It´s like a godamn juggling act where things keep dropping.

Please give me your opinions, or what you would do...

Ramadan starts very soon... And my husband follows its rules. Which means out of respect, I follow them. The problems start rolling in from my family, who get offended that I pay less attention to my own religion than to his, and that 90% of my family died and the rest sat in various prisons for the right to say they´re Jewish and basically, I´m sleeping with the enemy. Which to them is everyone but a nice jewish russian boy.

I want to appease everybody, especially my husband, because religiously he makes no demands of me, except that I don´t tempt him or try to fuck up his fasting. But I definetly don´t want to offend my close family.

I don´t know who the hell in Israel brainwashed my brother, because although my family wasn´t pleased by my choice of husband, they all agree that he´s a good person, and we´re all open minded. He however is embaressed by me because I can speak arabic (albeit poorly), and communicate this way with the various arabs in our village, because damnit, I don´t speak Spanish and I want to make life a little easier for myself.

I am not a religious person. But I believe everyone has a right to believe in whatever they want. My huband is doing a whole soul searching thing, and ends up with both catholic holidays and muslim ones, and I respect that, just as he respects that on Yom Kippur I fast and can´t even switch on the lights, and if he does it for me, I´ll get offended, so it´s best that I spend it at home or he sleeps at a friends house.

He however is not pleased that my place of education requires me to wear skirts. Neither am I, but only because I´ll freaze to death. I don´t like wearing long skirts because I´m clumsy and end up falling, but I don´t have the power to argue with him either.

Infact, I´m very tired of all this crap. If all our gods are the same one god, why so many different sets of rules, and why am I always the traitor?



He will be here on the 27th... with his father... -Shudders-. Who now has a new beef with me!

I never became muslim. (Duh. I come from a family of drunk angry russian men. Where we come from, we do not tempt fate).

And that my children will automatically be listed as jewish, even if I do change my religion. And thus, they will be infidels.

And so I told my husband I´m not having kids till that man dies.

My belief is that if I respect your beliefs, why not extend that curtosy back to me? Or atleast my unborn offspring.

Godamn. Why wasn´t I born in the age of pagens.

that is a difficult situation. i really do not know what i would beyond demand the same respect i show, like you do.

just try to ignore his father.

oh, and if you two do have children, you need to decide the way you are going to teach them before they are born. it is too confusing to a child to be taught 3 different ways of respecting God.



this makes me glad i am agnostic.

tojey samey bog

I'm biased against russian jews (siberian family) though, best of luck.

1. Holy crap you're alive. Awesome.

2. I don't know if you're asking a question or just ranting, but all I have to say is as long as you and your husband are happy, then it doesn't matter what others say, not even your family. Fuck pleasing everyone.

God damn, jews are conceited...

quote:Originally posted by SilentMind:

God damn, jews are conceited...



Not really, 'jewishness' has always been passed down from the mother and not (as in other cultures) the father...rather a 'modern' notion really when you consider that when the bible was written it was assumed that the woman was simply the breeding chamber and all important characteristics of the baby came from the man's seed.

quote:Originally posted by jackketch:



Not really, 'jewishness' has always been passed down from the mother and not (as in other cultures) the father...rather a 'modern' notion really when you consider that when the bible was written it was assumed that the woman was simply the breeding chamber and all important characteristics of the baby came from the man's seed.

What do you mean assumed. Knew.

quote:Originally posted by Jewbacca:

tojey samey bog

I'm biased against russian jews (siberian family) though, best of luck.

Tojeh sameh bog, tojeh sameh ludi.

We´re not russian, so much as polish/romanian/tjaki and from every other shithole that was the USSR. Got some that ended up in Siberia. And further, hehe.

I have no damn idea how to raise kids. Like I said, I´m not at all religious, but I think at some points in yer life you end up grasping at straws and turn to whatever god you where raised to believe in and pray like hell for help. I keep my religion out of respect, and because my great grandmother like pronounced doom on me otherwise by stating jewishness is not a choice, it´s blood and it´s always gonna come back and bite you in the ass somehow. I have like 9 generations of polish chief rabbis in my family. I am the first person in like atleast 1000 years to go with a nonjew. So I´m already a disgrace to the family.

Trying to make everyone happy is never gonna work. I wish there was a school I could send kids to when I have them, that´ll teach the basis of all religions equally, and then I won´t be held responsible for this crap.

And I don´t think it´s being conceited More like being fucked over. I´m already a disgrace, so if my children would go by their father, they´d just be confused and I could shrug and say "not my problem". But like this, I´m going to be blamed and still be the black sheep.

And apparently an infidel! Godamn morrocan. -Grumbles- I speak more arabic than he does and I´m a damn infidel... Just cause his first wife wanted a divorce...

I don´t like religious extremists. I don´t do political or religious discussions. If all our gods are the same one god, why can people not get along?

His mother is also coming to visit, since now we´re closer to her.

So, 1 catholic. 1 muslim. 1 confused individual. And me. And the mother hates the father like the father hates me. I like the mother. I also think I´m gonna move out when they´re all here.

..hhhm.. sounds tough.. but youre right about the part where you say that its impossible to please everybody at the same time.

In your situation, I would go my own way, choose my own religion, and my way of life. Just because the vagina that I came out of, belonged to a woman who was Christian, that doesnt mean that I have to start praising Jesus, and all that jazz. Then again, im only 18 so its probably different for me.

[quote]Tojeh sameh bog, tojeh sameh ludi[\quote]

Odin bog, odni ludi, no slishkom mnogo durakov.

god is taking care of it...

Adno bog, adni ludi, adno khunyah.

My husband is only 20. He´s been thrown into playing the adult much too early, because he wants to look after me, although I´m alot more capable of looking after him than vice versa. (Until last month, he didn´t know what to do at the post office, or that such a thing as EMS mail existed.). He´s doing the whole self discovery phase now, since puberty was a giant mess.

quote:Originally posted by Bazzle:

god is taking care of it...

Ha!

If God exists, then I truly doubt he's going to waste any of his time on some poor girl that's in a bad spot because of love.

That's why God invent poisons.

Seriously, though, I don't believe in God because he doesn't believe in me. And I don't believe in marrying into an insane family while my family is still very much insane because...

Well, I'm not THAT masochistic.

Best of luck, Paranoid_Pothead, and I've got a couch you can crash on if you're ever in the area.

quote:Originally posted by Gus:

Ha!

If God exists, then I truly doubt he's going to waste any of his time on some poor girl that's in a bad spot because of love.

That's why God invent poisons.

Seriously, though, I don't believe in God because he doesn't believe in me. And I don't believe in marrying into an insane family while my family is still very much insane because...

Well, I'm not THAT masochistic.

Best of luck, Paranoid_Pothead, and I've got a couch you can crash on if you're ever in the area.

To be honest, I had always planned to marry some rich old guy who´d die soon enough. This was the plan since I was 9. There is a god, and he´s up there laughing at my foiled plans.

And at my husbands´. To quote him: "Your family are nuts, I won´t ever be able to be with you because they´ll suck me into their insane world". Fastforward several months: "Godamn, I´m related to those nutcases".

His mother is sane. Mostly. She has an obsession with trying to make both of us fat, but I can live with that.

How far away is yer couch?

-A glutton for punishment-

Anyway, I´m going to sleep, because it´s 1.17 am, and I´m up at 5 am to wash stairways for 50 euros to have bus money to get to school and back, since its 3 hours away.

To which my husband responded that I´m more nuts than the rest of them combined and that he´s sick and no one wants to make him chicken soup.

I´m 10,000 kms away and he´s bitching about chicken soup...

You two will work out fine together. It will probably be hell dealing with your families, but you two clearly love each other and you will deal with them together. And thus I envy you, I have no one.

*racial slur*

...

im just kidding

quote:Originally posted by Demoiselle:



2. I don't know if you're asking a question or just ranting, but all I have to say is as long as you and your husband are happy, then it doesn't matter what others say, not even your family. Fuck pleasing everyone.

I'd agree, but in her situation the "others" come and beat the shit out of you...

In this situation there is no "right" or "easy" answer. Each solution comes with an evil. It's things like this that leave me to question religion and keep me from being religious myself. Religion claims to be good and accepting, yet even the most accepting have their own dark side of bigotry and discrimination. Yet if we were to renounce religion once and for all, we would find another way to hate our neighbor. What IS wrong with humanity?

Oh well, I give free hugs.

This is going to be a difficult request I make here: Try to accept that both your family and his are fucking insane. Try to accept that humans, in general, are fucking insane. Humans will almost always seek to find wrongs in the world to take their eyes off of themselves.

If you have trouble accepting this on your own, ask your Creator to give you a soft and understanding heart so you may accept the condition of your family and no longer worry about it...all power is given by the Creator, even for something as small as accepting a circumstance you can't change. Your faith may have faded, but It has lost no faith in you - It will always be there to build up your spirit so you may do right for the world and for yourself.

quote:What IS wrong with humanity?

Quite simple: Pride. When you, one perspective in a world of infinite proportions, maintain belief in your power to do things alone, you will fail. The pain that results from pride is the epitome of truth behind God's claim that his name is Jealous.

When we fail, we will seek to blame others for our own failures. When we blame others, we hold resentments against them in order to prevent ourselves from seeing the truth that WE, the individual, is at fault for our own condition. This is why no matter what we have or don't have, we will find a way to hate our neighbors; any imperfection in ourselves, we will seek to blame others for it.

Only when our little hand-crafted existence finally collapses will we see ourselves as the one at fault; from here, we may try to change and find that we are truly powerless to even change our life on our own...this collapse is the root of faith. Religion can build beliefs that will ultimately fail...but true humility will create the foundation of faith which enables humans to escape from the insanity we have entered into.

Religions claims many things...and it delivers none of its promises because religion is a creation of humanity. The Creator is good and accepting; faith is good and accepting - just like pride, it discriminates against nobody. The Creator doesn't wish us to be sad, mad, or hurt - he doesn't want wars fought in its name, nor people ostracized for not believing. He wants nothing more than for us to be humble; recognize him as the source of all power, and all other creation from the heavens down to the individual particles as our equals: as partners in existence.

...MGCBTSOOYG material? Maybe...eh, oh well...something told me to answer this, so I did.

There is no God. Tell your family to quit their bitching and be happy for you.

Religious people are just as insane as rabid Trekkies, only difference is at the end of the day the Trekkies know their stories are fiction.

Hexadecimal does make quite abit of sense...

It makes sense how societies based on collective hatred were so efficient and successfull. ie Nazi Germany, Democratic Nations throughout the Cold War.

They pulled together and cooperated through a common hatred, perhaps hitler had the right idea in his own twisted way...

This shit is scary, I hate the human race! Oh shit...

quote:Originally posted by Paranoid_Pothead:



I´m 10,000 kms away and he´s bitching about chicken soup...



Ahh yes 'Jewish Penicillin' (Guidren yoih ?)..nice to see some of your culture has rubbed off on him.

And of course he's bitching about it, i would too. It's a male thing. Instead of going all weepy and 'alack a day, the light of my life is sooooo far from me, be still my aching heart' he bitches about something seemingly unimportant inorder to express how much he's missing you.

Just move away, with your husband. Actually, go get him first, then move away. Pick a kick arse country that doesn't care about your religion, like Australia. All we care about is sport, beer, having a good time and not getting blown up. That's why we're over here, enjoying life. Plus our minimum wages aren't half bad.

But... wait, what was I talking about? Oh yeah, move to Australia. It's a kickarse place. We even have kangaroos.

I´ve lived in Australia... in Sydney... my family is not allowed to return there anymore.

I don´t see why other religions would preach peace and benevolence, yet provoke so much hatred. Jewish law states, eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth. We don´t have the whole hippy love thy neighboor and all bugs that walk the earth shit. Yet I don´t go around bitching at people for their choices. And those who don´t care for religion, care about race, so it´s still a fucking disgrace in their eyes for us to be together and our kids will be halfcast abominations.

People will always find something to hate.

I truelly hope that here I will get less grief, and him too, than in Israel, because that is really the worst choice of country for this shit. I accept my family for who they are, I know they went through communist russia being jews and not hiding it, as was common. That my grandparents died in WW2. That on the other side, my great grandparents sat in Stalin´s prisons for trying to escape poland in WW2. (My great grandfather was actually a communist opera singer. Soon as he sat in prison for being jewish AND a communist, since that was damn suspicious to stalin, I´m pretty sure he regretted running in that direction). Only out of respect did I learn in a jewish school, and keep some of the jewish traditions. I don´t force this onto anyone, so I don´t see what peoples problem is with me.

Of course, my husband has the same problem. Catholics and christians who are mortified that he should choose to wonder onto the dark side and wonder how they can save his soul from eternal damnation that would be converting to islam. Although I support his decision either way. Faith is just a security blanket, which I guess everyone is entitled to have. It can´t be evil, only people can make it evil. Evil people like those who try to persuad me to change his mind, because it´s "wrong".

And jack, chicken soup for the soul! But ít can´t have come from me, since I don´t like chicken soup that much. I eat lentil soup and borsch. Alot of borsch. Chicken soup is only good when sick. So, yeah. Poor him... I told him to go cough in his fathers food. (Well, it´d make me feel better). A week already I´m telling him to buy some honey and drink tea with honey! Today I was like, why the hell didn´t you buy it yet, and his response? But... where do I buy honey?

I don´t think he´s been in a supermarket since he was like 6... :s

I´m damn tired... like 13 hours on my feet. Going to sleep.