I don't feel right, I don't feel like I'm alive unless I'm in love with someone or pursuing a relationship with someone... Like even if it's unrequited, that still does it for me. If I have the option, I'll go straight from relationship to relationship (though I wouldn't call it rebounding, it's more just accepting that the relationship has stagnated and realizing that there's another girl who wants that i could be with). But at the same time, I feel like this is perhaps an unhealthy center of gravity for my life. For instance, right now I'm probably too close to the borderline of obsession after this girl i met yesterday (though spent a considerable amount of time with)... Like a sort of click thing where it just feels like she's the one I want/need/whatever. She occupies far too much of my mind right now.

Anyways, I have digressed. Is there anyone out there with this issue?

Shameless plug (http://www.totse.com/bbs/Forum4/HTML/023430.html).

Yeah man, lots of people, I used to be that way too.

We're all addicted to love. Might as well face it.

Dopamine.

It's the reward neurotranmsmitter in your brain which is activated by Cocaine, Runner's High, Chocolate, and, yes, love. It's activated by anything that gets a rise out of us, it is that rise out of us. So naturally we're going to get addicted to it, because it's fucking awesome. What you're describing, however, is a predictable pattern of seeking out these dopamine rushes, rather than any kind of healthy substantial mode of being.

You see, Dopamine is a beautiful thing, but it's really short-lived. Genetically speaking it makes perfect sense: we mate, we leave, we mate, we leave, and all sorts of productive progeny remain in our wake. With the uprise in our structured society, however, this becomes an emotionally damaging activity for all parties involved leaving an even more unequivocally fucked generation behind then our contemporary culture (which is damn scary to imagine.

The biological reason for this is the fluctiation of dopamine with prolactin (assuming that you are having sex with these women.) Because genetics has a little bit more in plan for us than sex, and if prolactin didn't shoot up to cut off our supply of dopamine all we would do is fuck There are actually studies on rats that have simulated this where a lever stimulated the release of dopamine, and only dopamine. The rats then, around the board, pleasured themselves to death. So it's not love you're addicted to, it's dopamine.

You cokehead.

I'm kidding, of course, but if it's lasting relationship that you want I'd advise not obsessing and getting to know people. Falling in love takes time, and the gradual release of oxytocin (the love hormone) isn't as go-go-go, nor sure-fire, as the realease of dopamine. You're going to have to make genuine human connections, and hope for the connection to be reciprocated. If it doesn't right away, don't worry about it. If it never does with this particular girl, don't worry about it either. It's not really something you can force, and infinitely seeking out this pleasure this satisfaction of addiction which never can ebb by feeding the addiction more and more is the kind of practice that makes the days too long and life too short.

Sounds like you may be more addicted to infatuation, than addicted to love.

Or a general fear of being alone.

Being single is good sometimes, you get to explore options, and get to know people better. Not to mention you can focus on yourself more aswell.

quote:Originally posted by genericwittyusername:

even if it's unrequited, that still does it for me.

Yep, that would be me in my youth.

Nothing wrong with being addicted to love. I'm not in love right now, and things are still pretty cool, but something is obviously missing.

with the unrequitedness, it's just like the semi-masochistic sting of solitude that i like.

But no, i don't just seek random shit, i seek long-term relationships.

I'm fucking addicted as hell to my girlfriend.

Your gonna have to face it, your addicted to love...

I find that love can be a very nice feeling....

I am not a young kid anymore, and have recently

feel in "love" with a man who makes me feel like I am 16 again. And thankfully the feeling is reciprocated.....We are separated by quite a few miles so we only get to see each other about every 2 weeks or so, which makes the time we get to spend together even sweeter. I hope you find someone that makes you feel as good. I am sure you are young, so try to take some time for yourself between these loves of yours, and it will make the next love even better. Good luck