One time I was at the community college, and I started talking to this cute Japanese chick who was studying microbiology. I damn near introduced myself by saying "Hmm, biology. Good stuff. That and chemistry." Then I realized what that sounded like, and kept walking.

Later that day, I ended up talking to her. She introduced herself, her name was Pi. I was so tempted to say "Hi. I'm Jason Biggs."

Best one I've actualy said:

I'm so so so so so sorry. I didn't mean to look down your shirt when you bent over. It just happened. Not that I'm not impressed...

Me: Excuse me, but could you tell me how much a polar bear weighs?

Her: ......

Me: Enough to break the ice, can I get you a drink?

If she doesnt find that funny, she's not the kind of person I want to know.

Worst: 'Hi, you're beautiful, I'm ugly, lets have average babies!'

[This message has been edited by UnforgiVen3 (edited 09-16-2006).]

And yes I have used these before, its just how you say them....

Go up to a girl and just be like, the average penis is this big *hold hands about 5 or so inches apart* but mine is this big *put your closest arm to her around her shoulder or waist or whatever*....continue from there.

I dunno about worst, I usually can play out any "bad" one to make it work somehow.

[This message has been edited by Ali G in da house (edited 09-16-2006).]

quote:Originally posted by UnforgiVen3:

Me: Excuse me, but could you tell me how much a polar bear weighs?

Her: ......

Me: Enough to break the ice, can I get you a drink?

I should try that with the chick at the hardware store. Why? Because there's a hugeass full body mounted polar bear in a case in the vestabule.

Besides, that made me laugh.

quote:Originally posted by Ali G in da house:

And yes I have used these before, its just how you say them....

Go up to a girl and just be like, the average penis is this big *hold hands about 5 or so inches apart* but mine is this big *put your closest arm to her around her shoulder or waist or whatever*....continue from there.

I dunno about worst, I usually can play out any "bad" one to make it work somehow.



That sounds like how to get slapped or worse, by any girl with self esteem.

you remind me of my daughter.



Are your parents retarded? Because you're really special.

With my wing..

"Hey, we're picking up"

My favourite:

"If I asked to buy you a drink, would your answer be the same as the answer to this question?"

I didn't come up with it but I wish I had.

Girl: Can my friend have your number?

Me: If you mean the girl on the right, then I'm totally gay. But if you meant the left, yeah, sure.

Girl: wait, I'll go ask my friend.

Me: *thinking what the fucking fuck*

Girl: *comes back* Yeah, can she have your number?

Haha, that was like year 10. What simpler days those were.

"Fuck you".

quote:Originally posted by rent-a-revolution:

My favourite:

"If I asked to buy you a drink, would your answer be the same as the answer to this question?"

I didn't come up with it but I wish I had.

Good one and if a girl takes more then 5 seconds to get it then she obviously isin't someone I want to be with.

"Are you a stingray? Because you just pierced my heart."

(Yay for bad taste!)

"How do you like your eggs, over easy or fertilized with my semen?"

Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

The worst one I've ever used in real life was at a speed-dating thing. As soon as the girl sat down, I said "They say life is a test: if so, I'd like you to set the questions."

It worked quite well, actually.

Me: Hey, wanna come over tomorrow for some pizza and fuck?

Her: ....

Me: What? You don't like pizza?

Two of the lamest pick up lines I have ever been on the receiving end on were as follows:

1.) I'm at my desk and then a guy pus a candy cane on my binder. "Here's a sweet cherry flavored candy cane..just like your sweet cherry colored lips." I couldn't believe it, I put my pen don and looked at him like the moron he was.

2.) Unbelievably, this came from the very same guy as before. He was very persistant and eventually went to stalking. It was the old classic "Did it hurt? ...When you fell from heaven."

my roomate has a pen that everytime you click it one of 6 of the BEST pickup lines ever appears in a little clear window.

for example: There is a party in your mouth and i'm coming

what big lips you have, they would definately fit around my balls

and, my personal favorite.

can i stir your drink? mind if i use my dick?

quote:Originally posted by neato bandito:

"Are you a stingray? Because you just pierced my heart."

(Yay for bad taste!)

Oh yes!

*claps*

quote:Originally posted by RogueWarheart:

That sounds like how to get slapped or worse, by any girl with self esteem.

Well, it all depends on where/how it is said. For instance when I used it, I was fucked up like no other on DXM and was at some fair thing called "BG(Buffalo Grove) Days" where tons of people go to. And so she didnt really care and thought it was funny....luckily she didnt have a boyfriend.

You wanna go get a drink ?

ali g shit buffalo grove I live in highland park damn small world

quote:Originally posted by InsaneDrummer:

Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

Hahahahaha. I like that one.

Believe it or not I once had a..

"So which Spice Girl are you?"

Would you care for some tea with your rape?

"Hey you" *pulls out dick and points it at her face*

"Suck it"

quote:Originally posted by The Misfit:

my roomate has a pen that everytime you click it one of 6 of the BEST pickup lines ever appears in a little clear window.

for example: There is a party in your mouth and i'm coming

what big lips you have, they would definately fit around my balls

and, my personal favorite.

can i stir your drink? mind if i use my dick?

Those are hilarious

Worst two i have heard:

1) guy pulls me to sit down on his lap and goes "you think this is just my leg" touching lower down on his thigh

2) Guy: do you sleep on your stomach

Me: no??

Guy: can i?

(yes i know that one is old but im pretty sure he was just joking around)

quote:Originally posted by InsaneDrummer:

Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

Beat me to it

quote:Originally posted by InsaneDrummer:

Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?



Damn, I was going to suggest that one.

quote:Originally posted by The Misfit:



what big lips you have, they would definately fit around my balls

and, my personal favorite.

can i stir your drink? mind if i use my dick?

those are amazing, i must use them

*brick to skull*

I win.

[This message has been edited by Garfunkel (edited 09-18-2006).]

is that a mirror in your pocket? cause i can see myself in your pants.

This is just one verse from a hilarious song thats mostly pickup lines Upclose and Personal by PackFM and Substantial

I don't give a fuck about your sign, I'm not an astrologist.

Your body's off the meter, I'm the leader, you need to follow this.

You're divine, stay on my mind, like a neurologist.

Playin' doctor's for little kids, let's play gynocologist.

You need some TLC, and I'm tryin' to creep with you.

I lost my teddy bear, so baby doll can I sleep with you?

Fuck me if I'm wrong, but isn't your name Heather?

I could have sworn that you and I went to different schools together.

If my name sounds familiar, you should fuck what you heard.

The word of the day is "legs", let's go back and spread the word.

My name's PackFM, you can call me tomorrow.

I lost my phone number, do you have one I can borrow?

And do you spit or swallow? What, you don't like my tactics?

Let's get married and have kids, in fact, we can practice.

It's a shame that I have to mess your hair and smudge your make-up.

But if you are what you eat, I hope I'm you when I wake up.

Raise your stakes up, follow your heart, take a chance.

Is that a mirror in your pocket? 'Cause I can see myself in your pants.

Can we do this romance? If you don't know what FM stands for,

That means you feelin' me with no hands.

1. whip out your dick.

2. look at her, then look back at your dick. repeat a couple times.

3. sigh, look her straight it the eyes, and say "Well, it's not gonna suck itself..."

pull out 20$

I'll bet you 20$ I can kiss you without ever touching your lips.

*wait for her to accept an easy 20$*

kiss her, and give her the 20$ saying it was well worth it.

I jacked it from derailed but it worked for me.

my worst one had to be

so you like techno too?

well in that case, lets go make some serious beats in my bedroom.

I actually got her phone number too :P

Dumb one:

Im not a cannibal, but your changing my mind

Good one:

me/Will you marry me?

her/(not seriously)ohhaha ok

me/ hey girl lets take things slow! how about dinner first?

i remember when my sister had her college orientation and i was like 10 so i had to go. we were all sitting there in the auditorium and my father started telling me pick up lines. it was creepy.

the one that stands out:

"if i told you you had a great body would you hold it against me?"

either way, can't lose.

idk, the only guy i have ever been involved with i met at school or work and was friends with first. so i am useless.

"So, do you, like, dye your hair or something?"

Cheers,

Lost

Did you fall from heaven? Because I have an erection.

I perosnally am not a fan of pickup lines at all :O. Yup. Too tacky.

But there are a couple that suit me:

"Excuse me, Would you mind if I tryed a pick-up line on you?"

"Hey. *Look her up* Want to go fuck?

I don't care either way at the moment, but someday in the future one of us might."

"Hey want to come for a trudge?"

Key is to be as mundane as possible.

quote:Originally posted by Rattrap51:

This is just one verse from a hilarious song thats mostly pickup lines Upclose and Personal by PackFM and Substantial

I don't give a fuck about your sign, I'm not an astrologist.

Your body's off the meter, I'm the leader, you need to follow this.

You're divine, stay on my mind, like a neurologist.

Playin' doctor's for little kids, let's play gynocologist.

You need some TLC, and I'm tryin' to creep with you.

I lost my teddy bear, so baby doll can I sleep with you?

Fuck me if I'm wrong, but isn't your name Heather?

I could have sworn that you and I went to different schools together.

If my name sounds familiar, you should fuck what you heard.

The word of the day is "legs", let's go back and spread the word.

My name's PackFM, you can call me tomorrow.

I lost my phone number, do you have one I can borrow?

And do you spit or swallow? What, you don't like my tactics?

Let's get married and have kids, in fact, we can practice.

It's a shame that I have to mess your hair and smudge your make-up.

But if you are what you eat, I hope I'm you when I wake up.

Raise your stakes up, follow your heart, take a chance.

Is that a mirror in your pocket? 'Cause I can see myself in your pants.

Can we do this romance? If you don't know what FM stands for,

That means you feelin' me with no hands.



AAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!! RAP MUSIC! IT BURNS! *Hiss*

Me: Can I borrow a quarter?

Girl: Yeah sure, what's wrong?

Me: My Mom told me to give her a call the first time I fell in Love.

HELP!!1 THE CIA IS AFTER MY PENIS AND I NEED A PLACE TO HIDE IT

pick up lines that are funny are a great way to start a line of conversation,,,but the creepy or just downright perverted ones tend to creep the girl out

Nice shoes....wanna fuck?

quote:Originally posted by tatued30:

pick up lines that are funny are a great way to start a line of conversation,,,but the creepy or just downright perverted ones tend to creep the girl out

O RIELLY?

quote:Originally posted by Beserk_Penguin:

O RIELLY?



you fail.

Your face is real symmetrical

And your nostrils are so nice

I wish that I was cross-eyed, girl

So I could see you twice

Girl, you smell like Fritos

That's why I'm giving you this hungry stare

You're so hot, you're gonna melt

The elastic in my underwear

I'll bet you're magically delicious

Like a bowl of Lucky Charms

You'd look like Venus de Milo

If I just cut off your arms

What I'm tryin' to say is ...

I wanna be your lover, baby

I need somebody to love

You know I just wanna be your lover, baby

Now, I need somebody to love

Ooh hoo hoo, ooh hoo hoo

Ooh hoo hoo, hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo

Ooh hoo hoo, ooh hoo hoo

Ooh hoo hoo, hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo

Do you believe in love at first sight

Or should I walk by again?

My love for you's like diarrhea

I just can't hold it in

Stop, drop and roll now

'Cause baby, you're on fire

I'll bet your outfit

Makes a lot of noise in the drier

You're absolutely perfect

Don't speak now, you might spoil it

Your eyes are even bluer

Than the water in my toilet

Say, has anyone ever told you

You've got Yugoslavian hands?

No, of course not, that would be stupid

Just forget I ever brought it up

The point I'm trying to make is ...

I wanna be your lover, baby

I need somebody to love

You know I just wanna be your lover, baby

Now, I need somebody to love

Ooh hoo hoo, ooh hoo hoo

Ooh hoo hoo, hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo

Ooh hoo hoo, ooh hoo hoo

Ooh hoo hoo, hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo

I wanna be your Krakatoa

Let my lava flow all over you

I wanna be your anaconda

And your heat-seeking missile too

I wanna be your beef burrito

Am I making this perfectly clear?

I wanna be your love torpedo

Are you picking up the subtle innuendo here?

Uh huh

I hope I'm not being forward

But do you mind if I chew on your butt?

You can tell me truthfully

Am I a steamin' hunk of love now, or what?

There just aren't enough o's in "smooth"

To desribe how smooth I am

Maybe you've seen my picture

It's in the dictionary under "Kablaam!"

My lips are registered weapons

Can I invade your personal space?

You must have fallen from heaven

That would explain how you messed up your face

Well, how'd you get through security?

'Cause, baby, you're the bomb

I'd like to take you home right now

So you can meet my mom

Because I ...

I wanna be your lover, baby

I need somebody to love

You know I just wanna be your lover, baby

Now, I need somebody to love

Girl, you must be Jamaican

Because Jamaican me crazy

Girl, you must be Jamaican (Ooh hoo hoo, ooh hoo hoo)

Because Jamaican me crazy (Ooh hoo hoo, hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo)

I wanna be your lover, baby (Girl, you must be Jamaican) (Ooh hoo hoo, ooh hoo hoo)

I need somebody to love (Because Jamaican me crazy) (Ooh hoo hoo, hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo)

You know I just wanna be your lover, baby (Girl, you must be Jamaican) (Ooh hoo hoo, ooh hoo hoo)

Now, I need somebody to love (Because Jamaican me crazy) (Ooh hoo hoo, hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo)

I wanna be your lover, baby (Girl, you must be Jamaican) (Ooh hoo hoo, ooh hoo hoo)

I need somebody to love (Because Jamaican me crazy) (Ooh hoo hoo, hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo)

You know I just wanna be your lover, baby (Girl, you must be Jamaican) (Ooh hoo hoo, ooh hoo hoo)

Now, I need somebody to love (Because Jamaican me crazy) (Ooh hoo hoo, hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo)

Hello, my name is ________.

or the ever popular

Do you mind if i sit here? (then proceed to above, if needed)

quote:Originally posted by InsaneDrummer:

Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

lmfao, made my day

I've never used a pick up line on anyone...Hmmm...

And you...! Show me dem boobies!

[This message has been edited by Lord Buddha (edited 09-19-2006).]

My sister got

Guy "Wow! You look just like my sister!"

My sister: "Ok...um thanks?"

Guy: "Yeah, shes really pretty...so whats your name? "

quote:Originally posted by ShootingStar:

My sister got

Guy "Wow! You look just like my sister!"

My sister: "Ok...um thanks?"

Guy: "Yeah, shes really pretty...so whats your name? "



Exposo?

quote:Originally posted by Jackel003:

Nice shoes....wanna fuck?



damnit...you beat me to it.

quote:Originally posted by AquaX:

Exposo?

Ha..nope

Guy: Hey

Girl: Hey..

Guy: there's a party in my pants, and you're invited

*modified from FHM*

Guy: Have you ever kissed a rabbit?

Girl: Uhhh... no.

*Guy pulls out pockets so they hang like bunny ears*

Guy: Will you kiss mine?