I don't know if this is the right place to ask for advice... but i'll ask anyway.

(it may be a mistake to ask this...)

The one i love, adore... i feel i couldn't live without him... he wants to leave me and i'm afraid he did!!!

I desperately love him....

I don't want to lose him...as if i did everything to stop him; he doesn't want to talk to me.

I really don't know what to do...

I need advice...

ps. he mean everything to me!!!!

pps. I know he may give me the answer i am looking for, but he doesn't want to talk to me!



ppps. he says he loves me and that's the saddest thing because i love him, he loves me, but things tend to be over!! I know i made a mistake and hurt him (he hurt me once too, but i forgave him), but now i beg him to forgive me... and nothing!

What was your mistake ?

he made me sad about one thing and i couldn't help saying what i thought about it. i knew that this would hurt him, but i wanted to make him feel like i felt. (well, i forgot how he hurt me)

i don't think that my mistake is bigger than his.

once i behaved like a child, i was immature at that moment and he didn't like that at all... but how could this be the reason to leave me??? i know there is another reason (which i will not say - it's too private) but he knows that it's immature of him (i know him well) to think that this could be a serious reason to say goodbye.

i know he doesn't want to say goodbye, but the problem is that he's trying to think reasonably, and don't let himself to his feelings...

got AIM ? This stuff is kind of hard to get hammered out in a thread.

Even if you love eachother, and even if there was never a problem or harsh words spoken between you, there are very few men on this planet who wouldn't get creeped out by clingy girls/women.

(some guys may like it, i guess, but most run the other way when you start saying things like "means everything to me" and "can't live without him")

You were born naked and alone, and you will die that way. So don't convince yourself that you are half a person without him.

Stand up tall, and if the curtains are closing and it's the end, take it with dignity.

(also, if it's just a stupid fight between you, standing back and giving him time to think- MORE than 45 min!- will make him more likely to come back to you).

quote:Originally posted by Tabiba:



You were born naked and alone, and you will die that way. So don't convince yourself that you are half a person without him.



oh, that's very sad...

although it's true...

and when one is in love he always feels half a person. i know that feeling, but i also know that this man made me feel like no one had ever made me feel!!!

Hmm, well, just follow your heart, and give him space. Is it OK to approach him? Yes, but not right now. I think you need to sit down with him and say something along the lines of "I really care about you, and I want to be with you, but if you don't want to be with me...it's just that I would rather make you happy. If at all possible, I wanna go out with you, but if it isn't possible, can we still be friends?"

Although some people can't be friends with someone they love dearly but yet can't be with, I can, so it works good for me. You just have to find what works for you, because everyone is different. There is one person/thing that will ALWAYS give you good advice, and that's your heart. It's always telling you what to do, maybe you should listen to it sometime. If you truly love him, then tell him, but don't say shit like "I can't live without you" or anything like that, because fact of the matter is there was life before him, and there will be life after him. It may hurt, yes, but you will get over it.

That brings me to loosing someone that you love. When you loose someone that you love, it seems like it hurts forever: wanting to cry, but tears not coming, empty feeling in your chest, and you feel like nothing will ever be right in the world again. It doesn't last forever, and you will get through it, that's when it takes a good friend. After you go through this, there's what I call a POP, and you realize it isn't the end of the world and you're able to move on.

Well, good luck, and I hope things work out for the better. If need be, contact me on AIM (Discipulus2k) or I can get you my email addy by some other means (I don't trust public forums . . . spam).

Peace and love,

Discipulus

You should just kill yourself my lady. Listen, I've been where you are and let me tell you, it only gets worse. Anti-depressants won't help you either, you are already at the end of your rope so why make yourself suffer any more than is necessary. I wanted to kill myself , but I pussied out and now I have to live with that for the rest of my life. No one should live life as a coward. Suicide is the brave thing to do. However, don't do it by cutting (too much opportunity for it to become an "attempted" suicde), use a gun or a noose or a sword. Yes, a sword is the best way to end one's life, and a most honourable one. Simply stab yourself through the heart, it will be fairly painless (and quick). You appear to have run out of options, and I hope you maake the right decision. No person at your age should force themselves to suffer, when all the agony (and ecstacy) can be ended with a good blade. Now, I'm not saying I want you to end your life, but I do feel that it would be the best decision for a person in your situation to make. No one will think less of you if you do it, and you won't even care... because you'll be dead. Don't be a coward, do the right thing (and use a sword if possible).

quote:Originally posted by chortleborp:

You should just kill yourself my lady. Listen, I've been where you are and let me tell you, it only gets worse. Anti-depressants won't help you either, you are already at the end of your rope so why make yourself suffer any more than is necessary. I wanted to kill myself , but I pussied out and now I have to live with that for the rest of my life. No one should live life as a coward. Suicide is the brave thing to do. However, don't do it by cutting (too much opportunity for it to become an "attempted" suicde), use a gun or a noose or a sword. Yes, a sword is the best way to end one's life, and a most honourable one. Simply stab yourself through the heart, it will be fairly painless (and quick). You appear to have run out of options, and I hope you maake the right decision. No person at your age should force themselves to suffer, when all the agony (and ecstacy) can be ended with a good blade. Now, I'm not saying I want you to end your life, but I do feel that it would be the best decision for a person in your situation to make. No one will think less of you if you do it, and you won't even care... because you'll be dead. Don't be a coward, do the right thing (and use a sword if possible).

First let me say that although you yourself have suffered in the past doesn't give you the right to tell someone you don't know and, who is clearly emotionly upset to go and kill themselves.

If you are trying to be funny,your not. If you want others here to think your an idiot then your succeeding.

If you don't have any advice that would help her then please keep your opinions to yourself.

[This message has been edited by KillSwitch_J (edited 08-11-2004).]

The funny thing about guys, (yes, I do mean all guys) is that they always expect their girlfriends to forgive their transgressions... no matter how big or small, how much pain they cause you they expect you to just forgive them and move on as if nothing has happened...

But the moment you fuck up and cause themn the slightest bit of pain, it's over sister.

... that's life.

i don't know if chortleborb really meant want he said or was trying to be sarcastic, but the problem is that i have thought about what he said many times so far , but i couldn't find the courage to do it. many times i've regreted it that i hadn't done it... but the last year was ok, it was calm... there were no emotions (neither good, nor bad), but then he appeared and made me feel again (one year ago i closed my heart for any emotions, because they always hurt sometimes)... when he appeared i didn't want to let myself to my feelings, but you know, love doesn't ask you if you want to feel or no - it just happens. and now i am wounded again (really badly).

one year ago i said to myself that i would never fall in love again ( and i managed for a whole year)... maybe now i'm sure that if it depends on me i'll never fall in love. i can do it. i can pay no attention to people. i can just talk to them and nothing else.

so, yes, chortleborb, i have thought about what you suggest me do...

ps. by the way when i feel like i feel now i can cry all day, and the next...



and thank you for your advices. they are all worth thinking for.

quote:Originally posted by chortleborp:

You should just kill yourself my lady. Listen, I've been where you are and let me tell you, it only gets worse. Anti-depressants won't help you either, you are already at the end of your rope so why make yourself suffer any more than is necessary. I wanted to kill myself , but I pussied out and now I have to live with that for the rest of my life. No one should live life as a coward. Suicide is the brave thing to do. However, don't do it by cutting (too much opportunity for it to become an "attempted" suicde), use a gun or a noose or a sword. Yes, a sword is the best way to end one's life, and a most honourable one. Simply stab yourself through the heart, it will be fairly painless (and quick). You appear to have run out of options, and I hope you maake the right decision. No person at your age should force themselves to suffer, when all the agony (and ecstacy) can be ended with a good blade. Now, I'm not saying I want you to end your life, but I do feel that it would be the best decision for a person in your situation to make. No one will think less of you if you do it, and you won't even care... because you'll be dead. Don't be a coward, do the right thing (and use a sword if possible).

LMFAO. You said the same exact thing to someone else in another thread. Do you actually have that copied to wordpad or what? hahaha

quote:Originally posted by Sarc*:

The funny thing about guys, (yes, I do mean all guys) is that they always expect their girlfriends to forgive their transgressions... no matter how big or small, how much pain they cause you they expect you to just forgive them and move on as if nothing has happened...

But the moment you fuck up and cause themn the slightest bit of pain, it's over sister.

... that's life.

Sorry to have to disagree with you Sarc*, but no not all men are created equal. The same as all women are not the same. Granted there are some on each side that yes one transgression and it's over.

Then there are others who would let one thing after another go by without saying a word. In the end there are usually factors leading up to a breakup, that those on the outside of the realationship don't know about.

While I don't know all the specifics of your breakup eve. Regardless of how bad it hurts killing oneself isn't the answer. Trust me. I have been where you are now many years ago. Yes I to had similar thoughts about harming myself, but I chose not to, and today I'm glad I didn't. Time will heal the hurt. This to I know first hand.

[This message has been edited by KillSwitch_J (edited 08-11-2004).]

quote:Originally posted by Da Infamous Mobb:

murder/suicide

Idiotic/suggestion

Dear eve_dew,

I once loved a man for ten years without the relationship ever coming to fruition. Love is an exhilaratingly painful experience at times and what I have found is this. Embrace the pain that often accompanies love. Let go of the need for more than he can give. Never let go of the love though. It is a part of you that God places within. You will be able to give that much love and more to someone else later. But for now...embrace the pain and thank God for giving you the capacity to love deeply.

With love and empathy,

Outcast

quote:Originally posted by outcast:

Dear eve_dew,

I once loved a man for ten years without the relationship ever coming to fruition. Love is an exhilaratingly painful experience at times and what I have found is this. Embrace the pain that often accompanies love. Let go of the need for more than he can give. Never let go of the love though. It is a part of you that God places within. You will be able to give that much love and more to someone else later. But for now...embrace the pain and thank God for giving you the capacity to love deeply.

With love and empathy,

Outcast





Nicely put.

I bet its a highschool relasionship.

And i bet your only hung up onhim becausehe was the slightest bit sweet.

Dont you find it the slightet bit ironic that you forgave him and when you did something, he dropped you like a retard with a baby.

Chances are, hes an asshole. Stop clinging, he probly doesnt like you anymore, so give up. he continually tells u he loves you for hope to stop conflict/a bad relasionship with you. either that or incase he might still wanna get in ur pants.

In a nutshell, there is more fish in the sea, get a fucking life.

P.S. - stop saying P.S.

Anyone who takes my advice or even considers the utter nonsense that I spew all over these threads needs a psyche evaluation. Seriously.

If you're suicidal, see a doctor, they will be completely nocritical of you and do everything in their power to help you. If a doctor sees that you even NEED a hug oranything, they will get you one and keep any treatment confidential.

If you can't live for love of life, live for sex, drugs and good times.

No, it's not a school relationship and it's actually much more serious than you think. the problem is that i can't say everything which accompanies the relationship. maybe i have to give up asking because it's VERY complicated. i know why he wants to leave. it's actually for my good. and i understand that, i appreciate it. i even don't think that my mistake is so grave that he would leave me because of it. it's the other thing which i can't say. i can't say it to no one (only to my best friend)....

i know you're right, but i want him to follow his emotions, his feelings, and to forget about his rational thoughts.



[This message has been edited by eve_dew (edited 08-11-2004).]

quote:Originally posted by chortleborp:



If you can't live for love of life, live for sex, drugs and good times.

no, i can't live only for sex, drugs and good times.

i'd better really die if i can't find the true love ( and i think i found it - that's why i don't to lose it now. it had never been more real and true than now. and he knows that).

oh, now i considered how complicated it is.

Seriously, the best thing you can do is just leave it for a while. it'll be really hard and upsetting, but there's no point in crucifying yourself over a man, who seems like a total bastard at the minute.

The best thing to do, in my experience, is to talk about it with your friends, but stay as far away as you can from him, and let things sort themselves out.

quote:Originally posted by boobsy mcfirehazard:

a total bastard

NO, he's not!!

i know why he's doing it...

it's complicated like i said so maybe i don't need more advices.

thanks for the ones posted so far, anyway!