I've got a few questions to ask you lot, they're regarding several different aspects of a relationship, in specific emotional and physical. What I want to talk about in essence is how you feel in your current relationship?

Do you ever get so over-whelmed by the fact that you are going out with/married to your partner? I certainly do, i'm not sure whether this is a good sign or not. I'm not sure whether it demonstrates a degree of maturity or vice versa, sometimes she makes me so emotional it's not funny. Does this ever happen to you?

Another is fear of loosing him/her? I dont really see this as a sign of an insecurity (though it might be), but i'm constantly worried about loosing my girlfriend, i'm concerned that we'll end up breaking up again and loose contact, this istn' all the times. But the times when I'm just sitting/laying there "doing my thing" and get into deep thoughts. So, do you personally ever worry about loosing your partner?

How do you work with conversation? Are you fluent with conversation? Or are you a lot like myself and struggle? Sadly I'm not really a confident person and struggle with fluent conversation. Does this happen to you? Sometimes I dont know what to say, so we muck around with each other, but this isn't really appropriate, moments of seriousness are needed. But, i'm not sure how.

Hell, some may say i'm pretty damn "nooby" at relationships and your most probably right, but I'm just wondering how you as an individual feel about your relationships at present? To tell the truth, I dont even know what to expect from this thread, I guess understanding of how other couples "do their thing".

Also, how do you and your partner show affection to one and another? Different couples show it in different ways and I was just wondering on your own unique style of doing things?

Thanks for your contributions in advance.

--------------------------------------------

Short version.

Do you ever fear loosing your partner?

Do you ever feel over-whelmed by your relationship and

Do you ever struggle for conversation?

and,

How do you show affection to one and another?

quote:Originally posted by Mindless Xyzzyean:

Do you ever get so over-whelmed by the fact that you are going out with/married to your partner?

Yeah, the girls I've been with have given me that feeling. Sometimes it's a good feeling.. "Wow, my life is so awesome!"... Othertimes it's a bad feeling... "Why the fuck did I hook up with this bitch?!"..> But either way it always passes.

quote:Originally posted by Mindless Xyzzyean:

Another is fear of loosing him/her?

Oh, of course. But worse than that is a fear of needing to get rid of them because you understand you aren't compatible anymore. Sadly I've had to do that, before.

quote:Originally posted by Mindless Xyzzyean:

How do you work with conversation? Are you fluent with conversation? Or are you a lot like myself and struggle?

Usually I'm stuck leading conversations with all of my friends, family, and lovers... Just how life is, for me.

quote:Originally posted by Mindless Xyzzyean:

Hell, some may say i'm pretty damn "nooby" at relationships and your most probably right, but I'm just wondering how you as an individual feel about your relationships at present?

Don't have one, and I find that to be the best way until I find that someone that'll be worth my time.

quote:Originally posted by Gus:

Oh, of course. But worse than that is a fear of needing to get rid of them because you understand you aren't compatible anymore. Sadly I've had to do that, before

Yes, That is pretty hard, i've only done it once, but it was pretty wierd, I chickened out and said the whole "break" thing... Damn, I fail

I had the same attitude about not finding a relationship unless I was 100% sure that she was worth my time, in which I am with my girlfriend. I'm constantly innundated with emotions and compassion to simply spend time with her.

Once again, Thanks for the contribution.

Do you ever fear loosing your partner?

Yeah, I do. I know I shouldn't because it's pretty clear that we will be together as long as we want to be together, but you know everyone worries I think. Just some people worry more than ohters and I don't think that I personally worry to much. I really trust her not to break my heart and leave me or anything. But I think there is irrational fear in everyone, it is just part of human nature. I only fear her finding someone better than me and realizing that they are better. Then leaving me for them. I don't worry about her just leaving me because I know she loves me a lot and she cares about me. But the thing is that she doesn't need me like I need her. I really need her, I would die on the inside if I lost her, she is a big part of me. I have a lot of shit going on in my life right now and some of that shit is an identity crisis. I was adopted at birth and have never known my biological parents. Only my adoptive ones. Also, my adoptive parents are very liberal and they never forced anything on me. They let me basically raise myself with them always being there to help me get back on track if I fell off. Otherwise, I was on my own. It wasn't so much scary as it is now. I don't know who I am exactly and I don't know who I want to be. So I see all of these people around me and I can tell what they will end up like and I can tell when people are similar in personality and beliefs just by looking at them, and this has nothing to do with clothing or anything. So my girlfriend is a large part of me because she is the part of me that I KNOW I am. She allows me to be the part of me that is loving and caring and tender and sweet, which is pretty much my favorite way to act.

But I do worry about losing her, because that'd be losing ther most important thing in my life and that would also be losing myself.

Do you ever feel over-whelmed by your relationship?

I am not sure what you mean by this question. I feel overwhelmed sometimes by the fact that I am so lucky, and that we're absolutely perfect for each other. But as I was saying in the last paragraph, I don't really know who I am. As far as I can tell, my girlfriend and I are pretty much amazing for each other. But sometimes I worry if it's just because we just treat each other really well and that is what keeps us together. Because if I don't know who I am how can the puzzle pieces fit together? I am still finding the shape of my piece. I hope when I find it we fit together. But maybe my piece will not be so emotionally dependant. I used to talk her to sleep and after I did I would cry a lot, telling her quietly how much I love her and how much she means to me. I don't think she knows that.. but I did it a lot. I don't do it much anymore but I still feel too lucky. My main source of being overwhelmed is because I have hurt her a lot in the past. Although I'm over saying I don't deserve her because of it, I still feel very bad about it. She is such a magnificent individual and she doesn't deserve pain. I regret ever giving any to her and often do become overwhelmed for ever hurting her.

Do you ever struggle for conversation?

No. Conversation for us just flows and comes naturally. It's a simple thing to do. You can have a good conversation with anyone as long as both of you are moderately educated and polite. I have talked to her, just talked, nothing else, for full days before. Just her and I. From sunrise to sunset.

How do you show affection to one and another?

I am in a long distance relationship. (Before any of you talk shit just shut your mouths because we have been together for nearly two years.) So the only forms of affection we can show is over the phone I suppose. We tell each other sweet things constantly, and for a lot of people that may not be enough. A lot of people may need to like hug and kiss and other physical things as well. But we can wait for those things with each other. I think it used to not be enough to wait and we each kind of hurt each other. But we are well past that and we know that it is worth it to wait for each other. We also leave each other little messages over the internet to read when the other wakes up or checks their computer. We are very loving and considerate of each other.





[This message has been edited by Joe Cool (edited 09-13-2006).]

Do you ever fear loosing your partner?

Like you said, i do sometimes, but only when im in deep thought, its a big fear of mine.

Do you ever feel over-whelmed by your relationship.

Some of the time i think that its the best thing in the world and how lucky i am..

Do you ever struggle for conversation?

Hardly ever have nothing to talk about.. Unless we've been together for 4 weeks, thats the only time we found we had nothing else to talk about lol

How do you show affection to one and another?

Lots of hugs and kisses at random times and points of the day.. Flowers.. very occasionanly.

From my last relationship:

quote:Originally posted by Mindless Xyzzyean:

Do you ever fear loosing your partner?

All the time. I'm one paranoid motherfucker. I always kept a watchful eye on her. I can't help it.

quote:Originally posted by Mindless Xyzzyean:

Do you ever feel over-whelmed by your relationship.

Yeah I guess, I dunno.

quote:Originally posted by Mindless Xyzzyean:

Do you ever struggle for conversation?

When I'm sober, yes. When I'm drunk, the fun never ends.

quote:Originally posted by Mindless Xyzzyean:

How do you show affection to one and another?

Sex and occaisional kisses. A random little gift here or there.

Bump, Thanks for the replies guys. Seems i'm not that strange afterall.

quote:Originally posted by Mindless Xyzzyean:

Bump, Thanks for the replies guys. Seems i'm not that strange afterall.

I'd like to see your responses to your own questions.

Do you ever fear loosing your partner?

Only because of my last girlfriend.. but I'm starting to overcome the 'fear'. Whatever happens, happens.



Do you ever feel over-whelmed by your relationship?

Never. I don't see why anyone would. I was about to marry my last girlfriend, still wasn't "overwhelmed".



Do you ever struggle for conversation?

When I first meet someone new (girl or not), I struggle with conversation pretty hard. Especially if I cannot relate to them by much. And yes, I am currently struggling with conversation.

With my ex, up until the 2 or 3 month mark - we didn't have much to talk about. But I guess if you build some history together - it becomes much easier.



How do you show affection to one and another?

With my ex (1 year relationship), we had names for eachother, hugged and kissed a lot etc.

with my new gf, since its still early, we only show affection by 'flirty' means.

I thought I clearly answered the questions within the justification of them, but oh well, I'll do it more clearly now.

Do you ever fear loosing your partner?

Yes, I fear loosing my partner all the time, because we have a history and the thought of loosing her again is so scary, considering she means so damn much to me.

Do you ever feel over-whelmed by your relationship?

Yes, Sometimes I do get quite over-whelmed being with her, like I said before she means so much to me and to think about how lucky I really am to be having another go at this with her is so great!

and

Do you ever struggle for conversation?

Sadly, yes, I do struggle with conversation. Probably because everything I want to say is usually said within the first few minutes, leaving latter hours to other less important topics.

and,

How do you show affection to one and another?

We show affection to eachother mainly by hugging each other, letting each other know exactly how we feel and holding hands. We've been together for a month now and hell, I just love spending time with her. I dont even care about doing anything physical, like some Totseans i've seen complaining about. Errg, to be 13 again :P Everything is so dramatic!!

But, Platonic Love < Look it up. It's how I feel, but dont if you can't be bothered.

quote:Originally posted by Mindless Xyzzyean:

Platonic Love. It's how I feel

Same..

I don't care about sex in relationships AT ALL.

I agree with Gus on all the questions.

To those who don't care about sex in a relationship: How do you differentiate relationships from friendships then? This makes no sense to me. I believe that there has to be a strong physical chemistry for there to be any point in a relationship. If there wasn't then I would "be in love with" all of my friends...

Anyway, back on topic:

Do you ever fear loosing your partner?

Never. I'm very confident in his devotion to me, and mine to him.

Do you ever feel over-whelmed by your relationship?

Sometimes. We've gotten serious pretty quickly.

Do you ever struggle for conversation?

At the begininning we struggled a bit, but this is because our relationship started on a physical basis. Once we got to know each other better it came easily. Although I still struggle a bit with making conversation on the phone, but I've never been much of a phone-talker, lol.



How do you show affection to one and another?

We can never take our hands of each other. We're probably one of those couples who make people sick with all their googly eyes and stuff, lol. When we walk together he always has his arm around me, when we sit together we cuddle. I also like to grope him at inopportune moments, lol. Oh, and I love playing with his hair! Since we're not together right now though, the only affection we can really show is through mushy/dirty texts, haha!

no for all.. ok maybe i feel a little over-whelmed at times.

I don't really worry about losing my husband, but sometimes I do get kind of overwhealmed by him. He needs a lot of attention and sometimes I just want to be alone.

And I show affection by hugging him, singing to him, cooking his favorite foods, knitting him sweaters and scarves and the occasional bout of oral sex. He shows affection by hugging and kissing me, bringing me gifts, doing the things I like and the occasional bout of oral sex.:P

quote:Originally posted by Sick_Boy:

To those who don't care about sex in a relationship: How do you differentiate relationships from friendships then?



Dont get me wrong, but I agree with you. It is quite necessary to have a strong chemistry bonding between the two parties, but not all is physical, which is apparant.

At the moment, I see relationships based more upon intimacy, affection and relation to and with each other. But hell, physicallity (is that even a word), is definately needed.

Bear in mind i'm still "just a teen", so sex isn't that big of a deal to me, really. I'm 16 soon, I mean sure, we all see 13 year olds on this site whinging and bitching that they aren't getting any pussy. But, *shrugs, I'm definately saving it for the right person. For some sex probably seems disposable, but yeah. I want it to mean something.

It's tough to have a meaningful relationship with my hand and a bottle of Jergens.

I jest, I kid.

But seriously, I'm single.

to whoever said relationship - sex = friendship...

Dictionary: Romance

quote:Originally posted by Sailor-Boy:

to whoever said relationship - sex = friendship...

Dictionary: Romance

Flowers and chocolates don't make me come...

Do you ever fear loosing your partner?

I feel like the "kid" in the relationship or the one who likes the other one more. So yes. Im the much affectionate one and I think we have issues that I always intiate things so I feel bad because I feel like I'm never like jumped on

Do you ever feel over-whelmed by your relationship

I haven't been in a while. Sometimes I've been so rapped up in lies that I can't stand it and just need to like... die. When we went on vacation with each other I felt trapped at times with someone who didn't want to be on my "team" they didn't think they needed to make me happy because i was safe. I would stay, they needed to keep others happy.

Do you ever struggle for conversation?

Nope, it's why we're in a relationship, we always had really good conversation when we were just friends, talking all night, now almost a year later and we still can chat it up. Though we can't stay up all night talking anymore we fall asleep quite easily which sometimes is a concern

How do you show affection to one and another?

We used to write to eachother, like emails, sometimes on paper. We like to dance. I personally like to buy things. Oh and we fuck, so that's a good way

Do you ever fear losing your partner?

Sometimes. But it's a normal thing.

You would fear losing something you love so much.

Do you ever feel over-whelmed by your relationship.

Sometimes it sucks not having time to myself but 99% of the time it makes me smile knowing that I have a girl who loves me so much.

So much so she bought me Gibson SG for our first anniversary, which costs around £800-£1000!

Do you ever struggle for conversation?

Never. She is the first girl I've ever met who I can sit down and talk to for hours and hours about absolutely anything and be happy.

It's great when you can talk to your other half about girlfriend/boyfriend stuff...But be able to talk like best friends aswell!

How do you show affection to one and another?

Many ways.

Talking, making dinner, making a cup of tea for her to have when she gets in from work/college, telling her how much she means to me...

So many ways.

yes , yes , yes , and i have no fucking idea

Do you ever fear loosing your partner?

Yes

Do you ever feel over-whelmed by your relationship?

Yeah. Sometimes I can't believe that I am so lucky haha

Do you ever struggle for conversation?

Yeah. She always tells my to talk and I don't know what to say. It's not that great.

How do you show affection to one and another?

Do nice things for her, spontanious hugs/kisses/whatever, stuff like that.

I think my relationship is a fake, atm.