My real life friends/boyfriend know about Totse so I haven't wanted to post this... and I swear this is the last of my annoying threads for a bit.

But anyway. A few days ago my boyfriend mentioned that he's going to his friend's homecoming, and "getting her really fucked up" before they go. I'm kind of upset about it, because homecoming is supposed to be like a date, right? Even when you go in groups, you still have your date... and there will be alcohol involved.

I haven't talked to him about it because I don't really know how to approach it. I think it was planned before we started going out, or at least that's the impression I got.

I don't want to be the annoying, jealous girlfriend. But I am jealous, and I'm kind of mad about it. I want to talk to him about it without seeming stupid and insecure and petty... ugh. I don't want to stop him from going, because if he wants to go, that's fine... I'm just not feeling very comfortable about it.

Am I justified in feeling jealous/mad? Or am I overreacting? He's not the type to cheat or anything, but still, ughhh. What should I doooo?

Your cautiousness isnt obsurd. I think if you talked to him and got his reassurance that things wont be out of hand, you would feel better.

I know you dont want to seem like the petty jealous girlfriend, but if its to ensure hes going to be smart and safe about it, then it seems its a necessity.

You said your not worried about him being unfaithful, so hopefully thats not a real issue. But sometimes the past is hard to let go of. Remind yourself that hes a good guy, and try to ease your troubled mind.

Go get drunk with him! Ahh yes...Alcoholism, the foundation of any true relationship.

Anyone would feel jealousy in such a situation. So, you're perfectly normal by feeling this way.

Obviously you need to talk to him and get him to clarify that he is just going as scrictly-friends and that nothing will happen. Just ask him about his "friend" and he should let you know that they are long-time friends and there is nothing there that is romantic.

About you feeling like this, you are just going to have to tell yourself to trust him and that nothing will ever happen that will jeopardize the relationship.

quote:Originally posted by firekitty751:

My real life friends/boyfriend know about Totse so I haven't wanted to post this... and I swear this is the last of my annoying threads for a bit.

But anyway. A few days ago my boyfriend mentioned that he's going to his friend's homecoming, and "getting her really fucked up" before they go. I'm kind of upset about it, because homecoming is supposed to be like a date, right? Even when you go in groups, you still have your date... and there will be alcohol involved.

I haven't talked to him about it because I don't really know how to approach it. I think it was planned before we started going out, or at least that's the impression I got.

I don't want to be the annoying, jealous girlfriend. But I am jealous, and I'm kind of mad about it. I want to talk to him about it without seeming stupid and insecure and petty... ugh. I don't want to stop him from going, because if he wants to go, that's fine... I'm just not feeling very comfortable about it.

Am I justified in feeling jealous/mad? Or am I overreacting? He's not the type to cheat or anything, but still, ughhh. What should I doooo?

Yes, you are.

Why is he taking his "friend" to her homecoming, when he's your boyfriend? Alcohol or not, he shouldn't be there at all.

quote:Originally posted by MomentaryLapseOfReason:

Why is he taking his "friend" to her homecoming, when he's your boyfriend? Alcohol or not, he shouldn't be there at all.



I believe its because she mentioned the possibility that the plans were already made before they started dating.

Me, I wouldn't have a problem with it.

However, I recomend that you confront your guy, and make yourself perfectly clear about not liking this in the least. Forbid him to go if you want.

quote:Originally posted by Trunkduty:



I believe its because she mentioned the possibility that the plans were already made before they started dating.

Still, it seems fishy that he'd want to be in this relationship, yet take his "friend" to homecoming but getting her really fucked up first. You'd think that even if it was planned beforehand, he'd have enough respect for his relationship partner to break off things with his "friend".

I think your reading too much into friend. As Im sure they will meet up with other trashed friends. That is if they arent going in a group to begin with.

I think the real issue is, does she know the friend, and does she trust her guy. Its something she does need to discuss with him. If he freaks on her because shes asking questions about something where questions need to be asked, then the guy is a total d-bag and needs to be punched in the face.

If I were the guy, Id be worried if you didnt ask questions. I'd expect them.

how long ago was it planned before the two of you got together? And were they ever more than friends?I think the most important thing you should or should not worry about is if they were ever intimate and believe me if there is alcohol(liquid courage)there might be some spontaneous sex.There's alot your not telling, how serious are the two of you,length of time together etc..etc... I say NOT.

wait..wait, he's taking her instead of you?!

I got a bit confused there.

But if he's going in a group with loads of people, atleast if he cheats on you you'll know about it instead of wandering around like a clueluess dupe for months on end.

If it is just a friend there should be no worries. Just because someone gets drunk with a girl doesn't mean they are going to try and sex her up. If you aren't going to this thing, why can't he help out a friend?

your jealousy is completely understandable and normal. if you feel this way about it, you should try and talk to him. say it like you told us, tell him that you won't stop him from going and that you are just a little worried. if he is a nice guy, he'll kiss you gently and reassure you that it'll be ok and nothing will happen.

but I as a european have no idea what homecoming is. for all I know it could stand for anything between going to a knitting class together or gangbanging.

^^Homecoming is a school dance type thing, sort of semi-formal. You dress up and go to dinner beforehand.

Yoyo, they go to different schools. It's her homecoming.

I don't know anything about the friend, but I do trust him. It's just that little "what if??" thing.

Nah, that's just so fucked up. Your boyfriend should not be taking any other girl, friend or not, to homecoming. That's just fucking unacceptable. Don't put up with that shit, make sure he knows that he's being a fucking dick.

Aren't you the one freaking out about one of your guy friends not talking to you? Yes, yes you are.

Double standards are a bitch, eh?

Im guessing this homecoming thing is the same for Americans as a Debutante Ball is for Australians?

One of my friends partnered a friend of his for her deb, instead of his girlfriend, and it worked out fine. And he even took her to the afterparty (And we ALL know what happens at after party's)

If you ask me.....He's told you he's getting her drunk then going to her homecoming.....he's doing a pretty shitty job of covering his tracks. He obviously isnt going to try and cheat on you when you KNOW where he is, and who he's with.

quote:Originally posted by Demoiselle:

Aren't you the one freaking out about one of your guy friends not talking to you? Yes, yes you are.

Double standards are a bitch, eh?

There's a difference between phone calls/IMs and dates, honey.

You're so annoying, with the whole "I'm better than all other females" attitude. You're not any different.

/venting

Have him give you a call while she's loaded if you're concerned. He'll probably think it's hilarious and want to share the laughter.

It's just a friend. People do this sort of thing with friends, you know that. It's not as if he asked her to his Homecoming.

Euda, I got a phone call from her at 4 am.

The thing that bothered her was that he pointed it out. like he went out of his way to say it.

Not the type to cheat? I didn't know women were now telepahtic and can tell who will and will not cheat.

You don't know, you never know. If he cheats he cheats, how long have you known him again? So are you going to tell me that you know everything about this guy in such a short amount of time?

Doubtful, I would let him go, but it doesn't sound like your releationship is heading in the right direction.

quote:Originally posted by CarbonB:

Not the type to cheat? I didn't know women were now telepahtic and can tell who will and will not cheat.

You don't know, you never know. If he cheats he cheats, how long have you known him again? So are you going to tell me that you know everything about this guy in such a short amount of time?

Doubtful, I would let him go, but it doesn't sound like your releationship is heading in the right direction.

Just from what I hear from other people.

I don't know, I've finally found somebody I *really* like, and I'm trying so hard to not fuck it up. I'll talk to him tonight or tomorrow. I was going to last night but that didn't work. >_<

I wouldn't even bring it up, he is trying to see if it is going to be an issue with you.

Which you shouldn't let it be because he is coming home to you, and is dating you. Not the other girl. If girls believe so much in guys/girls being able to have a friendship, then why do girls get mad when their man spends time with other women?

My advice is to not bring it up, let him go, ask him how it went afterwards, and then fuck him, unless yall aren't fucking yet, then give him a blowjob. Lol, you don't have to do the last part, but it would be icing ontop of the cake.

quote:Originally posted by CarbonB:

I wouldn't even bring it up, he is trying to see if it is going to be an issue with you.

Which you shouldn't let it be because he is coming home to you, and is dating you. Not the other girl. If girls believe so much in guys/girls being able to have a friendship, then why do girls get mad when their man spends time with other women?

My advice is to not bring it up, let him go, ask him how it went afterwards, and then fuck him, unless yall aren't fucking yet, then give him a blowjob. Lol, you don't have to do the last part, but it would be icing ontop of the cake.

I'm fine with him going, I just want a bit of reassurance... Would it be annoying if I asked though?

quote:Originally posted by firekitty751:

I'm fine with him going, I just want a bit of reassurance... Would it be annoying if I asked though?

Yeah, but you might go insane if you don't.

Make it cute, and try and play it off as you wanna hear her wasted, too, as was already posted.

And good luck.

Some underclassmen see homecoming like...prom.

After = The Sex

And if your getting drunk before, is that considered "getting ready?" I'd be scared too.

Have a threesome an stop this inane shit.

It's not a big deal, really.

Probably just going as friends.

I've told you this before, so there's not much need in telling you again, but I will anyway. I KNOW you can trust him, he is an amazing guy and he is very much into you from everything I have seen. However you're not out of bounds for wanting reassurance and I think you should talk to him.