This is one of the long post that no one reads, but Ill try to make it short.

My X went to collge and we never broke up. We dated close to 3 years, before me she had sex with 1 guy I was her second.

I really loved her. I mean really loved her, I would kill for her.

She goes to college and sleeps with 3 guys and more then once.

We still talk on the phone and I dont know this till today.

So on the 13th she was coming back and I was really excited I missed her like no other and she told me she been faithful didnt even touch a guy.

So yesterday I was talking to a friend and I was going to go to bed when my friend sais hey I say your girls info on myspace.com

So I go read it and in one of the posts she writes that Her X (me) was really good to her and and she needs to stop hooking up and doing it just for the phsycal thing.

So I am in Fucking shock like I start shaking . Iam a tought guy I dont cry over girls but I started shaking for some reason.

So I confronted her about this, she was like it was one guy and she just made out then felt guilty and left shes so sorry starts cry ing telling me she loves me and she cant lose me, shes nothing without me.

So I hang up and going crazy thinking of her making out wiht some guy. So I get on her email and I see and meail from one of her friends, and in there it sais so he knows about all the guys you hooked up with.

So I call her and Iam like how fucking many. Shes like bursting out crying sobing and shit Iam sory blah blah.

She finaly sais 3. I say you have sex with them. More crying more sorry and then a Yes.

I hang up my heads spining, like it is now just typing about it. My heart is in my stomach. I felt like puking.

My sweetheart, my love, my girl who I would kill for had three fucking dicks in her.

I go fucking crazy. When I calm down get home from work where I almost got fired at.

I check my email and she wrote me this long as email about how much she loves me and just all this bull on how she cant believe she hurt me she never wanted this she loves me she cant lose me.

I calm down alittle I call her. Start calm just talking and then I fucking freak out start cussing.

Asking shit like how many times you banged each guy. Where they good? Did you have a fav ? Shes sad crying fucking sobing.

I cuss her out tell her shes a fucking slut. I would never touch her agian.

I never want to see her or talk to her. She makes me want to puke and hang up.

Three years out of the window, my first love. And right now I am scared. I dont know what to do. How can I trust another women?

This girl that I cared so much about became a fucking party slut that you fuck when your drunk and never call.

So now I am sad like I never been before and I just dont know what to do. I have some other prospects that I can date. But I just dont know.

Its like part of my died, and I just dont know she was so beautifull, all mine, I loved her so much, no she been fucked by 3 fuckers from college.

I hate her so much, I fucking hate her so much.

Thats my story I am 18. And I never knew I cared so much about her till she fucked me over like that.

Three fucking guys. What a fucking slut.

The circumstances were more to blame than the individual. I don't say this to undermine your pain, but to offer perspective.

It wasn't realistic for her to think she could remain faithful to commitments while being out on her own in a new, exciting environment for the first time. It wasn't realistic for you to expect that she could remain faithful without you being nearby.

The right thing for her to have done would have been to break up with you before she fucked the first guy.

She made a serious mistake. Don't let someone else's fuck-up compromise your ability to have other healthy relationships.

I can feel your pain, but I'm guessing you still really care for her. You still have felings for her, and you still love her, which is exactly why you hate her so much for doing that. Truthfully, the problem is that she is to close to your heart to be so far away. Not much more to add, I know I wasn't very helpful; right now, in a ocean of booze.

plasmatic

they have no self control. period. women are raised as princesses, and that there shit doesnt stink. therefor, they lack a large part of the functioning humanity that men learn quick.

so, in short princess does what princess wants. some guy makes her gush, shell fuck him. shell fuck him, do dirty, filthy things to him. do and say things shed never imagine doing with her good boy [you]. unrestrained passion is for this polesmoke she doesnt know. you are the safety net. youll be there till shes done withh you, or you catch her.

know your role guys.

any conscience, pangs of guilt? no. hell, in there mind they already have you doing the same thing, when its prolly the last thing on you mind.

pick up any issue of Cosmo, youll see story after story after story trumpeting this type of behavior in the reader write in section. talking about having a wild night of sex, and crawling into bed with there boyfriends/husbands. getting off on us not knowing. these are the creatures you trust with your heart.

i defy you to find me a mens magazine that glorifies the same type of behavior for us. you wont find one: were too decent for it.

santa, the toothfairy, fairness are but a few of the things you were told in your childhood. it isnt true though. so it about time you start embracing reality, and forgetting the supposed innate goodness of women.

and of course, deadlycindy here to offer 'perspective.' she seeks to somehow spread the blame to this poor fucked over guy, when it was his old lady that was spreading snatch around campus.

saying it was as much this guys fault for not being a suspicious, untrusting guy and instead taking this woman at her word. that takes some balls.

are you incapable of just coming on here and saying: your Ex fucked up. she willfully disregaurded your feelings, and shes a very lacking person? see, even when they are cold dead wrong, theres a reason for it. and this reason somehow points back at the men. what a perfect foil.

women will scream out in pain after having stabbed YOU in the back.

^^ Wow someones beens royally FUCKED over.

You misunderstood me. I wasn't assigning blame to anyone. It's not healthy to do so. Playing the "fucked over" victim leads to a bitter and warped mentality.

The circumstances weren't favorable to the commitment in this case. As I said, it wasn't realistic to expect that things would stay the same.

This doesn't mean every situation will turn out this way, because every situation has different circumstances.

What could be learned is that timing in relationships is important, and two people need to be in the same place in their lives for things to work.

The lesson that "people are evil" or that "people will stab you in the back" is not productive or useful, except to condemn a person to being a victim.

quote:Thats my story I am 18

This explains a lot.

quote:

uote:

Thats my story I am 18



quote:Originally posted by John Q. Adequate:

This explains a lot.

i wouldnt put him down so much just because he is 18, you can have big feelings for people at that age. and i doubt people change when they get older, the same girl he was with is most likley to cheat on other guys she is with in the future.

quote:Originally posted by Tikolx333:



Three fucking guys. What a fucking slut.

Even a woman that seems really faithful will lie to you. Sometimes they justify as trying not to hurt you because they care about you.-

-

I trusted my ex way farther than I should have. I don't know about you, but I know I learned my lesson.

my ex, who i went out with for a year, used to break up with me, hook up with some1, then get back with me. she hooked up with my cousin. she hooked up with some1 that snitched on me in court. all together, shes hooked up with about 15 other kids since january of last year. shes also given oral to 2 other kids, and a handjob to an other. we still love each other, but that truly is disgusting. i have only hooked up with one other girl, and we went out. last week we broke up. during the week she hooked up with 1 kid, and lost her virginity to another. because of all this, i have become sort of numb when it comes to relationships. the extreme amount of emotional pain i felt almost drove me to become insane. the first ex who i went out with that still loves me is 14, like i am. the other bitch is 16. please dont think that just because im 14 that i dont know what real love is. i know.

quote:Originally posted by Nihilism:

they have no self control. period. women are raised as princesses, and that there shit doesnt stink. therefor, they lack a large part of the functioning humanity that men learn quick..

What planet do you livee on? It's usually the other way around, and it's the guy who can't keep his dick in his pants. Although I do agree this girl did mess up by not breaking up with him before she slept with someone else.

quote:Originally posted by Nihilism:

so, in short princess does what princess wants. some guy makes her gush, shell fuck him. shell fuck him, do dirty, filthy things to him. do and say things shed never imagine doing with her good boy [you]. unrestrained passion is for this polesmoke she doesnt know. you are the safety net. youll be there till shes done withh you, or you catch her..

Once again you seem to have things backwards. Guy's seem to think most of the time it's ok to screw around on their grilfriends. If they are caught in the act, they usually say some lame shit like "but honey she ment nothing to me. It was only sex!" While feel bad for this particular guy. alot of men are fucking hypocrites in a situation like this.

quote:Originally posted by Nihilism:

any conscience, pangs of guilt? no. hell, in there mind they already have you doing the same thing, when its prolly the last thing on you mind...

Maybe because woman know that it's already in most men's mind's to cheat. Granted that doesn't give a woman the right to be a hypocrit and do the same thing. If catching her man in the act of cheatnig, she should just drop him on the spot. No questions asked.

quote:Originally posted by Nihilism:

pick up any issue of Cosmo, youll see story after story after story trumpeting this type of behavior in the reader write in section. talking about having a wild night of sex, and crawling into bed with there boyfriends/husbands. getting off on us not knowing. these are the creatures you trust with your heart....

Pick up most men's magazines and you will find articles about men cheating on their girlfriends. Some even give tips on how not to get caught. Once again a hypocritical situation.

quote:Originally posted by Nihilism:

i defy you to find me a mens magazine that glorifies the same type of behavior for us. you wont find one: were too decent for it. ....

Once again. What planet do you live on? Because it sure isn't this one.

quote:Originally posted by Nihilism:

santa, the toothfairy, fairness are but a few of the things you were told in your childhood. it isnt true though. so it about time you start embracing reality, and forgetting the supposed innate goodness of women.

Women have had to put up with men cheating on them. No matter how much faith they put into that person, they still cheated. Once again I feel bad for the guy who wrote this thread. but to declare that all women are evil simply isn't true.

^^^got to agree with nemi on this.

and tikolx... decide if you still want her or not. be a man and decide.

if you still want her then just go get vile enough on her arse that she never cheats again. then never talk about it ever again.

if you don't want her send her a note and some flowers thanking her for all the good times and wishing her well but that you don't ever want to see her again.

quote:Originally posted by jackketch:



if you don't want her send her a note and some flowers thanking her for all the good times and wishing her well but that you don't ever want to see her again.

Do you really think he owes that whore a note and flowers?-

-

Flowers cost money. Telling someone to fuck off is free.

I agree with Nihilism that some women have a fucked up sense of responsibility in relationships, and I agree with Cindy that dwelling on that will destroy you. If it were me, I would probably take her back if I could do it on my terms, and I would make sure she felt like shit about it. You do to do what you got to do...and hopefully you will be a little wiser next time.

quote:Originally posted by DOCTORGONZO409:

Do you really think he owes that whore a note and flowers?-

-

Flowers cost money. Telling someone to fuck off is free.

Don't write off 3 years of your life for someones mistake...even if it is a bad one. He needs better closure than "fuck off" for this type of relationship.

he should send flowers to show respect for her and for himself. she made a bad mistake but who the hell hasn't?

she made him a very happy man for a time and the memory ot that time alone is worth a few roses.

then he can move on ,knowing he acted like a gentleman and with compassion.

[This message has been edited by jackketch (edited 12-01-2004).]

DAMN! Thanks Easygoing -thats what i was trying to sy (^^^)

quote:Originally posted by Easy Going:

Originally posted by DOCTORGONZO409:

Do you really think he owes that whore a note and flowers?-

-

Flowers cost money. Telling someone to fuck off is free.

Don't write off 3 years of your life for someones mistake...even if it is a bad one. He needs better closure than "fuck off" for this type of relationship.



Thats the thing though, she makes it sound like it was a mistake, and all that bullshit, but you dont fuck there guys more then once, i mean one guys once is a mistake 2 guys once is a mistake but 3 guys several times, is her having fun. Its hurts so mucha and I thank you all for the help and for not flaming.

I wrote her a long ass email. Telling her How much she broke my heart, how these images of her and some guys dick in her just wont go away.

Told her how much I hate her becuase I cant kiss her and can touch her anymore. This is the mail she wrote me back

T,

I want to start by letting you know that I'm always going to love you, from the day that we met until the day I die, you are always going to have a special place in my heart. I know you don't care right now and you might not even read this e-mail, but if there is the slightest chance that you will, I need to write this.

When I moved down to College I went off of my antidepressants, hoping that the move would be enough to distract me. I also experienced a freedom that I've never had before, all during high school I was doing something else, weather it was being sick or the car wreck, I never really had a social life, and all of a sudden I did, and it was awesome. I know I took my freedom to the extreme, and I'll never be able to take it back, but as soon as I realized the reason I was so intent on finding a guy I realized it was because I so missed the affection and closeness that I felt with you so much I was trying to replicate it, but I couldn't get that from anyone else so I kept on trying, I know that was wrong, and now I'm trying to fix it, by coming home figuring things out, and telling you the truth.

T I missed you so much, you don't have any idea, I couldn't and still can't fall asleep without shedding a tear when I think about the fact that you are so far away and that I can't just go and see you and hug you and be with you. I know that's not an excuse, and I'm not trying to make excuses, I just wanted to let you know the truth, because you deserve the truth. I hope you won't forget all the times we had together that were beautiful, and won't let my stupid mistakes ruin a bond that I really believe was and is incredibly special.

You are an amazing person T, and the love you have shown me is more than I will ever deserve, and that is something I've realized I should always be grateful for. The way you treated me was amazing, and I never really knew it until now, that's why it was so hard for me to talk to you; because to realize how great we were I had to put it all in jeopardy, but now I understand, and I know that you and me really were perfect.

I will always, from the bottom of my heart, love and care for you T, and I will never forgive myself for the pain I've caused you, for that I am truly and deeply sorry. My only hope is that you will one day be able to forgive me and put all this behind us. T you have been, are, and always will be my first love, and loosing you is something that I can't stand to happen. I know your angry and upset, and I know I've hurt you deeply, I understand if you need to yell at me or just don't want to talk to me, but hopefully one day you will realize that I don't want to hurt you, and that this had nothing to do with you, it was my insecurities, and my issues, and it was necessary for me to realize certain things about myself, but I'm sorry that this is how it had to be, it was not supposed to be this way, and I've hurt both of us in the process, and I'm deeply sorry for that.

I'm sorry I lied to you and I'm sorry that I hurt you this way, I hope you've made it to this part of my letter, because that is the most important part that I'm sorry that I lied to you, and I really truly didn't want to hurt you, I just didn't know how to deal with everything. T, I love you, I always will, and no matter what happens and no matter where I am, I will always be there for you even just as a friend, if you ever need anything I will always be here for you. I realized how important you are to me and I know it's very possible that I'm going to loose you over all this, but I just want you to know that I'm always going to be here for, you even if you hate me, I will still always love you and always want to best for you in everything. You told me once that I was like family to you, that family is the only ones you can rely on, and you were right, because I've done to you what I continually do to my parents, with so few people around me I was used to hurting the people I'm closest to when I'm hurting, and I am hurting Tig, I have been ever since you left, and I'm so sorry that I tried to fix it that way, but you will always be like family to mean, and I will always be here for you.

I'm so sorry T, and I pray that you will find it in your heart to one day give me a second chance. It was your faith in me that got me through high school, and I had to learn to have faith in myself to get through college, so I'm working on that, and this was just a step in that direction, and I could still really use your belief in me, but I understand if you can't. I also want you to know that I'm so proud of you and all the success that you are having at College, I know one day I will see your face in the paper making international news for all the great things you will do. You are an inspiration to me and the reason I decided to come back home and figure things out (I want to be successful like you always said I would, and like you are), so I'm really trying to fix everything, I even got a job (I start work on Saturday at Fred Meyer). If you want to talk to me, I'm at my dad's, but you can call my cell phone or e-mail me whenever you want. Please just know that I do still love you and I always will love you, and I'm so sorry for the pain I've put you through.

I love you,

Tina





[This message has been edited by Tikolx333 (edited 12-01-2004).]

i sure hope you asked her before showing us that. it was something she wrote to you, for you and not for anyone else.

and like i said

be a man and decide

I think people need to realize that members of either sex are just as likely to cheat on their other. It's not a guy thing, or a girl thing, it's a human thing.

It's not that men aren't trustworthy or that women aren't truthworthy. Learn who you can trust. If they fuck up, then drop them.

quote:but 3 guys several times, is her having fun.

no not necessarily. it could be any number of reasons.

I

I just don't see the logic in the whole flowers thing....-

My ex and I dated on and off (90% on) for two years, and by the time we called it quits, I never wanted to see her or speak to her again. I still don't. She calls or texts every now and then, but I usually just ignore it.-

-

She said something once about not wanting two years to have been for nothing. I figure she shouldn't have fucked around on me then.-

-

I don't claim to be the most sane person I know, and maybe you shouldn't listen to me, but I still don't think you owe her shit.-

-

Maybe its because your shit just ended and mine's been over for a few months, maybe I don't remember what it was like. I don't think the email was a good idea.

quote:Originally posted by jackketch:

i sure hope you asked her before showing us that. it was something she wrote to you, for you and not for anyone else.

and like i said

be a man and decide

I agree with jack. Either you love this girl and want her back or you don't. If you don't then end it on a peaceful note and move on with your life. If you do leave. it'll hurt for a while, but your heart will heal. Eventually you'll find someone new.

quote:Originally posted by deadlycindy:



It wasn't realistic for her to think she could remain faithful to commitments while being out on her own in a new, exciting environment for the first time. It wasn't realistic for you to expect that she could remain faithful without you being nearby.

BULLSHIT.

That's a fucking cop out.

So what, all these women who have husbands fighting and dying in Iraq have free reign to fuck the pool boy because their husband's not around?

It's okay to be a pathetic fucking whore because your boyfriend or husband's not around for a while?

You're right about her breaking up with him first, but the whore didn't. If you're in a relationship, you don't fuck other people. Period. Unless it's already been discussed and agreed upon by both parties.

quote:Originally posted by The_Rabbi:

BULLSHIT.

That's a fucking cop out.

So what, all these women who have husbands fighting and dying in Iraq have free reign to fuck the pool boy because their husband's not around?

It's okay to be a pathetic fucking whore because your boyfriend or husband's not around for a while?

You're right about her breaking up with him first, but the whore didn't. If you're in a relationship, you don't fuck other people. Period. Unless it's already been discussed and agreed upon by both parties.

Yes it's a cop out. But if you think alot of those men fighting over there wouldn't snag some tail while they were over there and never tell their wives about the think again. Hell alot of them wouldn't even feel guilty about it at all.

quote:Originally posted by Nemisis:

Yes it's a cop out. But if you think alot of those men fighting over there wouldn't snag some tail while they were over there and never tell their wives about the think again. Hell alot of them wouldn't even feel guilty about it at all.



You cannot exscuse infidelity by saying that the other side MIGHT do it.

Fucking around is wrong for anyone, be they men or women. I see this all the time, broads trying to justify their behavior(or their friends trying to justify it to them) by saying that men do it.

Well, what if your man doesn't?

i feel for you.. I've tried sort of the same...

well the best thing is to get together with some friends and have fun... time will heal your wounds..

Imp

quote:Originally posted by The_Rabbi:

You cannot exscuse infidelity by saying that the other side MIGHT do it.

Fucking around is wrong for anyone, be they men or women. I see this all the time, broads trying to justify their behavior(or their friends trying to justify it to them) by saying that men do it.

Well, what if your man doesn't?

Hear hear! It's that very hurt before you get hurt attitude that is draining my faith in humanity. It's time we evolve and put a stop to this foolishness.

quote:Originally posted by The_Rabbi:

You cannot exscuse infidelity by saying that the other side MIGHT do it.

Fucking around is wrong for anyone, be they men or women. I see this all the time, broads trying to justify their behavior(or their friends trying to justify it to them) by saying that men do it.

Well, what if your man doesn't?

I'm not excusing anyone. I said "She should have broke up with him first." I don't think it's right for either spouse to cheat on the other and think it's ok. If two people have an open relationship that's a different story. She messed up big time plain and simple.

Also rabbi not all women are what you termed "broads". Just like not all men can be termed "cheating assholes."

quote:Originally posted by The_Rabbi:



So what, all these women who have husbands fighting and dying in Iraq have free reign to fuck the pool boy because their husband's not around?

It's okay to be a pathetic fucking whore because your boyfriend or husband's not around for a while?

You're right about her breaking up with him first, but the whore didn't. If you're in a relationship, you don't fuck other people. Period. Unless it's already been discussed and agreed upon by both parties.

A "relationship" between two teenagers is NOTHING compared to a marriage commitment between two mature people. It's laughable that you'd compare them. A boyfriend is not a husband, no matter how grown-up you think your relationship is.

Many assumptions have been made and words put in my mouth. I said what I said, and meant it at face value as pertinent to the original poster's situation. I'd have very different advice for a married couple.

I've said it before and I'll say it again: going away to college and trying to maintain a teenage relationship is dangerous. This is a unique situation that can't be compared to much else. One person is going away to an exciting new environment filled with new possibilities and opportunities. It's far too much to expect that a person will remain tied down to high school commitments. It's a unique phase in a person's life, and a sure time of growth, letting go, and moving on.

If the relationship is really that serious, the two should go to the same college, or if one wasn't accepted, s/he should go along anyways and work while the other is in school. Or another mutually acceptable situation should be pursued so that they can stay together. But teenagers who think a relationship will survive going away to college are fooling themselves.

People make mistakes and people fuck up. You can choose to acknowledge that, and move on with your life. Or you can choose to believe you were victimized and become a (repeating myself) bitter, warped crybaby.

By the way, I can't believe anyone would say that getting back together with this girl is even an option. That would be about the stupidest thing I ever heard. She proved she isn't capable of making decisions that are healthy for the relationship at this point in her life. As I said, she made a mistake, but that's for her to learn from, not for you to gloss over. You can forgive her for your own sake, but you shouldn't consider taking her back. Move on.

i agree that the whole "hurt others before they hurt you" concept is complete bullshit.

she fucked you over. screwing three dudes more than once is not a mistake. thats her gettin her groove on and thinkin you will never know. she wasnt sorry until you found out.

i know it sounds like some bullshit but you should send her the flowers and the note. it would be easier to tell her to fucking choke but ending it gracefully will also hurt her because she will see that all her sobs and apologies dont mean shit. you can just walk away without letting her know that you still dwell on it.

sorry if im an ass or something but thats just what i would feel/do.

You guys have a lot of good advice and I appreciate it a lot. I honestly have talked to every one who would listen to me and I got the best response from the place I lest expected, totes.

You guys helped me think things through and calm down. I am done with being raging angry. I had to go to my college adviser to sign up for classes and I could not stop thinking about her. So afterwards I called her.

We talked for 3 hours. I asked all the details found out everything mostly because I like to hurt myself. But I found out there where 3 guys. First it was a white guy she was friends with and they hung out a lot and he left a long term relationship back home and she had sex with him twice and after a while they realized they where better off as friends because she talked about me and he talked about her so they became friends. The other two where just one night stands and she regrets them, she was drunk and doesn’t remember them very well and they where guys she hangs out with too. So I found out everything and we talked for along time. Each thing that I found out was like a knife going in deeper and deeper in my heart.

I was still calm but I started telling her all this stuff that I got with girls while we where dating to get back at her so she would stop crying and be more honest. She got really bitchy and told me she didn’t regret them. She regretted the one night stands but not the other guy. Then I told her I was just bullshitting and I didn’t get with other girls, which I didn’t. So she said she was sorry she hurt me like this but these where experiences she had to have to realize what she has with me and how much she cares about me and how she doesn’t want to lose me. And that she was going to tell me when she got home because she felt so guilty and she loves me so much.

Well here is the contradiction, for her to find out that she loved me so much she had to ruin it so what was the point of finding out. She tells me she just had too other wise she would always wonder.

So I mean she knew she was going to tell me and she knew it was going to ruin was we have then was it is the point of her knowing what we had if, knowing it will destroy it.

So I don’t know she tells me how much she loves me, and that she regrets the one night stands. And that other guy was just a fling and all they had in common was that they both had people that they missed at home.

So she asked me if I will see her when she gets back. And I said yes, but I don’t know who I will be I might be really mean, she says she doesn’t care she wants to see me.

I don’t know I will see her but the hardest thing for me is not kissing her or hugging her or having sex with her.

I told myself the second a girl cheats on you, you will forget her and not care about her cause obviously she doesn’t care about you. And I am weak. I can not just forget about her or not care. I am just weak. I have my values and I am betraying them.

For me I will be happy again when I will find a girl who is as beautiful as her and who cares about me and loves me and understands me and who will make me so happy that I will slowly start to forget about her until she become a distant memory of my first love who broke my heart.

quote: until she become a distant memory of my first love who broke my heart.

sorry kid but the pain never goes totally. even after 20 years i still ache from the thought of her.

she broke my heart and something in me died that day

guess it did for all of us.



rite of passage

(and scoobi if you should happen to read this...even after all these years i still miss you).

quote:Originally posted by deadlycindy:

The circumstances were more to blame than the individual. I don't say this to undermine your pain, but to offer perspective.

It wasn't realistic for her to think she could remain faithful to commitments while being out on her own in a new, exciting environment for the first time. It wasn't realistic for you to expect that she could remain faithful without you being nearby.

The right thing for her to have done would have been to break up with you before she fucked the first guy.





This is ridiculous. You condone her clear infidelity. It's people like you that enable these sluts by justifying what they're doing. You're essentially saying "Well, she's a woman, and she's not being controled and watched at all times by you, so of COURSE she's going to fuck three other guys." I bet you'd do the same.

quote:Originally posted by Player1:



This is ridiculous. You condone her clear infidelity.

You're thick as a brick. Look at the last sentence in the part of my post that you quoted. I don't condone it.

quote: It's people like you that enable these sluts by justifying what they're doing.

It's bitter, warped cry-babies like you that insist on being a victim.

quote:You're essentially saying "Well, she's a woman, and she's not being controled and watched at all times by you, so of COURSE she's going to fuck three other guys."

You're saying that, not me. You're joining the chorus of schmucks in this thread who are putting words into my mouth.

I am merely prioritizing the need for the original poster to heal and move on with his life. Dwelling on these things is damaging, as you prove by your crappy attitude.

quote:[/b]I bet you'd do the same.[/B]

And a typically crappy Player1 post wouldn't be complete without a baseless ad hominem attack.

Again, I refer you to the last sentence of my post that you quoted.

quote:Originally posted by deadlycindy:

And a typically crappy Player1 post wouldn't be complete without a baseless ad hominem attack.

Again, I refer you to the last sentence of my post that you quoted.



Please. Your attempt to discredit my post on the basis of my character isn't fair at all. You ARE condoning her infidelity, regardless of what you say. You think that because she's a woman, somehow she's ENTITLED to be able to cheat. The typical American woman.

quote:Originally posted by Player1:

Your attempt to discredit my post on the basis of my character isn't fair at all.

I made no such attempt. Your posts discredit themselves; they lack logic and are non-sequitur declarative statements with no basis in fact.

quote: You ARE condoning her infidelity, regardless of what you say.

How so?

quote: You think that because she's a woman, somehow she's ENTITLED to be able to cheat. The typical American woman.

No, you think that I think this. And you are wrong. I'm not even sure what your statement there is supposed to mean. You need to read my previous posts because I've already addressed this.

I really don't see anything in dc's posts that suggests she is supporting what this girl did. Like she claims, she is just taking a realistic approach that will benefit the topic starter, and for the most part I agree with her advice. It sounds like some of you are a bit insecure because she is not openly condemning this woman. It is probably because she has seen this situation several times, and after a while it gets old. I know I have. I am sure this dude feels terrible, but this is nothing unique and he needs to learn from it and take a more pragmatic approach towards his next relationship.

i wouldnt normally admit this in the open, but i can feel your.....pain, i know exactly how bad it hurts...just remembering those feelings makes me want to cry.

it feels like someone tore your soul out, and along with it all of your pride, confidence, self-assurance, and feelings of reason and strength left you, and thats left is this sad, scared little boy with the feeling that there is nothing ahead in life.

see if there is something to salvage man. you may hate her, but remember that shes all alone in college, she gets intoxicated, shes lonely, horny, and everyone around her is getting some or cuddling with someone. eventually, almost everyone will fold. the urge to conform and not stand out is too strong for some.

I just had a long talk with my dad, like I have never talked to him before I mean we talked about everything his 2 divorces his lovers all that stuff. And it put things into prospective.

I just need to relax and I know that there will be someone else.

Now my delamma she is coming down for ten days. I have to say good bye to her, tell her thank you for the past 3 years you made me a better person and you made me happy during that time. Thats what I have to do, now the problem is she is going to want to have sex with me, and cudle and kiss. After talk with my dad he said if you want to have sex withe her go for it just dont get attached and let her know before that its the end. If she still wants then go for it have your last fun with her for those 10 days and then let her go.

He makes a good point my only problem is do I want to kiss her and hug her and "make love." Answere is yes but should I because I think it will make things harder and plus she had sex with 3 guys but like at this point who cares because its not like we where virgins when we got together, so what.

So my problem is I have been looking forward to being close and intimid with her and I know she has been too, my problem is should I be.

Because if I am then its like Iam letting go off her, and all those negative feelings that I have towards her for sleeping with other guys.

So I dont know what you guys think?

quote:Originally posted by madfast:

i wouldnt normally admit this in the open, but i can feel your.....pain, i know exactly how bad it hurts...just remembering those feelings makes me want to cry.

it feels like someone tore your soul out, and along with it all of your pride, confidence, self-assurance, and feelings of reason and strength left you, and thats left is this sad, scared little boy with the feeling that there is nothing ahead in life.

see if there is something to salvage man. you may hate her, but remember that shes all alone in college, she gets intoxicated, shes lonely, horny, and everyone around her is getting some or cuddling with someone. eventually, almost everyone will fold. the urge to conform and not stand out is too strong for some.

Thanx man and all of you who posted your stories here I read them all and just hearing other peoples problems calms people down. You word it almost perfect.

And suprizingly after talking with her and my dad I feel so much better. And I know I can get other girls and I will find another girl that I care about and cares about me so I will be fine. Thank you all for your help and support and help me out with the above post regarding her visit.

I still think you should take her back. In fact, I think you will be making a big mistake if you don't. One of my friends is older and she married her high school sweetheart. Only being with one person, she had a very idealistic view of love, and that was shattered when he confessed to her that he had an affair when he was drunk. He figured the right thing to do was tell his wife so there would be no secrets and thought she would understand that he was drunk and that he loved her and she would forgive him. What he did not account for was the impact of shattering her "virgin world view." My friend tried and failed to get over it and then left him. Now she is older and regrets it very much. As hard as it is to see now, the value of a special relationship is far more important than an issue like this. I don't know your situation too well, so I don't know if this is a relationship worth saving, but from the way you write about her and they way she wrote to you, I would take her back. I think you will regret it if you don't.

Having said that, there is a right way and a wrong way to do it. Don't go crying to her and begging her not to hurt you. Like I said before, let her feel like shit for a while. She fucked up, she deserves it, and she needs to know it will be a big deal if she does it again.



[This message has been edited by Easy Going (edited 12-02-2004).]

Nemisis:

funny youre named after a god that used to rape women in there sleep.

the overall tone of your post is that since youve been told men do this, its ok for you to do it.

its this sort of paranoid delusions that have led women, who hold all the power, to think they are being victimized. not a good combo men. thanks for perfectly illustrating my point that you feel no guilt for what you do.

quote:Originally posted by deadlycindy:

A "relationship" between two teenagers is NOTHING compared to a marriage commitment between two mature people. It's laughable that you'd compare them. A boyfriend is not a husband, no matter how grown-up you think your relationship is.

Many assumptions have been made and words put in my mouth. I said what I said, and meant it at face value as pertinent to the original poster's situation. I'd have very different advice for a married couple.

I've said it before and I'll say it again: going away to college and trying to maintain a teenage relationship is dangerous. This is a unique situation that can't be compared to much else. One person is going away to an exciting new environment filled with new possibilities and opportunities. It's far too much to expect that a person will remain tied down to high school commitments. It's a unique phase in a person's life, and a sure time of growth, letting go, and moving on.

If the relationship is really that serious, the two should go to the same college, or if one wasn't accepted, s/he should go along anyways and work while the other is in school. Or another mutually acceptable situation should be pursued so that they can stay together. But teenagers who think a relationship will survive going away to college are fooling themselves.

People make mistakes and people fuck up. You can choose to acknowledge that, and move on with your life. Or you can choose to believe you were victimized and become a (repeating myself) bitter, warped crybaby.

By the way, I can't believe anyone would say that getting back together with this girl is even an option. That would be about the stupidest thing I ever heard. She proved she isn't capable of making decisions that are healthy for the relationship at this point in her life. As I said, she made a mistake, but that's for her to learn from, not for you to gloss over. You can forgive her for your own sake, but you shouldn't consider taking her back. Move on.



this is wonderfull.

first thing out of her mouth is that the relationship is more or less null because its between teens. so lets forget about any ideas of commitment or giving your word. i guess Tik should have just expected this sort of behavior, as it is certainly getting a warm reception from the women on here.

Cindys a grown ass woman and saying this. shes well into her 30s ppl. and you somehow think your woman is gonna be different? the mocking laughter is filling the room over here.

and im sure if the ppl were married, you wouldve said something different. after all, youre married right cindy? that would hit pretty close to home for you, and then is when it matters.

she then goes on to say her sins should be accepted cause shes went away to college. its just that easy in cindys world. and whats more, youre a sucker for not crawling into the sewer thought process that makes you think like that.

see, princess does what princess wants.

she then says that its, again, that guys fault for not going to the same college. wow. whoever said that youd better keep a close eye on your girl or theyll cheat seems to be confirmed by this.

and if you were hurt by this betrayl of trust. if you cant cut your emotions off from the legitimate pain you feel, your a bitter asshole. if youre going to deal with a woman, i guess youd better be ready to accept a stiff assfuck and get over it.

crybaby? your hostility knows no bounds. whether this relationship passes your muster, the guys in pain. youre heartless, and youve excellantly proved my points.

quote:Originally posted by Nemisis:



Also rabbi not all women are what you termed "broads". Just like not all men can be termed "cheating assholes."

I use the term "broad" without any negativ connotation. It's just my chosen word for women.

I could be a negro and call them bitches, but I prefer to be boss and save that term for the broads who deserve it.

quote:Originally posted by deadlycindy:

No, you think that I think this. And you are wrong. I'm not even sure what your statement there is supposed to mean. You need to read my previous posts because I've already addressed this.

Then what DO you think? There is a lot of injustice going on, and I don't trust you to make a true statement on this subject. Really, you are the incorrect one. What is your point? You're basically supporting a woman automatically, even though she is clearly in the wrong. Sad.

quote:Originally posted by Nihilism:



...long post which makes little sense (see above)...

This from a guy who posted this:

quote:Originally posted by Nihilism:

go up there, fuck her a weekend, then dump her off.

you might as well get something before you do what you know youre going to do.

in this thread:

http://www.totse.com/bbs/Forum4/HTML/010883.html

So, you're a hypocrite.

quote:Originally posted by Player1:

Then what DO you think?

I've stated what I think several times. Go back and read my posts, though I'm starting to think reading comprehension isn't your strong point.

quote: There is a lot of injustice going on, and I don't trust you to make a true statement on this subject.

Of course you don't. Your posts are consistently misogynistic and reek of the victim mentality. Thus your ability to "make a true statement on this subject" is compromised. So it appears we've got ourselves a Mexican standoff.

Fortunately, the original poster has decided what's best for him and has wisely chosen not to play the victim. I think you two guys feel slighted that your attempts to incite him into wrathful vengeance and hatred for all females have failed. So relax; this thread was not about either of you.

quote:Originally posted by deadlycindy:

Your posts are consistently misogynistic and reek of the victim mentality. Thus your ability to "make a true statement on this subject" is compromised.

Your posts are consistently feministic, attempting to beat into him the "fact" that women will always cheat on him, and that women in fact have the right to do so. You attempt to make it appear that it is normal for a woman to cheat, and try to lower his standards and self esteem. As many times as I see people like you try to hurt others, I still cannot help but find it sad.

[This message has been edited by Player1 (edited 12-02-2004).]

quote:Originally posted by deadlycindy:

...So it appears we've got ourselves a Mexican standoff.

Fortunately, the original poster has decided what's best for him and has wisely chosen not to play the victim. I think you two guys feel slighted that your attempts to incite him into wrathful vengeance and hatred for all females have failed. So relax; this thread was not about either of you.

quote:Originally posted by deadlycindy:

Of course you don't. Your posts are consistently misogynistic and reek of the victim mentality. Thus your ability to "make a true statement on this subject" is compromised. So it appears we've got ourselves a Mexican standoff.

Fortunately, the original poster has decided what's best for him and has wisely chosen not to play the victim. I think you two guys feel slighted that your attempts to incite him into wrathful vengeance and hatred for all females have failed. So relax; this thread was not about either of you.

Cindy I agree with alot of things you say and there is a reason why you are a moderator because you have some good points to make.

And I am not going to play the victim simply because it is a wast of time and doesnt change anything. I still feel like the victim because she ruined what we had and lost my trust and my love. I still love her but I can never show here that the way I use too. I will get over her its just that I felt better but only when I didnt think about it. Today I talked to her talked to my dad went and chilled with a friend drank smoked, chilled talked, he had a girl of 2 years and 9 mounths cheat on him with some dude, and she wanted him back. And a year later for him, still when I talk about it he feels my pain.

And it really still sucks when I think about it because I cant love her the way I use to. She destroyed the sanctity of our relationship. She allowed someone else into my temple of love =). I put over 3 years into our relationship and to call it mine might sound selfish but she was mine as much as I was hers and I never allowed myself to be taken advantage of by 3 girls. And I had my chances and I walked away, but she didnt. That is why I am the victim. Because she acted in a certain way and cannont regret her actions, and I am helpless becuase I cant make it go away. And after feeling angry, sad, depressed, angry, close to suisidle, then angry again. I began to realize that this is just like anything else in life, you cant turn back time whats done is done and bitching about it does not change shit. So I decided to sleep with as many girls as I can with out discrimination just like she did. I am going to fuck a girl the first fucking chance I get untill I get back at her, in my mind ofcourse, which no one really cares about I know, but maybe just maybe it will make me feel better probably not, but still I have to go fuck atleast 3 girls. Untill then she has the lead.

What you women dont understand that when your guy goes fucks a girl, or when you go fuck a guy, its completly diffrent. Its as diffrent as a dick and a pussy. We fuck a girl, really I mean really you get over it. We call you fat you never forgive us but we fuck a girl you get over it. You call us fat we dont care as long as you still fuck us, but when you fuck a guy we never forget and we never look at you the same.

As sad, or pathetic all that must sound or immature or whatever you want to call it, but thats how I feel right at this moment 3:47 at night alittle tipsy, Iam sure there are millions of guys out there that got fucked over the same way, that feel the same way. So you women have to understand, we say somethin g or do something, it will be forgoten, you go fuck 3 guys, we will never forget.

Wish me luck, on fucking 3 random girls, one of them more then once, and pray for me that I remember to use protection each time, which I will.

Sorry about all the bad grammer, I just thought it and I typed it as fast as I could.

quote:Originally posted by Tikolx333:

...As sad, or pathetic all that must sound or immature or whatever you want to call it, but thats how I feel right at this moment 3:47 at night alittle tipsy, Iam sure there are millions of guys out there that got fucked over the same way, that feel the same way. So you women have to understand, we say somethin g or do something, it will be forgoten, you go fuck 3 guys, we will never forget.



You don't sound sad or pathetic. You're going to need plenty of time to sort of "grieve" and adjust to the loss. It takes a lot of time. I'm glad you had a chance to talk to your father about this. It sounds like he helped give you some perspective.

I hope you understand why I've responded the way I have. "Easy Going" was right; I've heard this situation many, many times. And I've seen it posted in this forum many times. What typically happens is that the thread becomes a dogpile of "What a pig/What a bitch" comments. A person in your position is vulnerable to such comments, and they can put you over the edge to where you feel justified in thinking those things. But thinking those things is not productive and won't change a thing.

Seeing the situation for what it is, however, will help give you what you need to move forward. It's a waste of time and energy to dwell on injustices. Sure, acknowledge them. But no need to dwell, because for some people dwelling leads to obsessive thoughts, and obsessive thoughts lead to destructive attitudes toward future relationships.

You deserve better things in your life, and it seems you have the sensible, mature attitude it takes to achieve them. Best wishes to you.

cindy declines to say a thing about my post, then pulls out a quote on a different thread not even closely related to the subject at hand.

i expect grammer corrections arent far away.

quote:i expect grammer corrections arent far away.

grammar

quote:Originally posted by jackketch:

grammar



Pwn3d.

but you are proving my point.

quote:Originally posted by deadlycindy:

You don't sound sad or pathetic. You're going to need plenty of time to sort of "grieve" and adjust to the loss. It takes a lot of time. I'm glad you had a chance to talk to your father about this. It sounds like he helped give you some perspective.

I hope you understand why I've responded the way I have. "Easy Going" was right; I've heard this situation many, many times. And I've seen it posted in this forum many times. What typically happens is that the thread becomes a dogpile of "What a pig/What a bitch" comments. A person in your position is vulnerable to such comments, and they can put you over the edge to where you feel justified in thinking those things. But thinking those things is not productive and won't change a thing.

Seeing the situation for what it is, however, will help give you what you need to move forward. It's a waste of time and energy to dwell on injustices. Sure, acknowledge them. But no need to dwell, because for some people dwelling leads to obsessive thoughts, and obsessive thoughts lead to destructive attitudes toward future relationships.

You deserve better things in your life, and it seems you have the sensible, mature attitude it takes to achieve them. Best wishes to you.



So you think getting with 3 girls will make me feel better? I mean I am going to do it no matter what you say but I was just wondering what you thought.

And whe she gets here I am ganna strap the rubber on and have sex with her too, but not like before, I am not ganna go down on her, or take my time, or be all sensual and kiss her here and there, it will be just .. "fucking."

It has been my experience that fucking never heals the heart. So going and fucking three girls will make you feel 3 times as shitty because you'll still be thinking about her. You have to get over her first, and then persue new gardens to explore.

I don't normally advocate playing the victim, but I would in this situation (within reason). She basically said it was inevitable that she'd end up fucking some other dude. She felt it was the only way to know that her relationship with you was worth hanging on to.

Well guess what, she could've discussed this with you. She could've told you that all the new experiences she was having were causing her to question what she had with you, and that she wanted to maybe go out with a guy or two to make sure her commitment to you is she really wants. It would've been shitty to hear, but you could've broken up with her then if you couldn't handle it. If she still ended up fucking those guys, then at least you'd be prepared for it. I can't imagine what it feels like to have a bomb like that dropped on you, completely unaware.

My point is, that even though it can be difficult to hear the truth sometimes, ignoring it can be a lot worse.

[This message has been edited by SkiPpYP (edited 12-02-2004).]

quote:Originally posted by John Q. Adequate:

This explains a lot.

I don't see how you can dare to patronise this guy you don't know based on an irrelevant fact about his age.

What the fuck is wrong with you? He's pissed off right now, I'm sure a pointless, irrelevant and patronising comment from a complete stranger just made his day, as well as making you feel a whole load better about yours.

Find an easier way to boost your postcount you fucking idiot.

quote:Originally posted by Tikolx333:

I just had a long talk with my dad, like I have never talked to him before I mean we talked about everything his 2 divorces his lovers all that stuff. And it put things into prospective.

I just need to relax and I know that there will be someone else.

Word. Realizing this is a MAJOR step in the right direction.

quote:Originally posted by Tesseract:

Word. Realizing this is a MAJOR step in the right direction.

Thanx bro, I go through such range of emotions through out the day. Like Ever since I found out on Tusday I havent eaten anything but an ample, and I have no energy and get head aches all the time, I tried eating some food but just couldnt no apetite.

But today I woke up, took a shower, depressed as ever wetn to school sat there didnt here a word that was said. Chilled with friends but still felt shitty so I went home and called her again.

We talked for an hour about same shit, you kno how much you hurt me, yes, she be like I dont know what to say to make things better, and I say there is nothing you can say to make things better, and Iam like you probably dont want me calling you everyday and hassling you about this shit, she is like no I like talking to you and I like you calling me, and just things like this.

I told her I kinda have a thing going on with a girl here, that she likes me but I havent acted on it, because of her untill I found out about it and I made out with this girl on wednesday shirt off, pans about to come off, and shes a virgin and all and the entire time I felt like it was my ex that was there, and I felt so comfortable but when I finaly came down to the real world and realized I cant take this girls virginity while Iam thinking about my x. So we stoped.

And I told my x about that, and she was alittle upset by it but really nothing she could say, and she said if she makes you happy then you should be with her, then busts out crying.

So I calm her down and we start talking about her coming back, and I asked if you where in my situation and I had 3 girls and you where faithful, would you kiss me would you hug me, and she was like yes and yes, then I asked her, when you come down here will you have sex with me.

And she hasitated and started explaning if you are all mad then no, but if we go back to the way we where then yes.

So I was like just yes or no. I come back no words are said we just start kissing making out and have sex, would you, and she hasitated and said no, becaus I would have to talk to you.

And we talked some more and I made this comparison its like a prostitute you would have sex with some guys for money with no emotions but with a boy friends he has to work for it.

And she said with them it was just sex and act with you its love making, and if you asked me I would have sex with you but I want to make love to you.

And we had a revelation, that to me sex and making love are the same thing while to her they are diffrent things. For me when I have sex or make love, its not just an act its me saying I love you, I care about you, looking in the girls eyes and feeling the love, for her sex is sex and but with me and only me so far it was love making, and she tried to make love to the first guy that she had sex with twice beause he was nice took her out to dinner a gentelmen and he liked her, but she just couldnt make love to him as much as she tried she just thought of me.

And you know what I realized that when I was with this girl on wednesday I was going to make love to her but it really wastn to her it was to my x, and she was doing the same thing, the only problem that remains are the two one night stands, and we talke about that and I asked her did they rape you, she hesitently said no, I said if you where drunk and cant remember what happened then they rapped you and she was like they where just as drunk and afterwards both of the apologized and that they arent just random guys they are guys I hang out with everyday they where friends, and I said tell me no hesitation did they rape you or no. And she said NO. Becuase she knows that I would rip their jaws out of not kill them if they rapped her. So I really want to think they she is telling the truth and they didnt rape her because if they did then I know what I have to do and its alittle scary.

So I hade two main things in this convo with her.

That to here sex and making love are two diffrent things, and she only made love to me.

For me sex and making love are the same thing and mean alot.

And second that she tried to make love to the first guy but couldnt and the other two where mistakes not rape because if it was I would perminantly injure them some how.

So the first main point kinda makes me fell better beacuse it justifies me furgiving her, but I told her for me to fully justify that I have to either go sleep with 3 girls or more and dont discriminate on race, age, or looks,

or find another girl who I care about as much as I cared about her and forget her.

So those are my choices and I think I am going to do both. I will sleep with a bunch of random girls I will be looking for a nice girl that I can love at the same time but diffrent place.

And at the same time I can justify forgiving my ex and still be able to make love to her.

Also she promised she will not sleep with anyone one else, for how long I dont know but she was crying like crazy and sobing and telling me how much she misses me so Iam guessing she is not going to sleep with anyone in the near future and the drinking and one night stands she promised she was not going to drink around guys that way nothng can happen.

So I have a mission to sleep with alot of girls and maybe try to make the virgin girl a long term relationship which will help me forget about my ex and I will be happy with her.

There is ofcrourse a moral delemma because I would be making love to my ex sleeping with slutty girls and making love to the new girl I have.

Sounds wrong but who gives a fuck I got fucked over by the world time to get some fun out of it, and feel better.

What do you guys think?

Oh and another thing she said that she used protection each time, but when I said I cant go down on you or I have to use a condom now too(shes on the pill) she said you dont beacuse I recently got tested. So I kinda caught her there because if she used protection each time why did she go get tested. She sais she used prtections but she was worried becase even with a condom you can get an STD so she got checked just incase.

See its kinda a big deal beucase I was the only guy who came in her, but if she didnt use a condom with them then they came in her too and thats just way way way too fucked up and some how makes shit worst.

I dont know Iam a mess one minute Iam so sure of everything and what Iam ganan do next I have no idea it drives me crazy.

I made her say that she wished she never sleeped with any of them. And she regrets it all, and wishes it never happened.

Ok Iam done Iam sure no one actually read that entire post if you did let me know, Ill send you a cookie.

[This message has been edited by Tikolx333 (edited 12-02-2004).]

quote:Sounds wrong but who gives a fuck I got fucked over by the world time to get some fun out of it, and feel better.

What do you guys think?

i think i just lost any sympathy i had for you.

for fucks sake grow up.

quote:Originally posted by jackketch:

i think i just lost any sympathy i had for you.

for fucks sake grow up.



I edited it with more thoughts. You are right very immature and I liked getting simpathy from you guys but those are the thoughts that go through my mind. And I am a rational person, and quite intelegent unfortunaly I cant spell but I am not dumb by any means, I think its another reason why I am so tormented by it beacuse, Iam smart and I consider every angle and each thought is just torture but I keep doing it and cant stop.

Iam sorry if I sound like a jackass Iam just trying to deal with this and totse is my place to write down my thoughts and get honest critisizm with out fearing any consequenses.

I apretiat every post good or bad. Or I should say positive or negative regarding my personality and my thought process.

[This message has been edited by Tikolx333 (edited 12-02-2004).]

That's exactly what it is: a process. You'll go through a lot of different thoughts. It's evident in how your posts have evolved through this thread. Let yourself think whatever you're going to think, since it's part of the grieving process.

As far as acting on any wild ideas, I'd encourage you to wait at least one week before doing anything at all. Acts carried out in anger end up being the things a person regrets most in life.

quote:Originally posted by jackketch:

i think i just lost any sympathy i had for you.

for fucks sake grow up.



You're an asshole. You grow the fuck up. You're the one who always calls people "kid." Jesus Christ.

quote:Originally posted by Tikolx333:

So I hade two main things in this convo with her.

That to here sex and making love are two diffrent things, and she only made love to me.

For me sex and making love are the same thing and mean alot.

And second that she tried to make love to the first guy but couldnt and the other two where mistakes not rape because if it was I would perminantly injure them some how.

So the first main point kinda makes me fell better beacuse it justifies me furgiving her, but I told her for me to fully justify that I have to either go sleep with 3 girls or more and dont discriminate on race, age, or looks,

or find another girl who I care about as much as I cared about her and forget her.

So those are my choices and I think I am going to do both. I will sleep with a bunch of random girls I will be looking for a nice girl that I can love at the same time but diffrent place.

And at the same time I can justify forgiving my ex and still be able to make love to her.

Also she promised she will not sleep with anyone one else, for how long I dont know but she was crying like crazy and sobing and telling me how much she misses me so Iam guessing she is not going to sleep with anyone in the near future and the drinking and one night stands she promised she was not going to drink around guys that way nothng can happen.

So I have a mission to sleep with alot of girls and maybe try to make the virgin girl a long term relationship which will help me forget about my ex and I will be happy with her.

There is ofcrourse a moral delemma because I would be making love to my ex sleeping with slutty girls and making love to the new girl I have.

Sounds wrong but who gives a fuck I got fucked over by the world time to get some fun out of it, and feel better.

What do you guys think?

Oh and another thing she said that she used protection each time, but when I said I cant go down on you or I have to use a condom now too(shes on the pill) she said you dont beacuse I recently got tested. So I kinda caught her there because if she used protection each time why did she go get tested. She sais she used prtections but she was worried becase even with a condom you can get an STD so she got checked just incase.

See its kinda a big deal beucase I was the only guy who came in her, but if she didnt use a condom with them then they came in her too and thats just way way way too fucked up and some how makes shit worst.

I dont know Iam a mess one minute Iam so sure of everything and what Iam ganan do next I have no idea it drives me crazy.

I made her say that she wished she never sleeped with any of them. And she regrets it all, and wishes it never happened.

Ok Iam done Iam sure no one actually read that entire post if you did let me know, Ill send you a cookie.

[This message has been edited by Tikolx333 (edited 12-02-2004).]



Send me a cookie...

Do you really need to justify forgiveness? How can you measure that out, as if it is a commodity for trade?

I don't know how to say this; but I'll try. Don't make the mistake of bargaining yourself away. That sounds to me like what you are doing.

There are some lyrics in a song by Kate Bush that go: "Don't ever think that you can't change the past and the future."

You can change the past...in a way...by changing your perspective (or your perception). Give yourself time. You sound like a very intelligent person...just give yourself (or yourselves) time...

quote:Originally posted by outcast:



Send me a cookie...

Do you really need to justify forgiveness? How can you measure that out, as if it is a commodity for trade?

I don't know how to say this; but I'll try. Don't make the mistake of bargaining yourself away. That sounds to me like what you are doing.

There are some lyrics in a song by Kate Bush that go: "Don't ever think that you can't change the past and the future."

You can change the past...in a way...by changing your perspective (or your perception). Give yourself time. You sound like a very intelligent person...just give yourself (or yourselves) time...

Thank you for the advice, but for me to give us time I have to keep busy and I cant. My boss lets me leave my job early cause I depress the customers and he knows what Iam going through, so I get out of there cause when I work I have time to think and the thoughts get to me, same with college I got very good grades and looking forward to getting on the honors program, but since tuesday I cant consentrate at school cause I just sit there and think about her and the little things that I loved about her. I love video games, I havent played BF or CS since that day, havent eaten so I get head aches all the time.

But I talked to her again today, I called her 3 times today everytime I felt really depressed, and she was good we talked, all the same things but she never runs off somewhhere like she use to she stays there talks to me cries, and Iam almost not really but almost starting to feel sorry for her for crying so much and telling me it where all mistakes because she thought it was over, because I was so cold to her when she was leaving.

But anyways she said she would do anything to make me happy again, she said she will stay loyal not touch a guy untill I say its ok and, that I can have my three girls and then I have to stay loyal too and we will see each other as much as we can.

Sounds really fucked up huh, but after that like I finnaly have a plan. I hate not having a plan or uncertainty and now I have a plan. She doesnt touch guys doesnt drink around them, I get my three girls and then we can be back to normal, almost, but preaty much because every time I get depress and Iam like she you fucked 3 guys she can be like shut the fuck up you fucked 3 girls.

And we can go back to loving each other. And we will be a perfect Jerry Springer couple. I joke but its almost true sounds so fucked up its scary, only thing that bothers me about the plan, is can she stay loyal, but now that she knows how much she hurt me and how much I really care about her I think she can, because when she left we never broke up, but I had my doubts and I said things like whats going to happen, can we really have a long distance relationship, I mean we are both guilty of this but when she left we both felt really distant from each other but we never broke up and she thought I was hooking up all over town back here, and so she felt like doing the same so she made a mistake and it was miscommunication between both of us, but the plan will work because once again I feel better again and not as depressed.

And I think Iam going to get some anti-depressents to help me out anyone know how I can. I never needed them she was my anti drug, depresent, trouble, jail, and Now I need anti depressents ... shit...

But the plan will work for now at least to make me feel better. She stays loyal, I get with 3 girls and we stay loyal to each other.

Is that messed up or does it make maybe alittle sence and might just work? What you think?

Sorry forgot to answere him, yes I really need to justify forgivness to myself because if I just forgive her I will feel like shit because it will be agains my moral standards, but if I justify forgiving her by getting with three girls there for we are even, then morally I cannot be mad at her and she cant be mad at me, so we are back to zero and balanced.

But please someone do answere my above question.

[This message has been edited by Tikolx333 (edited 12-03-2004).]

I don't like your plan, but whatever works for you.

quote:Originally posted by deadlycindy:

The circumstances were more to blame than the individual. I don't say this to undermine your pain, but to offer perspective.

It wasn't realistic for her to think she could remain faithful to commitments while being out on her own in a new, exciting environment for the first time. It wasn't realistic for you to expect that she could remain faithful without you being nearby.

The right thing for her to have done would have been to break up with you before she fucked the first guy.

She made a serious mistake. Don't let someone else's fuck-up compromise your ability to have other healthy relationships.



You sound like a fucking slut.



Shek

^I'm starting to agree. Cindy, why do you have to keep offering practical advice? Just hop on the goddamn bandwagon and admit that women are fucking evil already, you fucking slut!

Well Tikolx333, if that's your plan then let us know if it REALLY makes you feel better. I seriously doubt it. Even isn't better...it's just even.

It's really fucked up, but life is a learning experience. And who am I to give advice anyways...

2 wrongs don't make a right...it is more than just a saying

If you are trying to make this work, what you need is to forgive her...after you make her feel like shit. You can't get even.

quote:Originally posted by outcast:

Well Tikolx333, if that's your plan then let us know if it REALLY makes you feel better. I seriously doubt it. Even isn't better...it's just even.

It's really fucked up, but life is a learning experience. And who am I to give advice anyways...



Hey man I apreciaty any post, everyone helps me out some how.

And I feel better right now. But my days have been full of ups and downs.

I can feel like now good and content is the best word I feel content and even more so when I sleep with 3 girls but then I hear that Nelly song Over and Over again, and it almost makes me wanna cry but since Iam a "tought guy" I dont and I dont think it will help anyways. But after we discused that plan I feel better, and she used protection, so really they never touched down there, just made out and i did the same too (I love how I put things to myself where it can only makes sence).

So I will get anti-depresents and I will get with girls and it will be ok (notice how I have to keep telling myself this) and it helps.

I am back to saying I love you to her, and it makes me happyer to here her happy and not crying for once, when I say I love you. I have become the tipical boyfriend to gets cheated on but loves the girl too much to dumb her ass. And Iam fine with that I think because we will be even after I get my fun, although I dont really want to cause I dont care about getting with other girls, but I will for my peace of mind and for her to be able to hold something agains me when I hold that agains her. So we will be even. And we can love each other again, and I can get back to my life.

But let me ask you this Tikolx333, what of those 3 girls you 'get to be with'. What happens to them?

quote:Originally posted by Easy Going:

2 wrongs don't make a right...it is more than just a saying

If you are trying to make this work, what you need is to forgive her...after you make her feel like shit. You can't get even.



I disagree, I think two wrongs can make a right and it happens everday in the world. We go to war over 9/11, we kill murderes.

I think two wrongs can make a right.

And look if I just forgive her and dont do anything with other girls. I will always hate her bacuse she fucked around, and she has had other guys experice her. But if I go out and mess around with other girls that way I cant hate her because I become a hypicrite and if we get in a fight and I yell oh yeah you fucked those three guys, she can be like so you fucked those three girls, so it will be easier for us to get over it, if she cant yell back that you slept with other girls, she has no defence and I can stay mad at her and she cant resolve it bacuse everytime I can hold that against her.

So in a way Iam doing it for her too, so I dont have this over her head, I dont have an advantage Iam not a better person then her. She went down to a low and I have to drop myself to that low for use to be together to improve our relationship and because a good couple maybe it will strengthen our relationship. And I just love her and I want it to be easier for me to be with her and the wrong will make it easier for her to accept what she did and for me to leave it behind because I did the same so I cant get mad at her.

quote:Originally posted by outcast:

But let me ask you this Tikolx333, what of those 3 girls you 'get to be with'. What happens to them?



Those three girl, I dont think about them, I wont rape them, and I wont make them think that I am looking for a relationship, and maybe those girls are someone else girls who are going through the same shit my girl went through.

Iam not going to be hung up on that, right casual consentual sex, I dont have to worry about them. Just like these guys didnt care about her, really but I know that one day the shit that happened to me will happen to them, so its ok. I dont hold anyhting against them, I would do my girl too if I had a chance and meet her in collge.

There is no such thing as equality in any real relationship. If you cannot comprehend having an advantage yourself, I think the reason why she felt she could do what she did is becoming a bit more clear.

quote:Originally posted by Tikolx333:



I dont hold anyhting against them, I would do my girl too if I had a chance and meet her in collge.

And shit saying that makes me mad. But Iam not going to think about it.

Ill take drugs feel happy, do the girls, get with my girl and be happy again.

My plan will work. It will.

Well, sounds like you've got everything figured out.

It just sounds sooo very very sad to me.

The whole thing...

I see nothing good there...

Just emptiness...but then...I'm very sad today...so, maybe it's just me.

quote:Originally posted by Easy Going:

There is no such thing as equality in any real relationship. If you cannot comprehend having an advantage yourself, I think the reason why she felt she could do what she did is becoming a bit more clear.

Well shit dont say that and not tell me that and not say the reason, what is getting clear.

For her to sleep with guys she has the advantage beacuse shes been with more guys and I have this shitty feeling in me. If I sleep with girls she will have the shitty feeling in her too and we will be even and content with each other, again instead of me hating her for what she did and how she made me feel, since we cant undo the past we have to even it out. I think it makes sence.

quote:Originally posted by outcast:

Well, sounds like you've got everything figured out.

It just sounds sooo very very sad to me.

The whole thing...

I see nothing good there...

Just emptiness...but then...I'm very sad today...so, maybe it's just me.

Well isht it is sad, but its in the name of love, I will do it fore love so I can love her and she can love me and she wont feel guilty for what she did, so I want to help her feel better about her mistakes and help me feel better for hating her for what she did becuase I did the same.

But why you sad, you been helping me out, maybe I can help you out, tell me whats up.

quote:Originally posted by Tikolx333:

Well isht it is sad, but its in the name of love, I will do it fore love so I can love her and she can love me and she wont feel guilty for what she did, so I want to help her feel better about her mistakes and help me feel better for hating her for what she did becuase I did the same.

But why you sad, you been helping me out, maybe I can help you out, tell me whats up.



I can't...but thanks...

I really hope it works for you...if you're going to do it.

My best to you.

quote:Originally posted by outcast:



I can't...but thanks...

I really hope it works for you...if you're going to do it.

My best to you.



Thanx man and something my dad told me that helped me out.

When things get bad they can only get better.

So you and I, and anyone else out there who feels shitty and thinks things cant get worst, well they can only get better and you have that to look forward too.

quote:Originally posted by Tikolx333:

Well shit dont say that and not tell me that and not say the reason, what is getting clear.

If you cannot play the upper hand, the woman will almost every time. And even though they do, that does not mean that most of them don't secretly wish they had a guy who would. Don't act like a wounded puppy who needs some ritual to get back on equal footing. Spank her ass and then make her suck your cock.

quote:Originally posted by Easy Going:

Originally posted by Tikolx333:

Well shit dont say that and not tell me that and not say the reason, what is getting clear.

If you cannot play the upper hand, the woman will almost every time. And even though they do, that does not mean that most of them don't secretly wish they had a guy who would. Don't act like a wounded puppy who needs some ritual to get back on equal footing. Spank her ass and then make her suck your cock.



Iam not sure if you are joking or not, but I will spank her ass, the spanking is me getting with 3 girls.

quote:Originally posted by Easy Going:



If you cannot play the upper hand, the woman will almost every time. And even though they do, that does not mean that most of them don't secretly wish they had a guy who would. Don't act like a wounded puppy who needs some ritual to get back on equal footing. Spank her ass and then make her suck your cock.



sounds about right (and NO tix i'm not joking).



and trust me on this : sleeping with 3 girls will just fuck YOU up thricefold.



[This message has been edited by jackketch (edited 12-03-2004).]

I am not joking. You don't have to take it exactly literal though. What I am saying is take the fucking lead in your relationship for once because the other way around did not work out so hot for you.

quote:Originally posted by Prince Charming:



You sound like a fucking slut.



Shek

*shrug*

Everyone who posts in s&a sounds like a fucking slut. So what? It has nothing to do with the topic here.

quote:Originally posted by Easy Going:

Spank her ass and then make her suck your cock.



Honestly, Tik, this is about the best proactive advice you'll get here.

quote:Originally posted by jackketch:

sounds about right (and NO tix i'm not joking).



and trust me on this : sleeping with 3 girls will just fuck YOU up thricefold.

I want to know why you think it will fuck me up, because obviously I dont, and you do but you dont explane yourself, can you?

quote:Originally posted by Tikolx333:

I want to know why you think it will fuck me up, because obviously I dont, and you do but you dont explane yourself, can you?



i don't think so..i KNOW so. but someone else will have to explain it to you cos i have to go to college, sorry .

quote:Originally posted by Tikolx333:

I want to know why you think it will fuck me up, because obviously I dont, and you do but you dont explane yourself, can you?

a. I already told you 2 wrongs don't make a right. It seems to make sense till the second wrong is over and the issue is left unresolved.

b. You are not a casual sex kind of guy.

quote:Originally posted by Easy Going:

a. I already told you 2 wrongs don't make a right. It seems to make sense till the second wrong is over and the issue is left unresolved.

b. You are not a casual sex kind of guy.

Why do you suppose it will be left unresolved, we talked about things and understood why it happened, and to completly resolve it I have to even the score out for her and for me.

B. I might not be but I have to do what I have to do, and I can do it. I can do anything.

quote:Originally posted by Tikolx333:

Why do you suppose it will be left unresolved,

your feelings. getting even does not end the pain. this is like those movies where someone thinks revenge is going to get rid of the hurt of losing whoever got killed in the opening scene. there is another issue that has to be delt with besides justice.

quote:Originally posted by Tikolx333:

I can do anything.

can you forgive her?

quote:Originally posted by Easy Going:

Originally posted by Tikolx333:

Why do you suppose it will be left unresolved,

your feelings. getting even does not end the pain. this is like those movies where someone thinks revenge is going to get rid of the hurt of losing whoever got killed in the opening scene. there is another issue that has to be delt with besides justice.

quote:Originally posted by Tikolx333:

I can do anything.

can you forgive her?



I can, and living with, forgiving her when I told myself I would never, will be easier when I get with 3 girls.

quote:So I really want to think they she is telling the truth and they didnt rape her because if they did then I know what I have to do and its alittle scary.



Tikolx

(at college in library before lessons)



i don't think a boy (man?) who could write the above (which i wholeheartedly agree with) will find solace or a strengthed realtionship by sleeping with 3 other girls for the sake of doing it.

it would also be unnaturally cruel to your g/f. the pain from a beating fades fast but you setting out to cheat thricefold with malice aforethought ...that is too low for words and would hurt her far too much.

listen to easygoing ( he and i don't agree a lot but on this he's right).

quote:Originally posted by jackketch:



Tikolx

(at college in library before lessons)



i don't think a boy (man?) who could write the above (which i wholeheartedly agree with) will find solace or a strengthed realtionship by sleeping with 3 other girls for the sake of doing it.

it would also be unnaturally cruel to your g/f. the pain from a beating fades fast but you setting out to cheat thricefold with malice aforethought ...that is too low for words and would hurt her far too much.

listen to easygoing ( he and i don't agree a lot but on this he's right).

Unnaturally cruels she did something far worst becauase I had to find out through people.

She knows Iam going to be with 3 women and she doesn like but she agrees I have to do it to save our relationship.



Do you think she did get raped? She told me she didnt, and she would tell me if she did, or I know when she lies and she wasnt. Because she hangs out wiht these guys, she hang out wiht them afterwards and she would tell me.

[This message has been edited by Tikolx333 (edited 12-03-2004).]

I've been thinking about this. One thing it would definately even out is that you will know sex with out love. You will be able to relate to her experiences of sex without love.

I still don't think it's good for you either as an individual or as a couple. But that is based upon my own experiences...and I am not you nor her.

quote:Originally posted by Tikolx333:

Do you think she did get raped? She told me she didnt, and she would tell me if she did, or I know when she lies and she wasnt. Because she hangs out wiht these guys, she hang out wiht them afterwards and she would tell me.

I think there are many forms of rape. Can one rape oneself by going against what one wishes to be? Isn't that a violation of your own being?

quote:Originally posted by outcast:

I think there are many forms of rape. Can one rape oneself by going against what one wishes to be? Isn't that a violation of your own being?

I didnt understand what you are saying, beacuse you say "one rape oneself" thats really irelevant because it gets into all the phylosophical crap and it doenst have anything to do with this.

And this girl wasnt my only one, I have had sex without love, and one night stands, its just that, I didnt like em, and she didnt like hers, but since we been together we have to even out, so I cant hold anything against her and she cant hold anything agains me because both of us would have been with 3 people since we started dating.

And we can be together. Of course I will have trouble trusting her, but she always had trouble trusting me because Iam a flirt but with me it was alwyas harmless flirting.

But what ever we will see. I still have to talk the details out wiht her maybe I will figrue more out.

quote:Originally posted by Tikolx333:

I didnt understand what you are saying, beacuse you say "one rape oneself" thats really irelevant because it gets into all the phylosophical crap and it doenst have anything to do with this.

And this girl wasnt my only one, I have had sex without love, and one night stands, its just that, I didnt like em, and she didnt like hers, but since we been together we have to even out, so I cant hold anything against her and she cant hold anything agains me because both of us would have been with 3 people since we started dating.

And we can be together. Of course I will have trouble trusting her, but she always had trouble trusting me because Iam a flirt but with me it was alwyas harmless flirting.

But what ever we will see. I still have to talk the details out wiht her maybe I will figrue more out.



I see...so when you say you 'make love' that is within the boundaries of your relationship with her, not as a general statement. I missed that point...

As far as it being philosophical crap...maybe...but, it is valid crap though...

quote:Originally posted by outcast:



I see...so when you say you 'make love' that is within the boundaries of your relationship with her, not as a general statement. I missed that point...

As far as it being philosophical crap...maybe...but, it is valid crap though...



Its valid but it doesnt really matter if she raped herself or not. And it doesnt have anything to do with my situatuon really.

And I call her like 3 times a day, if not more and I can stop thinking about her.

When she left it was nothing like this, it was almost like I could relax alittle and I called her and missed her, but not that oftern I didnt miss her that much if I did I would go hang out wiht friends or a femal friends, and I wouldnt really miss her that much. I mean I guess I didnt miss her.

But now everey minute I think about her, I have to call her and talk to her. For even a minute. I love her so much and what she did hurt me so much, but I have to get with girls so I can even things out. And make love to her again the was I use to.

I'm terribly sorry...I was talking about you, not her. That you seem to be violating your own standards.

Two days with very little sleep...I'm not communicating very well at the moment...I'll shut up now...

Your situation just got to me...I've kinda been there...not exactly...but similar...

Actually a bit worse...It was never able to be worked out.

You have to fuck three other girls for you to make love to the one you love like the way you used to.

Do you have any IDEA how insane that sounds?

If saving the relationship is a priority at all you should completely change your plans because your current one guarantees it's ruin. If your girl truly does love you, and really is sorry, and all of that. If you truly love her, and really want to forgive her, and all of that. Then this plan of yours is the shittiest one available and should not be executed.

You're rubbing it in her face, something no lover should do to their partner, in addition to making cheating a mutual part of the relationship. Making it a goal to "even the score" you are making it an inevitability that she become a nervous, self-hating wreck waiting by the phone one minute and saying to herself "screw this jerk-off, I can go get me some too. Like he's going to stop at three, like that even matters, FUCK HIM!"

It's just not healthy, not going to work, overall NOT A GOOD IDEA.

Two wrongs don't make a right. Everytime you go out for booty you'll be forcing yourself to remember about her cheating on you, and if you love her as you say you do how cheating on her will make her feel. Do you think cheating on her will just cancel out her cheating on you? No, of course not. It's just going to completely destroy what you have with her, or what've left of what you have with her anyway.

quote:Originally posted by I_Like_Traffic_Lights:

You have to fuck three other girls for you to make love to the one you love like the way you used to.

Do you have any IDEA how insane that sounds?

If saving the relationship is a priority at all you should completely change your plans because your current one guarantees it's ruin. If your girl truly does love you, and really is sorry, and all of that. If you truly love her, and really want to forgive her, and all of that. Then this plan of yours is the shittiest one available and should not be executed.

You're rubbing it in her face, something no lover should do to their partner, in addition to making cheating a mutual part of the relationship. Making it a goal to "even the score" you are making it an inevitability that she become a nervous, self-hating wreck waiting by the phone one minute and saying to herself "screw this jerk-off, I can go get me some too. Like he's going to stop at three, like that even matters, FUCK HIM!"

It's just not healthy, not going to work, overall NOT A GOOD IDEA.

Two wrongs don't make a right. Everytime you go out for booty you'll be forcing yourself to remember about her cheating on you, and if you love her as you say you do how cheating on her will make her feel. Do you think cheating on her will just cancel out her cheating on you? No, of course not. It's just going to completely destroy what you have with her, or what've left of what you have with her anyway.

Naw man I dont have to "force myself" to remmeber that she cheated on my I am trying to do everything to forget, fuck.

I cant listen to music everything reminds me of her. I would listen to magic stick and I think someone gave her the magic stick, I mean shit like that, love songs make my choke up and start crying, like a bitch.

She does care about me and I care about her alot, I would take a bullet for her no doubt, never had a dought about it.

So now I have to get with three girls for us.

[This message has been edited by Tikolx333 (edited 12-03-2004).]

quote:So now I have to get with three girls for us.

that has to be one of the dumbest things i've heard in a long time. the worrying thing is i think you probably mean it sincerely.

if you do mean it then i tell you kid that you don't deserve her. she'd be better off finding herself a real man.

quote:Originally posted by jackketch:

that has to be one of the dumbest things i've heard in a long time. the worrying thing is i think you probably mean it sincerely.

if you do mean it then i tell you kid that you don't deserve her. she'd be better off finding herself a real man.

I dont deserve her, what is that suppose to mean? A real man, like the three guys that fucked her.

I do mean it sincerely and at this point as far as us goes its cant get any worst (except on of us dieing) so I am going to try to do anything to make it better.

And I dont deserve her, fuck you, I spent more time by her hispotal bed then her family docrotres and nurses put together. She spent 2 weeks in the hospital after the operation she was in a coma for 2 days and I would have done anything to change places with her.

quote:so I am going to try to do anything to make it better.

good then try being a man. yeah she's shat on you and betrayed your love. yeah you hurt real bad.

but you've heard the advice from the people here and they've all been where you are now.

piss or get off the pot kiddo.

(btw commendable as your desire to change places with her was, it means very little if when it comes to the crunch you are scared to take charge of your relationship)

Some people can't learn, and some people refuse. I don't know if this concept is over your head or if you are just stubborn, but I think you got enough advice already. If you want to go fuck three women, go for it. Without the ability to follow thru with a relationship with your girl, you might as well get some.

once again easygoing you managed to say what i wanted to say but far more succintly .

quote:Originally posted by jackketch:

good then try being a man. yeah she's shat on you and betrayed your love. yeah you hurt real bad.

but you've heard the advice from the people here and they've all been where you are now.

piss or get off the pot kiddo.

(btw commendable as your desire to change places with her was, it means very little if when it comes to the crunch you are scared to take charge of your relationship)

I have taken charge, she fucked up, but still loves me and wants to be with me, I love her.

Ok that has been establishe now what do I have to do to be with her, and feel content about her mistake.

She is not going to touch any more guys, she will not get drunk with any more guys.

I will sleep with 3 girls and then both of us can be loyal to each other.

Simple, that is the plan and if it doesnt work shit cant get worst. If it does then all obviously all of you fags werent man enough to do the same, or you simply didnt care about the girl enough. Look I dont know my plan might be stupid but so far you have critisized it but havent offered anything better to do instead.

You wnat me to forget her I cant.

Therefor I have to be with her, so I have to forgive her.

For me to forgive her I think I have to sleep with 3 girls other wise what she did will always torment me and I will not be happy in our relationship.

You have a better plan go ahead and let me know, beleave me I am open for suggestions on anything that will make this fucked up situations the least bit better.

[This message has been edited by Tikolx333 (edited 12-03-2004).]

quote:Originally posted by Tikolx333:



She is not going to touch any more guys, she will not get drunk with any more guys. Both of us can be loyal to each other.

There, I've removed the superfluous parts of your plan.

I understand in your hurt state you want what you perceive as justice. You believe that fucking three other girls while the one you "love" is at home crying is justified because of the pain she caused that you think you deserve vengence for. But it's not justified.

Sure it fucking hurts, but if you love her and knowing how much it hurts why would you want to cause her the same pain? Come on, man, you said you'd take a fucking bullet for this girl. How can you say that you'd take a bullet for her, switch places with her in the hospital bed, and still think that you have to put this same woman through such a hellacious torture as you describe it?

The pain for her would actually hurt more (believe it or not) because in addition to the hurt you feel from the very fuckery of it, but a constant reminder of how she fucked up. Coupled with your talks with the constant suggestion that this her fault that you're fucking these other girls it a meticuluously executed attack on the one you love!

Everybody has to handle pain differently, and trust is a hard thing to restore. I don't think anyone can offer you a 100% guaranteed plan to rebuild your love to the strong one it was because while these "cheated at college" stories may seem like the same story with different names each one is extremely personel and filled with millions of indescribable elements only you fully understand. I'm just telling you to please not merely spread the pain and suffering, try to show her that you love her.

[This message has been edited by I_Like_Traffic_Lights (edited 12-03-2004).]

quote:Originally posted by I_Like_Traffic_Lights:

There, I've removed the superfluous parts of your plan.

I understand in your hurt state you want what you perceive as justice. You believe that fucking three other girls while the one you "love" is at home crying is justified because of the pain she caused that you think you deserve vengence for. But it's not justified.

Sure it fucking hurts, but if you love her and knowing how much it hurts why would you want to cause her the same pain? Come on, man, you said you'd take a fucking bullet for this girl. How can you say that you'd take a bullet for her, switch places with her in the hospital bed, and still think that you have to put this same woman through such a hellacious torture as you describe it?

The pain for her would actually hurt more (believe it or not) because in addition to the hurt you feel from the very fuckery of it, but a constant reminder of how she fucked up. Coupled with your talks with the constant suggestion that this her fault that you're fucking these other girls it a meticuluously executed attack on the one you love!

Everybody has to handle pain differently, and trust is a hard thing to restore. I don't think anyone can offer you a 100% guaranteed plan to rebuild your love to the strong one it was because while these "cheated at college" stories may seem like the same story with different names each one is extremely personel and filled with millions of indescribable elements only you fully understand. I'm just telling you to please not merely spread the pain and suffering, try to show her that you love her.

[This message has been edited by I_Like_Traffic_Lights (edited 12-03-2004).]

Thanx that made good sence and you are right. I will show here that I love her.

But you are also right in the sence that, this might sound like another cheating story but everone of them is diffrent, as is mine.

What you guys think is that I am getting back at her, by fucking three girls. That is not the reason. It is not vengence I seek it is peace of mind.

You think that I want to fuck three girls to get back her for what she did. No I want to do it so I can live with what she did, and she she can be with me with what she did. It is so she doesnt have to feel like a slut in our relationship, so she doesnt feel like she is the only one in our relationship that slept around.

And I dont know if it will hurt her as much as it hurt me, I honestly dont know. because like I said in my earlier posts, for her she had sex with those guys so it didnt mean anything to her, but she makes love to me. So she knows that I will just be having sex with those girls not making love to them. For here there was no connection with these guys. But for me everytime and everyperson I have sex with I have a connection with and she doesnt know that because thats not how she feels, but since for me sex is a peronal connection I feel that she made a personal connection with those guys and just her and I shared. So I dont know where Iam going with this or if it makes sence, but I am not doing it out of revenge, I am doing so she feels better about what she did, and I can have a peace of mind wiht what she did because I did the same.

quote:I will sleep with 3 girls and then both of us can be loyal to each other

if one of my kids came out with crap like that i'd break his jaw.

(yeah my parenting skills suck!)

anyway here is this 'fags' action plan suggestion:



1. go to her now. kiss her and tell her you forgive her and it is never to be mentioned again, then make love to her like tomorrow will be the end of creation.

OR

2.go to her now. take your belt to her arse til she sobs and shakes then follow 1).

OR

3.ditch her now, forever ,no comebacks, no more contact, BASTA!

quote:Originally posted by jackketch:

if one of my kids came out with crap like that i'd break his jaw.

(yeah my parenting skills suck!)

anyway here is this 'fags' action plan suggestion:



1. go to her now. kiss her and tell her you forgive her and it is never to be mentioned again, then make love to her like tomorrow will be the end of creation.

OR

2.go to her now. take your belt to her arse til she sobs and shakes then follow 1).

OR

3.ditch her now, forever ,no comebacks, no more contact, BASTA!

Sorry I called you a fag.

But Iam going to do plan 1. when she comes here in 10 days, just like you wrote it except Iam going to sleep with 3 girls so it can never be mentioned again and she is fine with that.

[This message has been edited by Tikolx333 (edited 12-03-2004).]

quote:Sorry I called you a fag.

don't sweat it. this is totse. we all have pretty thick skins.

and sorry but again you're missing the point a bit. what the fuck are you waiting 10 days for her to come to you for?

if she's that important to you then get in the car and go .

(and before you give some logistical reason why you can't...i've dropped everything and travelled/hitch hiked to different countries before now to sort relationships.)

either she is important enough to you to do that or just ditch her.

[This message has been edited by jackketch (edited 12-03-2004).]

quote:Originally posted by jackketch:

don't sweat it. this is totse. we all have pretty thick skins.

and sorry but again you're missing the point a bit. what the fuck are you waiting 10 days for her to come to you for?

if she's that important to you then get in the car and go .

(and before you give some logistical reason why you can't...i've dropped everything and travelled/hitch hiked to different countries before now to sort relationships.)

either she is important enough to you to do that or just ditch her.

[This message has been edited by jackketch (edited 12-03-2004).]

She is literly 5000 miles away, and this 10 days is finals week in college, and I have tried very hard to do well in college and get all A's so Iam going to get through these 10 days.

But if I thought that I had to I would drope it all and go, its just that there is no need for that.

It is amazing the ups and downs I go through in a day, since I found out the news.

Anyone think I should get on some anti-depressents? If yes do I go to a doctor to get a prescription? And no illigal drugs I quite that shit for her and Iam not going to get back on it because of her. But yeah tomorrow I have a final in oceonography and comp class, but today Iam studing right now, but later tonight Iam going out with friends they are ganna help me hook up, so wish me luck, hope I get laid, lol thats another problem, if I cant get laid I will feel even worst, lol, ah its almost funny, But yeah wish me luck. Ill let you know what happenes.

quote: and this 10 days is finals week in college, and I have tried very hard to do well in college and get all A's so Iam going to get through these 10 days.

sorry my bad ...you did mention that before. yes of course thats a valid reason not to leave to go to her tonite.

although 5000 miles distant in itself isn't .

quote:Originally posted by jackketch:

sorry my bad ...you did mention that before. yes of course thats a valid reason not to leave to go to her tonite.

although 5000 miles distant in itself isn't .

Ah man if I could I would, I cant wait to see her. And really Iam not sure what its going to be like. Iam over being raging mad but I cant look at her pictures in my room, so I dont know what its going to be like to see her, but I cant wait, I miss her so much.

Hey hey, I feel so much better, she was suppose to call today, I called her this morning and talked for alittle she said she was ganna call me at around 1 to 4. She didnt call, so I feel better cause I just dont give a shit. Game Over.

quote:Originally posted by jackketch:

don't sweat it. this is totse. we all have pretty thick skins.

Not everyone...I have a thin skin you know Jack...[very soft too ]

quote:Originally posted by Tikolx333:

Hey hey, I feel so much better, she was suppose to call today, I called her this morning and talked for alittle she said she was ganna call me at around 1 to 4. She didnt call, so I feel better cause I just dont give a shit. Game Over.

I'm sorry to hear that Tikolx333...but never be so sure 'Gave Over'...maybe it hasn't started yet...

[btw, thanks for your post. I've have a mental block regarding some of my past and you helped open a huge door for me...thanks]

quote:Originally posted by outcast:

I'm sorry to hear that Tikolx333...but never be so sure 'Gave Over'...maybe it hasn't started yet...

[btw, thanks for your post. I've have a mental block regarding some of my past and you helped open a huge door for me...thanks]



No but seriously, when I talk to her on the phone it sounds like she is absolutly in love with me, cannot live with out me, cries sobs, agains sounds like I am her world her life, you can tell that from the email too if you go back some posts and read it.

And then we talk on the phone for ever, and almost makes things alright, and she sais I will call you lates 4. And never calls.

This is why this shit started over in the first place, she stopped calling, so I stoped calling becuase of my pride, so she thought I didnt care and she slepted around. What the fuck.

And now if she calls I dont know, should I answere my phone, should I call her. What the fuck.

I hate what this move is doing to me.

Fucking wish I was still in High School with my care free days living down the street from here going everyday over to her house, spending hours, days with her, not carring about anything but being with her. And loving her, and she goes off to college and fucks three guys, and stopes calling me. Why the fuck does this shit has to happen, she loved me as much as I did if not more.

We had an on and off relationship, she never broke up with me, I always broke up with her over some shit, I was mad at and we got back together. Usually I would break up wiht her for 1 day to 1 mounth the longest, but she always won me back and we got back together, all the girls I dated in between where nothing like here and I would never have replaced her with any of them. She always fought for us and our relationship and I loved her and I did my best to work at it too. She use to call me every day, to hang out after school, we would hang out during school. At night before going to sleep she would call me. Everynight without failing she would call me before going to be to chat for at least a half an hour then say good night and I would see her next day in the morning and we would spend the day together agian. And like this for 3 years, she goes to college for fucking 3 mounths and she doesnt call, and goes fucks 3 guys.

Three use to be my lucky number but shit, she fucked up my life up to now and I dont know how long Iam going to be feeling the effects of this shit.

FUCK!!!

i dont blame her for not liking your plans. shit, shes seeing how bad what she did hurt you first hand, i wouldnt want it either.

she serially cheated on you. and now that youre willing and capable of doing her justice, she doesnt want to endure what she did to you.

she didnt call cause she threw in the towel bro. period. as it is now, she got a major one over on you. like how it feels?

additionally, id almost be willing to lay money the number is now up to 4.

bro, look at what the ppl here are telling you. theyre telling you to forgive and forget. can you even believe this?

this isnt a matter of right and wrong. this is a matter of you getting over whats been done. nailing 3 chicks seems like a sure fire way to do it IMO.

the memories youll make will greatly lighten the sting of this. this will save you alot of bad feelings that were forced on you for no good reason. i think you owe it to your sanity to do what will make you whole again.

forget your gf a second. lets just say shes out of the picture, cant make any desicion based on her. nailing a chick or 3 will heal the wounds much quicker than anything else. and whats more, youll have FUN. be in a good mood. itll boost your ego. you cant go wrong.

certainly where your gf and you go after this is up to you 2. but right now, you have to look out for number 1. dont nail these 3 chicks for revenge, nail them for fun!

i cannot urge you any more strongly to do it. you dont want to wallow do you? dont let you next few weeks be ruined when the solution is right in front of your face.

no malice. no grudge fucking. focus on upwards and onwards. and thats inside afew ladies, and all the kissing and touching and heat that goes along with sex.

go for the gold bro. she threw in the towel, she played you and she got out. now you go out and show a girl a fuck of a lifetime. get all this misery behind you, cause if you refuse to help yourself, the pain youll feel is all on you.

Nihilism, seriously, what's her name?

Who fucked you over so badly to make you so calous?

quote:Originally posted by I_Like_Traffic_Lights:

Nihilism, seriously, what's her name?

Who fucked you over so badly to make you so calous?



his mother perhaps?

quote:Originally posted by Nihilism:

forget your gf a second. lets just say shes out of the picture, cant make any desicion based on her. nailing a chick or 3 will heal the wounds much quicker than anything else. and whats more, youll have FUN. be in a good mood. itll boost your ego. you cant go wrong.

certainly where your gf and you go after this is up to you 2. but right now, you have to look out for number 1. dont nail these 3 chicks for revenge, nail them for fun!

i cannot urge you any more strongly to do it. you dont want to wallow do you? dont let you next few weeks be ruined when the solution is right in front of your face.

no malice. no grudge fucking. focus on upwards and onwards. and thats inside afew ladies, and all the kissing and touching and heat that goes along with sex.

go for the gold bro. she threw in the towel, she played you and she got out. now you go out and show a girl a fuck of a lifetime. get all this misery behind you, cause if you refuse to help yourself, the pain youll feel is all on you.



Nihilism...You cannot bury your pain in other people's bodies. You may distract yourself from the pain, but the pain remains until it is dealt with.

Tikolx333...Long distance relationships are very difficult anyway. From what I've read in your lastest post; maybe it is time to step away from each other for a while.

quote:Originally posted by Nihilism:

i dont blame her for not liking your plans. shit, shes seeing how bad what she did hurt you first hand, i wouldnt want it either.

she serially cheated on you. and now that youre willing and capable of doing her justice, she doesnt want to endure what she did to you.

she didnt call cause she threw in the towel bro. period. as it is now, she got a major one over on you. like how it feels?

additionally, id almost be willing to lay money the number is now up to 4.

bro, look at what the ppl here are telling you. theyre telling you to forgive and forget. can you even believe this?

this isnt a matter of right and wrong. this is a matter of you getting over whats been done. nailing 3 chicks seems like a sure fire way to do it IMO.

the memories youll make will greatly lighten the sting of this. this will save you alot of bad feelings that were forced on you for no good reason. i think you owe it to your sanity to do what will make you whole again.

forget your gf a second. lets just say shes out of the picture, cant make any desicion based on her. nailing a chick or 3 will heal the wounds much quicker than anything else. and whats more, youll have FUN. be in a good mood. itll boost your ego. you cant go wrong.

certainly where your gf and you go after this is up to you 2. but right now, you have to look out for number 1. dont nail these 3 chicks for revenge, nail them for fun!

i cannot urge you any more strongly to do it. you dont want to wallow do you? dont let you next few weeks be ruined when the solution is right in front of your face.

no malice. no grudge fucking. focus on upwards and onwards. and thats inside afew ladies, and all the kissing and touching and heat that goes along with sex.

go for the gold bro. she threw in the towel, she played you and she got out. now you go out and show a girl a fuck of a lifetime. get all this misery behind you, cause if you refuse to help yourself, the pain youll feel is all on you.

Hell yeah man someone understands alittle what Iam talking about. And I never talked about revenge man, it is my ego and for me to feel better, and confidence. And thats what will help out my relationship with this girl.

Yeah man I am going to have my fun and yesterday I was at a party and talking to women and being in their precens calms me and lets me forget about my girl for a few moments.

And she called me today twice. Once apologizing and telling me she had to cover at work for a firend who was sick. The second she called telling me not to be mad and that she was listeing to a song that really reminded her of me, and sang to me on my machine.

I didnt pick up the phone both times. I was chilling with this other girl.

And man dont say shit like shes on number 4. Fucking stresses me out. I dont think she is going to fuck around as long as she knows I care about her. The problem is, is that now if I fuck up she wont have a problem going and fucking someone which is messed up, or at least thats what I think.

I dont know she sais she has changed and she is never going to do that again.

But I dont know. I am going to go have fun and party, although I dont really like it, call me a bitch but I rather stay home with my girl make shakes watch a movie together, then go out and party and flirt. Maybe cause its been so long since I have, but still.

So she is ganna call me in an hour, or at least thats what she said in the message so Iam ganna pick up, yell at her, see what she has to say.

But I got a date today. So Iam excited.

quote:Originally posted by Easy Going:

^I'm starting to agree. Cindy, why do you have to keep offering practical advice? Just hop on the goddamn bandwagon and admit that women are fucking evil already, you fucking slut!

If your not going to try and help like Cindy is trying to do, then please keep your idiotic comments to yourself.

quote:Originally posted by I_Like_Traffic_Lights:

Nihilism, seriously, what's her name?

Who fucked you over so badly to make you so calous?

wouldnt that be so easy for you that what im saying os coming from the depths of a broken man? but its not.

nor am i gay, or a woman hater.

i see life for what it is. i dont project hopes, nor dreams in a vain attempt to make the world seem different than it is.

so spare me the attempts to discredit me as some crackpot. or the lectures of right and wrong cause i dont give a shit. i do care about what works. and im showing this guy that trashing linear, in the box conventional thinking is the best thing he can do.

you totsians are extreme. when i first came here someone said i was mildly psychopathic, but only dangerous if provoked. not playing by the rules apparently makes you dangerous lmao.

anyway, nail those girls.

quote:Originally posted by Nemisis:

If your not going to try and help like Cindy is trying to do, then please keep your idiotic comments to yourself.



satire is lost on you i see.

quote:Originally posted by jackketch:

that has to be one of the dumbest things i've heard in a long time. the worrying thing is i think you probably mean it sincerely.

if you do mean it then i tell you kid that you don't deserve her. she'd be better off finding herself a real man.

I swear you must be deadlycindy. All you do in every single post is attempt to justify thd double standard that you clearly hold for women's cheating, that it's OKAY for her to cheat, but he has to be repressed and accept her cheating. You show your immaturity by putting people down, calling them "kid." It's sad the way you try and act like everyone is below you to gratify your ego. You sound like the kid to me.

^^^DAMN! you guessed it! i'm DC's troll account!

quote:Originally posted by Tikolx333:

Sorry I called you a fag.

But Iam going to do plan 1. when she comes here in 10 days, just like you wrote it except Iam going to sleep with 3 girls so it can never be mentioned again and she is fine with that.

[This message has been edited by Tikolx333 (edited 12-03-2004).]



DO NOT forgive her, whatever you do. She WILL hurt you again if you allow it. SHE DOES NOT LOVE YOU. SHE IS A MANIPULATOR. It seems like the other people on this board are trying to harm you emotionally by telling you to take her bullshit. Here is some REAL LIFE ADVISE, unlike what everybody else is trying to tell you: Don't get back together with her. YOU have rights. Just because you're a man doesn't mean you have to put up with her horrible immorality, and let her and everyone else on this board shove your face in the dirt. SHE is the one that doesn't deserve YOU. FIND SOMEONE ELSE.

quote:justify thd double standard that you clearly hold

kiddo i guess you missed the part where i said he should get 'vile on her arse' or that an option would be for him to beat her til she sobbed and shook?

just to be real clear

if he beat her so bad she landed in A&E that'd be fine by me. but Not to cheat back.

quote:Originally posted by jackketch:

kiddo i guess you missed the part where i said he should get 'vile on her arse' or that an option would be for him to beat her til she sobbed and shook?

just to be real clear

if he beat her so bad she landed in A&E that'd be fine by me. but Not to cheat back.



Seriously, you call someone kiddo every other post. Enough.

funny how that seems to get right under your skin... makes me wonder

you must be a very insecure 17 year old i guess..desperate to be treated like an adult.

do 'mommy and daddy' not take their little boy seriously enough?

well kid when you start to talk like an adult mebbe ...

[This message has been edited by jackketch (edited 12-04-2004).]

quote:Originally posted by Player1:



DO NOT forgive her, whatever you do. She WILL hurt you again if you allow it. SHE DOES NOT LOVE YOU. SHE IS A MANIPULATOR.

Wow, it appears that you know the exact truth of his situation. Even how she feels, what she does, why she does it, you understand this woman you've never met inside and out. How did you come about such omniscience?

quote:Originally posted by Nihilism:

wouldnt that be so easy for you that what im saying os coming from the depths of a broken man? but its not.

nor am i gay, or a woman hater.

i see life for what it is. i dont project hopes, nor dreams in a vain attempt to make the world seem different than it is.

so spare me the attempts to discredit me as some crackpot. or the lectures of right and wrong cause i dont give a shit. i do care about what works. and im showing this guy that trashing linear, in the box conventional thinking is the best thing he can do.

you totsians are extreme. when i first came here someone said i was mildly psychopathic, but only dangerous if provoked. not playing by the rules apparently makes you dangerous lmao.

anyway, nail those girls.

I didn't call you gay or a woman hater (though now that you mention it....) Nor was I trying to discredit you with claims of you being a crack pot. Lectures of right and wrong are just right out the door, I don't subscribe to such dualistic notions.

I also fail to see how your plan of action is at all deviating from in-the-box thinking. It's what any man would want to do. It's almost a natural response if humans had anything to do with nature anymore. Your girl fucks somebody, you go fuck somebody.

I'm not here to make claims on "moral" grounds. I'm just here to state, in my opinion, this plan won't help. It would actually prove detrimental to what he intends to do. Saying he wants to fuck 3 other girls to make the relationship "right", makes no sense. It will just completely shatter whatever fragment of trust is left in this relationship.

If the relationship is to be saved it will take a great deal of maturity, trust, love, all that good jazz from both parties. It will be hard, and it will hurt. It will all around suck, but if love is what this guy is after (more specifically love with this girl) it has to be done and it has to be done for the relationship to grow not to "even out" anything.

In all honesty the relationship probably isn't savable, as such a blow to the trust factor could cripple any relationship, but a young one that's also long distance.....I'm just saying that it'll be a long hard road back to where it was, and that fucking 3 other girls is going in the wrong direction making for an even larger hike.

don't worry about it. it's only a big deal because you make it one

yea, this guy needs to drop the GF no matter wat.

quote:Originally posted by Nemisis:

If your not going to try and help like Cindy is trying to do, then please keep your idiotic comments to yourself.



Go back and re-read this entire thread. When you get it...then go stand in the corner.

quote:Originally posted by Player1:



DO NOT forgive her, whatever you do. She WILL hurt you again if you allow it. SHE DOES NOT LOVE YOU. SHE IS A MANIPULATOR. It seems like the other people on this board are trying to harm you emotionally by telling you to take her bullshit. Here is some REAL LIFE ADVISE, unlike what everybody else is trying to tell you: Don't get back together with her. YOU have rights. Just because you're a man doesn't mean you have to put up with her horrible immorality, and let her and everyone else on this board shove your face in the dirt. SHE is the one that doesn't deserve YOU. FIND SOMEONE ELSE.

I am not going to forgive her. I just saw the movie CLOSER, and it really got me thinking. It was a strange movie, and yet it hit home like no other movie ever has.

It was quite funny because I was there with my good friend and the girl Iam trying to hook up with. The girl was bored out of her mind, but me and my friend, who has been through the same ( 2 years 9 mounths, girl screws around on him wants to get back together), he understands it and as we watch the movie in some parts it was so close to home, and almost a year, and two girlfriends later, he still cant forget her, and he still feels the pain, when I talk about myself and my girl.

I know better now. What has happened cannot be taken back or forgoten. And it will be with me for the rest of my life like a scar. I dont know what Iam going to do, at all.I think Iam going to date this girl I like, and she likes me. I feel sorry for this girl, because she sees how upset I am and she knows its over Tina, and that upsets her because she knows Iam not over her. But she broke up with her bf to be with me, and I like her.

So I think I am going to date her.

And when I see my X I guess, I dont know, I dont think Iam going to tell her Iam dating someone, I think Iam going to tell her the truth thought. I am going to tell her that I love her, and I dont know what to do. And she will say I dont either. And we will kiss, and hug, and probably have sex. Then she will leave again. And I will be with this other girl, who I like. And I just dont know.

I will get back at her for what she did. Years from now, when Iam successfull, I will go and see her, and she will know what she distroyed, and what she could have had. She could have had my, love, she could have had us, we where perfect together. And it can never be the same.

Everything about our relationship was like a movie.

She was the beautiful girl at school with tons of guys unsuccessfully chasing her. I was the nerdy kid that had a crush on her since freshmen year and always thought she was too good for me. After a almost 2 year friend ship, and alot of sad days for me when she was hanging out with other guys.

I finnaly kissed her.

And it was perfect. The perfect kiss. I never kissed like that so "perfect." I am not just saying that. We where out on a dock in the middle of the night, it was raining she was hugging me to keep me warm, and I looked in her eyes and grabed hold of her. I said "If you dont kiss me, Iam throughing you in the water." And I was about to when to my surprise she kissed me and it was perfect. I didnt talk to her for three days thinking I messed up our friendship and afraid she never wanted to see me again. But she was doing the same at home and when we finally realized this we where happy. Together, just the two of us against the world. And every other moment was incredible with her, when we made out, and I touched her, when we made love, when we just lay in bed and slepped. It was perfect, and would have stayed that way if I would have moved with her, and didn pick the easy way out.

I dont know if I can forgive myself. I know it wasnt my fault, but I could have prevented it if I just showed he that I loved her. I thought she knew.

Dont make my mistake. If you care, or love someone. Tell them. Call them right now, or go to them right now and tell them.

Iam sorry for what she is going through. My girl, my sweetheart is just as scared and lonely as anyone, and Iam not there for her, and I wasnt there for her for the first time since I first met her. I wasnt there for her.

I dont know what else is to be said. I have responsibilities in my life, my brother to care for, my mom get her out of the hell hole she is in. I cannot allow this to consume me.

And I will not.

LOL I just read the above ^^^ and I sound like a drama queen. Any one seen my balls because it seems like I have lost them? Damn women are evil. Anyone with that kind of power has to be evil. Right?

You haven't lost your balls. To be honest the post made me feel good, because I'm kinda lonely right now, lotsa love to give but no one to give to and it builds up a lot. BUT it gave me more hope. This whole thread has reminded me of something was going through and still am (though not to such an extent) and has changed my perspective on it a lot. Thanks.

But anyway, I say you drop the fuck-3-girls plan, it makes no sense to me at all. Maybe I'd have to be in your situation but I don't see how anything good could come out. She is OBVIOUSLY very sad about all this and most likely won't do it again. But if you feel the relationship has been torn and you will never be able to get over it (she isn't clean anymore etc.) then don't talk to her anymore and forget her. I can't give much advice. Except to look at the situation from all perspectives and assess consequenses.

Ouch, man. Fucking OUCH. I'm sorry that shit had to happen. Trust me when I say I do profoundly understand how soul-crushing such experiences are, and how almost nothing else hurts any deeper than that.

Look at it this way: You handled some of the greatest emotional pain that a person can feel, and you're still breathing. That's really all that matters in the long run.

However, your ass needs to get realistic about this and fucking lose that cheating cum-dumpster bitch. She did it once, she can and likely will do it again. You need to excise her from your heart and life and endure the resulting pains now for your own good in the future.

[This message has been edited by Infrared (edited 12-05-2004).]

this chick fucked 3 guys several times. sometimes you cant go back, and now is that time.

and tik, yes thats a great idea. when you have some cash, go see her and stuff it in her face. let her know the perfection she ruined cause she was fucking WEAK.

youre starting to get it bro. i knew when i first read this post there was something to you. you have just saved yourself alotof pain.

sadly, you have to remember that this new girl, and every one afterwards, is just as capable f what was did to you than this last chick.

Okay. I've just read 2 pages of the 6 preceding this response and mostly I see antagonism towards other posters so I gave up. Plz forgive me if I've repeated anything b/c I just didn't have the energy to read any more slander.

First I'll start with stats so there's no assumptions. I'm 21, I'm female, I'm Australian, and recently single. I had a breakdown b/c of a relationship betrayal and 2 yrs on am still a shell of the person I used to be.

Tik: My ex and I have an "interesting" relationship, and I mean HAVE. I know he's bad for me yet I'm still contacting him, talking to him, and seeing him. Thankfully he doesn't live in the area so I can escape for a while and think. I love him, I know I love him and from your posts it's obvious you still love her. Trust is the issue here.

In all my naivety (some of you will assume this) I can only suggest this about her visit. See her. Not seeing her will be something you will regret. Talking to her face to face, seeing her expressions, having that "real time" response without a chance to edit or think through helps.

You say that the image or her with other guys is too much for you to handle. I anticipate when you see her that the same will occur so while I doubt that something will happen (from what you've said) no-one will think any less of you (or SHOULDN'T) b/c you try to make it work.

Longevity of the relationship is irrelevant. Age is irrelevant. Circumstances are somewhat relevant. You can cheat while married, you can cheat whenever, its the charector of the person and the "stressors" they're suffering. Age. I've felt "old" and been mature than most for several yrs. People judging, or should I say GENERALISING based on age are wrong. It's a person's life experiences that makes them naive. For a bad illustration the movie "George of the Jungle". He's what, 30 in the movie? Are you saying his relationship is more mature than someone half his age living in today's society? It's sad but people age much more rapidly these days. It's sad b/c I'm being surpassed both intellectually and more but I'm not TOO bitter about it (lol). But my point is it's his first relationship.. there's no way it's like mosts.

All this bad-mouthing of the opposite sex from all is kind of depressing in itself. It's sad to see that there are so many people out there behaving in this abhorent manner. It is never okay to hurt someone else, even if they've hurt you. You end up feeling worse b/c you've sunk to their level and you've caused someone pain. The saying "treat others as you wish to be treated" sort of applies here. Do not let her diminish the sort of person you are, or your values. I'm also not saying that she's asking to be cheated on b/c she cheated. She's obviously still trying to "find" herself and if she's lost do you want to end up lost as well?

Okay. So I've rambled way too much but my points are this:

- see her. It will help with closure or forgivness. Perhaps start with friendship if you can start to trust her again maybe more. That way you don't lose her completely. However this will be hard b/c the urge to hold/kiss/ etc will be strong so perhaps some time apart with no communications will help (though this too is hard to do - from my own experience)

- trust is WAY too impt in a relationship. Never lower your values b/c the one you love doesn't live up to them. You can't change a person. She might not do it again but do you trust her enough? Do you want to risk it?

- Pain helps us grow as people, giving us strength to overcome adversity. That said It hurts too much and you feel as if you might never recover. I'm told you do but as on of the others said. Make a decision.only then will you feel better. Decide on a course of action, from start to finish. Tell her what that action will be (face to face) and

My ex uses the excuse for cheating "you live to far away, the urge to cheat b/c you're not available when I need you is too strong" and that's pathetic. Weak excuse for a weak minded person.

SOME Chicks cheat, SOME guys cheat. I am proud to say that I have never cheated and plan to never do so. In my mind if you're doubting (as her email suggests she is as she claims to have slept with people to see how she really felt about you) then you should tell the person you're involved with and though it might hurt it'll hurt less than how you're feeling now.

Either way this is all advice, borne from experience, pain, love, mistrust, growth ... etc etc. You chose what you want to do and be happy in yourself b/c people with values like yours, love like you're offering are hard to come by and the right chick will take it up without a second thought. Just be true to what you want, need and you can't go wrong. And remember that there's heaps of people here to support you so we can't ALL be wrong.

(p.s. I apologise if this makes no sense. It's late, and I didn't feel like re-reading)

BUMP

Keep updating. Overall though I say you dump her now that I think of it.

quote:Originally posted by Cybernetico:

BUMP

Keep updating. Overall though I say you dump her now that I think of it.

Update.

The past few days we talk for hours on the phone, about what happened what are we going to do, what does it mean, what caused it, how much it hurt me. How much she loves me and I love her. And what we are going to do.

And on the day she was going to call me back. She was out talking to her friends and having dinner with them and dicussing things. Well I didnt get to talk to her yesterday for more then a few minutes. But today we talked.

And man it was something.

I guess after talking to her friends, she got some new perspectives and she thought about things.

It was a diffrent girl that I knew.

For the first time she sounded confident, and told me to shut up, and let her finish. And wouldnt let me get mad at her. She was forcefull and sure of herself.

And it made me sad, I guess becauase she is over it now and she just wants to move and tired of me bitching about shit.

The convo was something like this.

I started at by yelling at her for not calling me, and she argued back.

She told me I cannot be hung up on her every minute of the day, thinking about her.

She said after talking to her friends the idea of me getting with 3 girls is crazy.

She said if I want I should go fuck three girls but, for me to do it for myself not, because of what happened or because of her, or because I feel sorry for myself. But she said go do it for yourself.

She also told me this story which made me think she doesnt want me talking to her anymore, or I dont know what it ment maybe she thinks we will be together later.

But she said she was talking to a guy friend from Hawaii, and he had a girl friend and similer shit happened to him.

His girl cheated on him and he went to see her and things where wierd. So he stoped talking to her, and for a few months he dated and hooked up with a few girls, and he didnt talk to his x at all and during summer time when he came back, him and his X got back together.

So I told her, first of all, I asked is he one of the guys you slepted with she said no.

But I asked her so what that story tells me is that you think I shouldnt talk to you and should just go do my own thing.

She said no ofcourse I still want you to talk to me and when I come there on the 13th we should see each other and hang out but you need to stop thinking about me and go do your own thing, go hook up and if we get back togther, then we get back together.

And I dont know she had to run off to have lunch with her dad and said she will call me later to talk more about this, but.

I was glad that she wasnt feeling like a victem of those guys. And she isnt as helpless as I thought she was.

Its just that, I think ... see when I meet her, before her I partied alot and I hooked up and I drank and did drugs, got arrest go bad grades, basicly I did everything wrong a teen could do short of getting someone pregnant. And when I met her I stoped all that, I dint care about parting or getting drunk or doing all that stuff. Problem with her she never did that. She always got good grades and before me she had a mentaly abusive bf who was 3 years older then her and used her for sex, she didnt love him and then rigth after that we started dating I was her first lovem and I was so good to her( I really was its not in my head I have alot of female friends that bitch about their bf to me, and I learned from their stories and I was good to her), but she always had grades or a long term bf, and she never got to party, she got so excited when I took her to one, but I didt it for her, I didnt like parting but since she never did she loved it. So in college she finnaly got to party, and I think she is past that stage. Although she thinks I need to figrue things out I dont think she is going to do the things she did in the past 3 months in college, because she parted she fucked 3 guys, she failed all her class and droped out of cheer, so she is going back after new years and going to get good grades and stop parting.

But yeah talking to her today. I guess it was her friends talking, but she was very rational, she said you are fare away, when you left I thought you hated me and was glad to get rid of me so I messed around, but I cant have you making me feel that you are a better person then me and that Iam bad.

So I dont know, thats what I got out of that.

She said I have to go, and said I love you.

Puting emfesis on "I love you" it sounded like she ment it but it was so cold.

It was like your mom just yelled at you for doing something stupid and then said I love you that kind.

So she is suppose to call me later today. But I realized that if I forgive her now, then I will become what I told myself I would never become.

Because if I let her do it this time, if she does it again, I will say what the hell I got through it once, I can do it again.

And I just dont know, she sounded very cold, and strong like she knew what she was doing.

And said I need to go party have fun stop thinking about her.

So I just dont know.

But whne I made the first post in this thread I rushed and I didnt write down the entire story.

Basicly, during the summer I thought I was going to stay in my home town and go to college there and she was going to go to a University 5 hour drive away, and on the week ends and break we will see each other.

My parents where moving out of that town so I was going to have to get a job to suppoert myself and an apartment, and I could have but I didnt cause all my friends left and she wasnt going to be around. So I moved with my parents, to another state.

I didnt tell her. I was going to see her 2 weeks after she left for college on her birth day, when she came back, but last minute I realized I cannot just stay there and risk my well being just to be with her, so I moved wth my partents. And I just couldnt tell her. so I wrote her a letter. See before she left for college I told her I might be moving with my partents and she got really upset and I was trying to break up with her to be realistic that Iam going to be far.

But she said no, I dont want to break up, I dont want to talk about it. Everytime I brought it up she changed the topic and just didnt want to talk about it. So she knew I might be moving and I saw how upset she was, so I couldnt call her and tell her I wasnt going to be there for her b-day in 2 weeks, I couldnt do that to her, I dont know if what I did was better, But I had mythings to worry about I had to rush and move so I can sign up for class in the new state, before the dead line.

So I left and we never broke up, and when we talked I tried to break up agian but she never wanted to talk about it.

And when I talked to her I would ask her, have you done things with guys, she would say no havent even touched one. While the entire time she was parting and fucking guys.

So before I knew that she was fucking around. I got a ticket for the dec 13 to fly and see her. And then I found out she did all this stuff.

So from then on everything I posted is preaty much true, except she is not going to be coming to see me, Iam going to be going to see her.

And now I spent 380 bucks and I dont know if I want to see her.

And she is recentfull and mad that I just picked up and left. But I had to, I really had no choice, it had something to do with my family, they didnt make me, but I had to do it for the well being of my family, I had to move, and I still loved her.

And in the back of my head, I thought maybe I can get her to move here, or Iam getting my AS and traferring to a University, and I thought maybe I cant transfere near by her and we can be together again.

And when she would say that she didnt touch any guys, I believed her I would have never imagined her to fuck 3 guys.

So now you know the truth. I did what I had to do, for my family. And I never wanted to her.

She thoguht I left without saying anything because I didnt love her, or didnt care about her. But I couldnt call her I just wrote her a letter. Telling her how much I loved her.

So I dont know. She was back in my home town from school when I found out because fall semeester she fucked up, but the day she didnt call she drove up to her school to see her friend and, she talked to all her girl friends and after that, she was cold towards me, like she just wants me to move on with my life in this new state. And I dont know if I ask her so you want me to stop calling you and forget about you, she would say no ofcourse not.

But she will call later, maybe, and we need to talk more, need to figure things out, but she wants me to get over it and stop mopping around and go to parties and have fun for myself.

And her atitude of not carring, is alittle realeaving cause now Iam angry that she makes it sound like she doesnt care about me, at the same time she said I love you.

So I just dont know.

When I say I care about you, she yells at me that I just got up and left, with out saying anything and do I know what that did to her.

So now I balm myself. But I had no choice.

So all I can do is move on. Get a new girl. Love her give her a chance.

Another problem is that I idealize Tina, and all I remember about her are the good times, and I , in my mind I think make her out to be alot more then she was, so now in my mind Iam going to be comparing these new girlst to an unrealistic standered that I have in my head. And I need to deal with that and remember that Tina and I fought all the time, she lied to me about little things, she is extremly self centered, and spoiled. And I will find a better girl.

I will find abetter girl. So I think on the 13th Iam going to go see her. And after that Iam going to start dating this new girl here that Iam starting to hook up with, and I like and I need to give her a chance.

I dont know I have so much going on in my head.

But thats the hole truth. And sure I moved to another state, with out notice, but I called her all the time and in the 3 mounths I been here she called me twice. I think she was mad at me. So I really dont know.

Fuck it. I have a date today. Ill talk to you all later.

Just wanted to say that I'm happy that you're sounding so much better. You still sound hurt (understandably) but you're being realistic and thinking through options, and analysing her and what she says.

Quick qn. Does she know that you've posted info about this? (I don't think you HAVE to tell her I just wonder what she'd say if you did) :P ...

Anyway, hope the date went well. Oh and I know it's obvious but don't lead this other chick on. Tell her that you're going to sort it out so she doesn't feel lied to or whatever.. well you get the idea.

shes fucking with you, and youre letting her. cut the bitch loose, she hates you and doesnt respect you at all. nail some god damned bitches and grow a set of balls.

this bitch and her bandwagon jumping whore friends got together today and tore your shit apart, thats why she was so cold with you. they have managed to enable her to feel ike youre the one who fucked up.

i also imagine shes quite a bit more honest with them about things. like i said, she doesnt care and nothing you do will change it.

the next update to this had better be you fucking some chick orsimilar,

quote:Originally posted by Nihilism:

shes fucking with you, and youre letting her. cut the bitch loose, she hates you and doesnt respect you at all. nail some god damned bitches and grow a set of balls.

this bitch and her bandwagon jumping whore friends got together today and tore your shit apart, thats why she was so cold with you. they have managed to enable her to feel ike youre the one who fucked up.

i also imagine shes quite a bit more honest with them about things. like i said, she doesnt care and nothing you do will change it.

the next update to this had better be you fucking some chick orsimilar,

I kinda agree. Man I can't take a stand on any side here.

I hate girls, but I can't get enough of them. Every girl I know is a dumb sadistic manipulative bitch, and once you get past thier good girl image they set out, you realize how dumb some of them are. I know a chick who manipulates and does shit to guys all the time, and to me (luckily on a friend level). She fucks everyone and fucks everyone OVER and I don't know how people like that could live with themselves. I'd go deeper but I don't want to right now, it's late. But I still think she's an angel because she has had such a fucked up life and it's kinda warped her, and sometimes she's so nice in a way that has to be geniune. Bottom line: GIRLS CANT BE FIGURED OUT DONT TRY. Boom.

[This message has been edited by Cybernetico (edited 12-06-2004).]

quote:Originally posted by Sykadelic:

Just wanted to say that I'm happy that you're sounding so much better. You still sound hurt (understandably) but you're being realistic and thinking through options, and analysing her and what she says.

Quick qn. Does she know that you've posted info about this? (I don't think you HAVE to tell her I just wonder what she'd say if you did) :P ...

Anyway, hope the date went well. Oh and I know it's obvious but don't lead this other chick on. Tell her that you're going to sort it out so she doesn't feel lied to or whatever.. well you get the idea.

To your first question. I told her that I am finding support in the most unlikly place, the internet. And that I posted my story on the net. So yes she knows.

And Iam not leading the other girl on, she knows all about my X and how I feel about her, and she knows that Iam stressed out right over her and it hurts her cause Iam not all about her right now.

Ok so she called as I was writing this and everything after this is after our convo.

We talked again its like 4 at night so we talked for like 2 1/2 hours. About alot of things.

She yelled at me eariler for bringing her down and basicly I need to stop being a pussy and need to get over it.

So she called and we started talking, and I said I was proud of her, for being so forcefull and for the first time telling me to Shut Up and Let her talk and for telling me to get a grip and get over it.

So we started talking like friends, about this and that and school, and everything going fine, and then she started talking about how she got shot with an airsoft gun cause she was playing that with the guys from the next dorm, and she was telling me this story, and it sounded like she was having fun with these guys.

As Iam listening to this, I can feel the anger growing in me.

And I get pissed again and told her thats great as in Shut up, and started talking again, and it came down to again, 3 guys you slut.

After that I just went off on her, I was like I am was a good bf, and you dont deserve me, after what you did I would never lower my standers so much to be with you. You are a slut and you dont deserve me. I know if I was back home, you would date me in a second. And you know what after what I just said, and I was there this second you would still date me, cause I could sweet talk you even after calling you a fucking slut, I can still sweet talk yuo into dating me.

And she started like no no you know what I wouldnt date you. When you first found out and I was crying I would have done anything to date you, and have you back, but after seeing this side of you, dealing with this in the way you are and making me feel bad, I would never date you.

And I was like bullshit you would date me in a second if I was back home.

And I know if I was there I could have her, no questions asked, maybe not that second, but she would go home be mad, next day I would call her and she would see me and she would be begging me to take her back. Because she begged before and I know she would now. She just saying this shit that she wouldnt date me cause she knows Iam in a diffrent state and if I wanted to I couldnt.

But I said Iam too good for you, you dont deserve me (sound like a women I know!!!) and you couldnt have me no matter how bad you wanted it cause I dont date sluts and thats what you are.

She started saying something. And I was like no no I been wanted to say that and I feel good after saying it Iam not going to let you say anything to make me feel bad again, so bye. And she was like no no wait its something else, she was like if you are so much better then me, then why you kiss this girl if you thought we where still together, and I was like that was a kiss, you fucked there guys.

And again I am too good for you, you dont deserve me,.....(pause)... I hope you find someone who cares and loves you as much as I did, cause no matter how much I hate you right now for what you did, I still want you to be happy and I want you to find someone who loves you and would do anything for you the way I was, and just remmeber dont sleep with a guy before you date him, if you do he will not respect you and if he does deside to date you it wont last, and he really wont respect you.

So again you dont deserve me, I would never date you and I just need to stop calling you answering your calles and not see you and Iam weak for not doing that but ..... its just that I love you so damn much.



And we talked for alittle more, and I kept saying the you dont deserve me Iam too good for you shit over and over again, but we talked she kepts asking me if we can still be friends, and I kept hinting at no. But I never said no, so she said Tik yes or no do you want me to call you or are you ganna call me or are we never going to talk or see each other again.

And I told her the rational person in me wants to say No never call me I never want to see you again.

But Iam going to say do what you feel, thats what Iam going to do. If I get a girl that I love and care about Iam not going to call you or talk to you, but as much as I say I wont right now, if I am sad and deperess Iam probably going to call you cause Iam weak. So do how you feel.

She said she is going to call me, and she wants to see me when I fly to my hometown, in a week, and that she will always love me, and will always be my friend. I told her I dont know if I can be her friend I will have to see how I feel in time. But I love you too.

She: I love you!

ME: I love you too. Ill talk to you later.

She: Ill call you later.

Me:Bye

She: Bye

I know I might sound like an egoist for saying shit like you dont deserve me and Iam too good for you.

But I know Iam not perfect, but I have alot to offer a girl. Iam not a praety boy and I dont get the "damn he is hot" but Iam a good looking guy, I am no genous but Iam fairly smart. Extremly determened especialy when someone sais I cannot do something, I will do it. I speak three languga, and I lived in 6 diffrent countries, who cares right, well its not a big deal but it just shows that Iam cultured and I am open minded and I can live anywhere in the world. I am a good person, like I had this old man that I would see walking to the store every week on my way to school, and I just couldnt just drive by anymore I started picking him up and giving him a ride cause I felt sorry for him, and at the same time I have my bad boy side, arested for GTA (got it off my record) fights, on both sides of the fist. I would kill or die for my girl and family. So Iam not just some avrage Jo.

And she sais stuff like when I said shit 5 guys Tina. She is like where the avrage for a 25 year old US women is 15 guys. and Iam like you are a third way there and you have 7 years to go is that something to be proud of. Shit why do you have to compare yourself to the avrage. Iam no avrage guy and there is no way Iam going to be with some avrage girl. And I say to her why comepare yourself to that statistic, why not compare yourself to a women who is waiting for marage and she is at 0 and you are at five. She had nothing to say to that.

I guess that is her problem, she compares herself to the worst and thinks to her self, Hey Iam really not bad Iam actually preaty good.

And me I compare myself to the best, and I think I can be better.

And as Iam typing this I realized that is the diffrence between us.

She thinks Iam not bad what does everyone want from me.

I think I can be better, what can I do to improve myself.

But anyways after all the mean shit I said to her in todays convo, I know she if Iam there with her, she will be mine in a second. But I would never date a girl like her. And I will never date her. Ill get back to her on being friends I dont know.

I am still going to answere her calls, and Iam still ganna see here when I fly up there.

And I dont know if Iam going to call her.

But we shall see what tomorrow has in store for us. Maybe I will meet a girl, that is more beautiful then my X, and we will hit it off and I will love her and trust her with all my heart and she will feel the same towards me. And I will forget this hellish week. And be able to be friends with my X who was my best friend, my girlfriend, my reason to be a better person, my anti-drug, my love for the past 3 years.



[This message has been edited by Tikolx333 (edited 12-06-2004).]

You just got pwned.

i can understand the anger u feel, because your ego iz kikkin the sh!t out ov u, and i've had the same situation 2, but she cheated on u because u weren't what she needed anymore. she's lookin out 4 her needz like all normal sellfish ppl do.

as men, we have this mentality that we are perfect, and want 2 b the casanova perfect male 4 women, but 2 them, it'z never enuff.

well, truth iz, almost none ov us are.

be a man. 4get this bitch and get a new 1.

^^ And you seriously have to learn to type.

DUMP. HER. NOW.

quote:Originally posted by Player1:

DUMP. HER. NOW.



Working on it bro. Easier said then done, I know that first hand now. Its hard to just forget all the good times with her and not think about them and then think about her and those guys and feel shitty.

But Iam working on it, its just after 3 years so many things remind me of her. Too many things, and I am tring hard to find me a new girl, just not easy.

By the way any girls living in South Florida and might be interested in chillin.

quote:Originally posted by Tikolx333:



Its hard to just forget all the good times with her and not think about them and then think about her and those guys and feel shitty. But Iam working on it, its just after 3 years so many things remind me of her.

By the way any girls living in South Florida and might be interested in chillin.

To this day I can't eat a Cherry ripe w/out thinking of an ex and that sucks b/c I love Cherry ripes. We don't want them to but they (ex's) have this impact on our lives even after they've gone. However I have to admit that thinking of the good times makes dark days all that much more tolerable.

Man, if I wasn't stuck here on campus and ... well an ocean away I'd have to take you up on your offer (if you would accept that is :P). I'm so damn bored and even though I live with people some people are just too "boring", nice enough but boring. Kind of reminds me of the Sims really. How their energy levels decrease so much more when people they don't enjoy are around - man I need to get out more!

Anyway Tik I was just thinking about how you said it's hard to forget the good times. I was wondering (and plz this might not makes sense but bear with me) if you're still thinking about the bad do you wonder if staying with her now might get rid of all those happy memories b/c slowly your mind would start to be filled with the tenseness of starting again and being with her would just keep reminding you of the bad. Is it better to end it amicably? Maybe when you need you can call and she can call and maybe eventually your hurt will have healed, you'll have moved on and you will still have your happy memories - somewhat marred, but still there.

Just a thought anyway. Silly chick logic maybe.

quote:Originally posted by Sykadelic:

To this day I can't eat a Cherry ripe w/out thinking of an ex and that sucks b/c I love Cherry ripes. We don't want them to but they (ex's) have this impact on our lives even after they've gone. However I have to admit that thinking of the good times makes dark days all that much more tolerable.

Man, if I wasn't stuck here on campus and ... well an ocean away I'd have to take you up on your offer (if you would accept that is :P). I'm so damn bored and even though I live with people some people are just too "boring", nice enough but boring. Kind of reminds me of the Sims really. How their energy levels decrease so much more when people they don't enjoy are around - man I need to get out more!

Anyway Tik I was just thinking about how you said it's hard to forget the good times. I was wondering (and plz this might not makes sense but bear with me) if you're still thinking about the bad do you wonder if staying with her now might get rid of all those happy memories b/c slowly your mind would start to be filled with the tenseness of starting again and being with her would just keep reminding you of the bad. Is it better to end it amicably? Maybe when you need you can call and she can call and maybe eventually your hurt will have healed, you'll have moved on and you will still have your happy memories - somewhat marred, but still there.

Just a thought anyway. Silly chick logic maybe.

An ocean away. Where you at? But yeah thats the kind of stuff that scares me, like things that I love and years from now when I see thotse thnings they will remind me of my x and I will feel sad. I hope that doesnt happen.

If I find someone as much as I love my X then I will be fine. Things like that wont bother me, if Iam with a girl that I care as much as I cared about my x.

So right now Iam trying to date people. But Iam not really sure how to go about doing it. Cause its been a while since I been looking for a girlfriend. And I really not sure, do I just ask every girl at my college that I find cute for her phone number and take her out. Or what should I go places, or Iam trying this online website, lol myspace.com, I know its wierd by Iam down for trying anything right now.

http://www.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewProfile&friendID=5963943&Mytoken=20041206220538

But offer still up if girls in the area of SW Florida AIM me. BadTigz26 and dont laugh at my sn I had it since middle school. But yeah IAM me, we can chat and see what happens.

Updates?

Bump

Well after our last convo which is one post back nothing has really happened. I havent talked to her. She called once I was doing something, then I called she doesnt pick up. So we havent really talked since.

But I am feeling much better. I am doing preaty good with not thinking about her.

And today I went into a store to get her something and I there was a beautiful girl working there. I asked her what I should get for a chick, and she suggested somethings so I walked out.

But then as I was walking around the mall, Iam like what the fuck. What do I have to loose. So I went back there, and I ask her for a price of something so she tells me and starts talking about it, and after shes done, I am like actually I came in here to ask your name. So she told me and we chated for like 5 min, and I found out she had a bf, so I was like alright, well I was ganna she if you wanted to do something later on but since you have a bf Ill come back in a couple of weeks to see if you are still taken, (jokingly) and so I left. ALthough I didnt really get a number or a date, but I felt really good cause that was the first time I asked a random girl if she wanted to hang out, and a girl that hot. So I was really proud of myself and walked around more and finaly got a number, so Iam ganna call her up on Friday we are ganna chill this weekend.

But yeah I am on AIM right now and my X is on and she is not IAMing me and Iam not either. And really I dont care. Cause if I was her I would have done the same. Its just its easier for a girl to get laid, thats prolly why Iam so mad. Cause I was here and I wasnt looking to hook up or date, I said if I fall in love then what ever I cant stop that, but I didnt go out of my way to chill with women and hook up and she did and I think thats whay pissed me off. But I cant blame her I would have done the same. And I feel better now.

I know when I go there she will call me and want to see me and hag and hang out and want me to stay the night at her place. And I will probably do all that its just I hope I wont get so mad that I wont see her. Cause I do want to its just that I can control myself and not get really pissed.

And mornings are the worst but as the day goes on and I interact with people it gets better.

Hey more update for who ever might still be reading this. So yesterday she finaly IMed me and told me to call her cause her celly has been dead all day. So I did, and we started talking and again we talked for about 2 and a half hours. But this time I didnt get mad.

Twice I got preaty close to being mad, cause she thinks she can start joking about our situtation, doesnt quite realize this shit is still eating me up inside. So I started getting mad. The rist time she changed the subject, and it worked preaty well the second time, she said you should yell at me, and I was like now that doesnt solve anything and she changed the subject. Talking about the good all times.

We talked about the first summer we spent together as a couple.

That first summer, her partents didnt get home untill like 8 from like 6 in the morning so I was there all day and we would go to my house at 7 and she would be there till like 1 or 2 or the night. So that summer we had soooo much sex, we did not even put the cloths back on. So we talked about this and talked about the old times. That summer was the best summer ever we both agreed. We spent every minute together and like I said so much sex we did not even put cloths back on, there was no point we would have sex go down stares start watching tv and just start touching each other again and sex in the living room, then breakfast and as she was making it we started touching each other and sex in the kitchen. After eating we would go somewhere and usually come back preaty soon to have some more sex and then one more time at my house. And that happened preaty often. On avrage that summer we had sex 3 times a day. On avrage. So some days more some days less.

And that kind of stuff I think, how am I going to have that experience with another women. That was young love and lust and experimenting. So I dont I hope I have many more summers like that where I have so much sex that I actually start thinking "Am I having too much sex, is this healthy?" LOL

So we talked about stuff like that and he our kisses where perfect. And she was like I thought it was just me that thought you where a good kisser, but Iam glad you feel the same way. And we both agreed that we havnt kissed anyone else and it was that good. And I can tell you for a fact, of all the girls I made out, no other girl can kiss like that.

And I told her when I find a girl who kisses like you Iam ganna keep her.

Cause kissing is a big deal and so far no one has.

But we also talked about the arragment and where Iam going to sleep. I told her Iam ganna be staying at my cousins but she said that if I want I can stay at her place. And I said in your room with you, and she was like only if you want to, but if not I understant but I want you too.

And we chatted more and I was like "Hey Iam bringing those coupons you gave me on our last aneversary and Iam going to use them." They are like love coupons where its like, back massage, or break fast in bed, or slow sensual love making. Just things like that, and I am like I am going to use them and if you dont follow through Iam going to sue you for breach of contract. And we laughed.

And I dont really remember how it all went, but I kept on hinting at that Iam going to use these coupons, and she kept saying things being a tease and Iam like you can say it. Its sexy when you do.

And she is like I wanna have sex with you and I cant wait till you get here and we can have some real fun.

And we talked about how Iam going to do my best not to get mad and you have to watch what you say not to piss me off, or make a stupid joke. And Iam afraid that I might get mad and never see you the entire time Iam there then regret it. And she was like I am not going to let you leave mad, and I am going to make you see me. And she was all forcefull, and all like "You will not leave mad, and you will see me." And I will be understanding and do my best to keep you happy. And I said I will do my best to just not think about it and deny it and try to have fun.

And she was like Iam miss you and I cant wait to see you and I said I miss you too, and I have been looking forward to seeing you all semester.

We said our I love yous and went to sleep.

Sounds like you're coming back together. Since you're over it now I don't think you should follow through on the fuck-3-girls thing. That still doesn't make any sense.

this is a very LONG thread!

quote:Originally posted by Cybernetico:

Sounds like you're coming back together. Since you're over it now I don't think you should follow through on the fuck-3-girls thing. That still doesn't make any sense.



No I dont know why you think that. We are not getting back together. And I tell her all the time I can never be with her.

And Iam not getting over it. Iam just dealing with it and trying to pretend that it never happened and not think about it.

Plus I want to go to Seattle and have fun and not just be pissed off and upset all the time.

So I will never date her. At least not in the next two years. And see the fucking three girls it will make me feel better. But Iam not that kinda guy. I dont just fuck girls, I always have a connection and I try to make it special, even if I just meet the girl that week, I still try to make it special not just drunk fucking.

But Iam going to do it to make myself feel better. And Iam going to try to date people. And maybe I will find some awsome girl.

We will see after Seattle I will keep updating. Maybe after Seattle I will be able to forget her easier.

Hey I finaly got a pick of myself on there. Check it out, tell me Iam an ugly loser. Aaaaaaaah I need a good cry. *Tear. JK

But yeah check it out and Iam me maybe we can chat.

http://www.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewProfile&friendID=5963 943&Mytoken=20041206220538 (http://www.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewProfile&friendID=5963943&Mytoken=20041206220538)

[This message has been edited by Tikolx333 (edited 12-09-2004).]

Bump this thang. its too long to let it die. People post your own similar problems.

Have fun in Seattle Tikolx333...

This thing is still going on?

Fuck, man, read a god damn book, pick up a coke habit, do fucking something other then bitch just shut the fuck up about it already.

quote:Originally posted by I_Like_Traffic_Lights:

This thing is still going on?

Fuck, man, read a god damn book, pick up a coke habit, do fucking something other then bitch just shut the fuck up about it already.

Okay...everybody who wants this thread to die...keep posting here....

quote:Originally posted by outcast:

Okay...everybody who wants this thread to die...keep posting here....



Hey, hey, HEY!...........good point, I apologize

quote:Originally posted by I_Like_Traffic_Lights:

Hey, hey, HEY!...........good point, I apologize

Haha dumbass. Why would I want to pick up a book when I can bitch on totse, and get flamed by you.

Thanx outcast I will have fun in Seattle, I hope. Iam planing on droping 100 bucks on alchy soI will be set. Everytime I get sad about my girl Ill get drunk and have sex with her.

Glad to hear you finally got that harpy's claws out of you. Fuck that bitch. She's no good for you, and anybody that fucks three other people while committed to someone is astoundingly cold hearted and ignorant. It was shocking for me to hear people on this message board condone her actions(deadlycindy) of blatantly cheating multiple times. Condoning her actions because she is a woman is even worse. Those people should be ashamed(deadlycindy). If I were you I would cut her out completely, block her off aim, phone, etc. You were loyal to her, and she tried to take advantage of it, and would have gotten away with it. Hopefully satan will rape her for all eternity in the lowest circle of hell, the one reserved for TRAITORS.

Yea. Girls/Women will always deceive. I just met a very pretty girl last nigt. Really amazing other than the fact she's a hoe. I mean very pretty. She was in my room letting two guys fondle all over her. One she was "talking" to and he said he didn't care if I fucked her because he knew she wanted to fuck me.

She drops him off and Im still with her. He gets out the car and says "just wear a condom when you fuck her".

I used 3 rubbers on her. Philthy slut. But is she? She's just taming her natural feelings, who else is to fulfill them when you aren't around?

There probably few good, trust worthy girls out there. Just as girls think theres few trust worthy guys out there. We're all in the same boat. Looking for that trust worthy person even though we know we couldn't be trusted with 1 million dollars that wasnt ours.

quote:Originally posted by OneMulatto:

Yea. Girls/Women will always deceive. I just met a very pretty girl last nigt. Really amazing other than the fact she's a hoe. I mean very pretty. She was in my room letting two guys fondle all over her. One she was "talking" to and he said he didn't care if I fucked her because he knew she wanted to fuck me.

She drops him off and Im still with her. He gets out the car and says "just wear a condom when you fuck her".

I used 3 rubbers on her. Philthy slut. But is she? She's just taming her natural feelings, who else is to fulfill them when you aren't around?

There probably few good, trust worthy girls out there. Just as girls think theres few trust worthy guys out there. We're all in the same boat. Looking for that trust worthy person even though we know we couldn't be trusted with 1 million dollars that wasnt ours.



I had to leave your whole post there as I just couldn't decide which part wasn't needed for my comment.

My first reaction SHIT! Man, I KNOW there are chicks like that out there but I'm glad you clarified that we're not ALL like that. Though I have to ask. If you think she's a hoe, and a "filthy hoe" at that then why did you sleep with her? You're helping MAKE people like her. She might have already been like that but condoning her behaviour is only making it worse. Us chicks seeing guys behave like that doesn't make us think you're trustworthy and instead promotes what most chicks think... that guys only want us for sex and are unable to commit. I'm willing to bet your excuse for sleeping with her is "she wanted it", "she's hot", and "I felt like it. I don't have a gf so why does it matter"... so you think your next gf won't worry that you're going to sleep with the next "hot thing" that'll walk past seeing you can't keep it in your pants when it's on offer? Sheesh!

I'm sorry. It just astounds me that you can sound so righteous and yet... well you get my drift. Oh and it's obvious you were bragging. I'll feign interest....now. OMG you're like SOOO lucky for having had sex with this hot chick. I bet you're so lucky that no-one else has had sex with her either and she picked you especially to "give" herself to. Very sweet. Congrats... *rolls eyes*

And Player 1... What can I say. LOVED your comments. Summed it up nicely I think while keeping a little "light" in mood.

Tik: Sounds like you're doing dandy. Keep us posted and yeah, have fun!

Ok well I was doing good, cause I was dealing with it and she fucked things up but I thought we can still be friends, cause well I am no saint either when it comes to that, just never 3 in 3 mounths. But I was dealing with it.

Untill I started thinking. Since I am going there on the 12th and I am going to be staying at her place. The best thing about having sex with her was not using a rubber, cause I would take her to get the shot, or she was always on the pill.

So I was looking forward to that, but then shit I remembered she fucked three guys. So we talked and she is like I used protection no question about it. Yes I did for sure. And I still wasnt believing her, but I was getting here cause I thought shes stupid but not that stupid. So she had me believing and then she said "Me and Hillary went and got tested and everything was fine." She said that to make me feel better but Iam no dumbass. I start thinking and I ask her, why the fuck did you go get tested if you used protection. She was like well you can get STD's while using a condom so I went and got tested. And I was like no if you used a condom you cant get an STD. So Iam still not sure if you can or not.

But it is driving me nuts, cause I really want to have her without a condom, but I dont know. I really want to bang her the first night Iam there but I want both of us go get tested. So I dont know, if I can trust her to use protection eeverytime.

You all ganna say get tested before you do anything I know. And I prolly will, but its not as much as if she has STD, she prolly doesnt but more of if she let those guys fuck her with no rubber. Cause that was my thing, and more ego stuff, Iam ganna stop typing. Iam ganna go to Seattle, Iam ganna have fun hopefully not get anyhting and then things will get alot alot esier.

i hope you are good in writing cause you could wright about this bullshit for pages without getting tired. You got me into it too you had me reading the whole time. If you ever wrote a novel id buy it. God how the fuck do you wright so much about a bitch who fuxcked you over and will prolly do it again. There are always temtations and unlike you she is easily decieved.

someone can truly love you and fuck you over at the same time there are weak people and there are strong and you should be thankful that you are strong

You're still going to fuck her after all this bitching?

Where's your self-respect man?

Bah, why do I still care? Why did I ever care? Tequila take me away from this horrible place, it's time for a margarita extrrrrrrrrrravaganze.

quote:Originally posted by stealth_bio's return:

i hope you are good in writing cause you could wright about this bullshit for pages without getting tired. You got me into it too you had me reading the whole time. If you ever wrote a novel id buy it. God how the fuck do you wright so much about a bitch who fuxcked you over and will prolly do it again. There are always temtations and unlike you she is easily decieved.

LOL I love writing off the top of my head. Always wanted to be a writed. What do you mean by "There are always temtations and unlike you she is easily decieved." You saying she got decieved by the other guys. I think she knew exactly what she was doing.

Oh and some funny stuff happened last night. I had a girl over that I like and thinking of dating, and we where all into it and ready to ya know and I had this girl all ready, and she was going to you know, right at that moment as she started, the phone rang and it was my X lol. I turned off my phone but still it killed the mood. Aaaaaaaaaaah. It was crazy, she left a message like why you turned of your phone (cause it goes straight to the machine) and I told her I was with a girl and I didnt want the be bothered. Shes like you hooking up, I was like non of your biz. She sounded all upset (I was loving it) and we talked more and we got done with her saying I love you, I miss you cant wait to see you, and me saying same I love you miss you.

Life is so fucked up I tell you. But I like this new girl I have here, at first it wasnt anything much, I actually thought she was with me to get a point to her bf, but no she broke up with him and wants to be with me, and I like her too and I think we are going to date. Exciting. My goal for this thread is 200, real posts not just one word stuff. And then I think Iam ganna print it all out and turn it into a book so I can sell it to stealth. For you buddy.

i mean there are temptations in life and some people avoid them amd some people are cyrious and you are one that could stay away

i would buy your book and after reading it i would take a pill for the headache i would have

love you too wtf

fuck this other one and get her off your ass

quote:Originally posted by I_Like_Traffic_Lights:

You're still going to fuck her after all this bitching?

Where's your self-respect man?

Bah, why do I still care? Why did I ever care? Tequila take me away from this horrible place, it's time for a margarita extrrrrrrrrrravaganze.

Iam not ganna fuck her, if the moment is right Iam ganna make love to her. Cuase I still have feelings for her, and I been waiting to be with her and make love to her for months now, and I still want to. And again we had an off and on relationship. Mostly me breaking up with her cause I didnt think I liked her and during that time during the break ups I had about 6 girls. So I dont know, the thing is though I did that when we where broken up, but when I came to Florida we never broke up. So I dont know. I still love her and want to make love to her, and we are going to spend as much time together as we can. And Iam going to get alot of alchy and be drunk most of the time in Seattle. So Iam looking forward to a 10 day, relaxing drinking seeing old freinds and I think seeing my X for the last time. Its going to be really hard to leave. Ill keep you all updated although most of you couldnt care less, this is just my way of getting things off my chest, so you dont have to read it if you dont want to. But you have to admit its alittle interesting to see how fucked up other people are (me) makes you feel better about yourself right?

quote:Originally posted by stealth_bio's return:

i would buy your book and after reading it i would take a pill for the headache i would have

love you too wtf

fuck this other one and get her off your ass



Man you confuse me, fuck this other one get her off your ass? What does that mean you mean my new girl that broke up with her X to be with me. And I dont really get what you mean with the temptation and something about me staying away. But its all good dont worry about it if you dont want to explane it.

[This message has been edited by Tikolx333 (edited 12-11-2004).]

she has you in her grip and she will take advantage



buddy

quote:Originally posted by stealth_bio's return:

she has you in her grip and she will take advantage



buddy



What my X? She cant take advantage of me, I dont see how she can. I dont care about money, I dont see how else she can.

greed+evil=women

evil+deceit=women

understand

this back and forth stuff is funny

quote:Originally posted by stealth_bio's return:

greed+evil=women

evil+deceit=women

understand



I dont know about greed

but evil+deceit=women, with out a doubt that was the point of this thread.

I dont know if its possible to find a women that will be loyal to you no matter what. I really hope so.

so you gonna fuck her for one last time



i hope her pussy is still good i bet she said she loved you on the phone with some guy laughing on the side

quote:Originally posted by stealth_bio's return:

so you gonna fuck her for one last time



i hope her pussy is still good i bet she said she loved you on the phone with some guy laughing on the side

Naw thats not funny, I know there was no guy there, cause first she isnt in college she is back home with her rents, second she was driving in her car to work.

But shit I have done that, kissing a girl all over when she is ass naked, while she is talking on the phone with her BF. But I know my girl would never do that. I know I was freaking out when I found out but I wasnt surprised at all. I knew this would happen to her when she went to college, and the way our relationship was strained when I left. I know exactly what happened with her and those guys, it wasnt like what happened with me and my girl here. Those other guys she was just trying to replace me. And plus everytime we talk its like for 2 hours, so if a guy is there I feel sorry for him he has to sit around for 2 hours listening to her crying on the phone, and aplogizing and telling me how much she loves me and how she misses me.

any girl could fake that (bunch of bitches)

she has you my friend

MY GIRL

MY GIRL

YOU SAID MY GIRL

[QUOTE]Originally posted by Tikolx333:

But I know my girl would never do that. [



she gots you

quote:Originally posted by stealth_bio's return:

any girl could fake that (bunch of bitches)

she has you my friend

MY GIRL

MY GIRL

YOU SAID MY GIRL



She cant fake it like that for that long man. I know when she is bullshiting me. She cannot lie to me thats why I find everything out. And yeah she is my girl, whats wrong with that. She doesnt have me, I am just doing what makes me happy. And Iam not sure what makes me happy so Iam going to do what I think makes me happy, and from now on Iam going to look out for ME and no one else. Iam going to keep myself happy and at least 2 gf at a time.

isnt this back and forth shit funny

so you are going to have to gf at a time

lol thats kewl

are you black?

quote:Originally posted by stealth_bio's return:

isnt this back and forth shit funny

Most definatly, its like AIM but totse. But we are done, Ill post later. I leave for Seattle on Sunday, aw isht.

quote:Originally posted by stealth_bio's return:

so you are going to have to gf at a time

lol thats kewl

are you black?

No why you ask me that. Iam not a playa, I know that but I think I can have 2 girls at a time, and it will keep my feelings safe.

quote:Originally posted by stealth_bio's return:

greed+evil=women

evil+deceit=women

understand

I swear no-one reads my posts or you wouldn't be saying shit like this. I'm a little ashamed for our entire sex if that's how guys think about us, and judging from this forum then there are a lot of guys that think like this. There are SOME chicks who are like this but stop lumping us all in. In my experience guys have this tendency to pick chicks that are high maintenance b/c they're hotter sometimes but usually SO lacking in brains and sense. Now I will also clarify and say there are some smart hot chicks but usually ALL high maintenance so you bring it on yourself!

Anyway I'm distracted by something else so I'll go now.

*sigh..love...

quote:Originally posted by Firecracker:

*sigh..love...

Yes. Love. To be there again. Divine.

quote:Originally posted by stealth_bio's return:

greed+evil=women

evil+deceit=women

understand

AGREED