I was thinking about it, is it possible for a relationship to work long term with an athiest and someone who's incredibly religious?

I'm athiest, and as far as I know everyone I've dated has believed in God in some way, but what about a REALLY religious person like, "my best friend is jesus!"

I'm not looking into anyone, I was just thinking about it while drving today :-P

From my point of view, I don't care if one is religious, as long as they don't

1: beg me to go to church

2: try to convert me

3: expect me to get married in a church, (besides outdoors are cuter)



But I'm thinking with an extreme religious person it must be diffrent from what I've expirienced. Because their lives revolve around God, how can they NOT want to spread his message/convert someone they love? They do afterall think it "saves" your soul.



My opinion? they say god is a absolutely rational/good being. So he'll understand why I don't believe him, so come my dieing day, I think I'll be ok :-P

Possible..yes . Depends a whole lot on them as a person, wether they were raised in the faith or are they converts and VIP what faith/denomination.

quote:Originally posted by jackketch:

Possible..yes . Depends a whole lot on them as a person, wether they were raised in the faith or are they converts and VIP what faith/denomination.

I'll agree with you on that, but I only know from my point of view.

For me religion holds absolutely no place in my life, so very rarely enters my thoughts/daily life.

I need an extreme religious person's opinion or two

Problem is that an extreme devout or pious person will not even consider any relationship except marriage and that only to a fellow believer.

quote:Originally posted by jackketch:

Problem is that an extreme devout or pious person will not even consider any relationship except marriage and that only to a fellow believer.

ok ok, not an amish type extremeist, someone whom realises it's 2006, yet thinks god is his best friend.

I want to get married in a church, it just feels like the right thing to do. I guess I'd consider myself more Agnostic though, it'd be nice to believe that there is something after death but it's kind of hard to reasonably come to such a conclusion.

quote:Originally posted by casanova:

I want to get married in a church, it just feels like the right thing to do. I guess I'd consider myself more Agnostic though, it'd be nice to believe that there is something after death but it's kind of hard to reasonably come to such a conclusion.



I agree, my entire childhood I tried to believe, even spoke with church officials, couldn't get myself into it.

The church thing, I understand what you mean, the idea of communion, and missing a great view are what sets me off.

Now were it a church in germany, or rome, or somewhere, then it may be a diffrent story, those are breath taking

Personally I still think we need to remove the legal power a religious ceremony such as marriage has in our society, and replace it with the much more acceptable (considering no one can agree on anything, that is) legal union. I don't understand how non-religious people can be so alright with preforming a religious ceremony like this. Doesn't feel right, to me. Totally off topic, but it was the first thing that popped into my head.

Ah, and yeah there are usually massive issues with the non-religious and religious dating. How children are brought up (teach them about God? Teach them about nothing in that fashion? Teach them both and see which one they pick, similar to two kids betting on which person a dog will choose if put between them, etc...), Sunday activities (sleeping is nice, but that's not saving your soul, right?) and that entire wall of other things that separated you before you fell "in love".

Of course, though, love has a silly way of making that wall seem like a tiny little raised piece of dirt. Very easily surmountable. Just hope that you don't come down anytime soon, or you might end up in more trouble than you'd understand how to get out of.

They'll end up getting inside your head and beginning the conversion. Then, when you end up leaving the religious one, everything they told you lingers in your thoughts and fucks with your every action you take.

Trust me, it's happened.

Its not going to be possible to have any long term relationship.

Conflict of interests, anyone?

quote:Originally posted by ArgonPlasma2000:

Its not going to be possible to have any long term relationship.

Conflict of interests, anyone?

Oh it's possible. I've even known Joho's who have remained happily married with non-believers. It can be done. But it's bloody hard work for both.

quote:Originally posted by Gus:

Personally I still think we need to remove the legal power a religious ceremony such as marriage has in our society, and replace it with the much more acceptable (considering no one can agree on anything, that is) legal union. I don't understand how non-religious people can be so alright with preforming a religious ceremony like this. Doesn't feel right, to me. Totally off topic, but it was the first thing that popped into my head.

Ah, and yeah there are usually massive issues with the non-religious and religious dating. How children are brought up (teach them about God? Teach them about nothing in that fashion? Teach them both and see which one they pick, similar to two kids betting on which person a dog will choose if put between them, etc...), Sunday activities (sleeping is nice, but that's not saving your soul, right?) and that entire wall of other things that separated you before you fell "in love".

Of course, though, love has a silly way of making that wall seem like a tiny little raised piece of dirt. Very easily surmountable. Just hope that you don't come down anytime soon, or you might end up in more trouble than you'd understand how to get out of.

...When I got married it wasn't religious at all. The ceremony was performed by a notary and literally took like 5 minutes. Then we all signed the marraige license and went our merry ways.:P

Actually, my husband and I went to a fine breakfast at Ihop afterwards and then he had to go to work.

I went around all day for the rest of the day telling EVERYONE I encountered that I had just gotten married. What can I say? I was 17!:P

quote:Originally posted by Xiao Mei:

...When I got married it wasn't religious at all.

But the term "marriage" is a term that was taken from the religious act of marriage. And as thus, it is tainted forever as a "lesser form" of the "holy act of the bond between a man and a woman".

The legal aspect of such an act, though, should be equal no matter who is being bonded. If you can't understand why I'm saying this, then you might be a redneck!

Well I do live in Georgia!

Oh dear sweet Jebus we have our selves a REDNECK!!

*Takes out his shotgun*

GET OFF MY PROPERTY!!!

*Fires at random, enjoying the sound of wasted buckshot*

Ok, ok, wait... Off topic!!

Alright... A difference in ideals so vast as that of a religious and non-religious person is doomed to fail, unless one is submissive to an extreme (they are willing to become whatever the other sees fit for them)

If that's the case, you'll be fine.

quote:Originally posted by Gus:

unless one is submissive to an extreme (they are willing to become whatever the other sees fit for them)



Which a good christian wife should be ("Wives obey your Husbands in ALL things" as it says in the Good Book.)

[This message has been edited by jackketch (edited 09-19-2006).]

haha

Yeah I can see where the conflict in raising children especially would come up.

I THINK my parents are religious, they let me make up my own mind.

Then again even though I went to church now and then, I couldn't believe.

quote:Originally posted by jackketch:

Which a good christian wife should be ("Wives obey your Husbands in ALL things" as it says in the Good Book.)



Ah, makes me want to become Christian!

"Now hun, you know what the bible says... Balance that book on your head while giving me a blowjob, and cooking dinner... GO!!"

It "can" work... but there will be alot of weird fights (read my last thread, it's still on the front page).

Ironically, you may end up converting her to an Athiest, but if that lasts is anyone's guess.

I guess love conquers all (Unless Love is a sin, that is).

quote:Originally posted by jackketch:

Which a good christian wife should be ("Wives obey your Husbands in ALL things" as it says in the Good Book.)

Oh sure, it's the good book when you're getting a shag out of it, but it's okay to turn a blind eye about blowing up soldiers?

quote:Originally posted by fatkitty420:

It "can" work... but there will be alot of weird fights (read my last thread, it's still on the front page).

Ironically, you may end up converting her to an Athiest, but if that lasts is anyone's guess.

I guess love conquers all (Unless Love is a sin, that is).



haha well, I'm female, so it'd have to be a male religious fanatic, and that, ehh.

quote:Originally posted by Zonko:

Oh sure, it's the good book when you're getting a shag out of it, but it's okay to turn a blind eye about blowing up soldiers?



uhmmm you missed all the 'righteous wars' and all the 'smoting under the fifth rib' in the OT? :P

Infact one of god's many titles is 'Lord of the Armies'

And even JC himself said we should always carry a sword...even more important than food, he said.

Wouldn't that be sort of anticlimatic?

If jesus died of starvation?

From a religious viewpoint, GOD wants you to be happy so he understands. From an extremist asshole with no humor, you need to get your heathen ass to temple!

My fiance is pentacostal and I'm an athiest. My view of god is much like einstein's, and doesn't exactly fit the christian thinking. So far things are great. However, I follow much of the teachings of christ, but I don't attend church. To me it doesn't matter if he was the saviour or not, cause the dude makes sense, and his teachings have brought peace to my life. Technically, I'm actually a more richeous christian than she is, which baffles her since I have no relationship with god, or Christ. Very odd. She thinks that I'm chosen or something.

When I first met my husband, we were both still just kids. I had decided that I was athiest, and he was a devout catholic raised by his mummy. One day he called me a stupid jew, I scoffed and said god doesn´t exist, and he slapped me. This should really have set the tone for everything else, but people change. Between the two of us, religion doesn´t affect us much, other people´s religious opinions cause alot more problems.

He very much believes in god, but is stuck between islam and catholosism. I accept most of the jewish practises. We rarely have religious discussions between us, because in the end, it´s the same god. He doesn´t eat pork, so food is not an issue. The main thing is to provide mutual respect. A relationship has nothing without proper respect for each other, even if you don´t believe in what they´re doing. i.e. If I´m having a fast day, he´ll eat out so as to not disturb me, I fast with him during Ramadan, etc.

The religious fanatics that force themselves upon you, generally won´t last too long with you because what was at first a salvation case becomes damnation You can be religious without forcing your views onto others...

Both the atheist and the religious person are well capable of being happy with eachother...all that is necessary is a respect for the struggle of life; something any atheist, theist, agnostic, philosopher, etc is going to go through: from the stand-point of spiritual truth, if you think your shit stinks any less than the atheists, you're wrong - humility and humbleness in all things!

We all come to different conclusions as to what life means, but we all go through the same struggle. We find in life, many times, causes worth dying for; we find excuses to continue into misery. Most often, we're willing to die and kill for political causes, the environment, ourselves, family, etc. At some point, we find a cause worth living for - something to put faith into, and live a better life for. Whether you call this 'purpose' a god, an idea, a construct, whatever...it works. We're ALL looking for a reason to be, an explanation as to why we're here; respecting that struggle within the individual makes inter-religious relationships work, despite the differences in dogma.

You might consider being open about your concerns or just avoiding the topic. I'm an atheist myself, but I would still probably get married inside of a church. I would probably just want the religious parts edited out.

quote:Originally posted by Hexadecimal:

Both the atheist and the religious person are well capable of being happy with eachother...all that is necessary is a respect for the struggle of life; something any atheist, theist, agnostic, philosopher, etc is going to go through: from the stand-point of spiritual truth, if you think your shit stinks any less than the atheists, you're wrong - humility and humbleness in all things!

We all come to different conclusions as to what life means, but we all go through the same struggle. We find in life, many times, causes worth dying for; we find excuses to continue into misery. Most often, we're willing to die and kill for political causes, the environment, ourselves, family, etc. At some point, we find a cause worth living for - something to put faith into, and live a better life for. Whether you call this 'purpose' a god, an idea, a construct, whatever...it works. We're ALL looking for a reason to be, an explanation as to why we're here; respecting that struggle within the individual makes inter-religious relationships work, despite the differences in dogma.

Very well said.

I used to get made fun of in school for being athiest.

The best was "You're going to hell" Kinda bounces off someone whom doesn't believe in it xD

As for the purpose of life. I don't view mine as "spreading the word of god" My purpose is to help people.

And if it isn't, I'll probably die in some horrible accident before aquire the goal.

But you're right, the relationships I've had with very religious people, we just don't really talk about it.

I make it known that I don't appreciate being asked to go to church, as I wouldn't ask them to go to an "Athiest meeting" were they to exist.

And same as another poster, I also have very "religious" morals, even though I don't believe at all, they're still good ideas. I don't do drugs, cheat on people, among w/e other bad things.

quote:Originally posted by Jackketchs Muse:

I dated a few athiest's when I was younger. I'm not overly religious, but I didn't care for the 'air' of superiority they had when it came to those who were religious any more than I cared for that same mind set amongst those who were 'uber' religious.

I think that, as others have suggested, it's a matter of respecting persons. If two people can do that and be of differing opinions on certain things then they will probably be able to make a go of it. Otherwise...I don't really think it would be wise to attempt it.



well said, one can only hope each values other aspects more than religious prefrence.

quote:Originally posted by Hexadecimal:

Both the atheist

So glad someone actually spelt it right. Then Perspicacious spelt it correctly as well.

Anyway, I'm an atheist, to the full extent. And my ex of almost 2 years was jewish. Fun times there. She'd lived her entire life at jewish schools, never really meeting anyone not jewish etc. I know I ended up causing her to doubt her beliefs, but she'll no doubt marry a good jewish boy, and I'll end up with someone who can see the pointlessness in life.

I prefer someone who can argue for their beliefs. Too many people that I've met say they believe in something, but then can't even begin to justify it. Their only reason for believing it is because some book of crappy paper told them to, or some person, usually a man, told them that this is how it is. They don't even bother to question it.

I'm agnostic and the other is christian.

Christian is okay. But hardcore christian is a little different. The ones that keep jesus as their best friend...you might want to stay away from. First of all, it's annoying when they give jesus credit for everything, but thats overlookable if everything else jives.

But the hardcore christians have a responsibility to save the souls of those around them. And even if she doesnt come out and say it, she'll think less of you for no believing. All the ones I've talked to think i'm completely stupid for refusing to believe in the one true god.