Alright, one of my friends, that I have a crush on, has a hard time talking to people. He's very anti-social until he is on the internet, then he talks non-stop. I love talking to him, he's the best person to talk to about problems, him AND his brother, but it's sorta hard when I like him too. People have told me that he likes me but doesn't know how to show it and thats why hes so shy around me.

Over the internet he asked me to go watch him bowl in a tournament, he loves bowling. So I sat and watched all the different people bowl, and you could tell he was nervous from the time he saw me until the time I left. He made up the excuse though later that night on AIM that his wrist was hurting him or whatever. He's so adorable, but yet I can't get him to open up and show me the real him.

How do I go about doing this? There is something there, but I don't know how to get it to happen. Please help, any suggestions, simliar stories, etc. Anything.. thank you, and your help is greatly appreciated.

I have the same problem with people. There is absolutely nothing you can do about this. This is his problem. I bet even after you are freinds with him for a year boyfreind/girlfriend whatever, he might lighten up a bit, but not let his gaurd down compltely. It has a lot to do with his past/how he was raised. Just continue to show interest. Talk to him on the internet some. That's where you will get the juicy information so-to-say.

I think totse, and the internet in general, is full of people like your friend.

Be persistent, but keep a polite distance and allow him his space. I'm rather anti-social myself, and I can't speak for others, but I always appreciate the effort people make. When I feel "crowded" or "rushed" I back off really quick. I eventually open up to those who make an appearance, then go away, then pop back in often.

If you are sure that he likes you, then i would suggest just plain telling him that you know and that you like him too..or maybe just telling him that you like him..

That'd really make the fuckers day.

Shittie

excatly, just tell him, for fuckssake

I think cindy hit the nail on the head.

Give him his space, but make sure he knows that you are still aware that he is around.

there are ppl who r shy then there are ones who prefer not. he's not afrraid to talk to you. he's just afriad of the consequence.

he needs confidence. he needs to hear good comments. nuff' said

Speaking from experience on this subject, when you are out bowling with him, or even in public he will tend to act more shy and introverted. If you can get him to come over and hang out alone with you (no parents, no siblings) and do something he will almost for sure open up. Try doing something competitive with him that you would probably both be equal at so there is good competition. You'd be surprised how people who appear shy can become cocky and confident when it comes to competition in a game or something like that.

I'd suggest things like Air Hockey, maybe Video Games, if he is smaller than you or your size, wrestle , umm laser tag(?)... I don't know, be creative you get the picture.

quote:Originally posted by ShitFace:

If you are sure that he likes you, then i would suggest just plain telling him that you know and that you like him too..or maybe just telling him that you like him..

That'd really make the fuckers day.

Shittie

Right on the fuckin nailhead

I'm not going to bother reading that.

Unless you mean 'open up' in the Goa­tse sense.

We are both really little. I don't fit into the "Juniors" sizes yet (I do eat mind you) and I am like 5'1", and hes about 5'5" and skinny. I have tried to ask him to a movie or whatnot serveral times, but hes like "I am going bowling" or "I dont know, maybe." I talk to his brother all the time, they are too totally opposite people, and he said that his brother is like that because he doesn't want to look stupid or whatever. The only thing he really is into is bowling. He's WAY competitive at that, but the problem is I suck at bowling. He gets a perfect score of 300 with gutters and I get a 33 lol. OH and magic... like the card thingys, he likes to play that. I am gonna learn how to play Tuesday, yes I know your probably thinking DORK but, if it's a way to get him to talk to me, then sure I will waste an hours time trying to learn a card game. But I feel like hes gonna wig out, so it's only gonna be his brother there, which is ok. Help? Suggestions? Is this a good idea? What else can I do?

his problemn is personal communication. face to face is too intense, and hes afraid of being found out. the guys holding back alot.

in truth, hes lready been outted. but our dealing with a person who consdrs himself so unlikable hes hidin all the time, and whts more, he prolly is throttling his urges for companionship.

only fuck with him if youre ready to go all the way. cause in one moment you can solidify all the fears he has.

LOL a hour to learn magic, takes about a week ot fully understand it, the nill sell you my whole 3 year colection for 100 dollers

[This message has been edited by celbii (edited 08-16-2004).]

quote:Originally posted by sarcastic_lover:

We are both really little. I don't fit into the "Juniors" sizes yet (I do eat mind you) and I am like 5'1", and hes about 5'5" and skinny. I have tried to ask him to a movie or whatnot serveral times, but hes like "I am going bowling" or "I dont know, maybe." I talk to his brother all the time, they are too totally opposite people, and he said that his brother is like that because he doesn't want to look stupid or whatever. The only thing he really is into is bowling. He's WAY competitive at that, but the problem is I suck at bowling. He gets a perfect score of 300 with gutters and I get a 33 lol. OH and magic... like the card thingys, he likes to play that. I am gonna learn how to play Tuesday, yes I know your probably thinking DORK but, if it's a way to get him to talk to me, then sure I will waste an hours time trying to learn a card game. But I feel like hes gonna wig out, so it's only gonna be his brother there, which is ok. Help? Suggestions? Is this a good idea? What else can I do?

First off, Magic is an awesome game and anyone who calls you a dork because you play, then they are jerkoffs... But back to your problem if you talk to his brother, ask him if he will you two alone, so its just the two you... Im sure he's a reasonable guy... But yeah like some else said, if you get him alone he'll open up, and if is teaching you how to play then he is in a better position so to speak... So, in closings ask his brother to be conviently busy at the time, and you should be set...

~Raven~

I was thinking to START TO LEARN stupid, not learn it all. That's impossible because there is alot to that game. *rolls eyes* Sorry for the misunderstanding.

well its still gunna take awhole lot longer then a hour to learn the start of it, and i wouldent bother if u dont wanna learn how to accctuly play it

Tell him that you enjoy talking to him, but hate going through the internet to do so because of the amount of typing and distractions that can come with it. If he's reluctant to talk face to face, you can always start off slowly by talking over the phone.

quote:Originally posted by Nihilism:

his problemn is personal communication. face to face is too intense, and hes afraid of being found out. the guys holding back alot.

in truth, hes lready been outted. but our dealing with a person who consdrs himself so unlikable hes hidin all the time, and whts more, he prolly is throttling his urges for companionship.

only fuck with him if youre ready to go all the way. cause in one moment you can solidify all the fears he has.

I think Nihilism hit the nail on the head myself. If you really like him and aren't going to go breaking his heart down the road because that could really screw him up then let him know how you feel. I used to have this same problem although not quite to the same extent and it has gotten better now since I realized the people that don't accept me I really don't want anything to do with anyway.

Yea I already tried talking to him over the phone, but it didn't work out to well. He just gave yes/no or 3 word answers the whole time. I think it was because my cousin was on another phone listening though. Should I try again just talking him and me, no cousin?

arf uh gee well i don't know

"I dont know" is my favorite thing to say

I kinda think a little bit of what everyone had to say... just keep a little close distance, talk to him but make sure he is comfertable (sp?) with it all. Also, if it is just you and him, I think he would be more social. I used to really be like that... lol. im still kinda an anti-social kid who is still she around girls, and im 15 *holds head in shame* go for it... lol

While I hate to be immature or crude, after you sleep with a guy, they just stop being nervous, the chances are he likes you, so just ask him to come have dinner/whatever, and just let it lead on to what it leads onto

Goodluck.

quote:Originally posted by SmartTart:

I kinda think a little bit of what everyone had to say... just keep a little close distance, talk to him but make sure he is comfertable (sp?) with it all. Also, if it is just you and him, I think he would be more social. I used to really be like that... lol. im still kinda an anti-social kid who is still she around girls, and im 15 *holds head in shame* go for it... lol

He's fifteen too, and still hasn't matured. It's ok though I guess, because I hung out with him uptown today and going to the football game on Friday. Alot of my friends think hes asexual lol, but I talked to him best friend and he said that he will only talk to people he feels comfortable with. Also that he would be just fine sitting infront of his computer all day. He will talk when he wants attention, and I guess he wanted attention today. He flirts in his own little way I think, because I would be talking to his brother and then all of a sudden he would come sit down in the chair near mine with a book, and read out loud, or walk by and try to get attention. I think its cute, but in a way I wish he wouldn't play the silly little games to get attention. I wish he would just come up and talk to me afront (or whatever).

Anything you can add on to that would be wonderful. I was thinking about asking him to go on a walk Friday night at the football game since we don't really watch it anyways. What do you think?

Go for it. You don't have to mention it beforehand, you might "intimidate" the guy, but just ask him sometime during the football, as your about to leave, during a boring part etc. Be spontanous about it.