A girl who I've liked for a long time told me she liked me then I asked her on a date and she said yes.

But she's being real shady. When she's online, she barely responds. She says she HATES talking on the phone (she's weird.) She has always kind of been hard to get a hold of, but it's not a problem when you're not trying to date her because you don't feel the need to be in contact with her all the time. I called her yesterday and she said she was at work and could not speak. I was under the impression that she had no job.

Basically, this is to say, she is acting in such a way that expresses the exact opposite of her kind words. She even said she loved me, which I thought was fast, but I really enjoyed.

She's very smart, and very pretty, and she's been a good friend of mine for a long time and therefore I cannot afford to cut her loose.

What can I do?

ask her to tell the truth.

Ask her how she feels. Tell her that you believe her actions are speaking louder than her words are, and you dont want to waste your time.

If you haven't set up a time for a date, try and do that soon, via in-person means. Then forget about her eccentric behavior online and just stop doubting yourself.

quote:Originally posted by Gus:

If you haven't set up a time for a date, try and do that soon, via in-person means. Then forget about her eccentric behavior online and just stop doubting yourself.

that's the thing, she's always very normal in person, and she expresses how much she loves being around me, but I don't go to the same school as her. and I don't want to like, go looking for her when school gets out. that would seem stalkerish. therefore it's hard for me to see her in real life.

quote:Originally posted by actionfaad:

When she's online, she barely responds. She says she HATES talking on the phone (she's weird.)I'm like that Same with IRC, and I'm a mod and am supposed to be in IRC 24/7...

But I don't think it's weird. For me, I feel really weird talking to someone directly, without actually seeing them. I don't know what it is, but phones/IM/etc make me uncomfortable, since they're instant communication, but no direct contact. But I'm fine with email and forums... Maybe it's the fact that you can't be as expressive on the phone or IM as you can in real life, and that fucks with me or something... Whatever. I'm pretty fucked up in general...

But to make this relevant... Just because she's uncomfortable on the phone doesn't mean she's not in to you. She may just have the same kind of hangup I do. However, it clearly seems like that would be problem for you, so you should probably bring it up with her, and just ask *why* she doesn't like to be on the phone and whatnot.

And find out if she does have a job. If she doesn't, I'd fucking confront her. Lieing is one thing I can't stand...

quote:Originally posted by Gus:

If you haven't set up a time for a date, try and do that soon, via in-person means. Then forget about her eccentric behavior online and just stop doubting yourself.

HOLY SHTUI I HAVENT SEEN YOU POST IN MONTHS !!

FUCK

quote:Originally posted by actionfaad:

that's the thing, she's always very normal in person, and she expresses how much she loves being around me, but I don't go to the same school as her. and I don't want to like, go looking for her when school gets out. that would seem stalkerish. therefore it's hard for me to see her in real life.

Make time, and tell her that you just wanted to talk to her. Try and be sweet about it. Ask her if she has time to go get a coffee (or something like that).

She could very well be one of those girls that just really and truly don't understand the internet as a means of communication. Some people, if not most, are like that.

~~~

quote:Originally posted by WannaFuckWannaSex0r:

HOLY SHTUI I HAVENT SEEN YOU POST IN MONTHS !!

FUCK

I just flamed you last week.... Drunk much? ;P

quote:Originally posted by WannaFuckWannaSex0r:

HOLY SHTUI I HAVENT SEEN YOU POST IN MONTHS !!

FUCK

You stupid fuck. You're incapable of contributing, aren't you?

To the OP, the only thing that should worry you is if she suddenly undertook a drastic change. Like, so she doesn't like talking on the phone, that's not a problem, unless she really liked talking on the phone previously. Or how she doesn't respond to IM's, again, that's only a problem if she used to be a quick responder.

Just have a chat with her, bring it up, but don't accuse her of being shady/dodgy. For starters, if I were you, I'd question her about her job. You didn't even know she had one, so that obviously needs some talking about. Then I'm sure you can handle the rest.

Maybe (heh? vhat I do's I'se knows?) she didn't mean in a dating way? Just in a 'good friend' way?

Maybe (heh? vhat...) she just wants the thexxth but doesn't want to seem shallow by passing on having a relationship?

Ask her point blank just what she 'estimates' she wants to be between you? If yer friends but don't 'date'...then you never really have to break up...just perhaps drift apart.

Daters break up...

Friends drift apart... Wha'?

Hmmm that's a bit odd. Maybe she's just in a shell? Where do you see her in person? It sounds like that's by -far- the best time to talk to her.