I'm left with a very hopeless and depressive feeling after my visit to the store earlier, and I'll tell you why. No, it's not about me or some memory or Kelly or any of that shit; just read it and quit assuming things. Dickhead. Anyway.

So I go to Walgreen's to pick some things up, the 24-hour one, a few hours ago. Same old shit, same clerk, etc. However, as I'm walking by the pharmacy, I spot this couple. It's a semi-short (about 5'5"), dirty little scrote of a man and a young, very attractive woman with shiny brown hair, standing at about 5'7".

"Oh boy, here it comes. Watch this guy mad-dog me for no reason, like always", I think to myself. Yes, that sounds arrogant, but that's because about 95% of the time, when I run into small-guy/tall-girl couples, I get these dirty looks from the little bastards. Hey, buddy, it ain't MY fault that even your girl's bigger than you, or that I'm a LOT bigger than you. Napoleon syndrome.

Anyway, the guy, as I expected, mad-dogs me, even though I'm not looking at the girl. So, to be an asshole, I look at the girl. I'd like to see him confront me about it.

Anyway, in my looking at the girl, at her face, at her eyes...I notice she has bruises, all over. Two blackened (not fresh bruises, in other words) eyes, a few random cheek and chin-bruises..It's obvious to me, someone who has witnessed plenty of abuse cases in the ER before, even though I'm only a pharmacy tech, that that little bastard has been beating her.

I study her eyes..She makes eye contact, then sheepishly averts her gaze, almost as if to say "If he saw me looking back, he'll hit me more!".

I looked at that little piece of shit again. I then looked at the woman again. Then him. I grew very, very, very irate. I don't know what the hell my face looked like, but I know that it conveyed the message perfectly to him:

"I see the marks on her face. I see that angry look on yours. I know what you're doing, you sorry piece of shit."

Now, most of you know how I look; you probably think I'm just a creepy geek. But I'm also a tall and large one who has a very, very nasty and piercing glare during moments like this. I hope to fucking god that I scared that fucking worthless cocksucker.

However, I'm not satisfied. Not because I didn't get to punch that little fucking prick's teeth down his short-assed neck, but because I didn't help the woman. I didn't confront the man; I didn't ask the woman directly, "Miss, hi, my name is Tom..I want you to tell me honestly; are those bruises on your face from your boyfriend here?". I know she would've been silent. I would have told her "It's ok, he's not going to hurt you with me here. Has he been hitting you?"

If she said yes...Oh, if she said yes..My teeth clench in a strange sort of glee at the thought of slamming Napoleon's bitchy little face into my knee.

But no. I'll never know, because I chose not to act. I chose not to cause a scene, amongst all those people; to possibly get arrested, or for all I know, have to shoot the little bastard. Sure, would've been a pleasure for me, but I had a feeling that the woman has convinced herself that spousal abuse is the norm, and would have seen ME as the villain, not her man, who I just put a .45 bullet through the heart of.

I didn't act, and I feel terrible. Again, not at all because I didn't get to act like a macho asshole, but because I didn't help the woman. I feel like that look in her scared, but pretty brown eyes was an imploring one; as if she wanted me to act, and I let her down. Maybe this isn't true, but I'm no fucking kid; I know when there is and isn't meaning in someone's eyes. But, maybe I'm misinterpreting.

I did, however, get their plate number. I decided I would use this, somehow, to call attention to the situation, and hopefully help the woman out, even if indirectly. I'm asking some advice: What should I do? Should I do anything? For one, trust me when I say that the marks WERE from someone's hands/fists. Just trust me on this one; there is no other possibility.

How can I use the plate number? Is there any perspective I might be missing, or any knowledge that I'm lacking? Do you think I'm just feeling bad because I didn't get to hit someone (If you do, fuck you; I know I can be macho, inflammatory, etc, but I'm a goddamned adult, and I know when to be serious and human; this was one of those times)? Got anything to say at all?

You know, a tear just fell from my eye, because I can see her looking at me still, right in my mind's eye. It's a very exquisite and awful sort of pain. The worst thing? It's not alien to me - I've been in the very same situation before, but the last time, I was too young and too naive to even know what to do. I just know that I felt the very same sort of pain at the thought of a woman falling victim to physical abuse. I don't even want to imagine a child, right now.

If anyone reading this is a victim of spousal abuse..All I have to say is, it's NOT the norm, and I implore you to do something. Please save yourselves; don't let it happen to you. Do I sound like a commercial? Maybe, but I'm not: I'm a person who doesn't want that sort of shit to happen to anyone, for better or worse.

-Infrared

And no, I'm not ignorant to the fact that some women are manipulative and evil bitches who will go to sickening lengths to make it LOOK like a man beat her when he didn't. My mother is one of these women, and I've seen and known, and even (briefly) dated one.

However, none of them have the same look in their eyes.

[This message has been edited by Infrared (edited 08-07-2004).]

Don't let your partner beat you, it's wrong.

That's this little story in short. Don't mean that as a diss Infrared, but alot of people will post "it's to long" and other stuff, so I just saved the day. Thank me later.

Fuck you.

quote:Originally posted by Infrared:

Fuck you.

What the fuck man, I'm being serious, I just saved the day, and then you go and tell me to fuck off, well suck my dick, faggot.

No, you're not being "Serious", you're being a wiseassed little cocksucker. Whether my thread is long or not doesn't matter; who the fuck are you to try and speak for me, or convey my message? Normally, I wouldn't give half a shit what a worthless little peon like you has to say, but this is a serious topic with a serious intent, and I don't need any immature little bitchkids like you fucking it up.

I expected as much, but that doesn't mean I'm going to tolerate it, not from you, nor any of your ilk. Once again: Fuck you.

Am I making myself clear?

Gala, you've made your point, and there's a lot that could have been trimmed out of that story, but bitch about Infra's style in BM, not here. If you don't like reading long posts, don't click Infrared's threads.

InfraTh, it's a good thing you didn't say anything or she would have just ignored you as you suspected and when she got home, he probably would have used her glancing at you as his excuse for the day to hit her. You might be able to flirt with some chick at the DMV into giving you access to their database and get an address. That or if you see the car again, follow it. Wait outside until the guy leaves without the girl and then swoop in to talk to her. A lot of work, but you sound like you might be serious about this and I don't think any charity or anything you call up is gonna help any.

Also, you don't actually carry a firearm with you on your trip to walgreens, do you?

I have it on me almost constantly, but the thing is, that is not borne of paranoia: Rather, it's borne of just plain forgetting I'm wearing it.

Mind, I'm a very careful gun-owner/user: I'm not about to forget it's on me and walk into a police station, or let it fall out of my holster and lose it, for some kid to find. I just mean, I'm not actively thinking "okay, got your gun? good, you might need it" when I go: I just have it on me like usual, and am only subconsciously aware of it. It's kinda hard to explain to someone that doesn't pack, but here's my best shot: Think of your shoes/boots/whatever footwear. How often, during the day, do you actively remind yourself "I have my shoes on"? Kinda like that.

[This message has been edited by Infrared (edited 08-07-2004).]

ok boys get back on topic.

the fact is there isn't much you can can do with just a plate number (unless of course you are able to track the car, find the owner, make sure the owner is living in his house, with the girl, provide an apt description, and report it to the police, and by then she may have healed up). But I know alot of people who are abused by their spouses, & i find that they have to WANT help to get it, I mean, it's no use trying to help some one when they think they don't need it, or the situation is entirely normal. because they just can't get it through their heads that what is going on is wrong. If this is the case with this woman, then she will need to be educated & have some one she can trust before she's going to want any help from anybody.

Idiots. All of you. Not you, bloody. Not you, GL.

Would a mod be so kind as to lock this? I'd just delete it, but to be honest, I'd rather my original content remain, at least for a little while. I'll take silence as a "no", and then go off and sulk. Just kidding.

I'll axe it after awhile, if none of yous have caught it.

Dude I really, REALLY got into that and then just tuned out. Sorry bro.

Raven

It doesn't matter. I guarantee you if you asked her straight up if he beat her, she would've said no. And if you tried to offer your help, she would've said no. Situations like that are a lot more delicate than you think.

What exactly would you have accomplished by beating him up? Even if the cops came, nothing could be proven until she files charges. The abuse would just continue. Shit like this happens all the time everywhere in the world and theres nothing anyone can do to stop it. Its fucking aggravating as hell. Abuse like that is very hard to prove in the courts, it sucks.

If you can get her address, by the "flirting with a DMV person" as was mentioned above, you could, perhaps, write her a letter. You could explain that you wanted to help her, and try to coax her into talking to you/getting help.

You could also not-so-delicately handle the situation, and do something crazy like breaking into their home, holding the man at gunpoint and demanding information.

No one should have to put up with bullshit like spousal abuse, and if I was in your position, I'd probably try to help her, too. Actually, if there's anything random I can do to help, I would be glad to.

Sorry about Gala being a stupid fuck, and flaming posts. Wish I could e-shoot him/her.

FirstSongOnTheDownwardSpiral: Nonetheless, it remains a powerful and animalistic, not to mention entirely valid, urge that's engrained in me; whether it's protective instinct, compassion or tempestuousness, it's still there. Instinct is capable of overriding logic if you let it. No, I didn't let it, considering the outcome, and all, but hell, I wanted to anyway. My basic instincts are rather unbridled; if I weren't the person I am, I'd probably be in prison for murder, aggravated assault, what have you. I make no apologies for the desire to break the neck of a wife-beating prick, and I also acknowledge the validity of your point. I'm not trying to be insulting, either.

All things considered, don't tell me you wouldn't enjoy seeing some wifebeating scumbag get his shit ruined, all litigious and logical points pushed aside.

How can you be sure it was a spousal abuse situation?

Maybe he was her brother and just "rescued" her from her abusive husband. Maybe they're a pimp and prostitute. Maybe they're undercover cops.

You just never know what's going on with people, and things aren't always as they seem. But, when people suspect abuse, they're more often than not right. Though I can't imagine why an abusive husband would appear in public with his beaten wife if he didn't have to.

I've been in a somewhat abusive relationship before, not the the point of where i was bruised all over, but to the point of being scared of pissing him off, or he'll hit me...again.

If someone had come up to me, I would have appriciated it, but I wouldn't have said anything-knowing that once the person was gone, I would have been punished...badly.

I got out of the relationship, but not without some trophys. A small scar on my leg where a lamp was thrown, and a lightbulb struck and broke, and some other small knicks.

I'm ok now, but at the time I had accepted it as it being something I did...somewhat the same as a small child feels when they are being abused.

I was a big girl, though. I could have spoken out-but chose not to, for fear of word comming back to him.

Hearing that you cared for this girl makes me feel one helluva alot better, so...thanks infrared.

Have a nice day everyone.

i have a similar story.one time my dad in one of his coke enduced rage's started hitting my mom.now i was only four at the time but knew it was wrong.i ran up to him to hit him and he picked me up and threw me across the room,know i was only four bit i was small for that afe and i landed on my brothe who was only two.luckily both of us werent hurt,thank god.<i dont even see how this was possible>but he kept hitting my mom finally he stopped.i was sent to bed and i then woke up late at night and the cops were at my house.so my mom or neighbors heard/saw the fight or her crying/screaming.so i thought they were gonna take my dad to prison.<i was four>but they didnt even make him leave the house.they made him sleep on the couch in the basement.but my mom was very badly bruised and shit.i cry to this day thinking about it and this was when i was four so it has been over a decade.the thing is you never heal from seeing those type of things.its a sad thing to see infrared and i am sorry you had too see it.i have seen too much.

Don't worry about it, Infared is just mad that you averted everyone's attention from his semi erotic post about spousal abuse.

Yes infra, everyone on this known planet wants your meth'd out self.

We get it, stop adding in little short stories about how much eye contact with a girl you make and how you are going to ravage her if only her man would confront you so you could tear him apart.

Everyone remember that Infra is not only a god, but a sex god. He is all knowing and don't ever question him, because he is a lot bigger than the rest of us. Not only is he physically built, but on numerous accounts has made believeable references to his enormous wang.

So please, just bow to him before he does something rash.

1) fuck her, shes still with him, she enjoys getting hit.

2) all talk, no balls. dont sit here and tell the internet your little fantasy about actually doing something more than looking at him, hike up your skirt and do it.

I know that look the woman gave you ... I've given it a few times myself to those around me, due to two separate boyffriends nontheless.

You need to act, and do it fast, before he causes more damage to her, physically, emotionally or mentally. It is good that you didn't confront him there, because most abuse victims develop a version of Stockholm's Syndrome, in that they feel for and even justify the actions of those who are harming them. She would not have learned anything, but rather have been more drawn to him.

What you can do, though, is alert the police and/or a woman's shelter nearby. Call up the cops, tell them that you were in a parking lot or something and this guy dropped something important (not a wallet, bucause the WOULD have the address in it). Ask for an adress so you can return it. Or, if you can think of an alternate way to obtain his address, do it.

Then you need to talk to her, or send over a trusted female to talk to her. I say female so that, in case the man is home at the time, he doesn't think his g/f or wife is cheating on him. She will not leave him until she realizes that his hitting her is abuse. So whether you send the cops over, or whatever, that fact must be stressed.

Considering the look she gave you, she might already realize it, but is too afraid to try to leave. When I realized what a past b/f was doing to me, and I tried to leave (we weren't even living together either, so I was just tyring to emotionally distance him from me) he wrapped wire around my throat. That was 3 years ago, and I still have the scar. It's going to be harder for her, since they probably live together. Once she realizes it's wrong ... she should slowly but discreetly start packing stuff up. Worse comes to worse ... just throw the bare essentials into a backpack, and run when he's at work.

Some people will tell you that she should obtain a restraining order against the guy, but an R.O. is simply a piece of paper. It doesn't throw up a magical shield or anything. She needs to get as far away from him as possible. You could even call the cops and send them over, so they'll see her bruises, but I don't know if they'll make an arrest since they didn't see it happening.

And ... I"m glad there's a guy out there who actually gives a damn about this kind of stuff. Guys like you give me hope.

I'm sorry IR, but you did the right thing. There's no point in risking your job and your life for a spineless little shit like that. You should ask for a formal investigation from the cops, which I think you're probably going to do.

quote:Originally posted by CarbonB:

Don't worry about it, Infared is just mad that you averted everyone's attention from his semi erotic post about spousal abuse.

Yes infra, everyone on this known planet wants your meth'd out self.

We get it, stop adding in little short stories about how much eye contact with a girl you make and how you are going to ravage her if only her man would confront you so you could tear him apart.

Everyone remember that Infra is not only a god, but a sex god. He is all knowing and don't ever question him, because he is a lot bigger than the rest of us. Not only is he physically built, but on numerous accounts has made believeable references to his enormous wang.

So please, just bow to him before he does something rash.

All I can say is ... fuck you. Once you've been in the same situation, then you can give wave your penis around and insult others on this topic.

Carbon, mrman, comeon, you guys show a little respect eh? Hes not trying to stroke his ego, hes just making a point about spousal abuse. Its a terrible thing and should NEVER have to happen to anyway. Cut the guy some slack.

Stop, Carbon. You're making me blush.

I didn't know meth allowed for blood flow to the brain?

Anyways moron....no one here can prove the story or validate the credibility of fantasy man BIG RED!

So why don't we cut the shit and just end this bullshit thread.

how about we get your dad to beat you up or something? though i expect he already does, you being a 13 year old kewl.



...sorry if that was a bit insensitive to people whos dads actually have beaten them up...

Carbon the way you act about this you must be a wife beater, i prey you get fucked up the ass with a pitch fork.

Back on topic, calling the cops could end in a bad situation. He could be abousing her and if the cops don't find anything they can't do anything. So he may think it was her fault he almost got caught and give it to her 10 times worse.

Well this may seem a little extreme but, find out where they live from the DMV or where ever, and spy. Catch the abous on camara or somthing (I don't know if that will help cause i've never been in one of these situations).

ever since that has happened i always can tell a wife is being beaten.she has a limp look and her eyes are glossy like she is always gonna cry.i try and help but there isnt much anyone can do unless they want help.its horrible i would like to do something but dont think i could really stop shit.im only sixteen but i could do some damage.

and infra how much did your 1911 cost?



[This message has been edited by frank the tank (edited 08-09-2004).]

I completely agree with deadlycindy. You know nothing other than the fact that she had bruises, and a peculiar look in her eyes. That isn't enough information to prove anything, and considering how many other situations could have resulted in this (her being a boxer, being someone who was recently mugged, etc.), I think that your judgement was a little premature. You should still do something though; call the police or something, because it may have been abuse.

quote:Originally posted by CarbonB:

Don't worry about it, Infared is just mad that you averted everyone's attention from his semi erotic post about spousal abuse.

Yes infra, everyone on this known planet wants your meth'd out self.

We get it, stop adding in little short stories about how much eye contact with a girl you make and how you are going to ravage her if only her man would confront you so you could tear him apart.

Everyone remember that Infra is not only a god, but a sex god. He is all knowing and don't ever question him, because he is a lot bigger than the rest of us. Not only is he physically built, but on numerous accounts has made believeable references to his enormous wang.

So please, just bow to him before he does something rash.

You couldn't have done anything to put a permanent stop to it at the moment(besides shooting him between the eyes), so don't feel like shit over it.