I love my g/f very much and she loves me too. We've been going out a year and there still hasn't been that "first time". We're both 19 and virgins. She keeps telling me that she wants to be with me, but that none of the times we could have felt "right". She wants it to be "special" whatever that means.

Ive recently been feeling the urge to find sex somewhere else. I feel terrible about wanting to do this, but I feel sex is important to me and that the drive has been, well driving me nuts. Im also worried that my lack of experience will make the first time with my partner awkward or something and that she'll have second thoughts about it the next time. Im sure I sound like an ass to alot of you, but whatever. Try to understand please.

There is no "right" time.

There is the "right" person, though. Maybe she doesn't think you're it.

You're kinda up shit creek. if you don't say anything, you won't get any, but if you DO say something, you probably won't get any, either.

I hate shit creek! heh I just can't decide what to do...

im with rabbi here: i think shes made it clear YOU arent right. whether shes consciencly made that desicion or its just instinct right now i dont know, but the writing is on the wall.

id look elsewhere. but id lay down money that the next guy shes with will get her within 3months, maybe sooner. thats just the cold hard truth.

and she might come back to you then, but then youd know that shed have rejected you personally. whether she then realizes her mistake and tries to repent is secondary. you cant go back.

so, fuck some whores and get your pecker wet man. damn son, youve certainly waited long enough.

pyro talk to her about this.

but if you truly love her then you'll just have to wait...however long it takes

masturbation is your friend

and about being inexperienced stop worrying. if you've both got the right parts then it'll be fine. it ain't rocket science, kid.

Who cares bro 2 years later shes just ganna go bang 3 guys while your a chump sitting at home thinking about how good you had it.

Go get pussy anywhere you can. And dont talk to her about sex. Tell her you dont want to have sex with her yet, and you will tell her when you are ready. She will want to fuck you herself soon enought, the less you talk about it, the less control they have over you about that shit and the more they want it. But like I said dont be a chump go fuck anything and everything cause its all bullshit and overated.

try to fuck...if she says no ...leave her

shit a year is way too long to wait

i had girls tell me they want to wait along time then 2 weeks into the relationship im hitting it

and the first time is gonna suck anyway so u might as well get it out of the way

I agree with pretty much everyone else. You just gotta wait until she's ready. I mean sounds like you are, so anytime will be right for you I'm guessing.

One problem though: You say you're a virgin, yet think sex is important to you? I'm lost/retarded. Please explain...

quote:Originally posted by Tikolx333:

Who cares bro 2 years later shes just ganna go bang 3 guys while your a chump sitting at home thinking about how good you had it.

Go get pussy anywhere you can. And dont talk to her about sex. Tell her you dont want to have sex with her yet, and you will tell her when you are ready. She will want to fuck you herself soon enought, the less you talk about it, the less control they have over you about that shit and the more they want it. But like I said dont be a chump go fuck anything and everything cause its all bullshit and overated.

This advice is stemming directly from hurt, hurt from a still open wound. Do not take it.

quote:Originally posted by Pyroteknix:

but I feel sex is important to me

How would you know? You've never had it. How could something be so important to you if you haven't expierenced it?

Maybe you just dislike being a 19 year old virgin?

wait till you're married. right now you look like the dick to the outside (i.e. non-totse), world. If you two get married and she still doesn't give it up, there's something seriously wrong with her. And i disagree that there is not such thing as the "right" time, but it is somewhat possible you're not the right person.

You need to decide if you're willing to wait as long as it takes. Otherwise, you need to think about bailing.

quote:Originally posted by Zcon10:

How would you know? You've never had it. How could something be so important to you if you haven't expierenced it?

Maybe you just dislike being a 19 year old virgin?

I guess what I meant to say was - it's important to me that I EXPERIENCE sex sometime in this phase that gives me so much damned sexual energy. Like fuck im 19, don't get me wrong I cherish the love alot too...but sex is always on my mind, it's the other thing that I really want. It's just not there. I'd feel so bad emotionally to find it elsewhere, but I know that mentally and physically I'd feel great to no longer be el virgino.

quote:Originally posted by I_Like_Traffic_Lights:

This advice is stemming directly from hurt, hurt from a still open wound. Do not take it.

Nope, it's actually good advice. Lying to him saying that she isn't going to go on to fuck other guys when she clearly will is only going to make it that much worse for him when it happens. My advice is to find someone who understands YOUR needs. You are supposed to be 50/50 in this relationship. I like how nowadays men have to satisfy a woman emotionally, and a lot of the time they will not satisfy you sexually in return. Young men are MEANT to have sex. It isn't mentally healthy to go forever without. The longer you go, the more unstable you will become. You say she loves you, but if she loved you she would desire you sexually. Maybe she "loves" you like a friend? Why would she wait if she had no doubts about you? Find someone else, move on, forget about her.

Sex isn't hard to get. It really isnt. If you're JUST looking to fuck, you can find girls everywhere that want exactly the same thing.

But getting a girl to love you, is probably one of the hardest, and most working things on this planet.



Be lucky you have a girl who loves you. If you lose her, especially over something like "putting out", all the sex in the world isn't going to even scratch how happy you were with her.

Not to mention the fact, that when you fuck someone else, you'll be saying to yourself "I just wish this were her..."

[This message has been edited by :tru (edited 12-03-2004).]

Some advice. Drop the lovey dovey bullshit and grow a dick man. Men have testosterone for one reason, and its not for affection.

Women use sex as a way to keep you whipped. They want it just as bad as you, but you have to atleast PRETEND that you don't give a shit to eventually get it, once they realize you don't care they'll eventually move to plan B to keep you whipped, which is a good hard fuck .

Being a 19 year old virgin is an embarrassment dude. Go to a cathouse or something if you get no luck with this hag, some decent birds here in the northeast for 60 bucks an hour(trust me that's all you need for them).

Love is bullshit. Go fuck something!

[This message has been edited by VladimirIllyichLenin (edited 12-03-2004).]

Dammit, I get the feeling that 90% of the people in this thread have the maturity of a 12 year old.

Pyroteknix, if you really want to fuck her bad enough, then ask her. Tell her how important it is to you. Don't say things like, "If you love me you'll do it" because everyone knows that bullshit. If she tells you that special crap again, then you have to decide if she's worth being with if she's not going to put out. If having sex is more important than being with her, then dump her.

I've got a feeling 87.6% of the people in this thread have never had sex before.

Yeah pyro talk to her about this. Maybe youll get laid.

Try avoid going elsewhere as u said u love her and love is hard to find. Harder to find than sex. Sex u can get anmywhere. Well u know what i mean.

One things for sure just to make u feel a little more confident is your lack of experience will more than likely go unnoticed considering your partner is equally unexperienced.

Why dont u try another aproach and make her want to have sex. I dunno if u guys fool aroud or not yet. But if u do just tease her and keep teasing her and she will be beggin for the dick.

Its just how it is.

PEACE and GOODLUCK

Everyone has their own personal needs in a relationship. I really don't see the point of you undergoing the torture that is not getting laid in order to be in a relationship with this girl. If she cannot satisfy your basic needs, you might just have to find someone that you connect better with.

If you're 19 then you're a big boy. Do something "special". Create an environment and event for something special to happen.

Rent a nice hotel room. Take her out to dinner. Buy her some flowers. Then go back to the room. Drink some champagne or whatever she likes to drink to loosen up.

Or ask her to describe what she would consider "special". What's she have un mind. A lot of times is just simply to have some real privacy. Maybe sh'd like some sexy underwear.

Don't be a dweeb. Inquire. Step up to the plate and make it happen.

quote:Originally posted by Little Pea:

Everyone has their own personal needs in a relationship. I really don't see the point of you undergoing the torture that is not getting laid in order to be in a relationship with this girl. If she cannot satisfy your basic needs, you might just have to find someone that you connect better with.

This is also true. But sort of mean.

Im guessin your a female lil pea.

So im sure you understand that SOME girls are more hesitant than others. When it comes to having sex.

Why throw away love just for a fuck.

Sex gets boring bro trust me. It allways ends the same.

SPLAAAT!!!

PEACE

quote:Originally posted by LuvBuds:

This is also true. But sort of mean.

Im guessin your a female lil pea...

...no...I am not.

Either way, if he doesn't find his relationship fufilling, why stay?

quote:Originally posted by Little Pea:

...no...I am not.

Either way, if he doesn't find his relationship fufilling, why stay?

But god dammit this relationship would be not only fufilling, but perfect if it wasn't for the absence of that one missing element. I feel like Ive been waiting too long.

bro:

you are 19. youre 1 year past your sexual peak, and your a fucking virgin.

in 5 years, youre gonna look back on this and realize youre being dicked with. this girl isnt going to give it up [to you], and if she does shell make it clear she isnt into it. drop her and bang someone else.

and these peckers that are telling you youre wrong for wanting sex despite her not wanting it are DUMB. its 50/50 here. they cant reasonably trumpet her and fault you. you are not wrong for wanting pussy.

youve waited a year.both of you are adults. the frustration isnt going to go anywhere, but i t might make it to where you end up hating her for it.

by all means make a play for it, but unless she willingly gives it upsoon, forget it. you cant make a try, her deny you again, you show her youre at the end of your rope, then get mercy sex. thats the end of it, shell hate you then.

so, try one last time, then act accordingly. by going a year, you have deferred to her farmore than just about anyone else would. sometimes things just dont work out. its no ones fault really.

id say the first time you get some pussy, youll realize how big a deal it is.

as it is right now with her not showing any interest in even meeting you halfway [head], how fair is she being. if shes worried about her cherry, fine. head wont pop it. but she needs to realize that you are at a point that unless theres some movement in this area the relationship will stagnate.

if she can look at you, and deny your very reasonable desires flat out like this, get the hell out. youve put in the time. she knows its not just about the pussy by this stage.

you will find many other loves out in the world, and sex will accompany it. dont hitch your boat to this girl like shes the only one that will ever care cause its not true.

youve never been inside a woman before, you have no idea what youre missing. id say, now, later, whenever it happens the glaring flaws in the relationship will show up.

plus, if you were to get there, she prolly wont give it up often. you think frustration now is bad. wait till you get it wet and then only get it oncea month or some shit.

the end, or a new begining is staring you in the face. thats the final word.

you're fukked dude. start scouting other talent and put that dick 2 werk.

How many other people here have been in this boat? Let me know if you're a guy/girl. What did you say or do, and what was the result?

quote:Originally posted by fire_jade:

I've got a feeling 87.6% of the people in this thread have never had sex before.

Lol made me laught, that was good.

quote:Originally posted by :tru:

Sex isn't hard to get. It really isnt. If you're JUST looking to fuck, you can find girls everywhere that want exactly the same thing.

But getting a girl to love you, is probably one of the hardest, and most working things on this planet.



Be lucky you have a girl who loves you. If you lose her, especially over something like "putting out", all the sex in the world isn't going to even scratch how happy you were with her.

Not to mention the fact, that when you fuck someone else, you'll be saying to yourself "I just wish this were her..."

[This message has been edited by :tru (edited 12-03-2004).]

You know what he is right. If this girl loves you, really loves you and forget the sex, when you get it from her it will be great and you will feel great. If you waant to be good at it, read. Go read all you can find. Read Cosmo and womens magazines read mens magazines, and they will help you be a better boyfriend and a better lover. Just dont take verything literly, but read the sex advice.

quote:Originally posted by Tikolx333:

Who cares bro 2 years later shes just ganna go bang 3 guys while your a chump sitting at home thinking about how good you had it.

Go get pussy anywhere you can. And dont talk to her about sex. Tell her you dont want to have sex with her yet, and you will tell her when you are ready. She will want to fuck you herself soon enought, the less you talk about it, the less control they have over you about that shit and the more they want it. But like I said dont be a chump go fuck anything and everything cause its all bullshit and overated.

And again Traffic Light is right, Iam just pissed but the advice about getting it rom her will work so try it you will see she will be more touchy feely, just dont let her think you dont love her anymore just show here you dont care about sex.

I was in the same boat as you. We've been going out for a year and we were still at the oral stage. She couldn't have sex because she's christian, despite wanting to. Well after a year we decided we wanted to. And we did. It was a few days after my 18th birthday too.

Then she stopped putting out and it drove me crazy like you. I need it and I think it's a good part of a relationship. You can't not do it with someone you love so much imo.

Well I just talked to her about it, she saw how much I hated it and decided that we should do it more. That's all it takes. If you both love each other that much, just talk about it and hopefully she'll understand. Just tell her what you feel and if she's still uptight about it, forget her. The relationship sounds like it's not gonna work if one of you isn't happy with it.

I'm just going to say,

"I tried to tell you."

Talk to her about it. Let her know how you feel. Try not to make it sound like an ultimatum, but the fact of the matter if you have your needs. There's nothing wrong with placing value on sex in a relationship. It's not everything, but it is something.

quote:Originally posted by Pyroteknix:

How many other people here have been in this boat? Let me know if you're a guy/girl. What did you say or do, and what was the result?

I have, and actually, I was only a year younger than you. I was dating this very affectionate woman who was extremely, extremely slow about getting around to the sex thing. Finally, I was about to go to college, and figured "fuck it." I cut it off and moved on.

Here's the lesson of the story, bro - I heard from one of her friends a month later that she had a new boyfriend, and they were fucking like jackrabbits. This sorta made me reexamine what I'd been doing wrong, and sure enough, when I figured out that I had gone in with the wrong attitude - whatever, the sex will come eventually - I changed that aspect of my behavior. You don't need to immediately demand sex, but you do need to be with a woman who's willing to have it, and you do need to be more of an assertive man instead of a doormat. Not because she'll then relent and assent to your demands in fear of displeasing you, but because woman do not find doormats attractive.

Sorry, man, but most of us learn this lesson the hard way - you're no exception.

stauffenburg, i called it.

I appreciate all the input from everyone, thx guys. There seems to be alot of diversity in the way people on this board think of "affection, but no sex".

I guess another thing that I have is this: I'd like to make her more comfortable with the idea of oral sex. Ive performed on her a few times thinking that it would loosen her up to the idea of returning the favor, however I was wrong. She hasn't really made it clear as to why she hasn't, but I haven't done it for her since. I mean if sex can't come right away,I'd lke to at least meet at some sexual halfpoint other than the handjob (shes done that for me quite a few times, but I mean, I have been doing that myself for too long and it's just dull now, want new things).

[This message has been edited by Pyroteknix (edited 12-07-2004).]

I'm with the people saying she doesn't think you are the right guy. I mean, if you've been together this long and you love eachother, than it should be special no matter what. You're two are lucky to have eachother, most people aren't in love when they lose their virginity. Just ask her straight out if she doesn't feel comfortable with losing her virginity to you. Tell her that for you it would be special as long as it's with her, and if she doesn't feel the same way then maybe you should consider breaking up.

quote:Originally posted by OpiateSeclorum868:

I'm with the people saying she doesn't think you are the right guy. I mean, if you've been together this long and you love eachother, than it should be special no matter what. You're two are lucky to have eachother, most people aren't in love when they lose their virginity. Just ask her straight out if she doesn't feel comfortable with losing her virginity to you. Tell her that for you it would be special as long as it's with her, and if she doesn't feel the same way then maybe you should consider breaking up.

I don't know. I've asked her similar questions before and her answer was usually "it just hasn't felt right yet" or "I want it to be special". I'd hate to break up with her, the love is definitely there.

quote:Originally posted by Zcon10:

How would you know? You've never had it. How could something be so important to you if you haven't expierenced it?

Maybe you just dislike being a 19 year old virgin?

you don't have to hit your thumb with a hammer to know it hurts do you?

You should really just ignore all these people that are telling you that she doesn't think you're the "one". If the love between the two of you is as solid as you say it is, Im sure that she feels you're the right guy. Some girls just seem to be really slow coming around to sex. It's like they expect the man to understand all of her emotional needs, while ignoring his sexual needs. You're nineteen, so the pushing sex drive that's getting to you is perfectly understandable. Don't let it however create problems between you and your partner, don't cheat on her. You'll regret it if yu ever do.

I just don't understand how you can be with somebody who sounds positively frigid about sexuality. I mean, it's sex. It's one of life's great pleasures. If she's got hangups about it, well, it'd make me wonder quite a bit.

quote:Originally posted by Stauffenberg:

I just don't understand how you can be with somebody who sounds positively frigid about sexuality. I mean, it's sex. It's one of life's great pleasures. If she's got hangups about it, well, it'd make me wonder quite a bit.

I hear ya. I think alot of the hangups that virgin girls have on sex though are just a result of the way they've been brought up. Parents teach that it's "bad" when really it isn't bad just potentially harmful. It probably seems almost silly that older young people like her could still believe that, but those sort of things stick around until they actually experience the sexual world on their own. From my personal experience anyway, the slowness of the sexual progression usually gets compensated for, it's just THAT much better when it actually does unfold.

Um, my idea.. set a really nice scene, make it look all special.. I dunno prepare her dinner, one main course, one sexy desert that you feed her - like chocolate brownie, cream strawberries.

Do the whole candle business and do the foreplay, you should try to build anticipation, one step forward, one step back.

Massage her, do all that, eat her out. Look up david shade's deep spot.

Get her really wet.



If this doesn't work, forget about it, she's crap.



I'm in the same boat as you, I'm only on base 1 1/2.

quote:Originally posted by VladimirIllyichLenin:

Some advice. Drop the lovey dovey bullshit and grow a dick man. Men have testosterone for one reason, and its not for affection.

Women use sex as a way to keep you whipped. They want it just as bad as you, but you have to atleast PRETEND that you don't give a shit to eventually get it, once they realize you don't care they'll eventually move to plan B to keep you whipped, which is a good hard fuck .

Being a 19 year old virgin is an embarrassment dude. Go to a cathouse or something if you get no luck with this hag, some decent birds here in the northeast for 60 bucks an hour(trust me that's all you need for them).

Love is bullshit. Go fuck something!

[This message has been edited by VladimirIllyichLenin (edited 12-03-2004).]



He makes alot of sense. I second this.