I just had anal sex with my girlfriend about 20 minutes ago. She said it felt really good but now it hurts. It felt alot better than I thought it would and I came in her, I pulled it out and it made a farting noise. now she hurts, what should I do?

Check for damage.

Is it bleeding? If it is, get her to the hospital.

If it's not bleeding, she's most likely just sore and stretched.

Give her head. Until she cums. Three times.

Wash, rinse, repeat.

You just punded her in the ass, and you expect it to not be sore? Its normal, don't worrie about it. Was it her first time? Maybe you went in too far. She will get used to it.

You probably used the wrong lubricant. I use a Suave shampoo myself. Most other lubricant causes a strange burning sensationion with fast motion. It will pass.

quote:Originally posted by Obiwanshinobi000:

I just had anal sex with my girlfriend about 20 minutes ago. She said it felt really good but now it hurts. It felt alot better than I thought it would and I came in her, I pulled it out and it made a farting noise. now she hurts, what should I do?

Consult a priest?

quote:Originally posted by Xiao Mei:



Consult a priest?



watch it missy...you're going to have to do some praying inthe near future as well!



[This message has been edited by oral fixation (edited 09-13-2006).]

Imagine my next confession after the event...

"Oh forgive me father, for I have anally sinned!"

How many :Hail Marys" and "Our Fathers" will THAT entail...

She says she was bleeding when she wiped her butt and some blood came out. Is that ok?

God does smite the wicked...

Seriously, though, I think she'll be fine. Just stay outta dat ass for a few days, okay Tiger?

quote:Originally posted by Xiao Mei:

God does smite the wicked...

Seriously, though, I think she'll be fine. Just stay outta dat ass for a few days, okay Tiger?

wahhhh, I want more lovins.

Just do it the normal way.

quote:Originally posted by Obiwanshinobi000:

She says she was bleeding when she wiped her butt and some blood came out. Is that ok?

ya pounded her ass, what do you think? It's going to feel like a beauty treatment?

As for bleeding, remove any damage by cutting that area out with a sterile razor. Then apply bandages.

quote:Originally posted by RogueWarheart:

As for bleeding, remove any damage by cutting that area out with a sterile razor. Then apply bandages.

This is sound medical advice if you're living before the invention of logic.

Please, step to the right as this man is flamed alive.

quote:Originally posted by Gus:

This is sound medical advice if you're living before the invention of logic.

Please, step to the right as this man is flamed alive.

You actually thought that was serious....wow.. You really are an idiot.

quote:Originally posted by RogueWarheart:

You actually thought that was serious....wow.. You really are an idiot.

Kid, it's not that I thought it was real (you can't be that dumb... Although you can always try and surprise me)... It's that someone else MIGHT.

If you want to joke about something as serious as anal sex, go to Half Baked. They might even like you, there, n00b.

*smacks both Gus and Rogue upside the head!*

'How good and how pleasant for the brethern to live together in unity' Psalm 133 v.1

Hey now, Jack, you know that costs ten dollars Sailor!!

*Holds his hand out and tries to look angry*

quote:Originally posted by Gus:

It's that someone else MIGHT.



That's the point. Same with "huff raid" was a while back.

@ Ketch, how are you so wise?

quote:Originally posted by RogueWarheart:

That's the point. Same with "huff raid" was a while back.

This isn't the forum for that, kid.

Seriously, keep that somewhere that desperate [pre]teenagers don't come for advice.

quote:Originally posted by Gus:

This isn't the forum for that, kid.

Seriously, keep that somewhere that desperate [pre]teenagers don't come for advice.

WTF is huff raid

quote:Originally posted by kingofbadideas:

WTF is huff raid

Its some ant or bug killer, people say youre supposed to huff it and you will get a high. Well the story is somone did, and they ended up in a coma.

But anyways, my girlfriend is fine and happy now, she says no more pain. How long should I wait before I do it agian though?

quote:Originally posted by kingofbadideas:

WTF is huff raid

quote:Totseisms

There are a few phrases that are commonly said on the Totse BBS, mostly in the forums Spurious Generalities, Half Baked and Bitch and Moan. Most of these phrases were thought to have been coined by Totse users, but many of them existed before Totse was created, and were introduced to the UBB by a Totse member.

One in particular is the name of the BBS's recreational drug related forum, Better Living Through Chemistry.

List of Totseisms

A list of totseisms with short descriptions.

*"Murder/Suicide" - Shortened way of saying 'kill someone then kill yourself'. Often used humorously as an answer to any stated problem or situation, often with undertones insinuating that the poster is lacking the mental fortitude (i.e., an "idiot") to perform any real action in relation to their condition.

*"Molotov Everything" - A multi-purpose solution to just about any proposed problem, in reference to Molotov cocktails.

*"+1" - Giving a user one figurative unit of respect for a well-executed action or a good post. Respect is rarely given in units larger than one.

*"OMGWTFBBQ" - Acronym most commonly used as 'Oh My God What The Fuck Barbeque'. Also used as 'Oh My God What The Fuck Be Back Quick'. Originally meant as a humorous jab at the over-prevalence of abbreviations in e-communication, it is now used as a genuine term indicating surprise.

*"Huff Raid" - A common, malevolent recommendation in the "Better Living Through Chemistry" to perceived "lamers" or "12 year olds" who are seeking a cheap and easy high that they can legally acquire. A Totse user once claimed to use a paper bag to huff the likely lethal recommendation although the accuracy of the users claims is unknown.

:One member claims to distinctly remember the first time Raid was brought to the spotlight. He is quoted as saying,

::"A member (I can't recall the name; I think it started with a 'p' [EDITORS NOTE: The user is pennylane] ) made a thread in which he claimed that he told a kid that Raid would get him high. He said he got a call from the kid's mother that the kid had actually huffed Raid and was now in a coma. Everyone started saying stuff along the lines of 'OMG how fucking dumb do you have to be to actually huff Raid?!', while others flamed the poster 'You are a cruel fucker. I hope you are thrown in prison. etc.' And from that story spawned the term "Huff Raid".-http://experts.about.com/e/t/to/Totse.htm

[This message has been edited by jackketch (edited 09-14-2006).]

quote:Originally posted by Obiwanshinobi000:

But anyways, my girlfriend is fine and happy now, she says no more pain. How long should I wait before I do it agian though?

Surprise her while she's sleeping.

You don't have a girlfriend this is ridiculous you've never eaten her but you've buggered her bullshit. If you have a gf post a pic.

quote:Originally posted by Gus:

This isn't the forum for that, kid.

Seriously, keep that somewhere that desperate [pre]teenagers don't come for advice.

haha. Kid? Do you have a child fetish? lolol.

@ Jack, that's the story! Quite a funny one.

quote:Originally posted by RogueWarheart:

haha. Kid? Do you have a child fetish? lolol.

I keep talking to you, so I must.

quote:Originally posted by Gus:

I keep talking to you, so I must.



Hawt! Alright, cheers... I don't want to have grudges on the net. lol.

well since a doc appointment would be so embarrasing, make sure she keeps her asshole CLEAN and you hopefully can avoid infection. but if pain persists after a week, then you really dont have a choice :[

We had anal sex agian friday and can girls lube up thier asshole or somthing? Because usually for the first few minutes she feels really tight and then she gets really lube and loose and feels really good. But after she came(or claims to, fuck if I know) I pulled out and there was some crisco looking shit on it. It wasnt shit because it didnt smell bad. Anyone else know anything about this, as to what this yellowish stuff on my cock was?

quote:Originally posted by Obiwanshinobi000:

We had anal sex agian friday and can girls lube up thier asshole or somthing? Because usually for the first few minutes she feels really tight and then she gets really lube and loose and feels really good. But after she came(or claims to, fuck if I know) I pulled out and there was some crisco looking shit on it. It wasnt shit because it didnt smell bad. Anyone else know anything about this, as to what this yellowish stuff on my cock was?

Dude...You gotta use lube if you're pounding her ass. It's just a must.

Oh, and I've never heard of a female's ass lubricating naturally.

quote:Originally posted by RogueWarheart:

Dude...You gotta use lube if you're pounding her ass. It's just a must.

Oh, and I've never heard of a female's ass lubricating naturally.

well....Double-you-tee-eff. I dunno, but it felt good without lube. All I can say is that she came and I came.

God hates a sodomite.

quote:Originally posted by RogueWarheart:

Dude...You gotta use lube if you're pounding her ass. It's just a must.

Oh, and I've never heard of a female's ass lubricating naturally.

Actually there will be a small amount of lubrication, but not much. To the OP, use lube you schmuck. No wonder she bleed.

quote:Originally posted by Xiao Mei:

God hates an American (he had a row with the Founding Fathers and damned the whole race in perpetuity.)

Fixed

HAH!

What about you decadant british? And your "common law" marraiges and evil pornography?:P

quote:Originally posted by Xiao Mei:

HAH!

What about you decadant british? And your "common law" marraiges and evil pornography?:P

God is an Englishman, didn't you know??!

He's played by James Mason in this movie...

quote:Originally posted by spinnersean:

You don't have a girlfriend this is ridiculous you've never eaten her but you've buggered her bullshit. If you have a gf post a pic.

hes not lieing. im his gf

So how did it all happen?

quote:Originally posted by Xiao Mei:

So how did it all happen?

how did what happen?

I mean how did you guys get all the way to sodomy without dabbling in cunnulingus?

quote:Originally posted by GreatFlyingFlamingos:

how did what happen?

Your boyfriend buttfuck you. That's what happen.

quote:Originally posted by Xiao Mei:

I mean how did you guys get all the way to sodomy without dabbling in cunnulingus?

I dun know... i just never asked him too. his dick is so nice i didnt really care about his mouth. So i told him i wanted to try butt sex.

Marry me.

quote:Originally posted by UnforgiVen3:

Marry me.

o_o no thank you

hahaha you're so full of bs it's almost funny.

quote:Originally posted by YouLookFourteen:

hahaha you're so full of bs it's almost funny.

Yeah, I started to laugh... but then I vomited instead.