How is it possible that you can still love someone even thou they've hurt you timeously?

Its not infactuation, but a love where u would do almost anything for this person, u can see them in ur life forever.

does that refer to you

if it does

sucks for you

That's an unhealthy relationship based on mainly commitment. I'm gonna go get some more info for you, hold on...

EDIT: maybe "unhealthy" isn't the right word...oh well, need to get more info for you...

[This message has been edited by Green Lantern (edited 08-10-2004).]

c, thiz iz a stupid thred coz 'de spelng iz shit, dis iznt msn n00btastic? o_0

Whoa, I thought for sure this was gonna be another thread with a link to porn with photoshopped huge penii.

Are you saying a relationship should be easier than other non-performing habits, to break? Why? Isn't it easier to take the usual pain, than to start over learning new pains?

Change is hard. That's one way kids turn into old people...doing the same old, over & over & over...especially if it's dumb.

Not uncommon. Notice how all the * Lips Pout * teens are a few years later...no longer with their lips * Softly Parted *?

Wha' happen?

Got it. I learned this in psyche class.

Sternberg's Trianular Theory of Love (http://www.psy.pdx.edu/PsiCafe/Overheads/TriangularLove.htm)

As you can see, there are 8 basic types of love here. You can also have different degrees of each one (I doubt theres any real 100% and 0%). In my psyche book it's colored sorta like a color wheel so you can see the different gradients, but whatever.

Intimacy is what makes you feel comfortable talking and sharing emotions and all that other touchy-feely crap.

Passion is mainly physical. Sexual desires and comfort with your own and each other's bodies fall into this category.

Commitment is the feeling of wanting to stay together. It usually involves a more long term...well "commitment". It's also what takes over and keeps miserable couples together if the other two things wear off.

Look at the chart again for reference to see what the different combinations of the three elements are.

You're right, it's not infatuation. That would be mainly just physical desires.

What you're talking about is toward the "Empty Love" corner of the triangle. A relationship with commitment, but that is lacking in both intimacy and passion. What you want is "Consummate" which involves a physical and emotional bond, and a desire to stay together in the long run.

In an empty relationship, you're pretty much just staying with a person out of habit of being with them.

If you're in an empty relationship, you need to talk with your partner. If you can't work anything out, break up and move on. I've been in an empty relationship before and while it's hard to break up, once you do it you feel great. With the commitment gone, there will be nothing left but you thinking "why didn't I get out sooner?".

Well, I hope this was of some help and if you need some more advice, I've got my psyche book right here.

quote:Originally posted by ZANESGIRL:

How is it possible that you can still love someone even thou they've hurt you timeously?

Its not infactuation, but a love where u would do almost anything for this person, u can see them in ur life forever.

this sounded like a girl i had when i was in 8th grade

cool, thanks, green lantern

quote:Originally posted by ZANESGIRL:

How is it possible that you can still love someone even thou they've hurt you timeously?

Its not infactuation, but a love where u would do almost anything for this person, u can see them in ur life forever.

I'm not sure what you mean by "timeously". I looked the word up, and that didn't help. I don't think you mean he hurt you "on time". Do you mean "repeatedly"?

How has he hurt you? If it's something about himself that he promised to stop/change, and failed to do so, and that hurts you, that's one thing. If he keeps having sex with your best friend, that's another.

Actually, I think Green Lantern was more accurate with the word "unhealthy". You're not infatuated, but more like obsessed. Being willing to "do anything for that person" is not a sign of love. It's a sign of needing acceptance, at any cost. If you can "see them in your life forever" that's wishful thinking for a condition that would be good for you, but not necessarily for the other person.

Real love comes from mutual trust, understanding, desire and respect.

green lantern you fucking rock....

It's weird... humans are the rejects of the animal kingdom.

What animal would stay with a mate that impaired it's survival (or the survival of the young i suppose, black widows do away with their studs, and various other animals die after they've mated).

It kind of goes against our survival, to love someone who hurts you and makes you feel like shit.

Zanesgirl, perhaps you should mate with him, build a web, and kill him. After all, it's in our gender to do that