My girlfriend is the type of person who has a billion friends around her at any given time. I know she loves me deeply, and that she would never cheat on me.

Now.

I don't have any friends. In fact, I LOVE being alone most of the time. A few nights out a months is plenty for me. So me, being like that, can't comprehend being around members of the opposite sex unless wanting to get laid, as it is with me. If I'm around a woman, I'm trying to bone her.

So keeping in mind that I DO trust her, and I don't care if she goes out, how do I stop this fucking jealousy? Without drinking a fifth of whiskey every day.

Any input..

Drink a fifth of vodka/scotch instead.

I'm in the same situation, exactly. I fall back on my trust in her, seeing no other sane or real option. If the problem is that strong, I know some here will recommend finding another girl, but if you can deal with it somehow (sans excessive alcohol) then do so. Or at least that's what I tell myself. :\

quote:Originally posted by Orange_Crusader:

Drink a fifth of vodka/scotch instead.

I'm in the same situation, exactly. I fall back on my trust in her, seeing no other sane or real option. If the problem is that strong, I know some here will recommend finding another girl, but if you can deal with it somehow (sans excessive alcohol) then do so. Or at least that's what I tell myself. :\



Glad I'm not alone dude.

It's ironic that when I drink I get depressed, feel even worse about myself, and my brain tries to convince me even MORE that she's fucking around.

And, I'm never touching Scotch ever again. Worst buzz ever.

Tastes damn good though.

[This message has been edited by Chronos139 (edited 09-18-2006).]

Yeah... I've felt like that a few times when I drank, not much fun when your mind runs off like that. I do manage to catch myself sooner or later before I do anything I'd regret, though.

I have the added plus of having her complain over trust issues/etc. if I remotely bring anything up about how I feel sometimes, so it's a no-touch topic.

I completely trust her, sober or not (seen her drunk, not greatest self control but fine, nothing stupid). I don't trust the random people that she's around at parties/whatever. I share the guys around = one purpose view you have, btw.

quote:Originally posted by Orange_Crusader:

Yeah... I've felt like that a few times when I drank, not much fun when your mind runs off like that. I do manage to catch myself sooner or later before I do anything I'd regret, though.

I have the added plus of having her complain over trust issues/etc. if I remotely bring anything up about how I feel sometimes, so it's a no-touch topic.

I completely trust her, sober or not (seen her drunk, not greatest self control but fine, nothing stupid). I don't trust the random people that she's around at parties/whatever. I share the guys around = one purpose view you have, btw.



So do I. My rational completely trusts her. And that's what makes this even weirder. There's very few women I'd trust having drink and meeting new people. I do trust this one, but my....odd side doesn't. I'm just hoping it's not a mental issue. I have enough of those. Personality disorders suck shit.

I don't have any mental disorders that I know of, but I've never been tested, and seem to fit a few down to a T. Meh.

There's always the doubt in that type of situation, I think. You just can't let the irrational (odd) side take over. Balance between rationality and a tiny amount of irrationality to keep your head level and prepared for anything, but don't obsess over the odd or irrationalside. My theory, at least :|

quote:Originally posted by Orange_Crusader:

Drink a fifth of vodka/scotch instead.

I'm in the same situation, exactly. I fall back on my trust in her, seeing no other sane or real option. If the problem is that strong, I know some here will recommend finding another girl, but if you can deal with it somehow (sans excessive alcohol) then do so. Or at least that's what I tell myself. :\



LOL

What was it?

www.yarr.org (http://www.yarr.org) ?

I'm sort of the same. my girl friend is very popular and knows everyone. i'm just average in social standards becuase of my own will. it's not hard to get stupid teenage kids to like you just most of them are fuck sticks who i don't bother putting myself around.

I trust my girlfriend with all my heart and soul. But i think all guys are like this and have a jelous streak. If you want to test it, get an attractive male friend of yours or whoever, and have them try to tempt your girlfriend, and if she denies this person, then you should feel alot better/different.

That is pretty over board, but either way, you're just stressing yourself out too much. there is most likely nothing to worry about.

Make more friends (of the opposing sex)

quote:Originally posted by Sailor-Boy:

Make more friends (of the opposing sex)

Sounds like the best advice to boot. Maybe i'm wrong, but it sounds like the root of your jealousy is the fact that she's too big a part of your life. Theres nothing wrong with being close to your significant other, but they shouldnt be 100% of your social circle. In those cases, its too easy to get jealous over their time, their attention, and even their affection.

The best thing you can do is go out and find friends that you can hang out with, both of the same and the opposite gender. It'll help a lot, trust me.

And also, a fifth of liqour a day is nothing :\

When I'm at work, I'll go through a whole bottle a day, and only be buzzed.

quote:Originally posted by SilentMind:

And also, a fifth of liqour a day is nothing :\

When I'm at work, I'll go through a whole bottle a day, and only be buzzed.

A fifth is plenty when your liver is so fucked up it eleminates alcohol slower.

A fifth is equal to what a 40 used to do to me.

quote:Originally posted by stiletto:

I'm sort of the same. my girl friend is very popular and knows everyone. i'm just average in social standards becuase of my own will. it's not hard to get stupid teenage kids to like you just most of them are fuck sticks who i don't bother putting myself around.

I trust my girlfriend with all my heart and soul. But i think all guys are like this and have a jelous streak. If you want to test it, get an attractive male friend of yours or whoever, and have them try to tempt your girlfriend, and if she denies this person, then you should feel alot better/different.

That is pretty over board, but either way, you're just stressing yourself out too much. there is most likely nothing to worry about.



She'd just end up fucking him.

Well, we obviously know that you cannot accomplish total trust because of your feelings towards her. It's normal for you to be that way. The only way you could attempt getting rid of it is by being more rational and analytical and set your emotions apart from your mind.

I know how you feel with friends and all. That's probably why she likes you so much, I'm like her and I tend to go for more laid back guys that don't generally like a social scene. You should spend some nights at home with her more often, go out and have fun.

You know she loves you and wouldn't do anything to hurt you. If you trust her to where she's got self-control when she's drunk then you should be able to convince yourself that it's silly letting your emotions control you and possess your mind to think such things.

As far as alcohol goes, bad idea. Don't do it. It makes things much more difficult. I've seen plently of cases first hand when people've been in situations as bad or much worse than your and they turned out to be alcoholics, no fun. Instead of drinking read philosophy on the mind and such. It's what I do.

Drinking just drowns you in your own sorrow, which isn't something most people particulary want to go through.

I'm sure you'll come around. Good luck, buddy.

quote:Originally posted by sylph:

Well, we obviously know that you cannot accomplish total trust because of your feelings towards her. It's normal for you to be that way. The only way you could attempt getting rid of it is by being more rational and analytical and set your emotions apart from your mind.

I know how you feel with friends and all. That's probably why she likes you so much, I'm like her and I tend to go for more laid back guys that don't generally like a social scene. You should spend some nights at home with her more often, go out and have fun.

You know she loves you and wouldn't do anything to hurt you. If you trust her to where she's got self-control when she's drunk then you should be able to convince yourself that it's silly letting your emotions control you and possess your mind to think such things.

As far as alcohol goes, bad idea. Don't do it. It makes things much more difficult. I've seen plently of cases first hand when people've been in situations as bad or much worse than your and they turned out to be alcoholics, no fun. Instead of drinking read philosophy on the mind and such. It's what I do.

Drinking just drowns you in your own sorrow, which isn't something most people particulary want to go through.

I'm sure you'll come around. Good luck, buddy.

Thanks for the advice, although I already have slipped into alcoholism. I can at least partially blame it on genetics though.

"The only way you could attempt getting rid of it is by being more rational and analytical and set your emotions apart from your mind."

Nah man...unity of mind body and spirit allows trust to flourish; dude needs to gain some perspective. You have faith she won't cheat on you? Then quit worrying about it. Unless your faith in her faith is conditional...which seems to be the case; belief isn't a rational concept, but it, just like i exists. Accept that she has her own life apart from you, and always will; hopefully, you have a life apart from her.

You familiar with the serenity prayer at all? It's wisdom at its epitome.

God, grant me the serentiy

To accept the things I cannot change

The courage to change the things I can

And the wisdom to know the difference

You can't change her life, but you can change whether or not you're a product of environment or an individual with your own will. You're letting her life make you feel like shit...that's not good man, that's seeking validation through another - you should know who you are and be happy with it!

quote:Originally posted by Chronos139:

Thanks for the advice, although I already have slipped into alcoholism. I can at least partially blame it on genetics though.

You can't blame it on anything but yourself. Please do everything you can to prevent yourself from becoming an alcoholic. It's such a bad thing.

As you well know, it pushes people away from you. It actually makes you distant from everything. You pitty yourself all of the time and feel shitty 24/7. I believe you need to talk to somebody or go to classes.

I'm not exactly sure what they make you do or how they help you to get over it but you should try. For yourself and everybody else you love.

quote:Originally posted by sylph:

You can't blame it on anything but yourself. Please do everything you can to prevent yourself from becoming an alcoholic. It's such a bad thing.

As you well know, it pushes people away from you. It actually makes you distant from everything. You pitty yourself all of the time and feel shitty 24/7. I believe you need to talk to somebody or go to classes.

I'm not exactly sure what they make you do or how they help you to get over it but you should try. For yourself and everybody else you love.

Alcohol keeps me sane.

Besides, if I DO seek help, I'll just be put on anti depressants and benzos.

All things considered, I'd rather drink.