Yeah, so this is going to be hard for me. I've told a few people I thought I could trust, but evidently I could not. I'm tired of hiding it, but it's awkward to tell extremely-religious, homophobic parents. How would you come out?

Also, the main reason I'm asking is because I'm afraid the one person I told is going to tell everyone. He said "You can't be bisexual because you don't act camp" and "bisexuality is a choice, if you don't like it, don't be it" - WTF is up with people like this?

Attention whore/fag/dyke

quote:Originally posted by Chronos139:

Attention whore/fag/dyke

I lol'd.

quote:Originally posted by Chronos139:

Attention whore/fag/dyke

it's not something you have to come out about, in my opinion.

quote:Originally posted by lauren7249:

it's not something you have to come out about, in my opinion.

So what do I do? Just go about my business and if anyone asks me answer honestly and make no big deal out of it? That's what I would do but I know what my parents are like.

Eh. I never told my parents. Think my mom figured it out.

Not a huge deal either way.

Why would you have to tell your parents? And why is your friend going to tell everyone now?

If anyone starts bitching to you about it, just set them on fire. Problem solved.

If your friends are so superficial that they would have any problems at all with you being bisexual, I think it is time to rethink how good friends they really are.

E: Parents could be a problem, but what are they gonna do, send you to your room?

[This message has been edited by Z (edited 09-15-2006).]

quote:Originally posted by Raw_Power:

So what do I do? Just go about my business and if anyone asks me answer honestly and make no big deal out of it? That's what I would do but I know what my parents are like.

yeah. if, however, you start to realize you are in fact homosexual and wish to pursue an entirely different lifestyle, coming out becomes more necessary.

quote:E: Parents could be a problem, but what are they gonna do, send you to your room?

Kick me out and call me a shame on the family more likely.

It's better me telling them than them getting it from a second source though.

Bi > *

You don't have to go telling everyone to "come out".

You don't even have to be truthful to everyone.

Just tell the truth to people you like if they ask.

-deus-

Move to bel air

I hate my bisexual life just cause it's too damn good which fucks with my head because my parents are conservatives who've asked me to my face but I lied.

Honestly it's like a blind KKK guy asking a black guy if he's black

Telling people could fuck you up, but if you don't care then you don't care... I still really care

"Mum, Dad, I just killed 3 people."

"WHAT!?!?!?"

"Nah, just kidding. I'm bi. (optional)-> But no one has died... yet."

(still optional) Hold up knife.

Honestly, it's not that big of a deal. You don't have to 'come out' to anyone. I never sat my parents down and came out as straight. I really never saw the big deal with 'coming out.' I supposed you may want to come out if you were completely homosexual, just to avoid any confusion or awkwardness of someone of the opposite sex trying to pick you up. But with bisexuality, it's no big deal if someone of your sex or out of your sex tries to pick you up.

I think you should just continue living your life. Maybe if a conversation pops up, you could throw your orientation into it, but I surely would not go about telling everyone that I am a newly found bisexual. It just doesn't matter.

If your aching to meet people like you, join a support group, or a GLBT club.

quote:Originally posted by Hardly There:

Honestly, it's not that big of a deal. You don't have to 'come out' to anyone. I never sat my parents down and came out as straight. I really never saw the big deal with 'coming out.' I supposed you may want to come out if you were completely homosexual, just to avoid any confusion or awkwardness of someone of the opposite sex trying to pick you up. But with bisexuality, it's no big deal if someone of your sex or out of your sex tries to pick you up.

I think you should just continue living your life. Maybe if a conversation pops up, you could throw your orientation into it, but I surely would not go about telling everyone that I am a newly found bisexual. It just doesn't matter.

If your aching to meet people like you, join a support group, or a GLBT club.

quote:Originally posted by lauren7249:

it's not something you have to come out about, in my opinion.

Fully agreed, I don't see why homosexuals feel the need to tell every single person they know that they love the cock. It's your personal life, you have no obligation to explain yourself to anyone.

quote:Originally posted by Villrux:

Fully agreed, I don't see why homosexuals feel the need to tell every single person they know that they love the cock. It's your personal life, you have no obligation to explain yourself to anyone.

That's a generalisation if I ever heard one.

But yeah, to the OP it's not a big deal, you don't have to come out to your parents if you don't want to. And you have pretty lame ass friends if they're gonna run and tell your parents.

if ur a guy, then just start buying really expensive hair gel, i think your parents will get the hint

[This message has been edited by OrganizedChaos (edited 09-15-2006).]

quote:Originally posted by Raw_Power:

I lol'd.

me 2

Perhaps I'm not able to understand the gravity of the situation because I'm straight, but I just don't see what the big deal is. I mean yeah, with homophobic parents, I can see the awkwardness there -- I don't really see the point in telling them, since you still partly dig women anyhow, and overall it would just cause a lot of unnecessary weirdness.

But as far as your friends go...I'm assuming you're like 16-20...and in our generation, SO many people are openly bi, there's nothing to worry about -- it's practically cool to be bisexual these days, and I know a bunch of girls who think it's way hot for a guy to be openly bi and okay with it. Especially in college, people are totally cool with that stuff, I think our generation is more tolerant of different sexual proclivities than any other generation that came before us, besides the countercultural side of the baby boomers.

Just out of curiosity, do you feel that you have a dominant sexual preference (i.e. primarily heterosexual or homosexual), and if so, which one is it? Cause if you still are mostly into women, I think it'd be even less of an issue. And anyhow, I'd bet money that many more of your friends are bisexual than you would suspect.

quote:Just out of curiosity, do you feel that you have a dominant sexual preference (i.e. primarily heterosexual or homosexual), and if so, which one is it? Cause if you still are mostly into women, I think it'd be even less of an issue. And anyhow, I'd bet money that many more of your friends are bisexual than you would suspect.

I'd say dominantly men.

And the reason I feel I have to tell them is because if they find out anywhere else things will probably turn out a lot worse, because as well as being bisexual they'll also see me as 'lying scum'; I fucking hate having extreme Christians as parents.

quote:Originally posted by Raw_Power:

I'd say dominantly men.

And the reason I feel I have to tell them is because if they find out anywhere else things will probably turn out a lot worse, because as well as being bisexual they'll also see me as 'lying scum'; I fucking hate having extreme Christians as parents.

Okay, and how would they find out?

If your parents are commitable chrisitans then there is little point in trying to tell them.

As long as you live at home then let them believe that you are walking a path of righteous sexual self denial until you find the wife God has predestined for you.

Yes it's dishonest but you do not want to put yourself or them through this grief until you no longer share a house with them.

And it will be grief.

Seems that most people want grief, when they come out.

I can't understand why, exactly, a friend will come up to me, say that he's gay, and then ask me to not hate him...

Seriously. It's pathetic. I wonder how many "bi/gay" people really aren't bi nor gay and just want attention?

And for that matter, how many people that are straight are really bi/gay and DON'T want the attention?

quote:Originally posted by Raw_Power:

I'd say dominantly men.

And the reason I feel I have to tell them is because if they find out anywhere else things will probably turn out a lot worse, because as well as being bisexual they'll also see me as 'lying scum'; I fucking hate having extreme Christians as parents.

Okay, yeah, I can see why you'd want to come out now. Well, any advice I could give would probably be pretty useless to you...but I do have a funny anecdote to share.

When I was like 15 or 16, and had just started drinking, I went out to another city nearby with a couple friends, drank way more than I could handle, and acted like a complete retard, doing cartwheels and falling over the place and slurring obscenities at people 20 years older than me, etc...Well, somewhere over the course of the night, I managed to drop my cellphone somewhere. It had my home phone number listed on the back in case I lost it.

So about a week later, the phone rings and the person on the other end tells my mom that my cell was found outside some nightclub -- which turned out to be a relatively well-known gay/trans bar downtown.

Next thing I know, my mom's declaring a 'family meeting' and they sit me down in my room all dead serious and shit, saying stuff like "Honey, if there's anything you want to tell us..." and my dad's sitting there with his arms crossed, eyeing my Ziggy Stardust poster suspiciously. Talk about awkward, haha.

[This message has been edited by deadteenager (edited 09-15-2006).]

are you emo, too?

quote:I can't understand why, exactly, a friend will come up to me, say that he's gay, and then ask me to not hate him...

It's not looking for attention, it's nervousness that people will look at you differently or not like you anymore. I really do think my parents would kick me out if I told them, I don't want to, but I'm worried someone else is going to.

quote:Originally posted by Raw_Power:

It's not looking for attention, it's nervousness that people will look at you differently or not like you anymore. I really do think my parents would kick me out if I told them, I don't want to, but I'm worried someone else is going to.

No one's going to fucking KNOW that you're bi or whatever unless you tell them. It's not like it matters if every single person you meet knows or not.

Fuck, it's not a big deal.

dont tell your parents unless you want them to disown you

quote:Originally posted by Raw_Power:

It's not looking for attention, it's nervousness that people will look at you differently or not like you anymore. I really do think my parents would kick me out if I told them, I don't want to, but I'm worried someone else is going to.

Okay. I can see you feel very adament about coming out. You may as well just throw a big 'coming out' party. Invite the neighborhood, mom, dad, grandma, grandpa, your 6th cousin twice removed. I'm sure everyone will feel much better after a round of Bisex-Twister.

quote:Originally posted by Gus:

And for that matter, how many people that are straight are really bi/gay and DON'T want the attention?

I sure as hell don't!

EDIT: Oh, and OP if it makes you feel better my parents are pretty hardcore christians too and I'm pretty sure(not completely sure) I'm bi. I haven't told them because it simply doesn't matter. Then again I'm 20 and pretty much have my own life now, I just live here for a bit longer until I can move out.

[This message has been edited by Cloaked Dagger (edited 09-15-2006).]

Christian parants and there brainwashed bullshit. I feel bad for you but I have to deal with the same stuff. You just have to find new beliefs which they can't control because what they believe isn't entirely true.

quote:Originally posted by Gus:



And for that matter, how many people that are straight are really bi/gay and DON'T want the attention?

Yep know that one...

What was that phrase, what was that quote?

Oh yes, I remember

"The love-that-dare-not-speak-its-name- now won't just fucking shut up!"

:P

quote:Originally posted by Raw_Power:

I'm tired of hiding it, but it's awkward to tell extremely-religious, homophobic parents. How would you come out?

Actions sometimes speak louder than words...

Arrange it so your parents walk in on you while your getting it up the pooper.

I haven't read any of the replies so I don't know if I'm repeating; don't care either:

What's the point?

Coming out as homosexual I somewhat understand, albiet a bit self indulgent, in the interest of finding potential lovers. As for bisexuality, what's the point? You have a wealth of possible lovers, and aren't negating any of your previous position as a hetero so why bring it up to anybody who doesn't care/need to know. Namely: the people who you don't want to fuck.

Don't allow yourself to be defined by your sexuality, just go for whoever blows your skirt up, and let people decide for themselves.

You're more than your sex life

If there's anyone in the world you should like it's you and if being bisexual is a part of who you are, you shouldn't let other peoples opinions on it bother you. I'm not saying you should advertise it. Frankly, I don't understand people who feel the need to come out of the closet. I was never in the closet and I never felt the need to come to my parents and say "You need to know I'm bisexual." I mean, really, why is it any of my parents business what I do sexually?

Tell who you want to tell and fuck all their opinions, as long as you're happy. And if they can't accept it and be happy for you, then they're not really the kind of people you want to be hanging around with anyways.

Cheers,

Lost