While browsing for articles on domestic discipline i came across this. Some of you probably know it but i found it an interesting read.

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HOW TO BE A GOOD WIFE Home Economics High School Text Book, 1954



Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal, on time. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal are part of the warm welcome needed.

Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so that you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your makeup, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people. Be a little gay and a little more interesting. His boring day may need a lift.

Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the home just before your husband arrives, gather up schoolbooks, toys, paper, etc. Then run a dust cloth over the tables. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift, too.

Prepare the children. Take a few minutes to wash the children's hands and faces (if they are small), comb their hair, and if necessary change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part.

Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer, dishwasher, or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet. Be happy to see him. Greet him with a warm smile and be glad he is home.

Some don'ts: Don't greet him with problems or complaints. Don't complain if he is late for dinner. Count this as minor compared with what he might have gone through that day. Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or suggest he lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him. Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soft, soothing and pleasant voice. Allow him to relax and unwind.

Listen to him. You may have a dozen things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first.

Make the evening his. Never complain if he does not take you out to dinner or to other places of entertainment. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure, his need to be home and relax.

The Goal: Try to make your home a place of peace and order where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.

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So i thought i'd rewrite it for the new century and get everyone to contribute.



When i come in the door then please please don't bombard me with information! And if you've got trouble with the kids then please remember that i am not the Official State Executioner (i really hate the whole 'just you wait til your father gets home' routine). If the kids need spanking it can wait til i' ve had a drink and a piss. If the cat has died i'll go bury it when i'm good and ready.

Remember please that i have been busting my balls all day at work for us , just as i remember at all times how you bust your ovaries here at home for us.

I'm perfectly capable of making myself my own coffee when i get home..truth be told i make better coffee than you do. But if you make me a coffee when you see my car pull in to the drive you spice it with love, or that's how it tastes to me.

I don't expect you to greet me looking like you've stepped out of the cover of Vogue and personally i find the dried baby puke on your shirt kinda sexy.

I'm happy to cook for us both, but please don't leave crap on my worktops or use my knives for cutting open packets of baby feed , ok?

My mother does not speak for me, neither do you or your parents. I married you not your mom...which is good cos i can't understand why your dad hasn't throttled her and buried her body in the yard.

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right add your thoughts people. Lets have a guide for today's young ladies!

[This message has been edited by jackketch (edited 09-11-2006).]

I thought this thread already had 3 replies..?

quote:Originally posted by reject:

I thought this thread already had 3 replies..?



It did but i redid it with my modest litt-terr-ree offerings.

If you want your husband to do something, make him think it was HIS idea, or he'll get all pissy. Then after he's been all like, "Hey! I should do ______" Praise him like crazy and perhaps even tearfully throw your arms around him and "accidently" rub up against his groin area.

This will make him think that you never nag and have the added bonus of confirming in his mind that you're the sexiest woman alive.

quote:Originally posted by Xiao Mei:

and "accidently" rub up against his groin area...

the added bonus of confirming in his mind that you're the sexiest woman alive.

You are so going to hell, you know that don't you?

Heh...Yeah.

But come on, you're a married man and I KNOW Mrs. Ketch has tried the "making it HIS idea" trick a time or two. And even if you saw what she was doing, the "Accidental penis rub" made you forget about it!

quote:Originally posted by Xiao Mei:

Heh...Yeah.

But come on, you're a married man and I KNOW Mrs. Ketch has tried the "making it HIS idea" trick a time or two. And even if you saw what she was doing, the "Accidental penis rub" made you forget about it!



You forget that Mrs.Ketch is a european. She doesn't need to 'accidently' rub anything... a simple 'do this for me and i'll suck your cock' works just fine!

[This message has been edited by jackketch (edited 09-11-2006).]

Ahhhh

See here in the USA, men have been warped by our puritainical roots, so we women here have to be more subtle. If I said, "Do this and I'll suck your cock" my husband would be all like, "OMG!! She's trying to manipulate me with sex!!" But if it seems accidental, he's too dizzy with lust to think about it.

Oral sex sounds like an excellent way to settle arguments. Maybe marriage isn't such a bad idea.

Marriage nowadays is more equal. Times have changed because women have changed - they don't put up with crap anymore and aren't afraid to admit their marriage isn't working.

quote:Originally posted by Marchesa:

Oral sex sounds like an excellent way to settle arguments. Maybe marriage isn't such a bad idea.

Marriage nowadays is more equal. Times have changed because women have changed - they don't put up with crap anymore and aren't afraid to admit their marriage isn't working.

Maybe now they just swallow a different crap? Crap propogated by the glossy women's mags about 'super modern women',with perfect figures, who run 'A' list companies, do hours of charity work and still find time to care for their kids ('sans' father of course) and write best selling novels?



[This message has been edited by jackketch (edited 09-11-2006).]

Man, it would have kicked ass to be a married man in the 50s.

quote:Originally posted by GlitterPunk112358:

Man, it would have kicked ass to be a married man in the 50s.

Slavery owns, on one end, eh?

They had dishwashers in the 50s?

My friends and I were having a conversation about this not too long ago.

At least in my area, women tend to try to have as much fun and fuck around as much as possible before they're 30. The attractive ones play guys so bad, so they don't have to spend their own money Then when they're old and feel their biological clocks ticking, they settle for the kind of man that they turned down when they were younger so he will take care of them. It's only the ugly/fat chicks that will try to care about someone other than themselves. It's like the feminist movement is going the total opposite way, with women being free, but totally fucked up now. This is how it seems in my area, at least. I won't try to speak for the places that I haven't been.

quote:Originally posted by jackketch:

Maybe now they just swallow a different crap? Crap propogated by the glossy women's mags about 'super modern women',with perfect figures, who run 'A' list companies, do hours of charity work and still find time to care for their kids ('sans' father of course) and write best selling novels?

Even after you transform yourself into 'super modern woman' you'll still feel crappy that you didn't get invited to the right parties, and that all the models have longer legs than you, i.e. you will never be good enough...

The Guide For Modern Young Wives, Cont.

When a drugged armed smack head breaks into our appartment and wants to kill you then it's NOT the right time to question wether or not it's his fault.

Of course you are right , my dear , that he is a victim of an uncaring society , abused by his parents and kept in servitude by government hand outs.

BUT I DON'T CARE! My job is to keep you ALIVE. And if that means hurting him then i'm sorry and yes i probably am a reactionary evolutionary throwback who is out of touch with his emotions.

Another thing I've discovered during my years of marraige is that men always want to do everything...bigger than their wives. Like they want to be stronger and faster and eat more and they want us to talk about it. They also want to feel like they're "conquering" us, so it's good to make them feel like they're "winning" sometimes.:P

Like one example is that my husband will want to have sex and I'll be all like, "But I can't...I have so much laundry to fold and dinner to cook..." And then he'll keep insisting and finally I give in and it seems like I was just overpowered by my attraction for him.:P

Remind me that no matter how much I love a woman, not to ever, EVER, think about marrying her...even if it means she'll leave me.

quote:Originally posted by jackketch:

Maybe now they just swallow a different crap? Crap propogated by the glossy women's mags about 'super modern women',with perfect figures, who run 'A' list companies, do hours of charity work and still find time to care for their kids ('sans' father of course) and write best selling novels?





quoted for truth!

i don't mind doing any or all of the things the 50s thingy said. i would, however, mind if it was expected of me. and i would want my man to secretly have a little agenda of his own to try to make me happy, too.



[This message has been edited by lauren7249 (edited 09-11-2006).]

Having lived with a few girls, unmarried, I've learnt a couple of things...

First, lazy artist whores stay lazy artist whores. There is no changing them. Give it up. For good. Goes for ALL GENDERS.

Don't expect anything unless you could be expected of the same thing. I can cook, clean, sew, do laundry, repair wounds, fix computers, etc etc... And I wouldn't expect anything less of someone who knew the same things to do them as needed.

Don't leave dishes in the sink unless you plan on doing them before the night is over. Dirty dishes piss people off.

A grab of the ass, and a slap can actually get you in more trouble than you might think, although entirely in the wrong direction if you know what I mean.

When you give someone a present don't expect anything back. Give, and you shall recieve, but when the time is right.

More to come later as I'm being watched right now...

quote:Originally posted by Gus:

Having lived with a few girls, unmarried, I've learnt a couple of things...

First, lazy artist whores stay lazy artist whores. There is no changing them. Give it up. For good. Goes for ALL GENDERS.

Don't expect anything unless you could be expected of the same thing. I can cook, clean, sew, do laundry, repair wounds, fix computers, etc etc... And I wouldn't expect anything less of someone who knew the same things to do them as needed.

Don't leave dishes in the sink unless you plan on doing them before the night is over. Dirty dishes piss people off.

A grab of the ass, and a slap can actually get you in more trouble than you might think, although entirely in the wrong direction if you know what I mean.

When you give someone a present don't expect anything back. Give, and you shall recieve, but when the time is right.

More to come later as I'm being watched right now...

Agreed, untidiness makes people feel uncomfortable. I love tidy men, I don't know why but I think they are so cute. And you're right, we should expect the same things of each other regarding household chores.

http://gallery.pcapex.com/data/500/good_housekeeping1955.jpg

quote:Originally posted by Marchesa:

Agreed, untidiness makes people feel uncomfortable. I love tidy men, I don't know why but I think they are so cute. And you're right, we should expect the same things of each other regarding household chores.

Yeah, well, just general upkeep, really...

~~~

And if you aren't working today, and you aren't hung over or something get the fuck off your lazy ass and do something interesting. Clean something that we've been meaning to clean, or make something cool on the computer. Design a new drink that we can try (wait for me dammit) or start reading one of my books.

And if I talk in my sleep, don't try and wake me up and ask what I'm saying. I'm just trying to tell the giant bunny rabbit to stop trying to eat my head, that's all. Nothing of importance. Oh, and if I elbow you in my sleep, make sure to rub it in as I'll kiss your toes and you know it.

Everything is about me, but I try and humor you and let things be about you, sometimes. Part of being human love. Get used to it, please.

My computer is my mistress. My motorcycle is my slave. You're the only human, though, I want to wake up next to after a long night of fucking. Trust me on this, I've looked, and the rest of those girls suck. But don't you DARE try and get between a man's computer/TV/motorcycle/car/porn, and him. That's like the first rule of manhood handling, really.

If all else fails, grab my dick, kiss me, and rub yourself against me. If I'm not putty (extremely erect putty that is) in your hands after that, you can be sure I've gone gay. Make sure to use some lube to check, and start with two fingers.

Taking pictures of me in very bad poses and then sharing them with all your friends is fair play, especially as how I don't think it's wrong if you're topless when I do it to you as how I was topless myself. Videos up the betting.

When I bring home something shiny, electronic, and most likely MINE don't come over, grab it, and start trying to use it for yourself. MY NEW TOY! Go get a job, as we don't have any kids, and buy your own! I might let you use it AFTER I get it set up.

Oh, and I want kids. But I don't want them right now. Maybe when I'm older, and can accept that I'm never going to mature. And then, you'd better not be dead, or I'll be sad. You were the best, and I hate settling for second-best.

Oh, and always make sure to watch a movie or two with me, so we can cuddle/snuggle like before we were married. And maybe even try a little game of baseball.

quote:Originally posted by Lord Sorpington:

http ://gallery .pcapex.com/data/500/good_housekeeping1955.jpg (http: //gallery. pcapex.com /data/500/ good_house keeping195 5.jpg)

Okay, that version was just depressing. The 50's marriage gave the men all the power and, boy, did they abuse it. No wonder everyone got divorced.

Gus, you sound like an ideal husband...

Do you really call it baseball?

If i say something is dangerous then i do have reasons. Maybe i will on occaision forget to fully, clearly and lovingly explain my reasons to you. Should this happen then please just accept that there is indeed an outside possibilty that i might be right and that the salient word here is 'dangerous'....as in the phrase 'Please do not cut the cat's throat over a pair of your dirty knickers while reciting the the invocation "Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn. Iä! Shub-Niggurath! Narrathoth! Narrathoth! Narrathoth! It is DANGEROUS and will result in the destruction of life as we know it"

And when (not if!) you decide to find out if it is a really dangerous as i said it was then please have the good grace NOT to blame the resulting apocalypse on me or say something like 'but you should have warned me , it's your fault!!'

The above applies to all things like bared electrical wires, sharp objects and combustable substances...and getting between me and my coffee



[This message has been edited by jackketch (edited 09-12-2006).]

That is one of the few things that really BUGS me about my husband...He is so messy and he never cleans anything! The only time he does is on his days off he will do the after dinner dishes. I wouldn't mind so much, except he makes so many messes! Like he drops his clothes all over the floor and he tracks dirt all over the place and he leaves dishes in the livingroom. I love him, but damn do I wish he could at least clean up after HIMSELF.

Xiao Mei, you need to make him work for those crotch rubs!

quote:Originally posted by Marchesa:

Gus, you sound like an ideal husband...

Do you really call it baseball?

Oh, you never heard those silly "first base" "second base" bullshit? You know, that all the kids get caught up in? It was sort of a joke, but I'm sure that we'd be fore playing until we could take it anymore, the movie forgotten, as my wife will be as easy to turn on as me (little switch on my ears, my neck, and my dick for reference).

~~~

Oh, but of course, you can't be afraid to burp and fart in front of me, because I'm sure to do it in front of you.

And be careful when it comes to asking me to do something as I very well might do it so well you'll be left speechless. Being a man, a blowjob always solves the open mouth. Expect the same in return for a job well done, and we've got a great understanding.

Don't ask me stupid questions if you don't expect me to give you a stupid response. If I'm alright after something heavy falls on me is certain to make me say "Oh, fine, dandy, really!" with that type of painful looking grin that very well means I'm being an ass.

Don't be afraid to hit me back. A playful slap on my ass is always fair turn about. But if you think you can get away with hitting me, you'll have another thing coming. Mainly the floor as I sweep your legs out and pin you, and find out why you're attacking me.

Oh, and on the subject of being pinned, it's fucking hot watching your girl pin you down and fuck you. Just throwing that out.

Yeah, that's about it for this post... Shame I'm only twenty or I could be pulling off wisdom how Jack does... With a straw and a shot of brandy.

EDiT:

Oh, I forget things easily. That's why I have a cell phone. Leave me a voice mail, because not only will that remind me to pick up something vital to your survival (that I'd never miss until I got scurvy), but I also get to hear your lovely voice and it really picks my day up.

If I forget your birthday, and you care so much about it, then maybe you should change it to my birthday. Even I can't forget December 12th, no matter how hard I try.

Our anniversary shall be on New Years Eve, or, failing that the Fourth of July because very few other times have so many fireworks. Think of it as a party in our honor every year, and I'll try and remember (easy dates, easy remembering).

Oh, and I'll try and get you shiny things of your own, having some sort of stones in them but I make no promises as I'm still making nothing at work. If I can only afford to give you a box with a little note saying you can use this five times to get me to do whatever you want within reason, don't think any less of me. We'll strike our oil someday, but for right now we've gotta burn it for another year.

Please don't ask why I love motorcycles/cars/computers/knives/guns/sports/anything that you don't understand unless you want to understand it. I'll do the same if I ever see you doing something, as there are some things that people aren't meant to understand about each other.

Oh, and if you really do want to understand something I enjoy a lot, and you do ask me, and I tell you that I'll talk to you about it later I will. I'm just in the middle of something important I'm sure. Make sure to come up to me and use the pouty face, as that always melts my heart and makes me feel sad.

Oh, and no I don't watch sports of the TV. The TV is a waste of my time when I could be out playing sports, reading a good book, learning and reading online, or best of all enjoying your company. The TV is for movies, silly games, and when there is something on that is worth watching. Otherwise it's background noise and I tune it out.

If I say "I love you" I mean it. No matter how I say it. I don't speak those words without meaning, as they're very strong words. But, I do love a lot of people, so I'm not afraid to show it. If you stab me, I cry. If you put on music, I shall dance with you. If that makes me less of a man, for having emotions, then get used to it.

[This message has been edited by Gus (edited 09-12-2006).]

Gus is dead on.

Thanks, Bushy. I just wish that Gus would take the time and pretty himself up, and go attract a girl that'd appreciate him for all that he is.

Hitting the gym doesn't mean that I think your fat, but it might mean that I'm afraid to go alone. Protect me.

And if you ever want, I'll teach you all you'll ever need to know about defending yourself. But, though, when you're in my arms you'll never need to worry (unless I get shot or something, then it'd be nice if you knew).

A gun is to be treated as loaded at all times. Playing with my gun will end up in, if it isn't loaded, it becoming loaded soon enough. Playing with the ammo boxes is a bad idea unless you can be gentle as they're sensitive to rough movements. If my gun misfires, don't worry because it's not a single-shot. Just wait for me to reload, and it's all yours again. The first part of this pertains to real guns, too, in case you didn't get it. But never play with guns. Guns are tools, and they are dangerous.

Never play with cars, either, as they're more dangerous than guns in the wrong hands. And make sure to yell at me when I totally don't follow this, as I'm sure I won't.

Sleeping on the couch is not an option. If YOU don't want to talk to me, you can go sleep on that couch. Otherwise, cowgirl up and get over it. In the time you've went to the bathroom mad, I already have and am trying to think of a way of saying "I'm sorry for being stupid, love me!". Which I might never say, as I'm a stupid guy. Can't win them all.

When we do have children our first born, if he's a boy, shall be named after me. I'm a fourth, so he'll be a fifth. Deal with it, and if you already have a bunch of boy names you already like go ahead and we'll have another. But see if little Tommy doesn't make you rethink that.

Oh, and the best cure for a headache is sex. Lots of sex. Same thing with most any pain, including menstrual (although cuddling is sometimes better if you're sore down there). Don't be afraid to say "no" to me, but I know that after we start you will wonder why you didn't want to in the first place.

If I do something so completely confusing that you have no idea what, exactly, I even meant... Don't ask me. I swear I'll explain after the matter is over, as it's most likely getting us out of some trouble I got us into. Oh, and if it gets really bad, hold my hand.

When you hold my hand, don't just touch it, and just forget about it. HOLD MY HAND DAMN IT. Make me KNOW that you're there, my hand is yours, your hand is mine, and that we're gonna be stuck like this until after I kiss you good and proper. A light peck on your cheek or forehead might just get one of my fingers broken.

When I cook dinner, don't be afraid to try and help me. You have to eat this slop, too, and unless you don't mind steak and potatoes it isn't going to be perfect. Perfection is for those insane people that seem to think they're gonna live forever.

Making the bed is for those same people. Unless you expect company, don't worry about it too much. Oh, and no silly pretend pillows, and blankets that don't do anything. We aren't here to show off our bed, we're here to sleep in it and make it messy. Pulling the blankets up and pretending I made it is as far as I need to go usually.

Don't remarry if someone says I die until after you're sure. If I'm stuck on some island, somewhere, trying to survive in the cold nights and hot days you're the only thing on my mind keeping me alive. Give me at least a year to get rescued before you give up on me. Oh, and don't let our kids call the new guy "daddy". I'll cry tears of liquid sadness on you from my little house in the sky.

EDiT: Oh, Jack, tell me if you want me to stop... Otherwise I might just keep going on and on and on. ;p

[This message has been edited by Gus (edited 09-12-2006).]

I'm gonna have to disagree on the headache cure part. I get lots of headaches and sex would only make them worse. And sex for cramps?? Are you insane??? All I can say is, imagine you have an awful pain in your lower belly and then something huge and hard starts stabbing into it.

Oral sex on the other hand does WONDERS for cramps...Just as an FYI.

I always lack expectations and try to avoid routine in day to day life. Makes life more interesting.

I can never understand when people get upset because someone didn't do something for them. You aren't entitled to be served by anyone. If someone wants to do something nice for you, it's completely up to them. If they don't want to do something, then there is nothing wrong with that. If something gets broken, then it needs fixing; Who cares how or why it was broken. Nobody should live by a guide, unless it's one of their own making.

I don't know many people that share this way of thinking.

[This message has been edited by Euda (edited 09-12-2006).]

quote:Originally posted by Xiao Mei:

I'm gonna have to disagree on the headache cure part. I get lots of headaches and sex would only make them worse. And sex for cramps?? Are you insane??? All I can say is, imagine you have an awful pain in your lower belly and then something huge and hard starts stabbing into it.

Oral sex on the other hand does WONDERS for cramps...Just as an FYI.

Ah, well, sex has always worked on the girls I've known... I'd offer to experiment with you, but I have a feeling your husband wouldn't enjoy that.

But yeah, oral sex withs wonders on everything I've noticed. Learn to love the 69 position, as it's really a VERY GOOD position as long as you both fit together well enough.

Yeah...He'd kill you for even LOOKING at me.

And sometimes we do 69, but if I have cramps I want it to be all about me.

quote:Originally posted by Xiao Mei:

Yeah...He'd kill you for even LOOKING at me.

And sometimes we do 69, but if I have cramps I want it to be all about me.

Aww... Would you kill me for lookin' at him?

Well, it's alright, though, as when you have cramps it should be all about you!

All about leaving you alone so you don't throw something at me...

Oh, sorry, just remembering my mother's PMSing... (and no, I'm not THAT GOOD A SON, sorry).

He's prettier than me, so you'd probably enjoy looking at him a lot more! He's blessed with thick, curly black hair and big, dark eyes with long lashes.

quote:Originally posted by Xiao Mei:

He's prettier than me, so you'd probably enjoy looking at him a lot more! He's blessed with thick, curly black hair and big, dark eyes with long lashes.

Hey now, I'm a girl's man, but I don't mind a bit of playing around, just so long as no one expect anything too much...

Guess that makes me normal. Yay!

Oh, wait, normal is bad... Boo!

Well, someone said I was an ideal husband... That makes me happy... I'd keep up with those posts but I've got issues with my pet...