Its been over a year since I graduated, and it seems like many people in my class year are getting married or having kids or are in some long term relationship. I just dont understand how a 18/19 year old thinks that getting married at that age is a good idea. First off theres the problem with being tied down. No more fun, youre stuck with her. And kids...wtf? There was a girl who had alocker next to mine since the 6th grade and shes having a baby in a month. She must have had 3 abortions during high school, but shes keeping this one. She is a heavy drug user and so is the father. I've known both of these people for a long time and they are probably the most unfit parents in the history of parenting.

Sometimes I just want to walk up to these people getting married and ask them "Do you honestly think youll be with this person in 5 years?" The chances of divorce are so high. I dont know, I guess this is a B&M rant, but I just wanted to see what everyone else thought about getting married at 19 years old.

Common sense.

/thread

The concept of marriage needs to be abolished entirely.

A legal union needs to have prequests to be viable for all of the legal rewards. You must file first, and then live together for a year, as if you were united (during this time you would have a technical union. It would be limited by time).

After that year, if you still want to be together, you must live together for five years. This union is a normal one, but you still must be able to, after five years, say you want to be together. If, after five years you can say that you still want to be together, you'd get a true union that cannot be abolished except for medical reasons (no "Oh I don't like him/her anymore bullshit. Unless they die, you're together. You wanted it, and waited six years for it. Deal with it.").

Of course, this is in a logical society.

I got married when I was 17 and my husband was 22...It will be 9 years this March.

quote:Originally posted by Xiao Mei:

I got married when I was 17 and my husband was 22...It will be 9 years this March.

and you had a child at...20? or was it 21?

xiao is one of the people that wanted that life, and it has worked for her.

but i do see where you are coming from. there is this one guy my boyfriend dorms with and he is 'engaged' to his girlfriend of two years. she is still a senior in high school. this guy is one of the most insecure and immature people i have ever met. if they do end up getting married i don't see it lasting for more than a few months. this chick is 3 hours away from him atm, and she is driving him crazy.

but he 'loves' her.

and i am just turning 18 (thurday...woohoo!) and have been in a relationship with a guy for a year and a half. i don't see anything wrong with this. just because i am not sleeping around does not mean i am wasting my youth. if he and i do break up i would be sad and want to be in another serious relationship. i like them more than flings and meaningless stuff.

quote:Originally posted by Xiao Mei:

I got married when I was 17 and my husband was 22...It will be 9 years this March.

Wow, one out of several thousand; nevermind everyone should get married before they can buy a pack of cigarettes.

quote:Originally posted by y4m4:

Wow, one out of several thousand; nevermind everyone should get married before they can buy a pack of cigarettes.



Make that 2 out of several thousand.

[This message has been edited by jackketch (edited 09-19-2006).]

quote:Originally posted by jackketch:



Make that 2 out of several thousand.



meh, i was gonna say something, but nevermind.

actually, don't you think there is a difference between staying together for the children and being in a happy healthy relationship with the person you are married to? not trying to be rude, lord master ketch, but i don't your relationship with mrs. ketch is the same as xiao's with mr. mei.

What are you from the Ozarks or something? I got married when I was 17 and divorced when I was 19, but this was a freak incident where I'm from. So, while I can't really advocate in the direction of getting married that young, I do have to say that the other day my mother said something to me that I think it relevant to this.

I was talking to her about how my boyfriend wants me to move in with him and I told her I think it's crazy and that we should wait. We haven't even been together a year yet, blah blah blah. And she says to me (to my very great surprise)

"Don't wait. So what if it doesn't work out? So what if you stay together a ten months or a life time? Live your life while you're alive. If this is something that's making you happy, you should do it."

And depending on your situation, I think she's right.

Cheers,

Lost

When you find that person...the one you just know you can spend the rest of your life with...its great.

Only when the feeling is mutual.

quote:Originally posted by gmail:

Its been over a year since I graduated, and it seems like many people in my class year are getting married or having kids or are in some long term relationship. I just dont understand how a 18/19 year old thinks that getting married at that age is a good idea. First off theres the problem with being tied down. No more fun, youre stuck with her. And kids...wtf? There was a girl who had alocker next to mine since the 6th grade and shes having a baby in a month. She must have had 3 abortions during high school, but shes keeping this one. She is a heavy drug user and so is the father. I've known both of these people for a long time and they are probably the most unfit parents in the history of parenting.

Sometimes I just want to walk up to these people getting married and ask them "Do you honestly think youll be with this person in 5 years?" The chances of divorce are so high. I dont know, I guess this is a B&M rant, but I just wanted to see what everyone else thought about getting married at 19 years old.



I had my first baby when I was 16. My boyfriend and I have been together since I was 15. We're now 18 with another baby on the way. We'd get married, but my insurance is just too good right now.

Yea no fucking shit, i heard some girls talking about getting married, like they cant wait and they were like 18-19, 20 at the most..its like are you serious..fucking retarded..talk about signing your life away early....i wouldnt give a damn how hot a chick was if she wanted to get married young(im 19) at like 19...and it was either get married or go single again..id go single again....pussy aint that important.



[This message has been edited by NitrousMafia (edited 09-19-2006).]

quote:Originally posted by jackketch:



Make that 2 out of several thousand.



Make that 3. I was headed for the gutter and he was headed for jail. We needed each other, helped pick the others pieces of the ground and came to a point in life where going out, partying, being wasted and drugged 24/7 just stopped looking so good. Especially in the mornings where each day started to blend into the next in terms of shittiness. We´re not stupid, and know damn well neither of us could cope with kids yet since we can barely cope with each other.

However, it´s not wasted youth. The years spent fucking, drinking, snorting, where wasted youth. If I had a time machine I´d go back and kick myself in the ass.

And getting married young isn´t that uncommon.It was however really creepy when my friend´s cousin got married at 16. Their family is religious... and the whole story behind the wedding reaked of a really creepy short pedophile. She got engaged at 14. And even that is not uncommon... Depends on culture and country...

quote:Originally posted by Gus:

The concept of marriage needs to be abolished entirely.

A legal union needs to have prequests to be viable for all of the legal rewards. You must file first, and then live together for a year, as if you were united (during this time you would have a technical union. It would be limited by time).

After that year, if you still want to be together, you must live together for five years. This union is a normal one, but you still must be able to, after five years, say you want to be together. If, after five years you can say that you still want to be together, you'd get a true union that cannot be abolished except for medical reasons (no "Oh I don't like him/her anymore bullshit. Unless they die, you're together. You wanted it, and waited six years for it. Deal with it.").

Of course, this is in a logical society.

That'd be alright, except the union can't be abolished unless they die. You're asking for a shitload of murder/suicides.

quote:Originally posted by LostCause:

What are you from the Ozarks or something? I got married when I was 17 and divorced when I was 19, but this was a freak incident where I'm from. So, while I can't really advocate in the direction of getting married that young, I do have to say that the other day my mother said something to me that I think it relevant to this.

I was talking to her about how my boyfriend wants me to move in with him and I told her I think it's crazy and that we should wait. We haven't even been together a year yet, blah blah blah. And she says to me (to my very great surprise)

"Don't wait. So what if it doesn't work out? So what if you stay together a ten months or a life time? Live your life while you're alive. If this is something that's making you happy, you should do it."

And depending on your situation, I think she's right.

Cheers,

Lost

Wow, I really got a new perspective from that, I'll probably remember that forever. Your mom is a wise woman.

More like they just need to put an age restriction on when you can have kids. Meaning anyone under the age of say 21 who is pregnant is forced to have an abortion.

That would fix all the teenage mothers, and not introduce any more fucked up kids into society.

I had a baby at 20.

quote:Originally posted by Gus:

The concept of marriage needs to be abolished entirely.

A legal union needs to have prequests to be viable for all of the legal rewards. You must file first, and then live together for a year, as if you were united (during this time you would have a technical union. It would be limited by time).

After that year, if you still want to be together, you must live together for five years. This union is a normal one, but you still must be able to, after five years, say you want to be together. If, after five years you can say that you still want to be together, you'd get a true union that cannot be abolished except for medical reasons (no "Oh I don't like him/her anymore bullshit. Unless they die, you're together. You wanted it, and waited six years for it. Deal with it.").

Of course, this is in a logical society.

Yeah, because your precious logical society would know best for individuals...your imagined logical society is just as fucked up an idea as the current society. You're human, your ideas, just like mine and every other person's ideas, are completely counter-productive and suck...accept it and get over it.

quote:Originally posted by Xiao Mei:

I had a baby at 20.



I was born march 1968 and my eldest was born march 1989.

Someone else do the maths for me please..my head hurts.

Marraige at a young age is only a wasted life if your partner is a piece of shit control-freak and you're actually submissive enough to let them have control.

quote:Originally posted by jackketch:



I was born march 1968 and my eldest was born march 1989.

Someone else do the maths for me please..my head hurts.

21

quote:Originally posted by jackketch:



I was born march 1968 and my eldest was born march 1989.

Someone else do the maths for me please..my head hurts.

I'm sorry, I can't comprehend numbers that go higher than about 10 right now!:P

All I can tell you is you were over 10 and under 40!

quote:Originally posted by CarbonB:

More like they just need to put an age restriction on when you can have kids. Meaning anyone under the age of say 21 who is pregnant is forced to have an abortion.

That would fix all the teenage mothers, and not introduce any more fucked up kids into society.

I'm not sure that would prevent anymore fucked up kids being born into society.

People are capable of fucking up their children no matter how old they are.

But, you're right in a sense. It almost feels like there should be some sort of age limit on when you can have kids if there's so many age limits on everything else. It's odd that you can't get married in most states until you're 18 but you can legally have a baby if you're 14...

Cheers,

Lost

Yup, my friend's 20 and he just impregnated his 18 year old girlfriend. He's fucked, I feel sorry for him. Oh well...

quote:Originally posted by Hexadecimal:

[...]accept it and get over it.

Except that I won't, because I know I'm right.

Join us, flamer. JOIN US.

quote:Originally posted by Jackketchs Muse:

What makes you think he's not happily married?

Ummm everything he's ever said on this forum?!

My parents got married when my dad was 20, and my mom was 18. They have no regrets about it, and are celebrating their 30th anniversary next year, and are still very much in love. I'm getting married in a few years at 24, gf will be 20. My brother just got married at 24 to his 22 year old wife.

To me, I've partied, I've lived thousands of kilometers away living a dream, did my drugs, cause my shit, and I have nothing left to do except settle into a carreer, and marry my woman who I love a lot. She is amazing to me, and no woman could replace her, and I really don't want any others. I'm the same to her, so this is the right choice for me in life. Being single sucked, and I'm much happier now with a partner in life. I got engaged last saturday. Anyone who doesn't understand, just hasn't met the right person to complete their lives. Once you do, everything will make sense as to why you aren't throwing away your life but actually improving it.

quote:Originally posted by Gus:

The concept of marriage needs to be abolished entirely.



Nonsense. The terms of the union should be decided upon by those who form it. They are the two who will be living under this new label on their relationship, so they alone should be the ones to define it. To each their own, right?

Gus is being ridiculous.

True, but I've always had the impression that he's a slightly jaded individual, probably on account of a bad break up/divorce?

quote:Originally posted by Jackketchs Muse:

I don't recall ever seeing him write that he was unhappy...

Not exactly, but he did tell us that he had left his wife for some other girl that stole his bear. ..Aaand that the only reason he came back was because his kids were being abused or something.

quote:Originally posted by Jackketchs Muse:

I don't recall ever seeing him write that he was unhappy...

But he always calls her "Mrs. Rochester" which means that he hates her and thinks that she's crazy.

Also he never talks about her in any kind of positive way and he's said before that he only stays with her because of their children. I think he probably used to be happy with her, but I've always gotten the impression that he views her with nothing more than weary disgust.:/

I actually kind of pity her...I can't imagine how I would feel if my husband felt so negatively about me...But then maybe she hates him too?

quote:Originally posted by Jackketchs Muse:

What makes you think he's not happily married?



multiple posts he has made in the past. the one that sticks out in my mind the most is when he told his back story and said the only reason he went back to his wife after he had lived with the other woman was because she had a shitty boyfriend in the house and he feared for his children.

i want to be married early, but early to me is '21', no earlier! not like those crazy kids

I totally hear ya. 21 is "early" for me and I'm thikning about getting married around 22, but no earlier than that.

I'm 23 and I've been with the same girl for near 7 years now. We've lived together for the past 4. We're not married, but I am assuming there is no real difference other than paperwork.

I don't feel like I am wasting my life. Am I supposed to go out and get drunk, get high, get laid? That's not the kind of person I am. I've never been drunk or tried any drugs. I've never wanted to do that.

I think you are generalizing everything based on your own personal opinion that you could not settle down. You are not the world, though.

How could you have never wanted to try drugs or alcohol? What is your sex life like if you weren't even outgoing enough to try a little booze, or even some pot? Just curious, just don't expect someone that has never touched a substance to get to wild in the bedroom.

quote:Originally posted by easeoflife22:

How could you have never wanted to try drugs or alcohol? What is your sex life like if you weren't even outgoing enough to try a little booze, or even some pot? Just curious, just don't expect someone that has never touched a substance to get to wild in the bedroom.

I didn't realize you had to be doped up to be outgoing. Nice conclusion!

quote:Originally posted by Gus:

The concept of marriage needs to be abolished entirely.

A legal union needs to have prequests to be viable for all of the legal rewards. You must file first, and then live together for a year, as if you were united (during this time you would have a technical union. It would be limited by time).

After that year, if you still want to be together, you must live together for five years. This union is a normal one, but you still must be able to, after five years, say you want to be together. If, after five years you can say that you still want to be together, you'd get a true union that cannot be abolished except for medical reasons (no "Oh I don't like him/her anymore bullshit. Unless they die, you're together. You wanted it, and waited six years for it. Deal with it.").

Of course, this is in a logical society.



Yeah, REAL logical.

You're an idiot.