Facts to note:

- We both (still) like eachother very much

- She is very honest and respects her parents

- Her, her father's, and anyone else's beliefs must be respected (like mature adults)

Story:

So I ended up going to that random party with Mitch. Didn't expect much from it. Hell, I was gonna leave after a couple of beers.

So I knock on the door, and a beautiful Asian girl answers, cutest voice I will ever hear.

Hours pass as this not-so-bad party is loaded with free liquor. Before I know it, she's in my lap, yes, she's Taiwanese. What a romantic time I had. I really like her. We exchange numbers before she leaves. Despite my high level of intoxication, she left a very clear impression in my mind. I want her.

We end up meeting up the next day - just a sober chat and a movie with two other guys who were at the party lastnight. Nothing much - but not disappointed by any means.

After weeks of not much contact, I decide to join her Japanese class and quit Maths and Thermo - since I wont be doing Engineering next year anyway so might as well increase my GPA so I can get into Pharmacy.

Before joining Jap, I am invited to one of her friend's parties - a dress-up one if you will. Knowing me, I go as a sailor. Long story shorter, I hook up with her and have an amazingly romantic time. We really like eachother at this point.

I join her Japanese class. Now, I see her twice a week. It's going ok - still just friends.

Weeks pass, I am waiting, why? I don't know.

I finally ask her to lunch and I pop the question. She says "Do you really think I would say no?", but then she tells me that, since her Father is very traditional, he wouldn't approve of the relationship, she is only allowed to date traditional Taiwanese guys.

Despite this seemingly minor set back, we decide we will do it under-cover (from her parents).

We are officially dating at this point. I am completely amazed at how much this girl is my 'type'. She is, in everyway, perfect to me. She is the cutest girl I will ever meet.

We see eachother every time we can. During the week at uni.

One weekend (last Saturday) we decide to meet up. We end up spending the entire day together, and her excuse of "studying with cousin after the exam" is clearly not going to cut it.

So.. being the honest girl she is, she tells her parents about me, everything.

This, knowing her father, does not go down quite smoothly. She is told that she must break up with me, otherwise, it will devastate her family, and there will be serious consequences (including her dad not talking to her, her being cut-off, etc.)

Not because of the serious consequences, but rather her genuine respect for her father, and family as a whole, she morally abides by the rules.

So there it ends...

All gone.

God hates me, whatever God is.

I just went through 4 months of getting over my last girlfriend.

Just when I thought the tables had turned, when I thought I got myself a genuine girl, it's all in ruins.

And this time I don't have anyone to get angry at, All I have it her pretty smile and cute voice.

And I still have to see her 6 hours a week in Japanese



Fuck You God.

As the saying goes: "If it seems too good to be true, it most likely is."

(ps. please no flames, tl/dr's, or similar, I just want understanding, )

That sucks. Like, really sucks. Sorry to hear it, man.

Hey man, my condolences. Those fathers can be a real pain I guess.

You say you're at uni, so whatever man. I'm guessing one of you has a place of your own, plus the fact that she is forbidden to be with you. Just makes IT EVEN HOTTER. Whoo!

Wow... that fucking sucks, dude. Condolences.

Are you sure it's unsalvageable, though? I tend to think I can charm any parent given an hour of polite chit-chat, but I've never gone up against Tradition like that. Couldn't hurt to float it, right?

quote:Originally posted by Underscore:

That sucks. Like, really sucks. Sorry to hear it, man.

QFT.

At least you had some great moments though, right?

quote:Originally posted by StillArmedStillAngry:

Wow... that fucking sucks, dude. Condolences.

Are you sure it's unsalvageable, though? I tend to think I can charm any parent given an hour of polite chit-chat, but I've never gone up against Tradition like that. Couldn't hurt to float it, right?

No use dude.

Her parents are mega strict.

Them letting her even talk to me as a friend is a big ask.

Well, fuck.

That sucks the big one, bro. Sometimes it's out of your hands though. Fuck it - hang in there, man. The Wheel Turns.

Tell her to lie to her parents. If she's not willing to tell them "oh I'm going to study" or whatever, she's not worth mourning over.

Dunno about that. I like a girl who shows a little family loyalty. It shows character, if nothing else.

Go ahead and mourn, dude. Just know that this will pass, and might in fact make a pretty kickass novel someday.

It hasn't even hit me yet.

The relationship was so perfect that, my mind still can't comprehend that its just over so quickly.

I keep thinking it was a bad dream that I had, or something.

My mind is in complete denial.

I really don't know how to take it.

Fuck

Take it as a forbidden fruit. The ultimate temptation. To deny yourself of this, after having been denied, is the ultimate test of character.

For her to deny herself of you, after having been denied, is the ultimate test of her character likewise.

I also suggest paying attention to your Japanese studies a lot.

quote:Originally posted by Sailor-Boy:

I finally ask her to lunch and I pop the question. She says "Do you really think I would say no?",

[/B]

thats a rather odd way to say yes. it just caught my eye. did you ask in an odd way? what did you say?

btw, y is it that your gf would obey everything her dad says, (without reasoning or rebelling?) it just comes accross as immature.

quote:Originally posted by stab:

I suggest paying attention to your Japanese studies a lot.

Why do you say that?

Seriously though, the relationship was perfect. There was not one thing wrong with it (except for her parents). The interaction between me and her was flawless.

How the fuck am I supposed to accept this?

Its all down the drain, like that.

Fucking hell.

I got 3 hours of sleep lastnight. I don't even want to go to uni today. I have work til late tonight - I don't even want to think about how I'm going to feel then..

Since my break-up with my other girlfriend I was pretty depressed and lonely, but when this girl came along, it was like I had something to wake up for every morning.

I could take anything, just knowing that I had the greatest girlfriend I could dream of.

What do I have to wake up for now?

What's the point?

Just before my finals as well.

Then it will be 3 months break. Fucking great

Another lonely summer. Just wondering of what-could-have-been.

Why does it have to suck so bad?

Can't God just give me one, just one little fucking chance?

I wish I never even met her.

What a fucking waste.

God just gave me a taste of how good it is, then took it all away from me.

quote:Originally posted by kennyonfire:

1. thats a rather odd way to say yes. it just caught my eye. did you ask in an odd way? what did you say?

2. btw, y is it that your gf would obey everything her dad says, (without reasoning or rebelling?) it just comes accross as immature.

1. We just liked eachother for so long and it was pretty obvious too. I just asked "So, do you want to be my girlfriend?".

2. Of course she rebels. She tried to negotiate a lot with the parents. But in the end, the underlying theme is that she must respect her parents' beliefs. And lying to them, although they will never find out, will be morally wrong in her mind.

I can't find any songs I can relate to. My last break-up, songs helped me a lot.

Can anyone know of any songs that I could potentially relate to?

if the relationship is so perfect i guess you guys can get back together when her parent think she is old enough to date.

how old are yous anyway?

quote:Originally posted by kennyonfire:

if the relationship is so perfect i guess you guys can get back together when her parent think she is old enough to date.

how old are yous anyway?

Both 18.

It's not her age that's the problem dude.. . I guess it's over forever.

awwwwww *tears* what a bunch of nazis for parents.

I am beginning to really dislike oriental parents. What kind of fucked up people immigrate to a western country and don't allow their children to conform to it? I have an asian friend, he grew up here but his parents were ethnic chinese from vietnam, and he's just been told his mother has to live with him forever as "that's the traditional chinese way".

I don't care how many of her families ancestor ghosts it will dishonour, if she's not going to defy her parents to be with you..there's not much point in getting upset about it. Obviously her incompatable cultural beliefs are more important to her than you.

quote:Originally posted by rabbitweed:

Obviously her incompatable cultural beliefs are more important to her than you.

It's not HER beliefs.

It's the respect that she has for her parents, especially her father.

She had to choose between this relationship or her family.

^ummm, her unhealthy respect for her family is part of her cultural beliefs. What kind of self-respecting westener gives two shits what their parents think when it comes to love?

That's just depressing...

Go get drunk.

quote:Originally posted by rabbitweed:

^ummm, her unhealthy respect for her family is part of her cultural beliefs. What kind of self-respecting westener gives two shits what their parents think when it comes to love?

Look, I don't want to get into some fucking argument right now alright? I'm not very fucking happy.

What I'm saying is:

She was brought up by strict parents.

She is honest (so she tells her parents things regardless of the consequences, thats just her morals)

She is not going to be dishonest to her parents (because it will goes against her morals)

Her parents actually told her that it will be a disgrace to her family, and will ruin her family, and her dad will never ever speak to her, and she will be cut off (money and everything else wise) if she went out with me.

If she were to date me, it would come across to her parents as 'purposely going against their wishes'.

Anyway, I need to head to uni

quote:Originally posted by Sailor-Boy:

Why do you say that?

Well, since you're in her class, you'd best focus on anything but her.

quote:Originally posted by Sailor-Boy:

I can't find any songs I can relate to. My last break-up, songs helped me a lot.

Can anyone know of any songs that I could potentially relate to?

I actually set out to write you a song then, but kinda lost ideas for lyrics, and figured it would be a bit... well, not very professional, you'd know it was done in 30 seconds.

Some of the best breakup music is: Something For Kate (get it, get it all), Magic Dirt, Little Birdy, Pete Murray, and Jack Johnson.

All Australian bands If you're not from here, then you'll never have heard of them.

Feel better mate *e-man-hug*

EDIT: holy crap, you ARE from Australia O_O

[This message has been edited by stab (edited 09-20-2006).]

bro...im sorry.It aint over though my friend...

I have an answer.A very tough answer for you my friend.Go on wikipedia and learn all about her cultures values and etiquette.You...yourself...like an honorable goddamn gentleman call her father and arrange a meeting.If not see if you can set up a time and find him (at work maybe) and talk to him.Sit down, be utterly respectful,express your feelings, be sincere but not whiny or bitchy.Be manly, be straight,be proud, quiet,calm, honorable and give your opinion of the situation.Emphasize your respect for his daughter, him, and his values.Tell him like it is and formally ask him if you can date his daughter.If despite all your efforts he still denies you then calmly ask why.Give your ideas.If all else fails this man now respects you and if you date his daughter when she has her freedom...he might hate you...but will still respect you.

[QUOTE]Originally posted by TruthWielder:

[B]bro...im sorry.It aint over though my friend...

I have an answer.A very tough answer for you my friend.Go on wikipedia and learn all about her cultures values and etiquette.You...yourself...like an honorable goddamn gentleman call her father and arrange a meeting.If not see if you can set up a time and find him (at work maybe) and talk to him.Sit down, be utterly respectful,express your feelings, be sincere but not whiny or bitchy.Be manly, be straight,be proud, quiet,calm, honorable and give your opinion of the situation.Emphasize your respect for his daughter, him, and his values.Tell him like it is and formally ask him if you can date his daughter.If despite all your efforts he still denies you then calmly ask why.Give your ideas.If all else fails this man now respects you and if you date his daughter when she has her freedom...he might hate you...but will still respect you and that is worth a hell of a lot.But I doubt if you love this girl enough to do all that you can.

The "Romeo & Juliet" in the title lead me to believe there would be soem kind of tragic dual-suicide, but obviously you aren't dead since you posted this...

Then I skimmed through the replies (way too long), and saw the words "mourn" and "condolences" used several times.

So I started to feel bad, and re-read the original post looking for a death of some kind.

Nope, just a total overdramatization.

Try "Def Leppard - Miss You In A Heartbeat".

Always makes me think of my ex.

edit: I forgot to ask, are you or were you ever part of a navy, or do you go sailing? Just curious about your username.

[This message has been edited by Soda_Can_Sniper (edited 09-21-2006).]

quote:Originally posted by TruthWielder:

bro...im sorry.It aint over though my friend...

I have an answer.A very tough answer for you my friend.Go on wikipedia and learn all about her cultures values and etiquette.You...yourself...like an honorable goddamn gentleman call her father and arrange a meeting.If not see if you can set up a time and find him (at work maybe) and talk to him.Sit down, be utterly respectful,express your feelings, be sincere but not whiny or bitchy.Be manly, be straight,be proud, quiet,calm, honorable and give your opinion of the situation.Emphasize your respect for his daughter, him, and his values.Tell him like it is and formally ask him if you can date his daughter.If despite all your efforts he still denies you then calmly ask why.Give your ideas.If all else fails this man now respects you and if you date his daughter when she has her freedom...he might hate you...but will still respect you.



I have a better idea. Learn kung fu, then challenge her father to a fight to the death.

[This message has been edited by rabbitweed (edited 09-21-2006).]

quote:Originally posted by rabbitweed:

I am beginning to really dislike oriental parents. What kind of fucked up people immigrate to a western country and don't allow their children to conform to it? I have an asian friend, he grew up here but his parents were ethnic chinese from vietnam, and he's just been told his mother has to live with him forever as "that's the traditional chinese way".

I don't care how many of her families ancestor ghosts it will dishonour, if she's not going to defy her parents to be with you..there's not much point in getting upset about it. Obviously her incompatable cultural beliefs are more important to her than you.

I know how gay that shit is as i am asian, and what asian parents only wants is for their children to be more successful than themselves, not ENJOY life more than themselves (being the shallow bastards they are , man i hate my parents) but since I do well at everything i do (kind of a high image of myself, but seriously, there is nothing one should complane about my performance) . therefore, i tell can tell my parents to fuck off and make it up to them with a good report card. im 17 btw.

quote:Originally posted by Sailor-Boy:

She is honest (so she tells her parents things regardless of the consequences, thats just her morals)

That's why she lied before, then.

And here I was expecting a Bel-Air at the end of the OP.

No I'm not a sailor or anyhting similar.

--------------------------------

Talking to her dad, as someone suggested,... I don't know. He is retired (has been since the girl was born) so I will have to go to their house and talk. If Her and I were about to get married, yes of course I would go speak to the man. But from what I hear (from her friends etc,) he is not very "friendly" - at all. The man was brought up with these beliefs, its not something he will just give up on with a talk to some teenager.

Anyway.

I don't think I can do anything. No matter what I do, and EVEN IF i get back together with her under-cover from her parents, one day it must be faced.

Its going to be one of those things, you know?:

When I get married to someone else, I am still going to think about this girl, and how I wish I could have married her instead, wondering of what-could-have-been.

I'm going to hate it.

I saw her today for a few hours 'as friends', it was ok, wasn't awkward, thinking of what we would have been doing if we were still going out made me sad - a lot.

Anyway.

Enough of this rant. I will be ok, even if I will wonder for the rest of my life.

Talk to her father man, ask for permission to date her daughter. What the fuck do you have to lose now

quote:Originally posted by Sailor-Boy:

I will never date a girl who:

- is Fake

- plays games

- is cold/unaffectionate

- doesn't smile

- is ugly

- doesn't look after herself

- doesn't do anything about her obesity

- is blonde

- is dumb

- is easy

- is easier when drunk (disregards rules when alcohol is involved)

- is too tall

- is long-sighted (needs glasses to read)

- wears too much make-up

- does any drug other than alcohol

- smokes

- lives more than 8km away from me

- has too many guy-friends for my comfortability

- worries about her looks more than her own comfort

- listens to techno/emo

- is goth/emo

- does not have any boobs (<B)

- swears

- chooses softdrink over juice

- is insecure

- uses hairspray

- spends more than 15 minutes on her hair on a rainy day.

- doesn't respect her parents / swears at her parents

- doesn't know how to have fun without drugs/alcohol.

- cries over nothing

- is racist

- is a know-it-all

- doesn't engage in any physical excercise

- doesn't respect the relationship

Any of those - then its bye-bye, no questions asked.

Quoted from the "Deal-Breakers" thread...

Well with standards like that.. you should find another girl in no time.

quote:Originally posted by gadzooks:

Quoted from the "Deal-Breakers" thread...

Well with standards like that.. you should find another girl in no time.

What are you trying to do man?

I don't just go out with any girl.

Why do you think I feel a severe loss?

I'd rather be desperate for a while and find a decent girl than go find some random blonde chick and have a boring 3 month relationship and gain nothing.

lol ya saying that shit about God is sure gana make everything better.

We see eachother as friends now and we still have feelings for eachother. When we're together its exactly the same as going out (but with no touching-eachother). We still smile and look at eachother in the eyes the same way - the romantic way.

My intuition and sheer experience tells me that, in the end, both of us are going to get hurt. For example, what happens when one of us starts dating other people? She still thinks we should see eachother as friends.

Now, while I'm talking about that, I would just like to admit that, last night I was out, and I hooked up and had dance-sex with this random chick. I don't feel bad or anything like that... why? Because it was completely 'legal'? The whole time I was wishing it was my (ex)gf, but yeah.. mmm.. if she found out, I think she would truly appreciate the implications of being friends with someone you have feelings for.

Well, nice rant, huh?

I'm going to go think more.