When you are with someone would you consider being boyfriend/girlfriend the same as just being together but being exclusive? Just wondering what you all think...and sorry if this makes no sense..

Yeah, made no sense.

Being boyfriend and girlfriend means you're exclusive. UNLESS you define it as an open relationship before hand, that is.

quote:Originally posted by Gus:

Yeah, made no sense.

Being boyfriend and girlfriend means you're exclusive. UNLESS you define it as an open relationship before hand, that is.



its just that the guy i am somewhat seeing doesnt want to be called official, but i dont want him and going and doing things with other girls. i dont mind that we arent "gf/bf" but i want to know that he wont go do shit.

You can't have your cake and eat it too, hun...

Does he even want anything with you, besides sex?

Usually a guy won't want things to be called "official" when they just want to keep fucking you, and not have to deal with the relationship aspect of it.

Maybe you should rethink things with him.

quote:Originally posted by Gus:

You can't have your cake and eat it too, hun...

Does he even want anything with you, besides sex?

Usually a guy won't want things to be called "official" when they just want to keep fucking you, and not have to deal with the relationship aspect of it.

Maybe you should rethink things with him.



Thats the jist of it.

quote:Originally posted by Gus:

You can't have your cake and eat it too, hun...

Does he even want anything with you, besides sex?

Usually a guy won't want things to be called "official" when they just want to keep fucking you, and not have to deal with the relationship aspect of it.

Maybe you should rethink things with him.



I sometimes get that feeling, even though we dont have sex that often. We just have a good time together and act as if were together..this has been going on for some time and figured things would get more serious...but i guess thats not the case, who knows, well see. thanks for your input..

i dont have a bf i just have sexxxxxx with the x of mine.....hmmm define that!

quote:Originally posted by ShootingStar:

i dont have a bf i just have sexxxxxx with the x of mine.....hmmm define that!

Sounds like fun as long as neither of you get attached, again. Exs are exs for a reason.

~~~

Well then, ask him, not us. Seriously, not enough people understand that communication is the KEY to a healthy relationship.

You're the type of dumb girl I want to slap sometimes.

He's using you.

(That's mostly the PMS talking)

quote:Originally posted by firekitty751:

You're the type of dumb girl I want to slap sometimes.

He's using you.

(That's mostly the PMS talking)

I guess ive been avoiding that thought becuase i dont want to think its true, but thinking about it more and more ive come to thinking that he could possibly be, even though there isnt much he could be using me for...but thanks for being harsh i guess..

How old are both of you?



Anyway, it could be he is just using you for sex. It could be he wants to be able to fuck other people too(you should clarify this with him). It could be he is just affriad of the "commitment" that would come with it being "official."

Weither or not you call yourselves bf/gf "officially" or not is irrelevent really. What is relevent is the nature of how you view, and what your intentions are with, the relationship.

quote:Originally posted by Cloaked Dagger:

How old are both of you?



Anyway, it could be he is just using you for sex. It could be he wants to be able to fuck other people too(you should clarify this with him). It could be he is just affriad of the "commitment" that would come with it being "official."

Weither or not you call yourselves bf/gf "officially" or not is irrelevent really. What is relevent is the nature of how you view, and what your intentions are with, the relationship.

21.

yeah, I could care less about the title of what we are. I want us to be exclusive, aka not fuck around with other people, but i dont want to seem pushy becuase i know he doesnt want the "official-ness"

I doubt he is using me for sex, we dont fuck that often.

Oh well, im going to talk to him about it tomorrow and see whats up, thanks for the input.

Well, it SOUNDS like he's using you...

I think this is a tricky one, as relationships start out in an ambiguous phase where you're kind of acting like boyfriend and girlfriend before having made it official. Men relish the ambiguity of embarking on a new relationship because they know they are technically 'eating their cake and having another one'.

So, it's your body and you should make him work for the privilege of having you. If he's using you for sex, he should be paying for it! If you let a guy treat you like trash... he will.

Maybe you should hold back a bit, and see if he disappears. If he just wants you for sex, you'll soon find out about it.

He is using you. I've been in the same situation, except it was with my ex, and we were both kind of mutually using eachother. My ex was my rebound... I think that's quite brilliant...

Anyway, you obviously both want different things from the relationship, so unless you can come to some understanding (doubtful) then I suggest you move on to other endeavors.

quote:Originally posted by naked:



Oh well, im going to talk to him about it tomorrow and see whats up, thanks for the input.

Yep, that's the best thing you can do. Didn't you make a thread like this a little while ago too? lol

PS I hope he's not using you.

If a man is genuine about you he TELLS you straight up he wants to be exclusive. He doesn't want anyone else putting their grubby hands on you! If a man sleeps with you, even if it's just once every blue moon or whatever, and doesn't question what else you're getting up to, then I would say he's using you.

Ok, my guess is either he wants to fuck around with other people or has some irrational(and immature) fear of the supposed "commitment" that would come with making it "official"(which probably means he wants to fuck around with other people as well, or he at least wants the option it seems).

Anyway, your best bet is to talk about it with him and clearly say you want to be exclusive with each other. Doesn't mean shit has to be "official" as bf/gf. The only logical reason I can think someone that age would be making a big deal about something being "official" though is because they don't want to be exclusive and believe that would imply that(and it would unless otherwise specified).

quote:Originally posted by Sick_Boy:

Yep, that's the best thing you can do. Didn't you make a thread like this a little while ago too? lol

PS I hope he's not using you.

Yeah I sort of did..it was about talking to him about figuring out what we were..and all i got from our conversation was that he didnt want to call it official....err, i think im thinking into this too much, but I guess I wanted to see what others thought of it. Thanks for your help..

quote:Originally posted by naked:

....err, i think im thinking into this too much



Right, you're dumb if you're having sex with someone and you haven't even fucking thought about it.

quote:Originally posted by Marchesa:

Right, you're dumb if you're having sex with someone and you haven't even fucking thought about it.

Not everyone considers sex a sacred thing. I, for one, view it as a means for physical gratification.

Deary, you're not thinking into too much at all.

I over analyze EVERYTHING. It's natural.

quote:Originally posted by Marchesa:

Right, you're dumb if you're having sex with someone and you haven't even fucking thought about it.



haha, go to hell

quote:Originally posted by naked:



haha, go to hell

No, no, she's right: You're an idiot if you're just fucking someone without thinking.

But, then again, I guess it's not "cool" to think anymore... Just get on your knees and make sure he wants you for another night, right?

Sadly, this is the mindset of people out there. Too many, I feel.

Sex is the tool he's using to work you over with. Mind games for the win, evidently.

quote:Originally posted by Gus:

No, no, she's right: You're an idiot if you're just fucking someone without thinking.

But, then again, I guess it's not "cool" to think anymore... Just get on your knees and make sure he wants you for another night, right?

Sadly, this is the mindset of people out there. Too many, I feel.

Sex is the tool he's using to work you over with. Mind games for the win, evidently.

ha, dont worry ive thought about it, i guess no one here can really understand the problem. weve had sex like twice in the past month. its not even about the sex, neither of us fuck other people without thinking there is something there. im someone to think about it before having sex. thank you for your insight, but i think the problem im having is just heading in the wrong direction in this topic.

quote:Originally posted by naked:

ha, dont worry ive thought about it, i guess no one here can really understand the problem. weve had sex like twice in the past month. its not even about the sex, neither of us fuck other people without thinking there is something there. im someone to think about it before having sex. thank you for your insight, but i think the problem im having is just heading in the wrong direction in this topic.



Ok then, let's take it in the RIGHT direction... The only other thing I could think of is that he's afraid of "commitment".

Do you think that could be the problem? I mean, is he immature, and hates responcibilies? A lot of men are, so don't feel bad if yours is. But it's coming to terms with it, I guess, is the real problem...

Oh, and if you really are through with this topic, then just Delete It (http://tinyurl.com/hdsve).