

Jesus christ

Definately walk, public transportation is loud and there are many people listening in your conversation.

quote:Originally posted by Emo Robot Go:

Wow, I have to say this is some bad advice.

Don't try anything on her, I would just take this as an opportunity to be with her. Don't buy her anything, don't kiss her or hug her or any of that shit. Just talk to her and enjoy yourself, and if things go realllly well you can plan to extend the time.

You have to give a bitch time. If everything is good, then ask her out to dinner... that's when you CAN plan to kiss her, or whatever. Call her and shit.

Jesus christ

You know, you're right. I'm just taking this girl to Starbucks. It's not even a real date. She's just a friend for now. [b]I[b/] like her, I dont dont if she likes me, but she always makes sex jokes about me saying " hey let's fuck" or " your so sexy". Then again that's just a joke. So yeah I wont do anything right now, just have plain fun.

quote:Originally posted by total mayhem:

You know, you're right. I'm just taking this girl to Starbucks. It's not even a real date. She's just a friend for now. [b]I[b/] like her, I dont dont if she likes me, but she always makes sex jokes about me saying " hey let's fuck" or " your so sexy". Then again that's just a joke. So yeah I wont do anything right now, just have plain fun.



Good thinking, I like that. I would recommend to have fun, but be sure to slip in some of those warm moments where you talk about things you really care about, it should just come to you. Pay all sorts of attention to her, and seriously get personal. Tell her things about yourself that you wouldn't tell many other people, be sensitive as hell. You know, show your loving caring cute side. If she doesn't already like you a bit, this will make her fall for you alot, and see you as more than a friend. Be sure to keep the flirting up too.



Don't let her think of you as just a friend because that sucks, thats my problem right now

On our first date my husband took me to see "X-Files Fight the Future" and in the movie theatre he held my hand. He didn't try to kiss me, though, he just hugged me goodbye after our date. We sat and talked for hours after the movie...About everything.

the thing is that she's not those really deep type of people. She's more like the dumb blonde (she's a brunette thought) shallow type of people. She's not the smartest either. I don't want to buy my way into her heart, becuase that's just messed up.

You should talk about animals with her.

quote:Originally posted by Xiao Mei:

You should talk about animals with her.

Umm...OK....?

quote:Originally posted by Emo Robot Go:

Pay all sorts of attention to her, and seriously get personal. Tell her things about yourself that you wouldn't tell many other people, be sensitive as hell.

What the hell? No, god damn it, don't do that.

You said she's not the sharpest tool in the shed, a couple of beers short of a 6-pack, a few sandwiches short of a picnic, so stick with more airy-fairy concepts. Animals, as Xiao said, pets and all that rubbish. Family things. If she is as blonde as you say, then don't try for anything even remotely heavy.

Keep away from that emo crap.