I asked a girl out for the first time in my life (I'm 18, however sad that may be) on Monday of last week. I have no idea what to do, so I'll tell you what happened.

First of all, she sat in the front of the classroom (I'm attending a community college), and about 2 days later moved to the back corner and sat near me and my friend. The seating was with her on the right, my friend in the middle, and me on the left. So she started talking to my friend and me a bit. Then the next day my friend said "I think I'm gonna ask that girl out." So the next day he asked for her number, and then she asked us both if we hung out at each others' houses often. I told her yeah, we hang out pretty often, and told her that it'd be cool if she did too if she wanted to.

So later, when I got home, my friend called me and said "Man, I think she likes you instead of me." So I decided that I might try to ask her out, and so two days later, my friend and I switched seats so that I'd sit next to her. (I'm guessing she might have assumed something about us switching seats all of a sudden, but I don't know). So we talked during class a bit, and then after school, in the parking lot, she yelled out to me from across the parking lot "Hey, Myztek (but my real name instead, obviously)" And so I yelled "Hey" back and waved. Then she looked back at me as she was getting in her car with her friend.

So then the coming Monday I decided I'd ask her out during class. So I went through class normally, we talked a bit, and then at the end I asked her "So, do you think you'd like to hang out some time?" and she said "Yeah, but I can't do much on weekdays because of studying for school, but I'm free on weekends" then her friend came in the room and she introduced me to her friend and we walked out and I got her number as we were walking. Then she said "I'll talk to you later!" and I said "Alright" and we went our seperate ways.

Then later that day I text messaged her to make sure I had her number right and so that she'd have mine. Then I had to work that day, so I checked my schedule and found out I was off Friday and texted her again saying I was free Friday if she'd like to do something. Then she texted me back and said "I'm in McComb (her hometown). My nephew died" and so I said "Aw man... I'm sorry to hear that" and I didn't talk to her for the rest of the day.

Then the next day I said "When will you be coming back?" and she said "I should be back Saturday" and I said "Do you think you'd like to do something after you get back?" and she said "Maybe." I felt like this might be being incosiderate of her nephew's death, but hopefully not. Then I waited two days to text her again and said "How's it going?" that night and she never said anything, so the next day I said "Hey" then texted her again and said told her what she missed in class.

She hasn't said anything back to that either, that was today, and so now I'm just waiting til tomorrow because I'll see her at school (assuming she's back) and I have no idea what to do or think or anything.

Wow, I typed quite a lot.

Most likely that she is just not up for anything because her newphew died. I mean, if shes only 17 of 18, then her nephew has to be pretty young, and thats pretty sad. But I don't think that she would give you her number and say yes and all that just because she is trying to be nice.

Just she whats going on with her tommorow. Make sure to know whats the deal with her family, and act nominally interested with the death. Of course you can always drop the, "If you need anything/one you can always drop me a line..." line, making you out to be more caring then you probably are or whatever.

It could just be she's legitimately devestated by the death and she's gone away out of mobile phone range for the funeral (or left it at home).

Or it could be you came on too strong and that made her feel uneasy. Texting as soon as you get the number is always really tempting, but hold off on it for a few days at least.

It builds anticipation and makes her think you're got a lot going for you that you don't go after her straight away.

Of course, quite a lot of people seem to disagree that anything like that ever happens, ever.

In any case, play it cool and see what happens. I'd suggest not to slip into the 'friends ladder' at this point.

You've done your part to ask her out, the ball is in her court now.

I really don't want to screw this up. I felt like I was kinda "pushing myself" on her, but I guess I'm gonna find out tomorrow. I prefer talking in person rather than on the phone, anyway.

Well, she isn't upset about her nephew's death really; but today she didn't really seem all that talkative to me. I don't get it. Maybe I should act more interested?

I found her before class this morning and sat with her and her friend, but they spent more time talking to each other than acknowledging I was even there.

Then later, she didn't wave or say "Hey" or anything like usual when I saw her in the hall. But it could have been because I was with my friends. I really don't know.

Damn this is confusing and stressful..

Whoa. I can't believe I read all that. It could have been summed up in about 5 sentences. Anyway...

Ask her again to do somethig this weekend. And have something to do already planned out. Don't say "wanna do something this weekend?" Say "want to see a movie?" or whatever it is you people do in your area.

Sorry mate, I'm sure I have some better advice, but I'm too out of it at the moment to even think properly. Just keep up contact with her.

She says she's free on weekends, ok great, so just talk to her a little and then on saturday, at an appropriate time, and I say this aswell. What are you doing right now. 90% of the time it's like 'nothing' or 'just some...' then whatever, just say ok lets go on an adventure.

DO anything, it doesn't matter, hell go grocery shopping. If you've got the rapport going, then it's back to your house man.

If I were her, I dont think I'd be very interested in a a guy at this time. I'd still be hurt over my nephew. I think she just needs time. Why not send some flowers to let her know that you care about her loss. Just don't try to score a date for a while.

Like I said, she's not that upset about her nephew.

He was around 19 or so, and he shot himself in the stomach. She said he was "not that bright" and apparently didn't care for him too much. Anyway, I don't think that's really affecting it; however, I could be wrong. I'll update later if anything noteworthy happens.

Man... I'm so depressed now... I feel like.

Yesterday I called her, and she didn't answer. I didn't see her at school either.

Today she skipped class (we have the same class on Mon, Wed, Fri), but was still at school. So after class I saw her in the lobby, but being a dumb ass I didn't go up to her and ask why she skipped or anything. So after school I called her on the way home and she didn't pick up. So now I'm back home, sitting here... waiting for her to hopefully call me back.

I don't know what to do. Have I f'ed up? Dammit this upsets me.

EDIT: If this makes any difference, I texted her yesterday night after her not answering and asked her what our assignment in English was. She eventually texted me back about an hour later. I'm still going to give the benefit of the doubt and hope there's an explanation for all of this.



[This message has been edited by Myztek (edited 09-22-2006).]

I think you're probably comming on too strong. Try this method of limiting yourself - you can call her once every two days, but you can't call back until she calls you. likewise, you can text her once every two days, but you can't text her back until she replies.

Normally, i hate playing games like this, but i won't deny their effectiveness in many instances.

I think you lost her man, give up. Girls hate it when you keep bugging them. She is obviously avoiding you, take a hint.

Stop texting her and calling her!!!!! You're a goddamn psycho with all of this. How would you feel if some girl you DIDNT EVEN KNOW was constantly bugging you? Just let her have her space. If you act like that at the beginning of something, how can you expect it to go anywhere? The person will think you're crazy. Take this as a loss, forget her, and keep on trying to make friends, meet people, and go out with girls. At least you can learn from this mistake early on!

Dammit all. I can't believe I f'ed this up.

Thanks for the comments, though. I guess I'll just completely lay off texting/calling and just talk to her in class. Meh. This is a real downer.

Most people do it at some point. Just learn from it and don't do it again. That's the best advice I can give you.

quote:Originally posted by Jackketchs Muse:

So do I. When I was attracted to a guy I really sucked at that waiting game. I think I was too aggressive for the most part because I never hesitated to call when I wanted to.

See, i don't understand what the problem is here. i love it when my girlfriend is the aggressive one. Then again, the OP could always just do what i did. find (or get found by =P ) someone equally as clingy as you are. Then all you'll have to do is become one of those sickeningly cute couples that everyone hates because they're so damn clingy with eachother... which is loads of fun, i might add.