so.. I have been going out with my girlfriend for about a year and a half now, we have sex and I finger her often. But I have never eaten her out, I really want to and shes really attractive, I just havent for some reason. Any ideas on what I should do or go about my situation?

.......Either youare lying out your ass or you are really a clueless idiot. I want you to read the next few words VERY carefully:

ASK HER.

She always hints about me doing it, I just cant do it, help me!

Don't do it dude. It's gay.

Say "Hmm... I'm hungry for something..."

Naturally, she'll ask "What's that?"

At which time you respond "YOUR VAGINA!" and pounce on her.

Think of it as the most lasty lollipop you have ever had.

quote:Originally posted by Lord Buddha:

Don't do it dude. It's gay.

do it next time before you have sex. having my guy go down on me before sex is the greaest.

Just ask her, man. If you've been together for a year and a half I would be worried if you couldn't talk to her about something like that. Especially if she's hinted at it!

Or the next time you're fingering her, just start kissing her neck and chest and make your way down. If she protests, just say "I really want to do this for you" or something like that.

[This message has been edited by Sick_Boy (edited 09-14-2006).]

make sure its clean and doesnt smell fishy or else xD

Try this.

Next time you're in bed and she's down to her panties then start off by using your tongue on her breasts and nipples. GO GENTLY! Some women have hyper-sensative breasts! Circle the nipple with the tip of your tongue, flick it wit your tongue, smother her breasts in tiny soft kisses. When the nipple is hard and proud try sucking it gently too.

While you're doing all this then just place your hand betwen her legs and 'cup' her vulva/mound with your hand.Just hold it there a while and then when the breast teasing is having the desired effect then start moving your hand , still 'cuped' gently up and down. If that's good then let your ring finger go a little lower so that on each stroke it travels across her clit again GENTLY (you see a common thread appearing here?).

Now start kissing downwards from her breast..her tummy etc until you get to her panty covered mound.

Change postions now. Have her lie on her back with her knees spread and raised. Btw make sure the room is warm enough for her to lie there naked...some good music helps too.

Start kissing her through her panties. A lot of women love this but some do hate it, so if she says 'yuck' then stop!

Let the DRY TIP of your tongue travel up and down the inside of her thighs ESPECIALLY the sides of her groin (at the edge of her knickers).Kiss her mound and clit through the material.

When her wetness soaks through the cloth then you can let a finger travel under the panties to start to tease her.

The object of the excercise is to get her to the point where SHE TEARS HER OWN PANTIES OFF!

Assuming she has then you can start to pleasure her with your tongue peoperly and at this point this 'guide' stops!

Why?

Because at this point YOU MUST ASK HER WHAT SHE WANTS!! I don't mean interrogate her! But say something like 'guide me' or 'show me where it's good for you'

Every woman is unique down there.And there is a good chance that you will either miss 'the spot' totally or lick to hard and cause her discomfort. Experience helps here a lot.



Unless she tells you otherwise AVOID direct clit licking, at least until she is about to orgasm. The sides of the clit are usually a safe bet.



[This message has been edited by jackketch (edited 09-14-2006).]

finger her pussy and smell your fingers just to see if her pussay isn't stinking.

Eating pussy is for lesbians and old bald dudes. Set your sights on anal!

Well, I am joking... ketch's advise is sound. Also, if she's been hinting about it, it seems strange that you havent tried yet.

quote:Originally posted by Obiwanshinobi000:

so.. I have been going out with my girlfriend for about a year and a half now..But I have never eaten her out

wow... im surprised you have not been dumped.

quote:Originally posted by dr rocker:

wow... im surprised you have not been dumped.



Hah, Im just that awsome. Anywho one of my problems I still live with my parents so its hard to get any real alone tme to set this entire thing up. Everytime We are alone I just end up squandering it on sex or anal sex. Anyone have any tips to do it quickly?

More than likely she wont orgasm from it, just so you know.

More than likely, it wont taste very good unless she is atleast somewhat shaved/well trimmed and has showered within last 12 hours.

The taste will surprise you, unless you commonly lick your fingers after/during fingering her.

Try not to say anything about taste/smell or anything at all while down there. Talking is a no-no.

Eating a girl out should be left as a warm up to sex for the first few times. After you get "good" at it, or she is used to it, or you know if she can orgasm or not, then you can do it anytime she wants.

Also, if you get into it like you should, your jaw will start to cramp up after a bit. It hurts like a bitch, but each time you can go longer than before.

Also, you have gotten anal but never tried oral on her? That is the first time I have ever heard that.

quote:Originally posted by streetjusticeforall:

More than likely she wont orgasm from it, just so you know.

More than likely, it wont taste very good unless she is atleast somewhat shaved/well trimmed and has showered within last 12 hours.



Then your technique sucks and fuck alone knows what sort of women you date. In all my years i have never had a bad tasting woman and personally i prefer it if they haven't washed for a day or so.



[This message has been edited by jackketch (edited 09-14-2006).]

This is bullshit. Murder suicide.

[This message has been edited by spinnersean (edited 09-14-2006).]

Just casually start kissing/licking her, then move downwards...

Simple?

Mcdonalds is cheap

quote:Originally posted by streetjusticeforall:

More than likely she wont orgasm from it, just so you know.

More than likely, it wont taste very good unless she is atleast somewhat shaved/well trimmed and has showered within last 12 hours.

The taste will surprise you, unless you commonly lick your fingers after/during fingering her.

Try not to say anything about taste/smell or anything at all while down there. Talking is a no-no.

Eating a girl out should be left as a warm up to sex for the first few times. After you get "good" at it, or she is used to it, or you know if she can orgasm or not, then you can do it anytime she wants.

Also, if you get into it like you should, your jaw will start to cramp up after a bit. It hurts like a bitch, but each time you can go longer than before.

Also, you have gotten anal but never tried oral on her? That is the first time I have ever heard that.Im just that awsome.

quote:Originally posted by Obiwanshinobi000:

[QUOTE]im just that awesome

why the fuck are you reapeating yourself

quote:Originally posted by Obiwanshinobi000:

Im just that awsome.

stop using that as a reply. you haven't even eaten your poor girlfriend out yet. lack of awesome right there.

i don't see how you could've done anal with her and not oral yet when it's been a year, unless she's a very strange girl. after you go down on her, be prepared to keep doing it because unless you suck at it it's the best thing in the world. BEST.

there's already a bunch of advice up there, so get your ass in gear.

edit: damn spelling.

[This message has been edited by YouLookFourteen (edited 09-14-2006).]

quote:Originally posted by YouLookFourteen:

stop using that as a reply. you haven't even eaten your poor girlfriend out yet. lack of awesome right there.

i don't see how you could've done anal with her and not oral yet when it's been a year, unless she's a very strange girl. after you go down on her, be prepared to keep doing it because unless you suck at it it's the best thing in the world. BEST.

there's already a bunch of advice up there, so get your ass in gear.

edit: damn spelling.



She really loves me, so I dont know what the fuck to say. But all I can do is try to go down on her.

Why the fuck would you want to eat her out? It sucks.

quote:Originally posted by Markoni:

Why the fuck would you want to eat her out? It sucks.

You're missing the point. He has got a REAL LIVE girlfriend so he won't get that horrible plastic taste you do.

quote:Originally posted by jackketch:

You're missing the point. He has got a REAL LIVE girlfriend so he won't get that horrible plastic taste you do.

...i...can't even grasp the vast amounts of pwnage that just happened here...

quote:Originally posted by jackketch:

personally i prefer it if they haven't washed for a day or so.



The only thing you are getting for taste is piss and sweat. To me, thats a turn off.

quote:Originally posted by streetjusticeforall:

The only thing you are getting for taste is piss and sweat. To me, thats a turn off.

Then you're doing it wrong. You should be getting mouthfuls of the headest scented juice. Often honey/flowery tasting although each woman has her own unique taste and scent.And all have that 'coppery' estrogen scent when they get nearer orgasm.

quote:Originally posted by jackketch:

Then your technique sucks and fuck alone knows what sort of women you date. In all my years i have never had a bad tasting woman and personally i prefer it if they haven't washed for a day or so.





Women are paranoid about this and if a man asked me not to wash for a day or so I would tell him hadn't but secretly I would have.

quote:Originally posted by jackketch:

You're missing the point. He has got a REAL LIVE girlfriend so he won't get that horrible plastic taste you do.

This, children? This is what we like to call "pwnage."

quote:Originally posted by Marchesa:



Women are paranoid about this and if a man asked me not to wash for a day or so I would tell him hadn't but secretly I would have.



uhm....i don't tend to ask women to do things! (Note the stress on the word 'ask', ok?)

quote:Originally posted by jackketch:



uhm....i don't tend to ask women to do things! (Note the stress on the word 'ask', ok?)

Er, sorry. I can't write cos I'm laughing too much!

This post has absolutely nothing to do with the thread.

I am so happy i am crying, my life rocks to the extreme. i am tripping on weed and alcohol. I have come to so many conclusions tonight, I walked into the kitchen and there was a cream cheese and smoked salmon bagel. Homemade, with the smoked salmon that is stupidly expensive. Just lying on the table. With a note, from dad, saying happy friday. I am the luckiest man in the world.

quote:Originally posted by jackketch:



uhm....i don't tend to ask women to do things! (Note the stress on the word 'ask', ok?)

If you were my husband you would SO be the catcher!

quote:Originally posted by jackketch:

You're missing the point. He has got a REAL LIVE girlfriend so he won't get that horrible plastic taste you do.

Nigger please. Don't even try to tell me you enjoy eating your wife's leathery 50-year old pussy. You come on Totse asking for advice because you're too much of a degenerate to raise your own kids and then you flame me for telling this guy that licking a girl's pussy for 30 minutes is not the most fun in the world? Fuck off. Maybe you're one of those guys who's more of a pet then a man and enjoys pleasing others but personally I'd rather fuck the girl then lick her for half an hour.

quote:Originally posted by jackketch:

You're missing the point. He has got a REAL LIVE girlfriend so he won't get that horrible plastic taste you do.

HHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA

wow....... lmao I haven't laughed that hard in a while, thanks Jack.

Obiwanshinobi000, have you done it yet?!

quote:Originally posted by Markoni:

Maybe you're one of those guys who's more of a pet then a man and enjoys pleasing others .

HA HA HAH HA HA HA *gasps for air *

You are new here aren't you?

quote:Originally posted by jackketch:

HA HA HAH HA HA HA *gasps for air *

You are new here aren't you?

That's sure safe to say.

quote:Originally posted by Mr. Stabby:

This post has absolutely nothing to do with the thread.

I am so happy i am crying, my life rocks to the extreme. i am tripping on weed and alcohol. I have come to so many conclusions tonight, I walked into the kitchen and there was a cream cheese and smoked salmon bagel. Homemade, with the smoked salmon that is stupidly expensive. Just lying on the table. With a note, from dad, saying happy friday. I am the luckiest man in the world.

I love cheese cream bagels with smoked salmon. Mmm. I'm jealous.

Congrats on your deep, drunken, stoned thoughts. They don't count though.

Ive done it, about an hour ago I ate her out and she came. It was fuckin awsome, it tasted bitter at first untill I just started to taste my own saliva. I fucking love it, why haven't I done this sooner?

quote:Originally posted by Jerusalem:

finger her pussy and smell your fingers just to see if her pussay isn't stinking.

oh yes and I'm sure she WON'T FIND THIS AT ALL ODD.

quote:Originally posted by 404_error:

oh yes and I'm sure she WON'T FIND THIS AT ALL ODD.

Ahh come on. It's like changing oil. Gotta check the dipstick.

quote:Originally posted by RogueWarheart:

Ahh come on. It's like changing oil. Gotta check the dipstick.

if its gotten to the point its that bad, you should replace the fucking car.

quote:Originally posted by 404_error:

if its gotten to the point its that bad, you should replace the fucking car.

I'm a classic car enthusiast and I enjoy eating girls out. The worst thing to do ever in bed with a girl is make some kind of comment that relates to anything nerdy. So don't say 'your moan is like an overheating radiator' or 'your scream reminds me of a slipping fan belt'.

Oh and a tip, put your head sideways in relation to her vagina (so like you're looking across her hips instead of up them and then you can flick your tongue up and down really quickly across her clit

quote:Originally posted by frinkmakesyouthink:

I'm a classic car enthusiast and I enjoy eating girls out. The worst thing to do ever in bed with a girl is make some kind of comment that relates to anything nerdy. So don't say 'your moan is like an overheating radiator' or 'your scream reminds me of a slipping fan belt'.



ha. HA. "You fuck like a well drawn anime charater."

quote:Originally posted by 404_error:

oh yes and I'm sure she WON'T FIND THIS AT ALL ODD.

Not if you do it with a lick, and smile up at her.

If it smells really bad, just move down and kiss her, wipe off on the bed, and tell her that you just want to cuddle.

quote:Originally posted by Jerusalem:

finger her pussy and smell your fingers just to see if her pussay isn't stinking.

Actually usually after I finger her I dont even wash my hands, just wipe them on the bed or some shit. Then I stick them in her face and laugh.

quote:Originally posted by Obiwanshinobi000:

Actually usually after I finger her I dont even wash my hands, just wipe them on the bed or some shit. Then I stick them in her face and laugh.

me too, especially about sticking them in her face. she does the same to me. I give as good as I get

I think someone is LYING... Anybody with a girlfriend who had NOT went down on her in a year and who fingered her and stuck their fingers in her face WOULD GET PISSED OFF AND DUMPED. So therefore I get the drift that someone is a liar... girlfriend... pfffft.

make sure she isnt against it, like just bring it up then at a later time when its looking like your gonna get laid start fingering her and then just start kissing down by her belly button, move down to cooche hell if you want kiss the inside of her legs from her knees into her puss, my girl loves that shit.

quote:Originally posted by I Want Revenge:

I think someone is LYING... Anybody with a girlfriend who had NOT went down on her in a year and who fingered her and stuck their fingers in her face WOULD GET PISSED OFF AND DUMPED. So therefore I get the drift that someone is a liar... girlfriend... pfffft.

Then you probably arent attractive enough for a girl to stick with you if you dont do that stuff. However, my girlfriend loves me that much.

You asshole I AM a girl! I know what girls like... at least the horny ones... I wouldn't let a guy screw me before he had went down on me

My husband and I never had oral sex until we had been married for several months.

quote:Originally posted by I Want Revenge:

You asshole I AM a girl! I know what girls like... at least the horny ones... I wouldn't let a guy screw me before he had went down on me

Well in that case, youre a stuck up whore.

Wow.. I for one, can't believe I still have this link.

http://img382.imageshack.us/img382/1724/orgasmspicure4ko.jpg

It's "crimsonsmoke"'s guide on eating pussy.

I don't know if he's still around totse.. or whatever... but this link will answer all questions you really need to know to "get your feet wet", or in this case.. your face.

Just cuz I know what i like does not mean i am a stuck up whore... in any case i bet you are a fat fuck who sits on his ass all day and makes up an alternate fantasy life in which he wishes he could partake...

thank you have a nice day

quote:Originally posted by outcast234:

Wow.. I for one, can't believe I still have this link.

*edit , was stretching the page

It's "crimsonsmoke"'s guide on eating pussy.

I don't know if he's still around totse.. or whatever... but this link will answer all questions you really need to know to "get your feet wet", or in this case.. your face.

Sweet, now I feel less like a bumbling idiot.

[This message has been edited by jackketch (edited 09-18-2006).]

quote:Originally posted by outcast234:

Wow.. I for one, can't believe I still have this link.



It's "crimsonsmoke"'s guide on eating pussy.

I don't know if he's still around totse.. or whatever... but this link will answer all questions you really need to know to "get your feet wet", or in this case.. your face.

OMG...crimsonsmoke! I wonder where he's been!



[This message has been edited by jackketch (edited 09-18-2006).]

What did you edit? I'm not mad, I just can't remember what I posted before...

quote:Originally posted by I-RapeTards:

Say "Hmm... I'm hungry for something..."

Naturally, she'll ask "What's that?"

At which time you respond "YOUR VAGINA!" and pounce on her.

That idea turns me on so much.....i'd do it....but im a girl so i kinda cant...but hey if u did that to me i'd totally let you

quote:Originally posted by jackketch:

'coppery'

Yeeahh.. coppery.. that's the best word I've heard to describe it, pretty much ever. Good job.

It's not that great, but it's not too bad, but it's fun, so.. Just do it.

quote:Originally posted by jojabr:

Originally posted by jackketch:

'coppery'

Yeeahh.. coppery.. that's the best word I've heard to describe it, pretty much ever. Good job.

It's not that great, but it's not too bad, but it's fun, so.. Just do it.



I compare the smell to wet pennies. If she smells anything other than that, sweat and a little like piss, she is dirty.

I myself don't mind that sweat smell, like say after a night of dancing. rowr.

quote:Originally posted by Xiao Mei:

[...]I never had oral sex until[...]

There is NO until with "never', hun.

What you meant to say was.. Perhaps... You hadn't had oral sex until?

Bah, I just hate when people make THAT mistake. :\

I just have to say that this has been so damned entertaining....:P

just wanted to say that most women love to have their man go down on them, just as the man loves us to go down on them. It feels fantastic, in both the giving and recieving. I have been with men that did not want to and men that did, and the ones the "did go down" were the best! Good luck with your girlfriend, and I hope you stay together for a long time.

quote:Originally posted by Gus:

There is NO until with "never', hun.

What you meant to say was.. Perhaps... You hadn't had oral sex until?

Bah, I just hate when people make THAT mistake. :\

You tawk funny.

quote:Originally posted by Xiao Mei:

What did you edit? I'm not mad, I just can't remember what I posted before...

The linky you quoted was stretching the page that's all. I put a comment on the orignal link post but forgot to put one on yours.My bad.

quote:Originally posted by I Want Revenge:

I think someone is LYING... Anybody with a girlfriend who had NOT went down on her in a year and who fingered her and stuck their fingers in her face WOULD GET PISSED OFF AND DUMPED. So therefore I get the drift that someone is a liar... girlfriend... pfffft.

lol hate to break it to you sister but hes not lying.. Im his girlfriend and yes its true i let him have anal b4 he went down on me. why you ask? cuz i love him and i wanted to make him happy b4 i worried about myself. there is nothing i love more then to give him a good blowjob and see the happy look on his face!

[This message has been edited by GreatFlyingFlamingos (edited 09-23-2006).]