Sometimes I have a hard time distinguishing what's inapropriate to tell my boyfriend and what's not so I more or less tell him everything. For instance, I went out last night with a girl friend of mine and we went to a show on the list and was hanging out with the band all night being flirty and I told him. I mean, it's not like just because I have a boyfriend I have to live like a nun and it's not like I did anything wrong, so why should I feel wierd about telling him that I had an awesome time even if it was with these guys?

I'm not used to being in a purely monogamous relationship. The last purely monogamous relationship I was in was over 6 years ago, so I don't really know what I'm supposed to knock off and what's okay still, and I don't know how to talk to him about it.

And there's this guy who I used to date. He lives 4,000 miles away from me and we met when I had just seperated from my exhusband. We fell in and out of love, but we consider each other soulmates and we love each other still. Not romantically, but we do love each other.

He has a lot of money, this guy. In fact he broke his first million last year and every once in a while he flies me out to whatever location he's staying at just to hang out. The last two times I've visited him he didn't even try to fuck me. We've become more or less perfectly plutonic.

However, he was recently engaged to this one gold digger who cheated on him and they just broke up and he suddenly called me. Now he wants to fly me out to London where he's interviewing a bunch of bands for some event out there and I want to go, and I want to tell my boyfriend, but I don't know how.

First of all: Would it be completely out of line for me to go and accept the round trip ticket? What if I got my own hotel room?

Second of all: How do I talk to him about the fact that I don't really know what to do and what not to do?

Cheers,

Lost

You are a troll, right?

quote:Originally posted by rabbitweed:

You are a troll, right?

yeah, you silly trolling mods!!!



anyway, you can go. he is your friend and jst because you have a boyfriend doesn't mean you have to stop seeing your male friends.

and tell him you're not sure how to act. honesty would be key in this situation.

But, you only like this guy because of his MILLION, right? I am guessing.

We're only human, we get pissed off at things we shouldn't.

White lies don't hurt anyone.

Too long, didn't read.

quote:Originally posted by LostCause:

Now he wants to fly me out to London where he's interviewing a bunch of bands for some event out there and I want to go,

BOUNDARY!!!!

If you want to go, then fuck it, fly over. Just tell him that it's what you want to do, and you'll call him/email/stay in contact with him if he's got a problem with it.



For the other part.. well, fuck. I'd just sit down and lay it out straight with him exactly what you're thinking and ask him what his thoughts on it are..

When I was 13 and I got my first real boyfriend my best girl friend had already had a real boyfriend for a few months and one day we were walking along and some guy hit on me. I smiled back and she punched me in the shoulder and told me that I wasn't allowed to smile back anymore.

Is this true? If you have a boyfriend are you supposed to nix any sort of male friendliness right off the bat?

Cheers,

Lost

quote:Originally posted by LostCause:

When I was 13 and I got my first real boyfriend my best girl friend had already had a real boyfriend for a few months and one day we were walking along and some guy hit on me. I smiled back and she punched me in the shoulder and told me that I wasn't allowed to smile back anymore.

Is this true? If you have a boyfriend are you supposed to nix any sort of male friendliness right off the bat?

Cheers,

Lost

No. Smiling is allowed. Subtle flirting, also allowed. It's when there's those lingering looks, the lingering touches and the one too many sexual references that it crosses the line.

quote:Originally posted by LostCause:

Is this true? If you have a boyfriend are you supposed to nix any sort of male friendliness right off the bat?

This is something you DISCUSS with your BOYFRIEND not an INTERNET FORUM, LostCause.

Ask him at what point is it WRONG?

It's how NORMAL (ok not normal, but the people that have healthy relationships) people work it out, hun.

the urge for variety in your life is understandable, but but yourself in your boyfriend's eyes. Hell either:

-agree with you and may flirt with other girls.

or

-find it difficult to understand why you are doing what you are doing. Tell him that this is what you want.

what your boyfriend doesn't know, doesn't hurt.

The greatest source of pleasure is variety.

That being said, is it a huge problem for your boyfriend to come with? Would that make things awkward for you/him/the ex? Probably would, right? It'd be awesome if things, as they logically should, could work in such a way but us human creatures are rational and emotional beings, but rarely simultaneously.

Something to take into consideration is that a)he probably wants to spark things up again since it sounds like you're from his past (i.e. before he had shit-gobs of money) and the life he's leading has recently fucked him up pretty bad *being cheated on is rather felatious* and b) you might take into consideration the possibility that you want to spark things up again with him as he's from your past (i.e. embracing life in all it's voluptuous vicissitudes) and your relationship at the moment involves a discomfort with this past, hence who you are, from your lover.

If you go, further pushing the envelope of your current relationship and his problems with your intoxicated lust for life, you will complicate your relationship greatly.....you might even want to ask yourself whether or not the reason you want to go so badly is to give a nice middle finger to anybody trying to project their values onto your individuality.

quote:Originally posted by Gus:

This is something you DISCUSS with your BOYFRIEND not an INTERNET FORUM, LostCause.

Ask him at what point is it WRONG?

It's how NORMAL (ok not normal, but the people that have healthy relationships) people work it out, hun.

Gus you have a crush on Lost Cause. But don't worry, who wouldn't?

Lost, accepting the ticket all depends on how your boyfriend feels. Tell him what you told us, and see if he understands. Most likely he won't, so it's really in your hands whether you go.

But if you want to make your relationship work, then you should probably talk to your man and find out what he finds acceptable and try to compromise between your standards and his.

quote:Originally posted by Black Flag:

Gus you have a crush on Lost Cause. But don't worry, who wouldn't?

Bahahahaha hahahahaha hahahahaha hahahahaha hahahahaha hahahahaha hahahahaha hahahahaha hahahahahahahahahaha hahahahaha hahahahaha hahahahaha hahahahaha hahahahaha hahahahaha hahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!

You're sick, man. Disgustingly sick.

Pardon me as I go wash myself... Ugh!

I suggest you marry the millionaire.

If the millionaire is so rich why cant he invite you and your boyfriend to go to london with him?



This reeks of "I'm going to seduce you with expensive hotels" to me.

Just sit him down and tell him about the problem... If he really cares about you then he won't mind you talking to him and will probably be glad you did. About going to London... you'll have to add that in too...