Ok well I am turning 18 on friday and I have never been on a date with a girl or had a girlfriend, its not that I am fat/ugly but I am horribly insecure and I have no clue how I am supposed to go about getting a girl, there have definitly been times when a girl has liked me but I just dont know what to do and they soon lose intrest. I find myself thinking about suicide a few times a day because I am sure I am going to die alone anyway. I dont really expect anything more then flames from this but I just had to post and get it off my chest.

(I will resist the urge to request pics.)

It's ok. Have you ever asked someone out? It's the only way to get a date if you're a guy, really. I mean, girls do ask guys out, but usually not unless they're really out there and on the market.

And if you're not "fat or ugly" then what reason do you have to be insecure? Is it the knowledge of your insecurity?

[This message has been edited by lauren7249 (edited 09-11-2006).]

http://tinyurl.com/juebt theres me for the record, im no brad pit but im no monster either. I have never even asked a girl out, I dont know why I am so insecure but its prolly because I am 18 and have 0 experience with girls.



[This message has been edited by roll2daspot (edited 09-11-2006).]

Well, at least you look better than me. I've not hada girlfriend and I'm almost 19.

Whats your background? School, college? Car, fat disgusting slob that lives with his parents and masturbates to DBZ hentai?

quote:Originally posted by roll2daspot:

theres me for the record. I have never even asked a girl out, I dont know why I am so insecure but its prolly because I am 18 and have 0 experience with girls.



i know, i know. a lot of people are going to recommend drugs or alcohol, i predict. i wouldn't listen to them, though a bit of alcohol in the right setting can act as a "social lubricant."

anyway, is there a girl you're interested in? are you shy talking to girls? are you shy in general?

[This message has been edited by jackketch (edited 09-11-2006).]

dude, i know a guy in a situation similar to yours. he went off to college and now has a smokin' hot babe and they love each other. If you can hold off, college chicks love guys like you. dont kill yourself. please. or just try and get over your insecurities. you will eventually.

quote:Originally posted by lauren7249:



i know, i know. a lot of people are going to recommend drugs or alcohol, i predict. i wouldn't listen to them, though a bit of alcohol in the right setting can act as a "social lubricant."

anyway, is there a girl you're interested in? are you shy talking to girls? are you shy in general?

Theres definitly a girl I am intrested in and I am pretty sure she likes me atleast a little, but whenever I am around her, or any girl for that matter I got nothing to say, its just akward and I dont know what to talk about.

omg its ok ull gro ^ soon enuf

quote:Originally posted by British Kid:

dude, i know a guy in a situation similar to yours. he went off to college and now has a smokin' hot babe and they love each other. If you can hold off, college chicks love guys like you. dont kill yourself. please. or just try and get over your insecurities. you will eventually.

Sounds great but im not going to collage, and I hardly ever get out, after highschool I imagine my contact with females will drop like 95%

You look pretty fruity anyway man. Props for posting a pic tho.

quote:Originally posted by roll2daspot:

Sounds great but im not going to collage, and I hardly ever get out, after highschool I imagine my contact with females will drop like 95%

You just have to make an effort. I used to be super shy/awkward around guys (actually around anyone) and I got over it by putting myself in situations where I had to come out of my shell. It's hard, but the more you do it, the easier it gets.

Have you thought about joining an internet dating site? That way you can get to know the girl over MSN first.

You need to work on your confidence man. Just ask the girl you like out, forget about everything else, forget about the what if's, just fucking ask her out.

Or if you're like me and don't do the whole "date" thing, then just hang out with girls and when the time is right make a move to turn relationship physical.

if you aim to make a fool of yourself, there is nothing you can possibly lose.

quote:Originally posted by Sick_Boy:

I got over it by putting myself in situations where I had to come out of my shell.

This is made much easier when drunk. I used to be incredibly shy around girls, now I can easily carry a conversation, drunk or otherwise.

Still no girlfriend though

wow, im in the EXACT same situation as you !!

except im fat, ugly, and asian.

quote:Originally posted by WannaFuckWannaSex0r:

wow, im in the EXACT same situation as you !!

except im fat, ugly, and asian.



asian should not be part of that. asian is an asset.

quote:Originally posted by lauren7249:

"social lubricant."

Haha, I'm going to use that from now on.

Don't feel bad, I'm pretty much in the same boat you are. I know alot of other guys have the same problem but wont admit it IRL. I wouldent. All in good time, until then don't focus on chicks. Focus on making money and school. Getting into shape dosent hurt also. The chicks will come later on.

quote:Originally posted by SloppyJo:

Don't feel bad, I'm pretty much in the same boat you are. I know alot of other guys have the same problem but wont admit it IRL. I wouldent. All in good time, until then don't focus on chicks. Focus on making money and school. Getting into shape dosent hurt also. The chicks will come later on.

Yeah I started boxing a few weeks ago in hope that I can gain some confidence through being in better shape. I honestly thought I was one of the only people to be this unexperienced with girls, it kinda makes me feel better that im not the only loser (no offence man) that cant get a girlfriend.

quote:Originally posted by roll2daspot:

Originally posted by SloppyJo:

Don't feel bad, I'm pretty much in the same boat you are. I know alot of other guys have the same problem but wont admit it IRL. I wouldent. All in good time, until then don't focus on chicks. Focus on making money and school. Getting into shape dosent hurt also. The chicks will come later on.

Yeah I started boxing a few weeks ago in hope that I can gain some confidence through being in better shape. I honestly thought I was one of the only people to be this unexperienced with girls, it kinda makes me feel better that im not the only loser (no offence man) that cant get a girlfriend.



i don't think you're a loser. and why the hell aren't you going to college??

quote:Originally posted by lauren7249:

i don't think you're a loser. and why the hell aren't you going to college??

Indeed.

Also if it helps I was the same way until recently(I'm 20 now). Now I don't have a problem at all, part of it is because I'm not really pursuing anything but just rolling with the punches and taking everything as it comes.

EDIT: Also I have never been on a "proper" "date" either. I have had a girlfriend before though.

[This message has been edited by Cloaked Dagger (edited 09-11-2006).]

quote:Originally posted by Sick_Boy:

You just have to make an effort. I used to be super shy/awkward around guys (actually around anyone) and I got over it by putting myself in situations where I had to come out of my shell. It's hard, but the more you do it, the easier it gets.

Have you thought about joining an internet dating site? That way you can get to know the girl over MSN first.

hay there, can you give me some examples of the kinds of situations which you put yourself into? I have similar problems atm. Im a guy btw.

Hey. I think before you become sucessful with women, you need the foundation of being a social friendly person.

I was kinda like you, I went to an all boys school for 5 years which fucked up my life. And for the next 4 months I really went to work on my inner self.

It was pretty hard, like first I had to be comfortable with eye contact. So I got that handled, and can hold eye contact easily. Then I would give people like a head nod, I got that handled and I got some good responses from people, like they'd smile back.

Then I'd start talking to people, like at my driving lessons I talk to the other students and all the instructors.

Then I felt like I can start talking to anyone, so at ASDA, for example. The people are paid to be nice, so damn, just ask them which cheese is better, or something it doesn't matter.

Then finally I could talk to girls I found attractive, and joke around with them, learning some body language and worked on voice projection and so fourth, for example hummmmming for 30 seconds smoothens and deepens your voice, so I felt better that my voice was projected better.

Yeah, I am still working on my self esteem, even though it's high now, just until it comes at a natural level.

quote:Originally posted by roll2daspot:

http://tinyurl.com/juebt theres me for the record, im no brad pit but im no monster either.

I'd hit that.

Don't worry, shit will sort itself out eventually.

Your post could be applied to me exactly, except I don't look like I'm lusting for some guys johnson. Sorry.

Do you attend U of W by any chance?

If you want to disregard all the good ideas everyone else has given you and try a different approach:

Cut your hair short, dye it and you eyebrows blonde. Trim up other hair.

Buy a gram of coke.

Rent a car if your car sucks.

Change your name to Mace Harrison.

Watch cruel intentions.

Buy Jovan Ginseng Cologne.

Buy a pair of kakis, a red, short sleeve silk shirt and a white, medium one from footlocker.

Watch Covenant

Shower then put on boxers and short socks, then Cologne (on the skin), then all the above clothes.

Drive to an arcade people frequent on a Friday night, drive at least 50 miles to do this, you’ll have no reputation.

Do coke, talk to girls – DON’T TELL ANYONE YOUR DOING COKE!!!

Invite a girl to go see Covenant, if she turns you down, just invite another. Be very specific about the movie and that you’re seeing it right now.

After the movie, feed her.

Don’t worry about ever seeing her again, but if you are going to, kill anyone who refuses to refer to you as Mace Harrison.

quote:Originally posted by ArgonPlasma2000:



Whats your background? School, college? Car, fat disgusting slob that lives with his parents and masturbates to DBZ hentai?

Guilty.

Dude, be patient with yourself. Girls aren't all that great man, not in general. You gotta be lucky, and take your chances when they come. Don't worry about being crap with girls, cos everyone's gotta learn at some point. Girls are just one part of life, one part of many, and it shouldn't be the be-all-end-all of your life.

Regardless of all that, the best thing you can do for yourself is to make a move on this girl you like, who you know likes you back!!! You don't have to say anything, maybe just give her a letter. Tell her you're shy, but you like her. Then the ball is in her court, hey, and you tried, and made a step up!

Anyway girls are pretty easy once you get the hang of it, if you decide to wait and not do that. It's just like learning how to use chopsticks: it just sorta snaps on ya, and suddenly you can do it. You're not ready for that instinctual thing yet, but you're young mate. All this talk about 'oh, i had sex at 15' is just piss in the wind. It's completely irrelivent to anyone and everyone.

It's your life. You shouldn't feel pressured into doing what others think is 'cool'.

PS: girls are generally fucked up in the head.

don't worry too much about it, and don't pressure yourself too much. everyone has his own speed at these things, and you never know what will happen later in your life.

confidence is the main thing you really have to work on. it's the main thing that's attractive. try reading some david deangelo, he writes some interesting things on dating.

Could you take a less...gay...picture?

quote:Originally posted by lauren7249:

if you aim to make a fool of yourself, there is nothing you can possibly lose.

An arm?

Man I am 5'11" and 300 lbs. and I still get phone numbers from girls I ain't even talked to before. Your problem is that you feel like you are a lose cause. You are fine the way you are so if it doesn't work out it's not your fault it happens.