OK, so this summer was the best I've ever had. I met a girl at work, and from the very start our chemistry just clicked. From the first day, we both liked each other. We hung out the next day, and went on our first date within a week or a bit more, which is when we had our first kiss. Then within a month, we've taken each others virginity.

Then I figure we're a couple, or at least dating, and she tells me that she doesn't want to be together or be doing anything like that because she's leaving to college in a little less than two months and she doesn't want to get attached to anything. That was a little less than two months ago. But she changes her mind after we hung out a few more times, and after a few days or so we're calling ourselves a couple.

I told her not to worry about the attachment thing. Not to worry, just enjoy what you can while you can is what I told her. Well obviously it came to bite both of us in the ass. After both of our eyes spill out tears her last night a few nights ago, we've only talked once since her flight and we are nearly at the opposite ends of the country, Wisconsin and California.

So it's hard for both of us. From the first kiss to the day she left, we were with each other every night and it's tough to find something to do... I find myself doing anything to fill up my time. We were skeptical towards the end as far as what we were going to do with our relationship. Long distance, break it off, things in between that, you know. We eventually decided on sort of breaking it off, or not holding each other down as we're both about to start our Freshmen year in college. But we're not going to be looking to date, school and work is priority. We've said that until someone proves to be able to make either of us happier or more amazing to each other, then we're still pretty much waiting until the next time we see each other. So in a way, we're still pretty much together.

So I'm just wondering, what would you all do? What do you think we should do or what should I tell her? We made that decision, but I could tell that it wasn't really finalized. I want to be with her, but I did lean towards the being single type thing that we decided on. But I cant be away from her, it's pathetic. I either need to be talking to her a lot, and seeing her once in a while and be in a long distance thing, or I need to be single and just date as much as I can to get the feeling away... it's just unbearable. I'm not sure if that's what I want. So, what do you all think I should do? Or should have done, or what should I tell her? I'll pitch it at her, since I said we are still kind of unsure. I would appreciate it if you helped me out. Thanks, all.

Long distance relationships are a BAD idea.

P.S i didnt read the whole thing, too long.

Well just get on with your life. Don't actively look for anyone else, but if you happen to meet someone who you are attracted to and makes you feel the same way... well then you'd know what to do if that happens.

Don't WORRY about it though. What happens, happens.

quote:Originally posted by Wog:

Long distance relationships are a BAD idea.

Well, why?

I don't see why they couldn't make it work.

quote:Originally posted by Duck In Fog:

Well, why?

I don't see why they couldn't make it work.



Becuase all women are whores who will fuck anything with a cock if they think they're parasatic little brats will get good dna ( an effort to combat her on genetic inferiority) or the guy has a big wallet so he can shower her with presents in an effort to validate her, and hence reconsile the worhtless sluty feeling she was born with. If ever she meets a man thats too thick to run, and has a decent income, she will make every effort to sink her claws in, and then start popping out the babies.

Thats why

quote:Originally posted by SSY:



Becuase all women are whores who will fuck anything with a cock if they think they're parasatic little brats will get good dna ( an effort to combat her on genetic inferiority) or the guy has a big wallet so he can shower her with presents in an effort to validate her, and hence reconsile the worhtless sluty feeling she was born with. If ever she meets a man thats too thick to run, and has a decent income, she will make every effort to sink her claws in, and then start popping out the babies.

Thats why

Just...no. Not all women are like that.

Well the feeling I get is I either want to make flights to see eachother like once a month which she said she would do and talk on the phone everyday, or be totally done and dating other people... I just cant help getting so mad at the thought of her being with someone else or just not being with her. I've just been trying to fill my time and not think about it, but it gets to me know matter what. I'm also afraid of losing what we had... anybody else been in the same type of situation?

I don't know, it's tough to think about it. Thanks to all who replied anyway.

[This message has been edited by Eleven and she was gone (edited 09-11-2006).]

Don't expect it to be exclusive. Other than that, anything goes. It's up to you whether you want to play around or not. Just please, please don't be devestated if she plays around on you.

Oddly enough, I myself am in the exact same situation. We're both cross country (me in alberta, she in ontario) and I know how you feel. We agreed on putting the relationship on a school hiatus and then picking up where we left off next summer. It's bunk tho, cuz all the women Ive met in college pale in comparison, and Im still hung up on her. Ahhh, well, c'est lavie I figure. I subscribe to the thought that if it's meant to be, it'll be.

So you're free to date other people? Same in my situation, as I've never met anyone that came close to her... we just naturally click.

Usually long distance relationships die painfully.

I know this from experience.

Thank you

I am in the exact same situation. Basically we were going to break it off and see what happens whenever she was back in town but it just felt too fucked up to end it like that. So we decided to give the long distance thing a try since she would be back for Thanksgiving for a week, and about a month for Christmas. So far it has been fine for now, and it can work if you both want it to work, but either way it will be hard. I'd really like to hear from someone who has done it before though.

Let me cast some hope here...

I did it. I had a long distance relationship for two and a half years, and we made it work. I had a similar story you did: I met a girl near the end of my senior year in high school, and we fell head over heels for each other. She was going to one college and I was going to another, though, and they were several hundred miles apart. Granted, this is not quite as bad as your situation (Wisconsin to California), but it is the same principle.

We talked on the phone. A lot. I don't just mean daily, I mean several times per day. We made a commitment to see each other at least once per month, often twice. We would alternate visiting: she would come to see me once, then I would go to see her the next time, usually just for a weekend. We were from the same hometown, so we also got to see each other on breaks from school. After 2 and a half years, she transferred to a school close to me, and we moved in together. We're still living together, and still very much in love.

It can be done, but it isn't easy. You both MUST be in it. All the way. If one of you is not REALLY committed to the relationship, it will end painfully for both of you as one of you starts to drift away in response to new people and new situations. If you're not sure, you should probably just end it right now. In your heart, you already know if it could work or if it couldn't; just be honest with yourself, and go from there.



Entheogenic

Well, she's had a bunch of outside influences on her. She knows a lot of people that were also in the same type of situations, and most of them except one were going to call it quits and just be friends at least until they saw eachother again. Even one of her best friends, who had been dating a guy for five years decided to end the relationship until they can see eachother again. So, this is one reason I think we're having trouble. She's commited to this, this being single but not worrying about dating and concentrating on school/work, and having fun because college is supposedly 'the time of your life', and having the freedome to date but pretty much waiting until the next time we see eachother if no one better comes along for either of us.

I really know it's there. I just do. But based on the influences and the advice she's gotten, she thinks that what I just explained is the best way to go. This is extremely hard, I can hardly gather my thoughts. What do you all think about this cliche type 'college is supposed to be the time of our lives'? I don't like it. I hate it.

If it's so special one of you would move to be with the other. It's not like university isn't something you can't do later in life.

It obviously isn't worth it for one/both of you, so just end it now.

Well, we've talked about that. She's tried to get me to move over there. She's looked at the transfer requirements and everything, but my grades were terrible in high school and I wouldn't be able to do it until next year at the earliest. I tried to convince her to stay, but her tuition was paid for already through financial aid and loans and parents. But heck, maybe this long distance thing goes well even if we're not officially together and we'll both be able to transfer somewhere else and do what Entheo did.



[This message has been edited by Eleven and she was gone (edited 09-17-2006).]

quote:Originally posted by Eleven and she was gone:

Well, we've talked about that. She's tried to get me to move over there. She's looked at the transfer requirements and everything, but my grades were terrible in high school and I wouldn't be able to do it until next year at the earliest. I tried to convince her to stay, but her tuition was paid for already through financial aid and loans and parents. But heck, maybe this long distance thing goes well even if we're not officially together and we'll both be able to transfer somewhere else and do what Entheo did.



So go over there, get a job, save money, be with her? You're young, what's the rush to start your career/uni? you won't have as much freedom then.

I could. I really could. She wanted me to do that. But Wisconsin? That's a huge change from small town, CA, when I've hardly been to TJ and Nevada, to Wisconsin all by myself. Not only the change, but uhh, boring! Yes, she would probably make it great and if we're in love it would be fine... but that's still a huge decision to make. But one I never really considered even when it was brought up.

[This message has been edited by Eleven and she was gone (edited 09-17-2006).]

Look at it this way, if it's that boring, leave, and you'll at least have a hell of alot more life experience, learn alot from it, and have some stories to tell.

EDIT: I am pretty transient though. I'm moving in october, which means that will be the sixth time in 12 months. But hey I'm 18 and this is about the only time in my life (between living with parents and having a career) when I can do shit like this.

[This message has been edited by rabbitweed (edited 09-17-2006).]

True. Good luck with that, btw. Why so much moving? Ehh...

You know a move over there is possible. But time will tell, really. I guess for right now I'm talking and trying to figure things out before we come to a resolution.

let's see, reasons I've moved/will be moving...being arrested, going to uni, being closer to a girl, being sick of a place, people not wanting me there anymore...

but first decide if she's really worth it.

Oh so you've done something similar. That's helpful. What happened with you? Similar situation?